whoknowsjadedoe-blog - Tumblr blog

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Yerrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm back!

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hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof

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:) Birthday cake for Blonde. Thanks Tyler.

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I had the time of my life making all of this. thank you all. especially those of you who never let me forget I had to finish. which is basically every one of ya’ll. haha. love you.

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THESE BITCHES WANT NIKES. THEY LOOKING FOR A CHECK. I TELL EM IT AIN’T LIKELY. SAID SHE NEED A RING LIKE CARMELO. MUST BE ON THAT WHITE LIKE OTHELLO. ALL YOU WANT IS NIKES.  BUT THE REAL ONES.  JUST LIKE YOU.  JUST LIKE ME.  I DON’T PLAY, I DONT MAKE TIME.  BUT IF YOU NEED DICK I GOT YOU AND I YAM FROM THE LINE.  POUR UP FOR A$AP. RIP PIMP C. RIP TRAYVON, THAT NIGGA LOOK JUST LIKE ME.  WOOO, FUCCKKINN BUZZINNN WOOOO. THAT MY LIL COUSIN, HE GOT A LIL TRADE. HIS GIRL KEEP THE SCALES, A LIL MERMAID.  WE OUT BY THE POOL SOME LIL MERMAIDS. ME AND THEM GEL, LIKE TWIGS WIT DEM BANGS. NOW THAT’S A REAL MERMAID. YOU BEEN HOLDING YOUR BREATH. WEIGHTED DOWN.  PUNK MADRE, PUNK PAPA.  HE DON’T CARE FOR ME, BUT HE CARES FOR ME.  AND THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH.  WE DON’T TALK MUCH OR NOTHING. BUT WHEN WE TALKING BOUT SOMETHING, WE HAVE GOOD DISCUSSION.  I MET HIS FRIENDS LAST WEEK. FEELS LIKE THEY’RE UP TO SOMETHING.  THAT’S GOOD FOR US.  WE’LL LET YOU GUYS PROPHESY. WE’LL LET YOU GUYS PROPHESY. WE GON SEE THE FUTURE FIRST.  WE’LL LET YOU GUYS PROPHESY.  WE GON SEE THE FUTURE FIRST.  LIVING SO THE LAST NIGHT, FEELS LIKE A PAST LIFE.  SPEAKING OF THE DON’T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO PEOPLE, DEVIL BE POSSESSING HOMIES DEMONS TRY TO BODY JUMP.  WHY YOU THINK I’M IN THIS BITCH WEARING A FUCKING YARMULKE.  ACID ON ME LIKE THE RAIN.  WEED CRUMBLES INTO GLITTER.  RAIN. GLITTER.  WE LAID OUT ON THIS WET FLOOR.  AWAY TURF, NO ASTRO.  MESMERIZED HOW THE STROBES GLOW, LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE FEET DANCE.  I KNOW THAT YOUR NIGGA CAME WITCHA.  BUT HE AIN’T WITCHA.  WE ONLY HUMAN AND IT’S HUMID IN THESE BALMAINS.  I MEAN MY BALLS STICKING TO MY JEANS.  WE BREATHING PHEROMONES, AMBER ROSE.  SIPPING PINK GOLD LEMONADES. FEELING.  I MAY BE YOUNGER, BUT I’LL LOOK AFTER YOU.  WE’RE NOT IN LOVE BUT I’LL , MAKE LOVE TO YOU.  WHEN YOU’RE NOT HERE, I’LL SAVE SOME FOR YOU.  I’M NOT HIM, BUT I’LL MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU.  I’LL MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU.

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self portrait (2015)

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Mood

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I read in the paper that my brothers are being thrown from rooftops blindfolded with their hands tied behind their backs for violating sharia law. I heard the crowds stone these fallen men if they move after they hit the ground. I heard it’s in the name of God. I heard my pastor speak for God too, quoting scripture from his book. Words like abomination popped off my skin like hot grease as he went on to describe a lake of fire that God wanted me in. I heard on the news that the aftermath of a hate crime left piles of bodies on a dance floor this month. I heard the gunman feigned dead among all the people he killed. I heard the news say he was one of us. I was six years old when I heard my dad call our transgender waitress a faggot as he dragged me out a neighborhood diner saying we wouldn’t be served because she was dirty. That was the last afternoon I saw my father and the first time I heard that word, I think, although it wouldn’t shock me if it wasn’t. Many hate us and wish we didn’t exist. Many are annoyed by our wanting to be married like everyone else or use the correct restroom like everyone else. Many don’t see anything wrong with passing down the same old values that send thousands of kids into suicidal depression each year. So we say pride and we express love for who and what we are. Because who else will in earnest? I daydream on the idea that maybe all this barbarism and all these transgressions against ourselves is an equal and opposite reaction to something better happening in this world, some great swelling wave of openness and wakefulness out here. Reality by comparison looks grey, as in neither black nor white but also bleak. We are all God’s children, I heard. I left my siblings out of it and spoke with my maker directly and I think he sounds a lot like myself. If I being myself were more awesome at being detached from my own story in a way I being myself never could be. I wanna know what others hear, I’m scared to know but I wanna know what everyone hears when they talk to God. Do the insane hear the voice distorted? Do the indoctrinated hear another voice entirely?

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Bc I decided to love every part of myself & it's hot af 😛💛

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Starting to feel like myself again.

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