whygodohgodwhy

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“You saw my father’s ghost?”

“I’m not sure. He looked like you, but I never got his name. He was a complete loser though.”

“Shit, that’s him.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Quote Prompt

“I’ve been warned that I was making a mistake with you for years, but not killing you when I was supposed to and befriending you instead was literally the greatest investment I could have ever made in my life. I would be dead without you.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“I was worried that you were affected by the spell, but no, you were just having a mass brawl for some reason.”

“It keeps up the team morale. And gives everyone a chance to sort out any grievances. Or to touch another human. There’s some lonely people working here.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“You don’t seem like the sort of person who’d be interested in sport.”

“I used to play semi-professionally.”

“Really? I never would have guessed.”

“You’ve watched me play.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Quote Prompt

“I’m not so self-centered to assume that you absolutely must want to fuck me, but you were definitely acting like that right up until yesterday, so I’m wondering if I did something to upset you or if you just got bored of your crush on me.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“When your wife and your ex talk about ‘our kids’, it always sounds like they don’t consider you one of the parents.”

“They absolutely don’t. They started co-parenting the second they met. There were schedules and chore charts and laminated lists. It was chilling to realise that my type is Manager.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“You decided that we shouldn’t talk about our exes.”

“I didn’t want to hear about how much better than me they were in bed - you never said that they would try to hunt me for sport! That’s the sort of thing you bring up first - you let me lead that conversation.”

“This is why communication is so important, you wouldn’t be in this cage if you communicated with me more.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Quote Prompt

“What are parents but the mad scientists who take you from your real parents and cut you into pieces for their evil experiments?"

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“You’re not supposed to grow attached to your enemy’s replaceable subordinates. And, you are absolutely not supposed to kidnap those subordinates and lovingly nurse them back to health because you’re very fond of them.”

“Stop judging me. You’ve got your podcasts, I’ve got these weirdos.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“Why would you come to me for advice? I’m mean to you.”

“I know you’ll be honest with me.”

“No, I won’t. I’ll be mean to you. Because I’m mean. It’s normally not even true stuff that I’m mean about. Your hair is only mildly stupid, I was being mean about it last time.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Quote Prompt

“I can’t be doomed by the narrative when the narrative doesn’t even know I’m here.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“Were you ever going to tell me that you had magical powers?”

“Are you ever going to thank me for saving your life? Because I’m incredibly petty, and I demand to be praised.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“No one needs three last names. It's excessive.”

“I agree, but it wasn’t really my choice.”

“You should donate them to people who need them.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, but I’d love to do that.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Quote Prompt

“None of you appreciate how close to my last straw I am.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“We had a real enemies to lovers relationship, didn’t we?”

“No? When did we not like each other? We were never enemies.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Conversation Prompt

“I know you don’t believe in spirituality, but when you irritate me, I send you bad vibes.”

“Are you trying to say that you think you caused my car accident?”

“I’ve seen the footage, that truck swerved at you. Maybe the driver was susceptible to my vibes. Either way, I’m sorry about your spine.”

[whygodohgodwhy]

Quote Prompt

“I have no problems with gay people, both of my parents are gay. I mean, neither of them know that, but I have faith that they will figure it out one day, and I’ll love and support them when they do.”