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first person to eat a sausage an onion and a pepper together must have cummed themselves straight to death

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Benjamin Sullivan, the honorable and somewhat mysterious court magician was married last Saturday to Lettie Hatter, formerly of Market Chipping. The other court magician was also there, presumably as a guest of the matron of honor, Sophie Pendragon nee Hatter, the bride’s sister. They seemed wrapped up in some sort of disagreement for most of the ceremony though.

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Keith Haring's breakdancer animation cels for Sesame Street, 1987

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loading Swagg…

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Is that a hard penis in your pants or is it something different than that? Also: do you hate me?

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exits wigan and the pey wet turns to ash in my mouth

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greta was time's person of the year a few years ago. she was adored by all liberal world leaders and parties. and when she learnt about people's struggle under occupation and colonialism, she stood in solidarity with them . she now stands with palestine and armenia and kashmir and every oppressed person in the world. she could have been rich as fuck by simply remaining as a climate activist. yet she chose to do the right thing. i love her for her integrity.

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this is literally how it is

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I went to a taylor swift concert once and it was mostly ok but there was one standout moment where they brought a red pulsating jewel on stage. Taylor said it was called the heart of Ozymandias. She kept inviting people on stage to touch it and every time they did they would turn into sand and blow away. And people just kept going up and touching the thing.

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(sitting in easy chair holding a long cane) When I first heard My Girls, by the musical band Animal Collective, I believed they were singing about a brand new Adobe Product called Slabs, (Chuckles) boy was I wrong... (Scene fades out and a title card reads "Sarajevo, June 28th, 1914)

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When a customer makes me mad I go into the storage room and pull out one of this guy’s teeth

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a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

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living in the USA rn means every news headline every day is like BREAKING NEWS: The Universal Free Puppy Plan guaranteeing every USA resident receives a free puppy has been terminated. Funds for this initiative will instead be going to the ‘GUNCH IT UP’ act, ensuring that every item on grocery store shelves now contains at least 25% coal tar

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Does anyone have recommendations on good social norms for beginners? I'm looking to start conforming more but I'm not sure which norms will provide the most social currency. Thanks