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šļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ļ潚šš. prof. dancer & youtuber follow @mikeyyflores
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mattfmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā the weight of the container falling onto his lap isnāt anywhere near enough to hurt matty ā not physically , at least . emotionally ? thatās a different story . somehow , it stings . the oreos being dropped rather carelessly feels familiar . itās caught him off - guard . but not nearly as off - guard as heād been when mikey had put a pin in their final argument with that question . do you want to break up ? itās like he can still hear it reverberating off the walls even now . suddenly , heās lost his appetite , cookies remaining completely untouched in his lap . eyes donāt follow mikey as he moves to sit down on the sofa , choosing to stare blankly at the wall instead . itās all he can do . if he meets those chocolate brown eyes , matty knows heāll succumb to his emotions , and theyāre all moving so erratically in his head that he doesnāt even know what thatāll look like . he canāt pinpoint a feeling to focus on until mikey speaks up again with a passive comment , and then the jagged spikes of anger are pricking his skin . thatās always been the most vivid emotion to him . he canāt quite place what exactly heās mad at , so he takes it out on the stupid blue package , finally making a move to grab it , but only so he could toss it onto the coffee table haphazardly . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā what he really wants is to just tuck himself between mikeyās arms , press all the way into his space , and just lay there . but thatās something thatās off - limits now , and itās only frustrating him more . why is this all so difficult ? itās confusing , and itās tiring , and matt just wants his head to stop spinning . now heās wishing he wouldnāt have indulged in so much booze . he leans forwards , making a move to unzip his boot ( maybe he misses the first try , but thatās nobodyās business ) . after intense focus , heās finally kicking his shoes off , pulling his legs up onto the sofa , and leaning in the opposite direction of the curly - haired boy that sits beside him . arms are wrapped around his own torso , but theyāre nowhere near as comforting as mikeyās own . thinking back to how itād felt only a couple of minutes ago outside that cab to be fully engulfed in his embrace once again ⦠this pales in comparison . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā the sound of mikeyās voice floods his ears , but he doesnāt make any move to indicate that heās heard him , just continues to lean up against the arm of the couch , staring forward without a word . the wobbly camerawork of whateverās on the television screen is starting to make him nauseous though , gaze finally tearing away to meet mikeyās . his expressionās disgruntled at first ā brows furrowed , corners of his lips curved downwards . but the longer he looks at him , the more his features are softening . heās desperately searching his eyes for something ā anything ā to ground him and let him know that heās not crazy for feeling this way . without even realizing it , heād stopped leaning away . thereās this urge to be close to him that matty canāt deny . his torsoās just starting to tilt towards mikeyās before he stops , remembering that he shouldnāt . you can see the sadness that flashes across his features ā he canāt mask it as quickly as he can when heās sober . letting his back hit the couch once more , a hand combs up to push back his hairĀ ( to no avail ā the curls tumble over his forehead again as soon as his handās brought down ) .Ā Ā ā what ?Ā āĀ the word escapes him with a small sigh ; heās not sure if he even wants to hear mikeyās response .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā mikey watches the curls tumble back down onto matty's forehead, his own hand twitching at the memory of what it felt like to card through that softness, to wind slightly too long tendrils around his fingers as he dragged matty in for a kiss. god, he wants to touch him so badly, to justĀ feel again ( physically and emotionally ). he wants to reach out and gently turn his face back toward him to see if he'd imagined that flash of anguish or NOT, and then say everything is going to be okay ā but it's not, that's the thing. nothing is okay, and it hasn't been since that last day when all their not okay-ness had welled up to the surface.Ā Ā Ā what ? Ā Ā what is it that mikey wants to say ?? 'i'm sorry ??' that doesn't even begin to cover it and he's had time to compose and rehearse so many grand speeches, in the shower, in the bathroom mirror, when he's waiting for videos to upload and doesn't have matty hanging over his shoulder to distract him. they all fail to come to mind now, just as they failed to come forth in that stupid department store when theyād just been standing there. just being in matty's presence pales in comparison to every situation and memory his mind his built ; matty had always had a way of surpassing his imagination.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā matty's DRUNK now anyway ā it's not like they could have a conversation now that wouldn't leave him feeling guilty even if he got the answers he wanted. that's the thing about life : there are consequences. ask a question ; get an answer. ask a question ; someone walks out of your life and you're left wondering if you simply didn't try hard enough, gave up to soon and lost the love of your life. people have told him that maybe he's dodged a bullet with the way things ended, but the way mikey sees it he simply loaded the gun and let matty pull the trigger on them both : it doesn't happen if the situation is never presented. besides, he feels worse now than he ever did when they were together, and that pain never went away even people said it would get better. mikey doesn't feel like it's getting better ; number, maybe. no, the truth is even this painful push and pull feels more right than anything these past few months, more than any warm body he's fallen into bed with in an attempt to MOVE ON. how pathetic that he rather have this pain than not have him at ALL.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā he finally reaches over, a gentle touch caressing the back of matty's hand in his lap before fully covering it with his own. it's not an interlocking of fingers, more just a slight curl into the palm. he doesn't trust himself to do anything else, probably shouldn't even trust himself to do even this ; shouldn't have brought matty back to the apartment that once was theirs in all but the signatures on the lease. Ā Ā " we should ā " Ā Ā a beat of silence hangs in the air, full of possibilities and propositions. mikey's still clinging to his hand, voice quiet almost lost in the murmur from the television. Ā Ā " ā get some sleep. you've had a rough night. " Ā Ā he needs to let go, gaze dropping to their hands ( the metaphor feels far too stark ). he doesn't let go, gaze pulled straight back up again. matty is so close, so real and tempting and everything he wants. it's like it was outside the taxi, his free hand moving almost of its own accord to gently brush back the curls from matty's forehead. his heart trembles in his chest, eyelids blinking rapidly as the emotion hits him all at once. matty is someone he loves, still loves ā maybe he should just accept that.
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā exhaustion had hit him like a fucking semi - truck almost as soon as heād plopped down on the couch . matty hadnāt realized he was this tired ā too pumped up on the adrenaline kick he got from just from being around mikey . his headās lulling back onto the sofa , practically sinking into the cushions . a part of him wants to be swallowed whole by the piece of furniture . that feels like itād be easier to handle than having to look mikey in the eye again . thereās too many emotions that come with meeting those chocolate brown eyes ; sober matty couldnāt handle it , so drunk mattyās at a complete loss . the only thing thatās clear to him is that he wants mikey as close as he could get him . he feels better when heās around , even if it elicits an ache somewhere deep in his chest .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā hearing his footsteps approaching has matt lifting his head back up , hand moving to rub at his eyes . brows pinch at the glass of water being thrust towards him . didnāt he just say that he didnāt want water ?Ā ( no , seriously . he said that , right ? heās already forgotten ) .Ā eyes drift upwards from the cup to meet mikeyās gaze when he tells him what to do , teeth digging into his lesser lip , breaking eye - contact for a moment to give him a once - over . heās going to be difficult because , well , heās matty , and difficult might as well be his middle name .Ā Ā ā give me the oreos . āĀ eyes narrow a bit , a challenging expression written on his features . heās always been more stubborn than mikey , and a few months apart wouldnāt change that .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā against his better judgement , mattyās chosen to take an fightingĀ stance over something as frivolous as a container of cookies . although , it could definitely be argued that matty had no āĀ better judgement āĀ when it came to things like this . heās always this wayĀ : hardheaded , ready to fight , unwilling to compromise . mikey had been the only person that could wane his high - strung disposition down , but even then , it still managed to rear its ugly head . and maybe thatās what had truly led to their demise . the realization cuts through mattyās psyche clear enough that it hurts , once - unwavering stare dropping to the ground .Ā Ā āĀ ā okay ,Ā fine . āĀ he mutters , no further argument needed than the one that just went on inside his own head . this is hard for him , and he canāt pinpoint why or how to make it easier . hand extends to take the glass of water from mikeyās hands , looking anywhere but him as he finishes it off , lifting up the empty glass . heās tired of this look , then look away , but still , his gaze is finally dragging up to meet mikeyās once more . glossed - overĀ eyes linger on mikeyās features , bottom lip jutting out in the slightest pout .Ā Ā ā now ?Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā things hang in uneasy balance for a moment, matty glaring up at him, the glass of water still suspended between them and feeling like more than just a glass of water. matty gives quicker than he expects with ducking eyes that makes it difficult to possibly glean what's turning behind beautiful irises. usually it's him that gives in first : always the first to cave, the first to forgive, the first to try to avoid an argument ( maybe in some ways, that'd been the problem ā too eager to PLEASE ). matty takes the glass and mikey doesn't know if this feels more like victory or defeat ā perhaps neither, it just is. his eyes linger on the movement of the adam's apple bobbing in matty's throat before he forces himself to look away, only to look back again a moment later at his petulant question. this feels harder than anything he's done, each emotional step tested out carefully in fear of taking the wrong one ( but he doesn't even know where he's going, where they're going and that makes this near impossible ).
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā the still unopened package of oreos is dropped unceremoniously into matty's lap and after a moment of hesitation, mikey settles down on the couch beside him, not too close but probably not as far away as he should either. truth is even the opposite end of the cushions probably wouldn't be enough space to dampen the potency of matty's presence, to quiet the urge to drag him into his lap and keep him there until they passed out in a mess of limbs at odd angles. he toys with his own hands in his lap to them something to do, tongue passing over his lips again. Ā Ā " try not to get any crumbs on the couch, " Ā Ā is what he mumbles out finally, so far off base from the half dozen other sentences colliding around in his head.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā his gaze skims matty's profile before falling to that stupid blue packaging that gives too much away, in his opinion. ( he's thinking too hard, over complicating things that should be so simple ā matty had felt so simple, so right once ; he still does, and mikey knows he has no right to feel like that anymore ). they're just fucking oreos, but just their presence when mikey doesn't even like them a quarter the way matty does feels just as damning as the way he hadn't even hesitated when he saw matty passed out at the back of that bar ; he hopes matty is still too sloshed to really question the convient presence of his favorite craving. he leans forward again to retrieve the remote from the table and flick the tv on, volume levels turned down to a low buzz that fills in the aching silences that stretch between them ( and makes it harder for his head to slot in distracting thoughts ā but not impossible ). Ā Ā " matty ā " Ā Ā there he goes looking at him again, watching the light and shadow from the screen play across his face. he wants to trace the lines there, wonders if his hands remember as much as his heart.
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā thatās not what he wants , and heās quick to let mikey know that with a small huff of displeasure . he doesnāt care if the angleās impossible , or if they shouldnāt given the circumstances ā matt just wants to be as close to him as possible . he wants the tender touches and their fingers laced together . itās always been that way with mikey ā close isnāt close enough , and that still hasnāt changed ( not to drunk matty , at least ) . but he canāt quite put those feelings into words . not any words he dares to utter now . even inebriated , thereās a part of him that knows heās not supposed to say things like that to him anymore . so he settles for a frown , a hand around his wrist , and a dull ache in his chest instead .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā standing in mikeyās apartment makes him feel at home and so startlingly out - of - placeĀ at the same time . itās not supposed to be like this .Ā the rapid fluctuation of his emotions is starting to make his head hurt . eyes roam slowly over the space , drinking up every single memory that his fuzzy mind can recall . all of them HURTĀ ā even the happy ones . because they canāt go back ⦠right ?Ā people donāt just break up for no reason . itās better this way , even if it doesnāt really feel like it ( thatās what heās been trying to convince himself of the past few months anyways ) . gaze finally comes back around to meet mikeyās , studying his features as intently as he could with bleary vision . he loves him , and heās beginning to realize that thatās never going to go away . matty hopes he forgets it come morning . itāll hurt less that way .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā mikeyās inquiry has him pulling a little face , nose scrunching up in distaste . he doesnāt want water ( but he should definitely have a glass if he wants to even attempt at lessening the hangover heās going to have tomorrow ) . despite the fact that heās still teetering on his feet , matt thinks heād rather have another round .Ā Ā ā ā- oreos . āĀ he blurts out , pointing a finger in mikeyās direction , as if heād made a valid point . itās not too much of an outlandish response , given the fact that heās still drunk off his ass , and the fact that heās matt . theyāre his favorite snack , after all .Ā Ā ā i want oreos . āĀ he repeats once again , maybe a little more coherently .Ā Ā ā the double stuf ones though . i only want those ones . āĀ ā¦Ā and thenĀ heās beginning to slur his words together again , finger still pointing in mikeyās direction , really emphasizing how strongly he felt about his choice in cookies .Ā Ā ā waterās for fuckinā losers . āĀ unnecessary , but a nice touch .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā mikey smiles. he can't help it, more reflex than anything as he watches matty declare his desire for oreos ā it's like for a moment everything shifts to fall perfectly ( like nothing happened, like they're still walking the same line side by side ). it passes soon enough, leaving a bitter taste in mikey's mouth and a bitter twist in his heart. matty's literally at arm's distance away from him, but it feels so much further than that ā and maybe he can admit that it felt like further than that even before he'd dropped that dreaded question and matty walked out on him. the smile wanes quickly enough, gaze dropping to the floor between them because looking directly at matty feels like looking at the sun ; even if matty's always been the moon to him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā " alright ā " Ā Ā mikey says finally, he's not smiling anymore but there's something SOFT lingering in his eyes, that will probably linger in his eyes for eternity every time he looks at matty even if this is as much as he gets anymore. tongue wets his lips once, a nervous tick as he meets matty's unsteady gaze again. Ā Ā " i'll see what i can do. just ā " Ā Ā make yourself at home. Ā Ā he breaks off before he says the turn of phrase but he feels the words burning on his tongue, hot enough to choke on. they want to be free and mikey wants to say them, and he wants them to be TRUE. he wants to wake up in the middle of the night to matty asleep on his chest, to stumble out of their bedroom to find him in the kitchen singing to himself, to crowd his space on the couch, to have him bring the world into sharp focus around him because these past few months have felt so damn muddied. he WANTSā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā he makes some jerky and vague gesture at the couch, not trusting himself to speak before he's retreating a dozen or so steps to his kitchen. his back is to matty as he rustles around in his cabinets, but he still feels his presence with every molecule of his body. he doesn't even know what he's looking for until he finds it : a container of double stuffed oreos tucked behind his boxes of pasta, the packaging still fully sealed and untouched ā likely an instinctive purchase at the grocery store he hadn't realized until he'd gottan back to his apartment and pulled it out of the bag. the blue foil crinkles under his fingers as he pulls it out, this stupid physical reminder of what his subconsciousness craves, staring at it like it's wronged him. it's pathetic, is what it is. he returns to matty with a glass of water too, almost forcefully shoving the glass at him, the oreos hold carefully behind him. Ā Ā " ā you drink this FIRST. "
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ššššššš š
šš: @heavenspalmā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā there really wasn't anyone who hated himself more for letting matty go than HIMSELF, but when it came down to it bea parker might come in at a really close second. mikey made a habit of avoiding all members of sucker punch regardless : matty for the obvious, skyler because he didn't need to see the disappointed look in his eyes, and bea because he was afraid she might take their band name a bit too literally and he couldn't afford a broken nose ā even if he could personally agree he probably did deserve it. it's still INEVITABLE that he runs into her, murphy's law hard at work and all, but did it have to happen so LITERALLY ?? ( probably, yeah ). he stares at her with horrified wide-eyed recognition, absolutely drenched in what had been her fresh cup of coffee all of two seconds ago ā well, honestly better him than HER. Ā Ā " please don't hit me, " Ā Ā he blurts out. there's a suspicious guy in the corner of the cafe who's eyeing them, a fancy looking camera sitting in his lap. while mikey hasn't EXACTLY been giving a shit what kinds of headlines he's been making, he'd prefer to not have the embarrassment of a photo of himself getting punched out on the front page. Ā Ā " i'll buy you another ā or ā or like, you can have mine. "
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āššš¼ššš½š¼š¾š: šššššššš 2020ā
mattfmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā iāmĀ already an ice block , is what he wants to argue , but mikeyās chivalrous gesture practically makes him melt , gaze softening .Ā āĀ but i donāt want you to get cold . āĀ heās still reaching out to grab a hold of the sweater anyways , thumbing over the thick fabric . it would make him a whole lot warmer ⦠a slight frown tugs on the corners of his lips , brows pinching together as he takes the coat from mikeyās hands .Ā āĀ ā tell me if you get too cold , and iāll give it backĀ , okay ? āĀ matty means that , only breaking eye contact to slip the jacket on . mitten - clad hand reaches out to rest on mikeyās chest , a quick glance up and back down the street to ensure that they were alone , and heās leaning forward to peck his lips .Ā Ā ā thank you . āĀ he all but hums out , palm lingering on the otherās torso for a little while longer .Ā Ā ā my hero . āĀ words accompanied by a soft laugh , tone dripping in light - hearted sarcasm . he doesnāt try to bite back his smiles anymore ā not around mikey ā but the small grin that adorns his features is still delicate . finally , he pulls away , but his other hand it soon reaching up and out , the strap of the camera bag dangling from his fingers . matty had shrugged it off his shoulder while he was layering up ,Ā Ā ā you can still carry the camera though , since youāre being such a gentleman already . ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā even if he were freezing his ass off ( which he's not ), it would absolutely be worth it anyway just to see the look on matty's face. he'd love to reciprocate more, but there's only so much they can do in a very public street even if it is currently EMPTY. what he doesn't say likely shows in his eyes regardless ; mikey's never been the greatest at shuttering those, especially to matty who has always had a way of seeing right through him. mikey reaches out for the outstretched camera instead, slinging the strap over his own shoulder with a quiet scoff, Ā Ā Ā Ā " please ā you know i don't get cold ; it's like a BALMY negative four degrees right now. " Ā Ā the toronto weather seems to be intent on proving him wrong though, a chilly breeze cutting down the street. mikey doesn't shiver, but he feels the cold air through the fabric of his shirt and yeah, they probably don't need to be lingering here any longer. he brushes past matty with another ADORING smile, ignoring the urge to link their hands and settling instead for a steady arm across matty's back that could be written off as platonic if it HAD to be as he steers them back down the street. Ā Ā " c'mon, angel ā the studio awaits and we'll get you warmed right up. i'm sure there's still some hot chocolate mix left over from last time. " Ā Ā ā among other things.
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#;; matty#;; matty002f#;; threads#( the way they are so depressingly wholesome )#( mikey is what the kids called#whipped )
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āššš¼ššš½š¼š¾š:Ā šššššššš 2020ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā and i told you that we should just take the car ā you know , the thing that would still get us from point a to point b and has a built - in heater ? āĀ bitterness hangs heavily in his tone , but itās not meant to instigate . thatās really just how he talks . his feet are dragging , dragging , dragging , until they come to a halt . heās going to freeze to death out here ā he knows it . teeth grit together in an attempt to stop them from chattering ( to no avail ) .Ā Ā ā i canāt feel my nose anymoreĀ . āĀ but heās still not going to admit that mikey might have been right in his suggestion earlier today . chocolate brown eyes stay glued on mikeyās face as he adjusts his hood for him , nose scrunching up a little . matty didnāt think theyād be out for this long , or he wouldāve layered some more . now , all he has is the fleeting warmth of the blue university of toronto hoodie that heād stolen from mikeyās closet . ( matty had really meant it that night when he said mikey wasnāt getting it back ā it was his favorite now too ) .Ā Ā ā baby ⦠āĀ he begins , eyebrows raised ever so slightly , bringing a hand up to rest over one of mikeyās ,Ā Ā ā i love you , but you said that literally five minutes ago , so i think we have different ideas on whatĀ āalmostā means . care to elaborate on that ? is it another five minutes , or is it another ten of walking through the fucking tundra ? āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā " definitely less than FIVE, i swear, but okay, okay ā " Ā Ā matty has a point, as he normally does. mikey forgets sometimes in the euphoria that is gently falling snow that not everyone is impervious to cold, including his boyfriend. at least he does sound pretty sheepish about it. Ā Ā Ā " tell you what ā " Ā Ā his gaze roams the street to make sure it's empty ( it is, some sluggish side street more apartments then stores ), before he's pulling matty closer under pretense of warmth, though the truth is he always wants matty closer to him ; some days, it's a minor miracle that they've never been CAUGHT ( paying off cabbies for backseat antics definitely doesn't count ). a soft smile, apologetic around the edges, lights up his face before he's leaning forward, lips brushing gently across the bridge of matty's nose, Ā Ā " i'll call us an uber for the way back, BUT ā " Ā Ā he's already pulling away to strip off his own sweatshirt, leaving him in a well fitted flannel that clings in all the right places, Ā Ā " ā until then, you take this and attempt to not turn into an ice block. " Ā Ā he holds the mass of fabric out to him with raised brows. even he's on the side of slightly uncomfortable without the extra layer of fabric, but matty looks far more worse for wear then he does ā and let's be honest, he'd do anything for matty, especially if you consider this is lowkey his own fault.
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#;; matty#;; matty002f#;; threads#( mikey is n fact a harlot )#( why do you think i'm always the first to yeet from using gifsĀ ššš )#( i for one#wish is was snowing#but anyway.....#idea hit me#imma message u )
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āššš¼ššš½š¼š¾š:Ā šššššššš 2020ā
ššššššš š
šš: @mattfmā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā cāmon, babe ā i told you to wear a warmer coat. āĀ Ā Ā mikeyās voice is still leaning more toward concernedĀ than annoyed or amused though, his crunching footsteps in the snow halting as he twists around to see where mattyās fallen behind. he pauses, before the crunching picks up again and heās headed back toward matty. once back at his side, a mitten-clad hand comes up to brush off snow thatās started to stick to chocolate curls before heās drawing up the hood thatās fallen back around mattyās neck. the warmth thatās no doubt pooled in his own brown irises will do little in means of heat transfer, but his hands linger on mattyās shoulders, pulling a little on the strap that hangs over his shoulder.Ā Ā Ā ā weāre almost back ā lemme carry the camera, at least. ā
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#;; matty#;; matty002f#;; threads#( just starting things off with....#a little flashback u kno )#( wholesome content )#( this gif is so jarring with me talking abt snow but shhh )#( and this is so short but again SHHH )
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ( xavier serrano , cis male , he / him, 23 ) no way ! i swear i saw ššššššš š
ššššš walking down danforth avenue ! i just saw a post about them on 6secrets ! i think it said something like āššššš š
ššššš ššššššš ššššššš š
ššššš ššššš'š šššššššš šš š šš : ššššššš šš ššš ššššššš š
šššš ?ā. isnāt that wild ? i guess that makes sense since theyāre apparently ššššššššššš and ššššššš. fans will claim that theyāre šššššššššš and ššššššššššš. Ā i mean , itās not like i know them personally ā theyāre a famous šššš
šššššššš šššššš / šššššššš. whenever i think of them, i think of ššššš ššššššš ššššš š
ššššš ššššš š-šššššš, šššššš ššššššššš ššššš ššššš ššššššš šššššššššš, & šššššššš šššššš šššššš ššššššš ššššššššš ššššššš. i wish i would have asked for an autograph ! ( oliver, they / them, 22, est ).
ššš ššššš
ā mikey was born and raised in winnipeg because i think itās funny when characters are from winnipeg. if youāre from winnipeg iām so sorry. definitely was born on the coldest day of that year ( so like some point in january )
ā but because of those long, cold harsh winters, mikey found himself in a dance studio a lot. his aunt was a dance teacher and with rather absent parents who meant well but both had long hours at the local hospital, he spent a lot of time with her. he fell in love with dance pretty early on, always having a certain fluidity and grace even when he was young.
ā random but he also played hockey up until he was like 16 or whatever because heās canadian and iām not stupid. it happened. he can still skate tho. in a slightly different life he probably would have been a pretty good figure skater huh š¤š¤š¤ but anyway...
ā also feel like it makes sense that he did gymnastics. and trained in classical ballet.
ā he went to university of toronto for college, studying kinesology and dance, and danced at one of the prestigious studios in the city.
ā his big break moment was when in his sophomore year at ut, he made it onto the second season of world of dance in early 2017 ( lets pretend that show has been on longer than it has bc i donāt want it to be the first season of it sldk ). he made it all the way to the finals and quickly become a fan favorite along the way. though he ultimately placed second and missed out on the million dollars, that was the beginning of many doors opening for him. ( for those who, might have the vaguest clue what iām talking about : iām highkey feeling like, michael dameski style which is an idea i had after i named him michael so donāt @ me for him having the same first name ).
ā millions watched that show, including some prominent agents and scouts who were able to help him launch a professional dance career : something he never thought heād see himself actually doing. his first big gig was making the dance team for some singerās north american tour, and he ended up not returning to ut to pursue a professional dance career full time. since then heās danced in a few music videos for some uber famous musican ( same one he went on tour with or not idk ?? also a wc ?? maybe ?? ), a tv show, couple movies, and other various gigs around the city. he works part time at a studio when he has time, and has been honing his choreography skills as well.
ā he makes enough dancing, but certainly not enough to make him RICH. no, that come from an impromptu vlog he did while on tour with aforementioned singer. having already garnered a following from world of dance, he soon rose to youtube fame as well, something he never could have predicted. i feel like his videos are very just, day in a life with various random athletic challenges mixed in, and various workout and flexibility tips. he also still does pieces and duets with other prominent dancers just for fun too. his natural charisma and attitude really just carries him through easily lmao.
ā mikey developed a bit of a habit of sleeping around when he left for college, all the newfound freedom was just intoxicating and well. he was hot so. it wasnāt like it was hard alsdkjf. that stuck around well into his blossoming dance career. nothing that was enough to be scandalous, but he made his way around. and then a year and a half into this unforeseen new life, he met matthew glass.
ā heād had a couple serious relationships before, one in high school, one his freshman year of college but neither of them could hold a flame to what he felt when he was with matt. perfection wasnāt something mikey believed in, but he almost did with what they had.
ā it was like for over a year and a half he lived in this insane dream, and then mikey and matt broke up and he was devastated ( behind closed doors and with curtains pulled tightly shut ).
ā he then proceeded to broadcast how perfectly fine he was doing by going back to his old ways and sleeping around obsessively, this time with very little regard as to how many headlines he was making. as far as coping mechanisms go, i guess sex is better than alcohol ?? not to say he wasnāt also drunk at times l o l.
šššš
ā mikey gets around. has definitely been trying to forget matty with other warm bodies but honestly itās not working
ā very bi. very much does not care. if the world didnāt know he was before, it definitely does now lmao. he hasnāt come out in the sense heās like posted a video about it and said āiām bisexualā but itās pretty obvious from the media and maybe he has gotten asked in interviews and has just shrugged and been like does it matter ?? iām sorry heās not the vocal bi ally we need. perhaps we will work on that.
ā hasnāt dated anyone since matt bc heās highkey lowkey still hung up on him but no one needs to know that right. outwardly, heās very much the same : seemingly happy, but heās a lot more careful with his heart and letting people close to him. if anything heās become a bit of a two-way mirror, always seeing out but never really letting people see in, just what they want to see.
ā probably goes without saying but extremely flexible. idk if any of you know who juuse saros is but apparently he can twerk in a split and iām not saying mikey can but like. he just might be able to...
ā straight up does not get cold. never wears more than a hoodie, probably danced shirtless in the middle of winter just fine. at least being from winnipeg is good for one ( 1 ) thing.
ā i feel like people call him flower. idk guys. maybe im just thinking too much abt hockey goalies.
ā always posting on instagram stories. u kno the type.
ššššššššššš
ā he tends to be extremely underestimated as he comes across a bit dumb and generally has a pretty positive outlook on life which people confuse for him being naive when that isnāt the case. but heās found he can use that it his advantage and that sometimes, people will tell him things they think he canāt understand but he hears and remembers everything. itās helped him out of a few difficult situations before.
ā i feel like he has a bit of ethan dolanās personality & dumbass energy idk guys...
ā live in the moment kind of dude. his motto is probably like : you just gotta know what you want to do next. i mean looking back on his life itās been pretty crazy and thatās only solidified his outlook that like, you really canāt control too much. just let it go where it takes you.
ā people do like him though and they like talking to him for whatever reason. generally has pretty trustworthy vibes but heās more slippery than he comes across. heās a selfish person at heart and always has his own best interests in mind, even if it doesnāt seem that way at first.
ā extroverted. i think ??
šššššššššš
ā 6ā²1ā³. chocolate brown eyes. curly brown hair. he has a lithe but extremely fit build due to his career. his core strength is especially impressive.
ā he has a monochromatic lineart tattoo of a rose on his left forearm / wrist and a butterfly ( again monochromatic & just lineart ) on his right shoulder. small scar at the base of his neck by his ear from an unfortunate hockey accident.
ā needs glasses but usually only wears contacts unless heās in his apartment late at night.
ā heās not overly fashionable, going more for comfort than how he generally looks. on a regular day, heās probably got the whole... college athlete look going if you know what i mean. a big fan of mirrored aviator sunglasses. wouldnāt know what dressing up meant even if it slapped him in the face.
ā PINTEREST BOARD
šššššš ššššššššššš
first and foremost i want to say that i like to vibe and brainstorm with people to come up with unique connections between our characters but here are a few ideas :
ā ( f ) a close friend he has had on his channel a few times and fans passionately ship them but theyāre really just good friends. maybe they play into the drama a few times as well tho. ā the singer whose tour he danced on ā singer whose music videos heās been in ā mayhaps even actors for that tv show / movie he was in ( v small role but whatevs. maybe they just Vibed yknow ) ā flirtationship š ā always ye ol good hookup l o l ā we keep running into each other idk maybe we should talk ??
TAKEN CONNECTIONS PAGE HERE
ššš
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā hey guys, iām ollie. my intros are either written really eloquently or a big mess bc im trying to rub together a couple braincells at 1 am and whatever comes out, comes out. no need to guess which category this one falls into lmAO. anyway, iām a slow plotter bc iām easily overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once but i swear i will try to get to as many people as i can. and yeah this entire character is inspired by my love of world of dance donāt @ me... if u made it all the way down here u should watch this bc š³ & mikey has the same athleticism and strength.
#sixhqintro#( the way all of five words have changed in this entire thing#despite the fact i know i COULD write it better but#am too lazy too alsdkfj )#( new graphics psd i like better tho alsdkfj )
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glassfmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā hisĀ feetĀ carryĀ himĀ forwardĀ ,Ā butĀ heĀ canĀ hardlyĀ feelĀ itĀ .Ā itāsĀ theĀ senseĀ ofĀ lossĀ thatĀ overwhelmsĀ allĀ ofĀ hisĀ sensesĀ nowĀ .Ā heĀ missesĀ mikeyĀ soĀ muchĀ thatĀ hisĀ entireĀ bodyĀ carriesĀ aĀ dullĀ acheĀ withĀ everyĀ stepĀ .Ā andĀ theĀ worstĀ partĀ isĀ thatĀ heāsĀ rightĀ thereĀ āĀ mattyāsĀ gotĀ anĀ armĀ aroundĀ himĀ ā-Ā andĀ thereāsĀ nothingĀ elseĀ heĀ canĀ doĀ butĀ stayĀ silentĀ asĀ heĀ trudgesĀ insideĀ theĀ buildingĀ .Ā hisĀ mindāsĀ tooĀ fuzzyĀ toĀ thinkĀ ofĀ somethingĀ toĀ sayĀ thatĀ wouldĀ makeĀ senseĀ ,Ā andĀ evenĀ thenĀ ,Ā heĀ doesnātĀ knowĀ ifĀ heĀ couldĀ bringĀ himselfĀ toĀ speakĀ theĀ wordsĀ aloudĀ .Ā theĀ silenceĀ thatĀ lingersĀ betweenĀ theĀ twoĀ ofĀ themĀ isĀ usuallyĀ comfortableĀ (Ā pre - breakupĀ )Ā ,Ā butĀ thisĀ ā¦Ā itāsĀ heavierĀ nowĀ ;Ā moreĀ solemnĀ .Ā mattyĀ canātĀ tellĀ ifĀ itāsĀ theĀ alcoholĀ makingĀ hisĀ headĀ spinĀ ,Ā orĀ theĀ dizzyingĀ affectĀ ofĀ hisĀ yearningĀ forĀ somethingĀ familiarĀ . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ doorsĀ slideĀ closedĀ ,Ā andĀ nowĀ heāsĀ leftĀ toĀ stareĀ atĀ theirĀ reflectionsĀ inĀ theĀ steelĀ wallsĀ ofĀ theĀ elevatorĀ .Ā itĀ doesnātĀ matterĀ whereĀ hisĀ gazeĀ dartsĀ nextĀ ,Ā itāsĀ theĀ sameĀ fuzzyĀ imageĀ ofĀ mikeyĀ andĀ himĀ rightĀ thereĀ .Ā evenĀ whenĀ heĀ closesĀ hisĀ eyesĀ ,Ā itāsĀ thereĀ .Ā heĀ canātĀ getĀ itĀ outĀ ofĀ hisĀ headĀ ,Ā andĀ heāsĀ notĀ sureĀ heĀ evenĀ wantsĀ toĀ .Ā heĀ liftsĀ hisĀ headĀ upĀ ,Ā squintingĀ atĀ theirĀ hazyĀ reflectionĀ .Ā mikeyāsĀ lookingĀ atĀ himĀ nowĀ Ā ,Ā butĀ mattyĀ doesnātĀ wantĀ toĀ meetĀ hisĀ gazeĀ āĀ itāsĀ onlyĀ goingĀ toĀ makeĀ itĀ hurtĀ worseĀ .Ā butĀ temptationĀ getsĀ theĀ betterĀ ofĀ himĀ eventuallyĀ ,Ā headĀ turningĀ toĀ makeĀ eyeĀ contactĀ ,Ā eyesĀ glitteringĀ withĀ aĀ kaleidoscopeĀ ofĀ emotionsĀ thatĀ heĀ canātĀ quiteĀ controlĀ .Ā Ā heāsĀ afraidĀ ofĀ himselfĀ āĀ afraidĀ ofĀ whatĀ heāllĀ doĀ orĀ whatĀ heāllĀ sayĀ nextĀ .Ā mattyĀ hasĀ enoughĀ self - awarenessĀ toĀ knowĀ thatĀ heĀ doesnātĀ makeĀ theĀ worldāsĀ mostĀ fantasticĀ decisionsĀ . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ allĀ thatĀ comesĀ outĀ isĀ aĀ smallĀ ,Ā Ā āĀ thankĀ youĀ .Ā āĀ andĀ nowĀ heāsĀ leftĀ toĀ overthinkĀ theĀ utteranceĀ ,Ā wonderingĀ ifĀ heĀ hadnātĀ saidĀ enoughĀ ,Ā orĀ ifĀ heĀ shouldāveĀ justĀ leftĀ theĀ silenceĀ toĀ lingerĀ someĀ moreĀ .Ā hisĀ thoughtsĀ areĀ soonĀ interruptedĀ asĀ theĀ doorsĀ peelĀ openĀ onceĀ againĀ ,Ā andĀ heāsĀ lettingĀ outĀ aĀ breathĀ ofĀ reliefĀ ,Ā waitingĀ forĀ mikeyĀ toĀ makeĀ aĀ moveĀ forwardsĀ beforeĀ heĀ evenĀ attemptsĀ toĀ ,Ā handĀ slungĀ overĀ hisĀ shoulderĀ makingĀ aĀ grabbingĀ motionĀ ,Ā subconsciouslyĀ searchingĀ forĀ mikeyāsĀ ownĀ .Ā heĀ wantsĀ toĀ holdĀ hisĀ handĀ āĀ heĀ wantsĀ somethingĀ familiarĀ .Ā heĀ doesnātĀ wantĀ toĀ feelĀ likeĀ heāsĀ justĀ drunkĀ andĀ mikeyāsĀ justĀ beingĀ aĀ goodĀ personĀ byĀ helpingĀ himĀ (Ā evenĀ thoughĀ thatāsĀ exactlyĀ theĀ caseĀ )Ā .Ā heĀ wantsĀ mikeyĀ toĀ loveĀ himĀ againĀ .Ā Ā āĀ giveĀ meĀ yourĀ handĀ .Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā maybe if they'd talked about it THEN, they'd have a better idea of what they owe each other now ā but they didn't, letting silence stretch between them so long that it eventually sounded like enough of an answer. but mikey hadn't wanted silence to be his answer, the solution, the reason : not then, not NOW. it only still lingers as an unwanted answer because he made a promise to himself that he wouldn't PUSH, pushing is the reason they ended up here, on opposite sides instead of next to each other where they belong ( or that could just be the prettiest lie he tells himself now ). he still believes that now, matty's body leaching heat from him, his thumb idly brushing circles into the dip just above matty's hip. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ( thank you ā ). Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā mikey doesn't know what to say to that, caught in the depths of matty's eyes. he could read them so EASILY, once ; maybe he still can, but the translation is muddied with things like emotion ā it's easy just to see what he wants. ( but what if just maybe it's not his imagination ?? ).
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā he pulls his gaze away without an answer, believing that anything he says will feel like an overstep now. silence : an answer yet again. but he has matty solidly in his grasp still, and after a moment, reaches up to grab matty's wrist again at his request. not perfectly what matty requested, but the angle is awkward and mikey's slowly coming back down to REALITY the closer they get to his apartment ā a mixture of both the last of the alcohol making it out of his system and the torturous MEMORY of what happened last time they were both within those walls. mikey's never been one to dwell on the past, but that's all he seems to have been doing the past couple months, replaying that night over and over and over in his waking hours and SLUMBERING ones ā and sometimes worse came the dreams where he didn't push matty away and he didn't leave only to wake up alone and remember that he had. there's a bitter irony to this, to them returning TOGETHER now.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā he has to drop his hand from matty's wrist once they get to his door, fumbling for a moment in his pocket to retrieve his key and unlock the door. a moment later, a second to carefully guide matty over the raised threshold and they are finally inside, the door swinging closed with a quietĀ click to trap them between the physical walls of their own world and not just the ones in their minds. it's only when they're lingering in his living room, the darkened kitchen visible thanks to an OPEN layout, that mikey realizes just how LITTLE of aĀ plan he had ( how UNPREPARED he had been to see matty within this space again, even drunk out of mind and only partially mentally present ). it takes an extreme force of will to pull away from matty, one hand still lingering on his shoulder ( for support, obviously ). Ā Ā " can i ā " Ā Ā his throat feels so dry. he swallows and tries again. Ā Ā " can i get you anything ?? ā water ?? "
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glassfmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ pastĀ twoĀ monthsĀ haveĀ beenĀ nothingĀ butĀ anĀ overwhelmingĀ senseĀ ofĀ homesicknessĀ withoutĀ mikeyĀ aroundĀ .Ā heādĀ sitĀ thereĀ inĀ hisĀ bedĀ ,Ā skylerĀ justĀ inĀ theĀ otherĀ roomĀ ,Ā andĀ theĀ feelingĀ wouldnātĀ stopĀ .Ā heādĀ goĀ homeĀ toĀ stratfordĀ toĀ beĀ withĀ hisĀ parentsĀ ,Ā andĀ itĀ onlyĀ madeĀ theĀ hollownessĀ worseĀ .Ā noĀ matterĀ whereĀ heĀ wentĀ orĀ whoĀ heĀ wasĀ withĀ ,Ā thereĀ wasĀ alwaysĀ aĀ senseĀ ofĀ displacementĀ inĀ hisĀ heartĀ āĀ likeĀ heādĀ beenĀ lostĀ .Ā heāsĀ gottenĀ soĀ usedĀ toĀ bearingĀ itĀ nowĀ thatĀ itĀ hardlyĀ bothersĀ himĀ anymoreĀ .Ā butĀ whenĀ mikeyĀ wrapsĀ himĀ upĀ inĀ anĀ embraceĀ ,Ā heĀ canĀ feelĀ theĀ weightĀ beingĀ liftedĀ offĀ hisĀ shouldersĀ āĀ aĀ feelingĀ thatĀ ,Ā ironicallyĀ ,Ā makesĀ himĀ tenseĀ upĀ ,Ā breathĀ catchingĀ inĀ hisĀ throatĀ asĀ mikeyĀ curlsĀ anĀ armĀ aroundĀ hisĀ waistĀ .Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ iĀ ā-Ā āĀ missĀ youĀ .Ā butĀ heĀ canātĀ bringĀ himselfĀ toĀ sayĀ itĀ aloudĀ .Ā choosingĀ insteadĀ toĀ finishĀ offĀ hisĀ sentenceĀ byĀ liftingĀ hisĀ armsĀ toĀ wrapĀ aroundĀ mikeyāsĀ neckĀ gingerlyĀ ,Ā fingersĀ threadingĀ throughĀ chocolateĀ brownĀ curlsĀ .Ā itĀ onlyĀ takesĀ aĀ fewĀ secondsĀ forĀ mattyĀ toĀ meltĀ intoĀ hisĀ touchĀ ,Ā welcomingĀ theĀ senseĀ ofĀ comfortĀ thatĀ cameĀ inĀ wavesĀ āĀ everyĀ secondĀ thatĀ passedĀ inĀ mikeyāsĀ armsĀ feltĀ anĀ additionalĀ levelĀ ofĀ serenityĀ .Ā andĀ asĀ heĀ standsĀ thereĀ ,Ā clingingĀ ontoĀ himĀ desperatelyĀ ,Ā likeĀ heādĀ neverĀ letĀ goĀ ,Ā heĀ acceptsĀ theĀ factĀ thatĀ heāsĀ absolutelyĀ screwedĀ .Ā heāsĀ neverĀ goingĀ toĀ getĀ overĀ mikeyĀ Ā ā-Ā notĀ whenĀ heāsĀ theĀ onlyĀ oneĀ thatĀ makesĀ himĀ feelĀ likeĀ thisĀ .Ā nobodyĀ elseĀ couldĀ doĀ itĀ ;Ā nobodyĀ evenĀ cameĀ closeĀ .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ theĀ momentāsĀ goneĀ tooĀ soonĀ :Ā rakingĀ hisĀ digitsĀ throughĀ mikeyāsĀ hairĀ oneĀ lastĀ timeĀ ,Ā mattyĀ finallyĀ pullsĀ awayĀ (Ā yetĀ ,Ā onlyĀ slightlyĀ .Ā heĀ canātĀ fullyĀ letĀ himĀ goĀ ā-Ā notĀ againĀ )Ā .Ā lightĀ brownĀ eyesĀ dartĀ overĀ mikeyāsĀ faceĀ ,Ā drinkingĀ inĀ everyĀ curveĀ ,Ā everyĀ featureĀ ,Ā likeĀ heādĀ neverĀ getĀ anotherĀ chanceĀ toĀ .Ā thumbĀ comesĀ upĀ toĀ brushĀ overĀ mikeyāsĀ cheekĀ ā-Ā heādĀ alwaysĀ hadĀ aĀ wayĀ ofĀ breakingĀ downĀ mattyāsĀ barriersĀ withoutĀ evenĀ tryingĀ .Ā heāsĀ notĀ likeĀ thisĀ withĀ anyoneĀ elseĀ .Ā heĀ canātĀ bringĀ himselfĀ toĀ beĀ ,Ā andĀ heĀ doesnātĀ wantĀ toĀ anywaysĀ .Ā handsĀ dropĀ toĀ mikeyāsĀ chestĀ nowĀ ,Ā gentlyĀ pushingĀ himĀ awayĀ .Ā Ā āĀ weĀ shouldĀ goĀ .Ā āĀ heĀ muttersĀ .Ā Ā āĀ iāmĀ tiredĀ .Ā āĀ thisĀ nightĀ ofĀ pushĀ andĀ pullĀ isĀ Ā drainingĀ himĀ ,Ā andĀ itāsĀ writtenĀ allĀ overĀ hisĀ faceĀ .Ā mattyĀ takesĀ aĀ stepĀ forwardsĀ ,Ā andĀ theĀ smallĀ movementĀ isĀ enoughĀ forĀ theĀ worldĀ toĀ startĀ spinningĀ againĀ ,Ā reachingĀ outĀ toĀ steadyĀ himselfĀ againstĀ mikeyāsĀ muchĀ sturdierĀ statureĀ .Ā subconsciouslyĀ leaningĀ inĀ toĀ stealĀ awayĀ someĀ bodyĀ heatĀ .Ā Ā ā  ⦠ and Ā iām Ā cold Ā . Ā ā Ā always Ā . Ā even Ā when Ā heās Ā had Ā so Ā much Ā alcohol Ā that Ā itās Ā making Ā his Ā cheeks Ā flush Ā .Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā his heart stops for a moment as matty pushes him away in favor of retreating to the building. mikey doesn't get cold ā it has always been something built in his veins, antifreeze part of his BLOOD. but matty pulls away and he suddenly feels FRIGID. his own arms go slack, dropping back to his sides. even if now that he's been reminded what it's LIKE to have matty against his chest again, better than any memory or three am figment of his imagination, there's nothing more he wants to do than to tug him back in. his throat feels too dry, words like sandpaper as they escape. Ā Ā " yeah ā " Ā Ā it's a hoarse sound, mikey now frozen to the spot haunted by the trace of matty's hands on him, through his hair, his cheek, his chest.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā it's only the sight of matty swaying again that get him to move once again ; them meeting in the middle once again as they're pressed together once again. it's not the SAME ā nothing is the SAME. he has to remember that even as he's reminding himself matty isn't leaving him yet ; that this isn't not what this is ( not right NOW anyway ). they broke up for a reason ā went radio silent for a REASON. it just feels like all the wrong reasons, no moreso then now. mikey stares at the concrete between his feet, at their shadows entwined, unable to see where matty ends and he begins. it's not fair, none of this is FAIR to either of them, but it's too late to walk back his actions the same way it had been too late to swallow back the questions that'd ENDED them in the end.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā " yeah ā " Ā Ā he says again, stronger this time but more RESIGNED at the same time. mikey grabs matty's wrist to loop his arm back around his neck and resuming the slow walk into his building. the week day night shift security guard is at the disk, if he remembers matty or remembers that he hasn't been here in MONTHS, he says nothing, just nods at mikey as he gets them both toward the elevators. Ā Ā " just a little longer, " Ā Ā he mutters for what feels like the hundredth time, jabbing at the up button set in the wall. this whole night feels like an endless cycle perpetuated by this feeling in him, this feeling toward matty that had never went away ā maybe he should admit that to himself now : he's not over matty not even close, every word to the contrary a desperate LIE. it's a RELIEF when they finally step into the elevator, finally away from prying eyes, from people with poor intentions besides THEMSELVES ā their slightly distorted reflections staring back at them. mikey lowers his eyes from himself, from the pale imitation of matty in the metal to the real thing still half in his arms.
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ššššššš š
šš: @rosestainedā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā the studio feels like HOME ; good memories suffuse this place, mixed in with sweat and long hours. heās got a foam roller wedged under one thigh, face tight as he uses his body weight to ease out the tension there.Ā Ā Ā ā that reminds me ā āĀ Ā Ā he says suddenly, gaze lifting to find ella.Ā Ā Ā ā donavan allegedly has, and i quote, āĀ Ā Ā āa brief pauseĀ as a pass is particularly uncomfortableāĀ Ā Ā ā ā a dope ass new piece ā that heās in the middle of doing the choreo for and he thinks weād be good for it. wanted me to ask you about your AVAILABILITY for a day or twoāĀ āĀ Ā Ā he rolls off the roller in favor of just lying on the hardwood of the floor, face screwing into a THOUGHTFUL look.Ā Ā Ā āĀ āwhich, he totally couldāve done himself. think heās a little scared of you, honestly. ā
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glassfmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ gentleĀ touchĀ ofĀ mikeyāsĀ fingertipsĀ toĀ hisĀ jawlineĀ makesĀ hisĀ heartĀ sinkĀ furtherĀ intoĀ hisĀ chestĀ .Ā heĀ lovesĀ himĀ ,Ā heĀ lovesĀ himĀ ,Ā heĀ lovesĀ himĀ ,Ā andĀ heĀ doesnātĀ knowĀ ifĀ itāllĀ everĀ stopĀ .Ā mattyĀ feelsĀ likeĀ heĀ couldĀ sitĀ thereĀ inĀ thisĀ painfulĀ limboĀ foreverĀ ,Ā ifĀ itĀ meansĀ heĀ getsĀ toĀ haveĀ himĀ rightĀ thereĀ .Ā theĀ lingeringĀ glancesĀ ,Ā theĀ acheĀ inĀ hisĀ chestĀ ,Ā theĀ sheerĀ volumeĀ ofĀ theĀ silenceĀ thatĀ filledĀ theĀ spaceĀ betweenĀ themĀ ā-Ā itĀ wasĀ worthĀ itĀ forĀ theseĀ coupleĀ ofĀ secondsĀ .Ā butĀ theĀ warmthĀ ofĀ hisĀ handĀ isĀ goneĀ soonĀ enoughĀ ,Ā andĀ mattyĀ feelsĀ tenĀ timesĀ colderĀ thanĀ beforeĀ ,Ā swallowingĀ hardĀ toĀ shoveĀ theĀ onsetĀ ofĀ emotionĀ downĀ hisĀ throatĀ .Ā ifĀ itĀ werenātĀ forĀ theĀ sedativeĀ buzzĀ ofĀ theĀ alcoholĀ beneathĀ hisĀ skinĀ ,Ā heĀ wouldnātĀ beĀ ableĀ toĀ handleĀ thisĀ .Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ liquorĀ āĀ aĀ realĀ blessingĀ andĀ aĀ curseĀ .Ā itĀ wasĀ numbingĀ enoughĀ untilĀ thoseĀ brownĀ eyesĀ heĀ wasĀ tryingĀ toĀ forgetĀ aboutĀ hadĀ poppedĀ upĀ toĀ rescueĀ himĀ fromĀ hisĀ ownĀ undoingĀ .Ā justĀ hisĀ luckĀ .Ā (Ā butĀ ,Ā maybeĀ aĀ smallĀ partĀ ofĀ himĀ isĀ gratefulĀ thatĀ itādĀ happenedĀ likeĀ thisĀ ā-Ā heĀ getsĀ toĀ haveĀ mikeyĀ byĀ hisĀ sideĀ oneĀ lastĀ timeĀ )Ā .Ā lettingĀ outĀ aĀ smallĀ huffĀ ,Ā hisĀ handĀ dropsĀ toĀ theĀ seatĀ ,Ā fumblingĀ withĀ theĀ seatĀ beltĀ beforeĀ heāsĀ finallyĀ freeĀ .Ā mikeyāsĀ rightĀ :Ā mattyāsĀ exhaustedĀ ā-Ā physicallyĀ andĀ emotionallyĀ .Ā ifĀ heĀ hadĀ toĀ goĀ allĀ theĀ wayĀ backĀ toĀ hisĀ placeĀ ,Ā heādĀ probablyĀ lullĀ himselfĀ toĀ sleepĀ rightĀ inĀ theĀ backseatĀ .Ā feetĀ hitĀ theĀ pavementĀ whenĀ heĀ goesĀ toĀ stepĀ outĀ ,Ā andĀ hisĀ legsĀ feelĀ likeĀ pureĀ Ā staticĀ ,Ā handĀ bracingĀ himselfĀ againstĀ theĀ cabĀ toĀ standĀ himselfĀ upĀ .Ā fourĀ stepsĀ awayĀ fromĀ theĀ vehicleĀ andĀ heāsĀ swayingĀ ,Ā wishingĀ heĀ wouldāveĀ justĀ stayedĀ putĀ untilĀ mikeyĀ climbedĀ outĀ toĀ leanĀ onĀ .Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ ā-Ā fuckĀ .Ā āĀ heĀ cursesĀ underĀ hisĀ breathĀ ,Ā holdingĀ hisĀ handsĀ outĀ inĀ frontĀ ofĀ himĀ toĀ balanceĀ .Ā hearingĀ footstepsĀ behindĀ himĀ ,Ā mattyĀ reachesĀ anĀ armĀ backwardsĀ blindlyĀ ,Ā makingĀ aĀ grabbyĀ handĀ asĀ heĀ searchedĀ forĀ someĀ stabilityĀ .Ā andĀ forĀ aĀ momentĀ ,Ā itĀ feelsĀ likeĀ nothingāsĀ changedĀ atĀ allĀ āĀ mattyĀ wasĀ stillĀ reachingĀ outĀ toĀ mikeyĀ subconsciouslyĀ ;Ā stillĀ trustingĀ himĀ .Ā (Ā andĀ stillĀ beingĀ aĀ painĀ inĀ theĀ assĀ )Ā .Ā handĀ wrapsĀ aroundĀ mikeyāsĀ forearmĀ ,Ā tuggingĀ himĀ towardsĀ himĀ ,Ā bumpingĀ theirĀ shouldersĀ togetherĀ gentlyĀ .Ā Ā āĀ holdĀ meĀ .Ā āĀ thereĀ shouldĀ probablyĀ beĀ aĀ Ā āĀ pleaseĀ āĀ sprinkledĀ inĀ thereĀ somewhereĀ ,Ā butĀ heāsĀ decidedĀ thereāsĀ noĀ timeĀ forĀ formalitiesĀ anymoreĀ .Ā turnsĀ toĀ faceĀ himĀ ,Ā cheeksĀ flushedĀ aĀ rosyĀ pinkĀ colorĀ ,Ā onlyĀ amplifiedĀ byĀ theĀ streetlightsĀ shiningĀ downĀ onĀ theĀ twoĀ ofĀ themĀ .Ā realizingĀ nowĀ ,Ā onceĀ theyāreĀ inĀ closeĀ proximityĀ ,Ā howĀ hisĀ pleadĀ hadĀ soundedĀ .Ā finallyĀ ,Ā heĀ tacksĀ onĀ ,Ā Ā āĀ ā¦Ā pleaseĀ .Ā āĀ Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā once he's sure that matty is on his way out of the taxi, mikey's scrambling out the other door. a muttered " thanks " is directed at the driver before he escapes into the calm atmosphere of the world at 2 am. distantly, he's aware of the rumble of tires against asphalt as the taxi pulls away, but his attention is caught on matty illuminated in the glow of the streetlights ( it always was, always is ). he sees matty stagger, his own steps quickening without thinking to catch up. and then matty grabs a hold of him or maybe he's reaching out with a steadying hand too, meeting him somewhere in the middle ā it's painfully ironic : the idea of them meeting somewhere in the MIDDLE.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā matty twists to face him, his fingers around his forearm and mikey shifts to mirror the grasp. they should go inside, but mikey's caught in the line of matty's pleading gaze, time SLOWING just like it always used to around him. a hand comes up again, gripping matty's shoulder for a moment before moving higher, a mirror of the backseat of the cab, fingers lining the edge of matty's jaw, his thumb sweeping over the curve of a rosy cheek. Ā Ā " yeah ā i got you, " Ā Ā murmurs mikey. he's still holding matty at an arm's length, but that's not what he wants, not even close. they've been so close all night, shoulder's bumping, hands on arms and it's not ENOUGH : just painful teasing reminders of what they once WERE, and fuck, what does anything really matter anymore ?? something gives in mikey's chest, a compounded effect of everything, of the late hour, of the meager remnants of vodka in his veins, and then he's half stepping forward to meet him, half tugging matty into the circle of his arms.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā it feels like RELIEF when matty's finally tucked close to him like he's supposed to be, the first breath after being held under water too long ( only he's been under water for TWO MONTHS ). he drops his head into the curve of matty's shoulder, an arm curling around his waist, and just breathes. it just feels so right andĀ mikey can't think about anything else : just about how matty still fits in his arms like he always has, like for a moment, it's like no time has passed at all. Ā Ā "Ā ā i got you. " Ā Ā he says again, and it feels like a promise he has no authority to give. but it's the truth : i've always got you ā even when matty didn't want it, even when mikey feels like it might tear his heart apart to do so. somewhere, he's aware they're still out in the street, the streetlight might as well have been spotlights focused on them ā but it's LATE, and mikey's sure that any interested parties would be more focused on some starlet dancing topless on a table somewhere than some quiet moment like this. or maybe that's what he tells himself as the moments skitter by and can't bear to pull away.
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diomandetmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ constantĀ Ā ššššššĀ ,Ā leviĀ findsĀ ššØš¦š¢ššš„ Ā butĀ nonethelessĀ entertainingĀ ,Ā atĀ leastĀ enoughĀ toĀ stickĀ aroundĀ afterĀ theĀ sexualĀ encounterĀ ,Ā orĀ toĀ haveĀ aĀ conversationĀ inĀ theĀ leadingĀ upĀ toĀ oneĀ .Ā ifĀ notĀ forĀ theirĀ mutualĀ Ā šš”š”šššš”šššĀ ,Ā albeitĀ purelyĀ physicalĀ ,Ā theyĀ probablyĀ wouldĀ haveĀ beenĀ goodĀ friendsĀ .Ā thoughĀ ,Ā itāsĀ likelyĀ theĀ playwrightĀ wouldĀ notĀ giveĀ himĀ aĀ Ā š¤š©š¢šÆš¤š¦Ā ,Ā givenĀ theirĀ personalitiesĀ Ā āĀ orĀ ratherĀ ,Ā mikeyāsĀ .Ā Ā āĀ notĀ likeĀ herĀ andĀ besidesĀ ,Ā youāreĀ notĀ herĀ typeĀ ,Ā āĀ heĀ interjectsĀ ,Ā leaningĀ overĀ toĀ SNATCHĀ theĀ pieceĀ ofĀ appleĀ heādĀ previouslyĀ carvedĀ ,Ā andĀ placesĀ itĀ betweenĀ hisĀ grinningĀ lipsĀ ,Ā Ā āĀ butĀ thenĀ againĀ ,Ā neitherĀ amĀ iĀ .Ā āĀ butĀ iĀ promiseĀ youĀ ,Ā youāreĀ theĀ onlyĀ personĀ iāmĀ fuckingĀ ,Ā āĀ andĀ theĀ restĀ ofĀ torontoĀ ,Ā everyĀ nowĀ andĀ againĀ .Ā heĀ knowsĀ heāllĀ takeĀ thatĀ withĀ aĀ pinchĀ ofĀ saltĀ ,Ā itāsĀ notĀ likeĀ theyĀ wereĀ Ā š¾šš¼š
ššššš¾Ā orĀ evenĀ Ā š
šššššĀ ,Ā neitherĀ hadĀ anĀ interestĀ inĀ thatĀ ,Ā theyĀ bothĀ Ā š„šØš§š ššĀ forĀ someoneĀ elseĀ .Ā Ā āĀ likeĀ iĀ saidĀ ,Ā weāreĀ notĀ datingĀ .Ā sheĀ hasĀ aĀ girlfriendĀ .Ā andĀ theyĀ tookĀ thoseĀ picturesĀ ofĀ usĀ whilstĀ sheĀ wasĀ inĀ theĀ bathroomĀ .Ā youĀ knowĀ howĀ theĀ mediaĀ ššššššĀ thingsĀ .Ā Ā āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā " mm-hmm ā " Ā Ā hums out mikey, though it sounds more like a sarcastic ' sure i am ' than a noise of agreement, the disbelief further etched out in the arch of his eyebrows as he carves off another piece of apple. exclusivity was never part of the deal ā mikey well knows that, and knows that levi well knows that. exclusivity connects too closely with caring and long term which are both words not included in the definition of whatever they are. but regardless, he's still satisfied that he's not unwittingly pulling apart some relationship. ( stella ALREADY calls him a harlot ; he doesn't think he can take her accusing him of being a homewrecking harlot too ). Ā Ā " okay ā point TAKEN, " Ā Ā mikey concedes. it's not like he has to look FAR to find evidence of just how far out of context photos and video clips can be taken by anyone with an imagination to spin. when he doesn't find it ANNOYING, mikey's almost impressed with the effort put into such things. and now that levi's confirmed his suspicious of the rumors being FALSE, he'll admit he is curious just to see how this fabricated love triangle is going to pan out. distractions in mikey's life are so welcomed right now, anything to keep certain chocolate eyes out of his mind. he stares at levi for moment with a replay of the last minute rewinding in his head, and then, just to be annoying, faux pout and all :Ā Ā Ā " ā so you DON'T think i'm beautiful ?? "
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glassfmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ acheĀ thatĀ swellsĀ inĀ hisĀ chestĀ theĀ momentĀ mikeyĀ turnsĀ awayĀ fromĀ himĀ andĀ choosesĀ toĀ hideĀ hisĀ faceĀ insteadĀ ofĀ lookingĀ atĀ himĀ isĀ almostĀ tooĀ muchĀ toĀ bearĀ .Ā mattyĀ doesnātĀ cryĀ āĀ mattyĀ neverĀ criesĀ āĀ butĀ whenĀ mikeyāsĀ Ā revealingĀ hisĀ faceĀ onlyĀ toĀ turnĀ hisĀ gazeĀ towardsĀ theĀ windowĀ ,Ā thereāsĀ anĀ unfamiliarĀ stingingĀ sensationĀ behindĀ mattyāsĀ eyesĀ .Ā heĀ leansĀ backĀ ,Ā torsoĀ hittingĀ theĀ seatĀ withĀ aĀ smallĀ thudĀ .Ā heĀ wantsĀ toĀ beĀ closeĀ toĀ himĀ ,Ā moreĀ thanĀ everĀ nowĀ ,Ā butĀ heĀ canātĀ beĀ .Ā gazeĀ turnsĀ towardsĀ theĀ carāsĀ roofĀ ,Ā swallowingĀ hardĀ asĀ heĀ willedĀ himselfĀ toĀ justĀ letĀ mikeyĀ beĀ .Ā hasnātĀ heĀ doneĀ enoughĀ toĀ himĀ Ā alreadyĀ ?Ā mattyāsĀ theĀ oneĀ whoĀ leftĀ āĀ mattyāsĀ theĀ oneĀ thatĀ justĀ threwĀ inĀ theĀ towelĀ atĀ aĀ bumpĀ inĀ theĀ roadĀ insteadĀ ofĀ stayingĀ toĀ workĀ throughĀ itĀ togetherĀ .Ā andĀ nowĀ ,Ā heĀ canĀ feelĀ theĀ guiltĀ beginningĀ toĀ clawĀ atĀ hisĀ throatĀ ,Ā jawĀ settingĀ asĀ heĀ satĀ thereĀ wallowingĀ inĀ theĀ silenceĀ thatĀ hadĀ overtakenĀ theĀ bothĀ ofĀ themĀ .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ thenĀ itĀ breaksĀ ;Ā mattyāsĀ shiftingĀ inĀ hisĀ seatĀ ,Ā mirroringĀ mikeyāsĀ stanceĀ andĀ turningĀ towardsĀ theĀ windowĀ .Ā Ā āĀ youĀ shouldĀ beĀ .Ā āĀ heĀ uttersĀ ,Ā justĀ barelyĀ aboveĀ aĀ whisperĀ .Ā mattyĀ thinksĀ heĀ deservesĀ itĀ .Ā ifĀ notĀ forĀ thisĀ ,Ā forĀ twoĀ monthsĀ agoĀ ,Ā orĀ forĀ everĀ meetingĀ inĀ theĀ firstĀ placeĀ āĀ noĀ .Ā heĀ canātĀ believeĀ theĀ thoughtĀ evenĀ slippedĀ intoĀ hisĀ mindĀ .Ā noĀ matterĀ howĀ muchĀ turmoilĀ hisĀ heartĀ hadĀ beenĀ putĀ throughĀ afterĀ theirĀ breakupĀ ,Ā heāsĀ neverĀ regrettedĀ themĀ .Ā theĀ pureĀ ,Ā unfilteredĀ happinessĀ thatĀ mikeyĀ hadĀ shownĀ himĀ ā¦Ā heĀ wasĀ betterĀ forĀ itĀ ,Ā evenĀ ifĀ itĀ wasnātĀ alwaysĀ apparentĀ .Ā thatĀ stingingĀ sensationāsĀ backĀ nowĀ ,Ā andĀ heĀ blinksĀ aĀ littleĀ quickerĀ atĀ theĀ feelingĀ ofĀ hisĀ eyesĀ gettingĀ wetĀ .Ā heāsĀ feelingĀ tooĀ muchĀ allĀ atĀ onceĀ rightĀ nowĀ ,Ā andĀ hisĀ inebriatedĀ mindĀ canātĀ keepĀ upĀ (Ā notĀ thatĀ heāsĀ theĀ mostĀ inĀ touchĀ withĀ hisĀ emotionsĀ anywaysĀ )Ā .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā asĀ theĀ carĀ pullsĀ upĀ outsideĀ ofĀ mikeyāsĀ buildingĀ ,Ā mattyĀ findsĀ himselfĀ sittingĀ backĀ furtherĀ onĀ theĀ seatĀ ,Ā armsĀ crossingĀ overĀ hisĀ chestĀ defiantlyĀ .Ā heāsĀ sensitiveĀ ,Ā andĀ nowĀ heāsĀ hurtĀ hisĀ ownĀ feelingsĀ fromĀ thinkingĀ soĀ damnĀ muchĀ .Ā maybeĀ theĀ backseatĀ ofĀ aĀ taxiĀ cabĀ isnātĀ reallyĀ theĀ bestĀ placeĀ toĀ catchĀ anĀ attitudeĀ ,Ā butĀ heāsĀ mattyĀ .Ā itĀ wasĀ boundĀ toĀ happenĀ oneĀ wayĀ orĀ anotherĀ āĀ thatĀ sournessĀ thatĀ satĀ beneathĀ hisĀ skinĀ andĀ perpetuatedĀ hisĀ constantĀ scowlĀ wouldĀ alwaysĀ findĀ aĀ wayĀ toĀ rearĀ itsĀ uglyĀ headĀ .Ā andĀ nowĀ ,Ā drunkĀ offĀ hisĀ assĀ ,Ā heĀ hadĀ noĀ chanceĀ ofĀ filteringĀ itĀ .Ā Ā āĀ youĀ sureĀ youĀ wantĀ meĀ inĀ yourĀ apartmentĀ forĀ theĀ nightĀ whenĀ youĀ canātĀ evenĀ fuckingĀ lookĀ atĀ meĀ ?Ā āĀ hisĀ voiceĀ startsĀ outĀ strongĀ ,Ā brashĀ ,Ā butĀ whittlesĀ downĀ toĀ somethingĀ crackedĀ byĀ theĀ timeĀ heāsĀ doneĀ .Ā heĀ blinksĀ ,Ā reluctantlyĀ turningĀ toĀ lookĀ atĀ mikeyĀ ,Ā eyesĀ reddenedĀ ,Ā Ā āĀ youĀ donātĀ haveĀ toĀ doĀ thisĀ forĀ meĀ anymoreĀ .Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā matty's words cut deeper than he would like. of course he has no way of knowing how desolate mikeyās apartment feels without him, how much space lingers in the shadows and how empty his bed feels at night, and how, in spite of all that, he still could never bare to bring someone else into the space like that. the problem is mikey wants matty too much ā and he's starting to think he'll always want him in whatever capacity that matty offers him. and he's trying so hard to go against every instinct that begs him to wrap himself around matty, to keep him close, that it's coming across as INDIFFERENT and DISTANT when the truth couldn't land any further from that. ( but matty sounds so upset, and that sparks hope : does he want this as much as mikey does ?? or is that just the cruel vice of alcohol doing the talking ?? ).
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā he pulls bills from his wallet, barely pausing to count it before shoving it at the driver, unsure of how to answer that in a way that won't hurt them both. but then matty is looking at him, pitiful words drawing his own attention like a magnet, and the look in his eyes is one mikey never wants to see on him again. Ā Ā Ā " matty ā i ā " Ā Ā Ā he swallows, and the urge to reach out swells up in him as strong as ever until he finally just lets himself lean into it. ( how STUPID he was to ever thing he could resist this ). he twists in the backseat, fingers come up to graze the line of matty's jaw, his hand resting gently there, gaze HELD in a way that almost feels like talons across the tissue of his heart. he can count on one hand the number of times heās seen matty cry, and now, knowing the reason is HIM sends his stomach churning, guilt girdling his chest. he never meant to hurt him, not now, not THEN.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā he doesn't know what lies in his own eyes, but he feels CAUGHT in the line of matty's gaze, incredibly stripped and raw to the point where it's nearly agonizing ; matty always did have a way of making him feel SEEN. in his head, mikey closes the space between them, love, care, truth, compounded into a single gentle kiss. but in reality he just lingers there with too little and too much space between them until common sense assaults him once again. his gaze drops away, a forceful swallow pushing the lump in his throat back down. a second later his hand follows, pulled back toward his chest. he can still feel the butterfly beat of mattyās pulse against his fingertips, eyes soon tugged back to look at himĀ because now that his walls are crumbling, he canāt resist for long. he does ā that is a TRUTH. he has to do this and he's always going to care. that's what he wants to say, maybe what he should say, but he doesn't even think he could put the way the urge to protect him, to do anything for him, into words matty will understand. instead he's simply reaching past him to pull the handle on the cab door and pushing it open, the cool night air tumbling into the car to meet the heat of the tension between them. Ā Ā " c'mon, " Ā Ā mikey says softly, Ā Ā " you're not going to make it all the way back to your place now. "
#;; matty#;; matty002#;; threads#( THISISFINE.JPG )#( i should NOT be having these emotions at 8 am )
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All I want is nothing more Than to hear you knocking at my doorā¦
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glassfmā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā mattyāsĀ notĀ theĀ typeĀ toĀ enjoyĀ casualĀ conversationĀ likeĀ thisĀ ;Ā definitelyĀ theĀ typeĀ toĀ avoidĀ itĀ atĀ allĀ costsĀ ,Ā actuallyĀ .Ā heĀ hasĀ aĀ tendencyĀ toĀ beĀ ratherĀ frigidĀ sometimesĀ .Ā butĀ mikeyĀ makesĀ itĀ feelĀ soĀ easyĀ .Ā heāsĀ half - startledĀ byĀ howĀ readilyĀ heādĀ droppedĀ downĀ hisĀ guardĀ āĀ itādĀ probablyĀ beĀ off - puttingĀ ifĀ itĀ didnātĀ feelĀ likeĀ suchĀ aĀ reliefĀ .Ā closed - lipĀ smileĀ pullsĀ onĀ theĀ cornersĀ ofĀ hisĀ lipsĀ atĀ mikeyāsĀ statementĀ .Ā mattyĀ couldnātĀ haveĀ phrasedĀ itĀ betterĀ himselfĀ āĀ somethingĀ aboutĀ himĀ feelsĀ soĀ familiarĀ evenĀ thoughĀ thisĀ wasĀ onlyĀ theirĀ secondĀ encounterĀ .Ā eyesĀ flickerĀ downĀ toĀ mikeyāsĀ handĀ asĀ heĀ adjustsĀ theĀ fabricĀ ofĀ hisĀ hoodieĀ beforeĀ meetingĀ hisĀ eyesĀ onceĀ moreĀ .Ā Ā āĀ doesĀ thatĀ meanĀ iĀ getĀ toĀ keepĀ itĀ ?Ā āĀ heĀ liltsĀ ,Ā Ā āĀ ā¦Ā untilĀ nextĀ timeĀ ,Ā atĀ leastĀ .Ā āĀ mattyĀ canātĀ quiteĀ putĀ aĀ fingerĀ onĀ itĀ ,Ā butĀ heĀ justĀ knowsĀ thereĀ willĀ beĀ aĀ nextĀ timeĀ āĀ heĀ wantsĀ thereĀ toĀ beĀ .
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā " hmmmm. maybe ā " Ā Ā mikey feigns a thoughtful look, though the effect is somewhat undermined by the smile that threatens to break through the facade. next time, next time, next time : yes there WILL be a next time, won't there ?? almost certainly if there's a reason too ( it seems they're playing at the same game in this frozen back alley behind the club ā at least mikey fervently HOPES so ). Ā Ā " only if i get something in return, " Ā Ā he says finally, an amused smile shaping around the words ā though truly, maybe matty was always going to walk out of this with his sweatshirt ; he looks cozy wrapped up in the fabric, an image mikey is loathe to destroy even after he won't be around the see it. arms cross over his chest just for the effect, brows rising to comedically punctuate his question : Ā Ā " ā a FAIR exchange, y'know ?? "
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#;; matty#;; matty001f#;; thread#( oh u KNO where this is going )#( also no worries laskdjf#pls do not look at me replying in like 2 seconds )
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nvthalieā:
she Ā pouts Ā at Ā the Ā maleās Ā defensive Ā and Ā standoffish Ā nature Ā āāā Ā heās Ā never Ā been Ā that Ā way Ā with Ā her Ā and Ā sheās Ā unsure Ā of Ā what Ā to Ā do Ā exactly Ā . Ā maybe Ā she Ā could Ā have Ā tried Ā to Ā persuade Ā her Ā mother Ā a Ā little Ā more Ā to Ā call Ā off Ā the Ā relationship  ⦠ but Ā just Ā like Ā she Ā told Ā matthew Ā , Ā it Ā would Ā never Ā work Ā . Ā once Ā the Ā womanās Ā mind Ā was Ā set Ā on Ā something Ā , Ā it Ā was Ā difficult Ā to Ā convince Ā her Ā of Ā anything Ā else Ā . Ā frowns Ā as Ā he Ā asks Ā why Ā he Ā wouldnāt Ā be Ā okay Ā , Ā knows Ā itās Ā a Ā rhetorical Ā question Ā and Ā hopes Ā that Ā he Ā doesnāt Ā make Ā her Ā say Ā it Ā again Ā . Ā it Ā was Ā hard Ā enough Ā letting Ā him Ā know Ā the Ā first Ā time Ā . Ā ā Ā are Ā you Ā sure Ā ? Ā ā Ā nat Ā asks Ā hesitantly Ā , Ā nerves Ā forcing Ā the Ā femmeās Ā teeth Ā to Ā nip Ā at Ā her Ā nails Ā . Ā ā Ā it Ā does Ā matter Ā ! Ā ā Ā nathalie Ā insists Ā , Ā as Ā she Ā follows Ā him Ā through Ā to Ā the Ā kitchen Ā , Ā a Ā small Ā smile Ā on Ā her Ā face Ā only Ā due Ā to Ā the Ā fact Ā that Ā he Ā took Ā the Ā ice Ā cream Ā from Ā her Ā . Ā ā Ā ācause Ā i Ā donāt Ā wanna Ā make Ā you Ā uncomfortable Ā , Ā i Ā didnāt Ā even Ā wanna Ā do Ā this Ā āāā Ā neither Ā of Ā us Ā do Ā , Ā our Ā managers Ā āāā Ā and Ā , Ā well Ā my Ā mom Ā , Ā just Ā said Ā some Ā shit Ā about Ā reputations Ā , Ā i Ā dunno Ā i Ā wasnāt Ā really Ā listening Ā but Ā you Ā know Ā how Ā annoying Ā she Ā can Ā be Ā . Ā ā Ā she Ā stops Ā to Ā take Ā a Ā breath Ā however Ā , Ā a Ā few Ā seconds Ā later Ā the Ā brunette Ā is Ā rambling Ā again Ā . Ā ā Ā i Ā just Ā , Ā i Ā thought Ā you Ā deserved Ā to Ā know Ā . Ā i Ā didnāt Ā want Ā you Ā thinking Ā i Ā was Ā betraying Ā you Ā , Ā especially Ā because Ā you Ā know Ā i Ā donāt Ā like Ā him Ā , Ā like Ā , Ā at Ā all Ā . Ā but Ā anyways Ā , Ā i Ā love Ā you Ā and Ā iām Ā sorry Ā and Ā if Ā you Ā really Ā hate Ā this Ā as Ā much Ā as Ā we Ā do Ā maybe Ā you Ā can Ā go Ā speak Ā to Ā my Ā mom Ā and Ā be Ā like Ā yeah Ā , Ā iām Ā not Ā down Ā with Ā this Ā . Ā ā
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā mikey knows he's being UNREASONABLE.Ā her involvement with matty fake or real or whatever, it shouldn't make a difference because they're an irrelevant equation now ( if only he truly believed that instead of repeating it like a meaningless mantra in his head ). she means well, and somewhere, he is thankful for the heads up rather than finding out from some paparazzi photo splashed across his television screen. still, the look in his eye isn't exactly FRIENDLY as he plops the ice cream down on the counter, the now clean metal spoon he was eating peanut butter off of held carefully in his mouth as he prides the lid off the container none too gently. he doesn't even go for a bowl, just stabs the spoon into the container of panda paws a bit more viciously than necessary. Ā Ā " i know ā " Ā Ā he says finally, voice SULLEN before a bitter beat of a laugh escapes his lips. Ā Ā " that's not ā "Ā Ā Ā his voice breaks off abruptly ; he doesn't even know what to SAY. it's hard to imagine how that conversation would go ā and if mikey doesn't even have a right to be upset about this in his own head, he certainly has little clout with their managers near CLUELESS to what matty and he had once HELD. the ice cream cools his temper off a little bit, the sweet taste exploding across his tongue as he stares at nath, taking in her cautious and sincere mannerisms. and he finally sighs, not quite FORGIVING but at least resigned. Ā Ā " ā like i said :Ā it doesn't MATTER ā we're not ā we're not together anymore.Ā "Ā Ā Ā itās an admirable statement, almost said like he truly believes it. and then he's going back at the container of ice cream, shoulders finally slumping as if in defeat.Ā Ā Ā " ā but thanks for the heads up or whatever. " Ā Ā
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