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william-not-lewis · 2 months ago

Text

... Was it necessary to re-tell this story?

I don't need comforting. Leave me be.

Tough, kid.

WC: 2.2k+

Tags: Angst, pain, Wilna, Rayna x William, bad parents, painful, lovers, anxiety, unloved, get together, hard times, fast paced, short, sad ending

Creds: Thank you so much to @edensrose for the angst divider as well as the astrology divider, I sincerely suggest checking her out, her dividers are so cool! I'll definitely be using them more often.

TW: Mentions of abortion and a tough family life, as well as bad parents. Proceed with caution if these are sensitive topics!

Summary: Rowen decides he wants to host a get together and decides to invite family as well as friends. Unfortunately for William, this wasn't the greatest idea.

Tagging: @light-of-the-room @twoandahalfdimes @rambling-tam (ya'll are my go to motivators <33) - let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist! <3

Author's note: This is super heart-wrenching to type out, lol. Let me know if it was a good read or not!! Reblogs are much appreciated :0 sending love to everyone <33

William huffed, watching Rowen pace restlessly around their flat. Rayna sat opposite William with a small smirk on her face.

“Why are we throwing a party, again?” William inquired, vexed by the fact that he had to socialise, “You two are already enough for me.” He muttered.

Rowen rolled his eyes, glancing at William, “It’s not a party, it’s a get-together. All of our friends and family will be there.”

Rayna raised an eyebrow. “Our family?”

“Our parents.” Rowen confirmed over his shoulder as he adjusted the chairs, “Damn it, I can’t get these chairs to be straight.” He muttered.

“Who cares?” Rayna scoffed, “People will sit in them anyway.”

“Our parents?” William sat up suddenly, staring at Rowen with furrowed brows.

“That’s… what I said.”

“Yes, I know.” He whispered, before lying back in his seat and covering his face with his hand, seemingly in thought.

“You alright?-” Rayna sat forward in concern.

“I’m fine.” William snapped. He sounded far more aggressive than he would’ve liked to.

She sighed and turned the other way, clenching her jaw as she looked to Rowen, “What are you going to wear?” She queried with an emotionless expression, although it was clear she was irritated.

Rowen watched her struggle, his brow furrowing in concern, however the glare that she was giving him told him not to comment on it, “I’ll… probably just wear a white button up.” He shrugged.

Rayna nodded slowly, “Well what am I supposed to wear?” She asked.

He shrugged, “I don’t know, a dress or something?”

“I don’t have any dresses, and even if I did, all of my clothes are in the wash.” She murmured, rubbing her forehead.

William glanced up at her, feeling frustrated as well as sympathetic towards her, “Wear my clothes.” He offered, a small, forced smile on his face.

Rayna really wanted to punch him in the face, but how could she? He was too nice sometimes, even when there was tension between them, “Fine.” She slowly stood up, rolling her eyes, pretending to be reluctant. However the speed at which she strode towards his room said otherwise.

William chuckled, “I’ll be back.” He promised Rowen, who simply nodded in response, watching as his friend walked after Rayna.

In his room, he watched her rummage through his wardrobe, picking out a white shirt, a tie, and some black trousers.

“No blazer?” He raised a brow.

She looked towards him with a deadpan expression, “Seriously?”

William huffed out a laugh, “Continue.”

Rayna placed the clothes on the bed, taking off her t-shirt and putting her arms through the armholes of the shirt, buttoning it up.

William watched her, unfazed by the amount of skin that was on display. He’d seen it all before, anyway.

As she finished, she pulled her pajama trousers off of her legs, and put on the more formal ones.

This time, William thought it would be respectful to turn away, and so he did. After all, he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. after a few seconds, his eyes were opened by curiosity as she sighed, “What’s wrong?” He questioned.

“I can’t tie a tie.” She murmured.

He laughed at that, “But you wear them all the time.” He said, almost teasingly.

“Mine are different to yours…”

He sighed, beckoning her over with his finger. As she approached, he took the tie from her, wrapping it around her neck and tying it for her, his hands working quickly.

She closed her eyes as she felt his hands brush against her neck every once in a while, fidgeting with her hands as his breath fanned across her face. It smelled faintly of herbal tea, something he drank every morning.

As he finished tying it around her neck, he looked at her, “You don’t look half bad.” He said gently, “I need to get ready now, the guests will be here soon.” Little did she know, however, that his heart was pounding in his chest, his throat was closing up with anxiety, and his eyes were full of worry. If only she could’ve seen it.

She nodded, smiling back at him as he stepped back, turning to his dresser and taking out a white shirt, as well as a tie.

“Are you going to change your trousers?” She asked, tilting her head, blissfully unaware of the thoughts swirling around in his head.

He looked up at that, a spark of defiance igniting in his eyes, “These are good enough, wouldn’t you say?”

She nodded silently, to which he sighed, slipping his shirt off to reveal his sculpted torso. He was lean, a hint of definition in his muscles. A scar was now visible on his arm, usually hidden by the shirts he wore.

Rayna smiled as she watched. Everything he did had her in awe. Even the simplest of tasks, like getting changed. The way he did things mesmerised her.

He put on the shirt, buttoning it up quickly, his slender hands working their way up the buttons, before taking the tie, and tying it around his neck loosely.

“You look nice.” Rayna complimented, watching him roll his sleeves up, giving him an air of effortless grace.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, the comfortable silence putting his nerves at ease.

RING!

That silence didn’t last for long, though. As the sound of their doorbell ringing echoed in the flat, the sound of Rowen's footsteps were heard approaching the door, before finally, talking was audible.

William sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed, “I don’t know about this.” Rayna cocked her head to the side, “What, the gathering? It’ll be fine.”“You don’t understand…” He whispered softy.

“Then help me to.” She sat next to him, looking into his eyes with kindness.

He sighed, lying back on his elbows as he began, “Our… relationship is difficult.” He began, “My parents. They always had unyielding faith that I would do great things. Get married and whatnot.”

“You have done great things, what’s there to worry about?”

“For them, it isn’t enough. They want more. They’re difficult to please. I haven’t seen them in years, because every time I do, all i hear from them is criticism. They break me down, and I fear this time will be no different.” He confessed.

Her gaze softened, “Well, me and Rowen are here. If anything goes wrong, we’ll step in. I promise.”

He looked into her eyes with doubt, searching for any hint of deception, but he found none. Only sympathy and purity. Exhaling, he stood up. “Soldiers today.”

“Soldiers.” Rayna repeated, standing up beside him, “They don’t back down until the battle is won, and trust me, we’ll win. We always do.”

He smiled at that, reaching out for the door handle with hesitation.

Rayna placed her hand over his, and together, they opened the door, “You aren’t alone.” She reassured him, and together they stepped out of his room.

By now, more people had arrived. Friends and family were dotted around the place, sitting on chairs, the sofa, some were leaning against walls, but they all talked animatedly to each other, an array of foods and drinks lay on the kitchen table. All perfectly aligned in typical Rowen fashion. Everyone seemed calm, and everything seemed to be perfect. Rowen could be seen talking to one of the guests with a smile, nodding politely as the person spoke.

Instantly, William’s gaze swept across the room, landing on his parents, who were talking to each other with frowns. His mother looked over her husband’s shoulder, instantly spotting her son, causing her frown to morph into a scowl full of nothing but hatred.

William gripped Rayna's hand tightly, “Brace yourself.” He said, his breathing speeding up imperceptibly.

She nodded, feeling the clamminess of his palm, making her worry even more. It wasn’t every day that you saw William Lewis anxious. Afraid, even.

“Took you long enough.” His father murmured as they approached, “We were waiting for you.”

“Why, so that you could torment me?” He muttered, loud enough for them to hear.

His mother scoffed, “Have some respect, we’re no monsters.”

“I beg to differ…”

The tension in the room instantly spiked as his father’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t know where this came from, but it needs to stop, we raised you better than this.”

“You barely raised me at all.” William spat, gaining confidence, “You left me to my own devices, and when I didn’t need you, that’s when you came. The worst part is, you didn’t come to check on me, you came to get in my way.” But he didn’t stop there, “And when I did need you, when I was ill, when I was hurt, where were you? At the pub, getting drunk?”

His father growled, “You dare speak to us like that, boy? You have no idea what sacrifices we made. We put a roof over your head, gave you food, water, a life. We gave you everything, you were nothing without us. Nothing but a shell. A pathetic excuse for a boy. And you know what? That’s what you are. Pathetic.”

“I’m nothing of the sort.” William’s free hand clenched into a fist, “I worked hard, and you only wanted me when I did something good. You wanted the result, but you never wanted to stick around for the journey.”

His mother scoffed, turning to Rayna, “Can you believe this boy?” Her eyes flicked down to their intertwined hands, “He’s useless. Don’t waste your time on him, he’ll only let you down. That’s all he ever does. He’ll suck your heart like a leech, searching for any form of love or affection, all because he’s too weak to go on without it.”

Rayna's eyes widened in shock, “You dare speak about him like that? He is a gem, he deserves far more than you ever gave him. He can take everything I have, he can take my heart, in fact, it’s already his. He deserves far more than you… parasites. You crushed your son’s soul, and you dare speak of him as if you’re the one picking up the pieces. He deserves more than you could ever give him. You’re the ones scouring for money, for insignificant things that you’ll lose once you’re dead.”

“You’re as bad as him.” His father spat, gaining the attention of a few guests, including Rowen, who turned to watch the argument with surprise.

“She’s anything but bad, leave her out of this. She has done nothing wrong.” William stepped closer to her, as if shielding her from their words. “And I know far more about love than you think.”

Finally, his mother snapped, “You stupid, insolent boy! You know nothing about love or connections. You’ll always be a cold, emotionless machine, wishing you could be human like the rest of us. You’re unworthy of any love. You’re a bag of flesh! Pathetic, untrustworthy, heartless boy! You’re a child, you’re weak and naive. You know nothing of the world. I should’ve aborted you when I had the chance!”

William’s jaw went slack. He stared at his mother in shock. He was stunned that she could say such a thing to her own child. He was her son, and that was a fact she seemed to carry as if it were a burden. An embarrassment. He squeezed Rayna's hand tightly in attempts to hide his pain.

Rayna was stunned, she couldn’t believe that someone could be so heartless. That they could feel for someone with such pure, unfiltered loathing and detestation. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She was hurting for him, and the fact she couldn’t respond twisted the knife that had already dug itself deep into her heart.

Rowen stormed towards the group, his usual playful, bubbly demeanor had vanished, replaced by fury. It seemed he had heard enough, “He is your son, and you dare speak to him that way? You dare tell him that his life is not one worth living? That he is a waste of space? You are pathetic, completely and utterly. I cannot believe you could be so heartless. If anyone here is an unfeeling robot, it’s you. Now leave immediately. You have deeply insulted two of my closest friends, and I will not stand for it. I suggest you make your way towards the exit at once. I regret ever inviting you to this gathering. I don’t want to see you anywhere near them. And if you find yourself in a position that puts you face to face with them again, the consequences will not be as light.”

William’s parents were stunned, completely humbled. The look on Rowen's face shook them, and they could tell that he wasn’t messing around. They quickly nodded, turning towards the exit and leaving, his father muttering under his breath.

The guests too were horrified by the events that had just taken place, but William could stand it no longer, as he quickly rushed into his room, slamming the door closed.

Rowen and Rayna looked at each other, deeply concerned for their companion, “Check on him.” Rowen ordered.

Rayna had never seen her friend so serious, and she quickly made her way towards William’s bedroom without question.

Knocking on the door, she waited patiently for a response, but heard none. With a sigh, she slowly opened the door, stepping into his room and closing the door behind her.

William sat on his bed, his head in his hands, his breathing laboured.

Her own breath hitched, watching William sob gently into his hands. She reached out, as if to touch him, but hesitated.

He looked up at her with teary eyes as he whispered shakily, “I fear I’m not that strong of a soldier.”

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