willywonkasbitchfactory

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

new DB Cooper theory: he went up

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

Someone hit me with their car and I got isekai'd to a world that's really similar to my old one except in this one my collarbone is mysteriously broken

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

This website is so so so good

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

It's actually funny how humans decided "fuck living in caves with all these creepy crawlies", got out of caves, built houses that have all the nice parts of a cave without any of the yucky parts, and then all the little bugs and spiders and other creepy crawly creatures that used to also live in caves thought "sweet, new and improved caves" and moved right back in with us.

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

i’m so genuinely lucky to be dumb as hammers. the simplest things bring me joy. i’ve had several fits of passionate laughing out loud today because i can’t stop thinking of the phrase “one william dollars”

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

its so sweet to me whenever a reconstruction of a neanderthal's face shows up on social media and people are like "oh they would have loved minecraft" "they would have loved weed brownies" it's so sweet. i hope that continues on to the next stage of human evolution. i want whoever comes next to dig me up, reconstruct my face, and for the girlbloggers of this far-flung civilization to go "duuuude she would have loved churfing back a freefing zarbee"

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

CNN suggested that Luigi Mangione stage a boycott instead of what he did. a boycott of the health care industry. exercising my right to protest by fucking dying.

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

my partner is only 40 but nestled within him is the soul of an elderly man

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

Cybertruck blew up outside Trump's hotel in Vegas. Wild footage, I've never seen an EV flat-out detonate like that and I'm thinking that it wasn't the battery.

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

not all have emojis but

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

Starting twin peaks

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

[willywonkasbitchfactory]

What even is smh is it smell my hair