It would seem that there is in fact a way to force an evolution of your Eevee. The Eevee Brothers from the original anime were named Rainer, Pyro, Sparky and they owned a Vaporeon, Flareon and Jolteon respectively. If you nickname your Eevee either Rainer, Pyro or Sparky, your Eevee will evolve into that desired Eeveelution!
Say what you will about Vernon Dursley, but you have to admire his sheer commitment to avoidance. He was willing to straight up go off the grid just to keep his nephew out of magic school. He sacrificed sanity, sweat, and mustache hairs in a fruitless attempt to stop letters from arriving. What a persistent son of a bitch.
On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face.