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Ngl blocking people who have never interacted with you and have no reason to ever do so feels wonderful. Like...I don't like your vibes, so I choose to never see you again and also you don't get to see my blog. Bye bitch <3

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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hate having an uncommon phobia cause i get jumpscared so often

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my muffins are going down really well!!

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OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT!!! NEW CLOHO EPISODE TONIGHT!

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my babies post oven

my babies pre oven

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was listening to riptide while baking which was very silly because it meant i was laughing my ass off at gillion slapping bald men's heads while i was putting the muffins in the oven

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my babies pre oven

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i must not stir the pot. stirring the pot is the notifications-killer. participation in the discourse is the little-death that brings total activity obliteration. i will face the bad opinions on the internet. i will permit them to pass over me and through me. and when they have gone past, i will turn the block button onto their source. where the discourse has come from there will be nothing. only i will remain.

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I don’t believe tsw*ft is a revolutionary or even interesting artist but she *is* the only artist who has her own folder on my phone dedicated to lyrics that make me incandescent with rage so from a perverse conceptual perspective I guess something is working

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Jesus was the first cult leader who claimed to be Jesus. Admittedly, he was right.

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it's taken me two hours to get the right amount of blueberries for these goddamn muffins by the way. TWO HOURS

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You're a royal attendant slowly realising that you've lost track of which of the young princess' numerous anti-assassination body doubles is the real one. The royal portraits are so idealised that they look nothing like her, so you can't figure it out that way, and the Queen is a shitty absentee mom who doesn't remember what her own daughter looks like and routinely gets them mixed up, so she'd be no help even if you dared to ask. None of them will break character. You're beginning to suspect they're doing this on purpose.

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I procrastinate so much that I have a gaping hole of dread inside my chest where I think my other emotions are supposed to go. unless a potential employer is reading this, in which case I don’t do that & I have all the normal emotions that human beings have & I love capitalism

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guess what. corner shop didn't have any so i had to go all the way to the other co-op (the first one i went to only had one lot left, which was the first ones i bought)

damn. didn't buy enough blueberries