witchyace00

[witchyace00]

it’s been seven years since i’ve held hands with someone in a romantic manner and i just realized that i really miss that feeling of closeness and intimacy, and how vulnerable i would feel. it just felt good, and i miss that.

it’s hard for me to think about using dating apps to meet people, considering my asexuality and just my personality as a whole, so i’ve never tried. and it’s nearly impossible to meet queer people in my province just out and about. it doesn’t help that i’m naturally introverted as well.

i also only have one platonic relationship right now, and i feel that i put too much effort into it while the other person doesn’t most of the time. so that makes life more difficult as well, as i find it hard even to make those connections. so i’m like…i dunno. mostly i don’t feel lonely, until i get too into my head about it. or late at night some nights i’ll feel lonely if i think about the past.

why are human connections so difficult?

[witchyace00]

happy valentine’s day + update 💌

went to my NP today and i have “mostly likely a viral infection” from my sinus infection (which was most likely viral). i have been given a steroid puffer, steroid nasal spray, and told to do sinus rinses. hopefully this helps lmao. i also called out of work for tonight, might go tomorrow night but we’ll see what happens.

also from this appointment was a fun update to my attempts to get a breast reduction. i’ve been trying to do this since 2021 to no avail, aside from getting approved by my province for it. the surgeon that initially approved me has since stopped working and no surgeon will do the surgery on me since i’m above a BMI of 30 (as there are higher risks involved when you’re above that). i’ve gone to a dietician, made lifestyle changes (not as many as i should have, but made changes nonetheless). i’ve been at the same weight for over 4 years now, so i’m obviously not gaining weight (maintaining is better than nothing). so what do we do now, you might ask?

social work! yay.

my NP suggested maybe talking about it to a social worker (who we tried to meet today but she was on the phone) as there’s a mental component to obesity/weight gain/troubles losing weight. you know, you’re stressed or depressed or anxious and your cortisol levels increase thereby resulting in easier weight gain. so, she’s thinking that by having me talk to this social worker that it might help things?

i’ll try anything but i guarentee that, unless she can get past whatever mental block i have that’s keeping me from being more active, it won’t do anything for me. i’m not depressed or anxious, i don’t have mental health issues in general. i’m usually not stressed — in fact, the only thing that stresses me out is related to this breast reduction and being unable to do it, ironically enough! anyways, we have yet to make an appointment as they haven’t called me yet but i’ll try it out and see how it goes…

anyhow. that’s about all i have for now and i’d say that’ll be it for the rest of the day. i’m officially doing nothing else today, and honestly might take a nap because i still barely slept last night (definitely got a few hours).

later days 😷

[witchyace00]

a very delayed update to that last post because i have in fact only gotten sicker over the last…however many days it’s been. i guess 12 now?

so, my cold (which caused me to call out on that fateful Saturday) was mild enough for me to work on Sunday, but then got worse and worse resulting in what i believe to have been a sinus infection. i then had to call out of work for my shifts on Wednesday and Thursday due to the immense pain and discomfort that arose from this ailment.

and then somehow i felt almost normal on Friday and Saturday. hell, i even went shopping with my mother on Friday (only a quick trip to get groceries but still, i left the house and didn’t feel like shit). and then Sunday rolls around and i have a sore throat yet again.

and then i’m back to working night shifts starting on Monday night. i didn’t sleep a wink during the day on Monday, coughed my entire shift at work, didn’t sleep a wink on Tuesday, coughed all night Tuesday night, and didn’t sleep at all Wednesday during the day. i attempted to drug myself with Benadryl to sleep Wednesday night, but that was even unsuccessful.

then i wake up this morning to the familiar sound of crackles in my lungs — something i had met in September of 2022, when i had my first bout of pneumonia in adulthood. at one point this morning it felt difficult to breathe, so i decided to call my doctors office. thankfully they booked me in for the morning, but that’ll only do me good if the office is open tomorrow since it’s currently storming out (perfect time to get pneumonia!) and i’m supposed to work tomorrow night, as well as Saturday and Sunday night.

so now i’m all worried that i’ll have to call out for more shifts and look like an even bigger asshole, even though my coworkers can all tell that i’m clearly still sick. hell, i had to tape report at the end of my night shifts and i’m sure it sounded horrible with my hoarse voice and coughing.

it’s just frustrating working in healthcare when there’s the expectation for you to take care of patients while being sick yourself. i know people say that you shouldn’t have to worry about that and just to take time off when you’re sick, but it’s hard especially with being in an smaller hospital. i know i won’t get any better if i keep pushing myself to work, but it’s just hard to keep calling in sick, even more so in such a close time frame.

anyways, hopefully my appointment doesn’t get cancelled tomorrow. i’ve been sick for 12 days now, i’ve had to reschedule a tattoo appointment, nearly threw up at work the other night from coughing so much, and can’t do anything on my days off because i’m so drained. and now i can’t even sleep. so yeah, that’s how life has been so far in February. the only bright part of this week is a new episode of Dexter: Original Sin and the first two episodes of YellowJackets, both of which are coming out tomorrow. otherwise these past couple of weeks have been generally horrendous and i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

it’s just ridiculous — how do i go from having a cold to having sinusitis to now (probably) having pneumonia?? i don’t know how i manage…plus i was sick in January too! oh my god.

anyhow, maybe i’ll update tomorrow or maybe i’ll update weeks from now once i’m feeling like a real human being. it’s hard to say. hopefully i actually sleep tonight, or else i might murder someone while i’m out at my appointment tomorrow.

later days 🤧

[witchyace00]

today was my second time ever calling out of work (first time was the end of October when we put down our dog) and i’ve been at this job since August 2024. and, of course, the DoN gets my coworkers to call me at 4pm today to see if i was coming for my shift tomorrow (something that never happens when my coworkers call in sick). i was like wtf?!

and like i wasn’t dying but i am actually sick, and last time i was sick (beginning of January) i just suffered through it and went to work, which sucked ass and i felt like passing out the whole day. so i was like nah i’m not going today but i’ll go Sunday if i feel OK. it’s just weird to me that this is my second ever sick call and that’s how management reacts?

on another note, i’m supposed to go to the movie i mentioned in a different post with my friend on Monday so i’m hoping i’m still feeling good that day. i had a sore throat yesterday but not today, but i have a slight cough and just generalized fatigue so we’ll see. i’m pretty sure i’ll still go unless i’m like literally stuck in bed. i’ll have to be dying to skip that movie (it was literally a dream of my childhood self to see Prisoner of Azkaban in theatres)

anyhow that’s basically how my day was today. i did in fact spend the last two days watching the High School Musical movies which felt worthwhile lol. and i made a puppet, but still need to make arms and maybe legs so he’s not done yet. it’s just a basic one with no foam but he’s cute lol

later days ✌️

[witchyace00]

today was oh so very long and full of a lot of (not so) fun things. yet somehow i still only managed to walk 6656 steps (aka 4.26km), despite not having a supper break and leaving fifteen minutes late. i guess our hospital is small so that makes a difference. and i won’t have to train anyone tomorrow apparently so at least i have that going for me.

i really can’t believe i still have to survive tomorrow though like fuuuuck.

[witchyace00]

i had such a long day at work and i have to go for two more days nooooooo (they’re 12 hour shifts)

it wasn’t the worst, it could’ve been much busier, but i got suprised with having to train someone who apparently is going to be with me for the next two days as well. i don’t like when that big of a change happens so abruptly — they were literally like “okay here’s __ he’s gonna be with you for the rest of the day” like wow okay thanks for telling me??

hopefully i’m just overthinking it and the next couple days will be perfectly fine but i feel like it’ll just be so tiresome

on another, more fun note…

i realized today that Subaru is doing the badge of ownership in Canada now?! so i ordered one of those for myself (and got my mum to do it too). when i got my car in 2021 i found out about it but back then they only did it in the US so i just forgot about it. but yeah i’m excited about that!

also apparently one of our locally owned theatres is doing showing of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in February and i’m really tempted to go because i’m off that day. like fuck JK but that was one of my favourite movies growing up and i’d love to see it in theatres so i’m conflicted… i’m gonna see if my sister or my (1) friend are working to see if anyone would even be able to come with me. otherwise maybe i’ll go alone, who knows

that’s all i’ve got for today. later days ✌️

[witchyace00]

i rewatched the Paddington movies today and oh my god he’s so cute!! i cried during both, which isn’t surprising because i cry at a lot of movies/tv shows. i will definitely be going to see the new movie once it comes to theatres and i’ll probably cry during that too lmaoo

also on the topic of Paddington, i have a Paddington bear in my car that drives around with me (i got him because i felt lonely going shopping and doing errands alone). i 10/10 recommend getting a Paddington if you feel lonely, he’s helped tremendously

[witchyace00]

heyyy first post on this sideblog! i don’t anticipate anyone following this blog or ever really reading any of this stuff, but i want to do a little intro post regardless.

my name is mickey, i’m 24 years old, and i don’t really know what else to say haha. i’m a registered nurse (medical and palliative care) and work full-time doing that. i’m an ace lesbian, as well as *probably* autistic (not diagnosed, but yeah, 5 years of research and peer reviews points to it being quite probable). i love movies, books, music, thrifting, and crafting — just to name a few interests.

i don’t really have any friends and, although i love my parents and siblings, there’s a lot of things that i don’t feel comfortable talking to them about. or just stuff that i feel like they wouldn’t care to listen to me rant about. so this is where this blog comes into play.

i think i’m gonna use this blog to talk about my thoughts, maybe to quickly review movies/books and stuff like that. just really anything that i want to talk about but feel i can’t say to people in my life.

anyways, i won’t be putting tags on any of my posts (at least not meaningful ones) but if anyone does end up reading this or finding this blog and wants to stick along then feel free! it’s not gonna be anything monumental, and i’m not particularly funny/witty so my posts won’t be that comedic in nature. but if there’s something you like then feel free to stick around.

i guess that’s pretty well it for this post. onto whatever randomness ensues ✨