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[to any deity in particular]: Hi. I’ve brought shitty alcohol, two electric candles, a chocolate bar, my many issues, and an undying love for you. Can you help me un-fuck myself?

[deity]: sighs deeply

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honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

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“Do I look like I eat bugs?!”

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Useful Witchy Stuff from “The Last Days of Pompeii”

Book by Bulwer-Lytton

Notes on the book

So, Bulwer-Lytton is a pretty famous author, apparently. I had to Google him. Anyways, he’s coined many phrases like “the pen is mightier than the sword..

These are just my notes which I decided to type up so they’re easier to read. Feel free to use them as a book project, I couldn't give less of a fuck.

Latin phrases

Cave canem (beware of dog)

Canes (the lowest throw of dice. Snake eyes?)

Ha bet! (he has got it!)

Non sum qualis eram (I am not what I was)

Salue enterneum (goodbye forever

The Blind Flower Girl’s Song

“Buy my flowers-to buy-I pray!

The blind girl comes from afar;

If the earth be as fair as I hear them say,

These flowers her children are!

Do they her beauty keep?

For they are fresh from her lap, I know;

For I caught them fast asleep

In her arms an hour ago.

With the air which is her breath-

Her soft and delicate breath-

Over the, murmering low!

On their lips her soft kiss lingers yet,

And their cheeks with her tender tears are wet.

For she weeps- that gentle mother weeps-

(as morn and night her watch she keeps,

With a yearning heart and a passionate care)

To see the young things grow so fair;

She weeps-for love she weeps;

And the dews are the tears she weeps,

From the well of a mothers love!

*note that there’s more to this and all, I’m just not going to type it. Use as an ode to the goddess you honer while planting. I suppose the “blind” part isn’t mentioned in this half.

Evening Hymn

“Through the summer night, through the weary day,

We have all gilded long;

Ere we speed to the Night though her portals grey.

Hail us with song,

With song, with song

 With a bright and joyous song;

Such as the Cretan maid,

While the twilight made her bolder,

Woke, high through ivy shade.

Bacchic Hymns to the Image of Death

“Thou art in the land of the shadowy hose,

Thou that didst drink and love:

By the Solem river, a gliding ghost,

But thy thought is ours above!

If memory yet can fly,

Back to the golden sky,

 And mourn the pleasures lost!

By ruin’d hall these flowers we lay,

Where thy soul once held it's palace:

When the ose to thy scent and sight was gay,

 And the smile was in the chalice,

And Cithara silver voice

Could bid thy heart rejoice

 When night eclipsed the day,

Death, death is the gloomy shore

 Where we all sail-”

* Use to honor the dead, I suppose. Interpret it however.

[witchybirdie-blog]

By the way, a cautionary tale

If you find a bunch of bones that are A: untouched and B: supernaturally clean, there is definitely a reason for both of those things. Sometimes that reason is ants. Sometimes those ants are fire ants. Sometimes those fire ants have made a nest over the entire three meter area around those bones

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if you can’t read yo’self, how in the hell are you gonna read somebody else? can i get an amen!

read yo’self /ri:d/ /yo:self/ (verb)

to stare at one’s self and compliment one’s self on how powerful one’s beauty is, ya feel me?

to interrupt one’s self-conscious thoughts and be your own god damn best friend

number two is probably my most favourite thing to do. you know when those bad thoughts be creepin’, you just got to read yo’self. don’t play yourself like that, snap out of it. i know it feels like it just happens and you’re not in control and in a way you’re right. you do have a voice in your head. she/he is your friend girl, your partner in crime. they ain’t tryin’ to hate on you! hell no.  

top tip: always follow step two with step one, darling. you don’t even need a mirror to do it. stare at your soul, girl. that’s your true self. it’s important you see him/her.

to apply for the librarian position and receive your first wage of 1,000 self-love points, please reblog and read yo’ glorious self in the comments 

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“Sweet mother, I cannot weave — slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl.” - Sappho (tr. Diane Rayor)

twitter / ig / prints

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Alternatives to “Blessed be”

Not every witch is comfortable with the phrase “blessed be” being used towards them for a number of reasons, the most common ones being that they don’t wish to have your specific deity’s attention drawn towards them, and they’re not following the same religion as you or even a religion at all. It’s a polite thing to avoid doing in general, but especially if the other person has voiced their discomfort with it. Instead you can use:

“Farewell”

“To your health” 

“Merry met”

“Until we meet again”

“Until then”

“Pleasant travels”

“Merry journey”

“Good health to you”

“Good fortune to you”

“Love and light”

“Until our paths cross again”

“Happiness to you and yours”

“Fair winds”

“May your journey be swift”

“Well met”

“May the winds carry you safely”

“May your forge burn bright”

“Go with peace and love”

“Guidance and clarity find you”

“Sweet water and light laughter till we next meet” 

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okay but imagine bees with tiny flower crowns

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human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit

monkey brain: absolutely not. die

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🔮Tea Leaf Magick. I am not much into reading tea leaves because I didn’t know how. But this looks like a promising way to try and learn

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I was on the subway today, and when the train got delayed, this little kid was like, “fuck,” and a literal chorus of grown-ups went: “HEY.”

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Anyone want a warm weather chant?

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Tarot cheat sheet

Major Arcana

The Fool-Beginnings, Risks The Magician- Actions, manifestations The High Priestess- Hidden knowledge, Secrets The Empress- Resources, Abundance The Emperor- Boundaries, Order The Heirophant- Education, Lessons, Unity The Lovers- Love, decisions The Chariot- Progress, determination Strength- Managing situations, endurance The Hermit- Searching, analysis The Wheel of Fortune- Fate, Luck Justice- Decisions, Balance The Hanged Man- Waiting, sacrifice Death- Transformation, Rebirth Temperance- Negotiation, common ground The Devil-Restrictions, Indulgence The Tower-Unexpected failure, breakdowns The Star- Hope and guidance The Moon- Anxiety and deep emotions The Sun- Growth, Recovery Judgement- The past, second chances The World- Success, completion

Minor Arcana

Cups- Water Element, “I feel”- How emotions rule over and work within the meanings of the cards.

Ace- Love, Beginnings Two- Partnerships Three- Celebration Four- Boredom, longing Five- Loss, sadness Six- Peace, reconciliation Seven- confusion, possibilities Eight- Departure, leaving behind Nine- A wish coming true, contentment Ten- Happiness, family Page- Opportunities, Chances Knights- Emotional and dreamy influence Queen- Intelligent and intuitive influence King- Charismatic and Wise influence

Pentacles- Earth Element, “I have”- How possessions rule over and work within the meanings of the cards.

Ace- Money, success, beginnings Two- Decisions, balancing finances Three- Showing talents, chances Four- Stability, hiding Five- Financial loss, chasing Six- Generosity, supporting Seven- Potential with work Eight- Money coming, building success Nine- Comfort, success Ten- Inheritance, something lost Page- An offer Knight- A dependable influence Queen- A genorous influence King- A prosperous influence

Swords- Air Element, “I think”- How thoughts rule over and work within the  meanings of the cards.

Ace-  Success Two- Stalemate Three- Heartbreak Four- Rest, overwhelmed Five- Conflict Six- Leaving conflict behind Seven- Theft of positivity Eight- Restriction Nine- Anxiety Ten- Endings Page- Intelligence, alertness Knight- A opposing influence Queen- An independent influence King- A strong willed influence

Wands- Fire Element, “I desire”- How desires rule over and work within the meanings of the cards.

Ace- News, beginnings, fertility Two- Making plans Three- Travel Four- Freedom, rest Five- Stong opinions, fights Six- Victory Seven- Work, effort Eight- News, attack Nine- Stress, suspicion, strength Ten- Burdened, work Page- A message, understanding Knight- A motivational influence Queen- A creative influence King- An expressive influence

[witchybirdie-blog]

✨⚔️☕️ Done-Fucking-Around Coffee Charm ☕️⚔️✨

This is a simple little charm I use to enchant my morning coffee to help me defeat the day, be productive and kick ass. 

YOU’LL NEED:

☕️ a beverage 

💎a crystal connected to your goal for the day (I use blue goldstone or substitute my mini blue glitter jar for creativity)

DO THE CHARM

⚪️ set the crystal down next to the cup to charge the brew

⚪️ pour or stir clockwise while brewing to attract productive energies

⚪️ repeat an incantation a few times while brewing. This is mine:

“I am a writer & I am done fucking around. I am a writer & I get shit done.” 

⚪️ make sure the incantation is short, simple, and makes you feel like a badass (this is why so many of mine include swearing). It could just be “Today I’m going to [goal or task] and I’m done fucking around.”

⚪️ that’s it! drink up and have a productive day.

TAKEAWAY TWEAKS for when you’re buying rather than brewing.

⚪️ slip the crystal under the edge of the saucer

⚪️ or hold the crystal in your hand under the take away cup

⚪️ if there’s a place to stir, do. You can run your finger clockwise around the rim, or skip it altogether.

⚪️ say the incantation under your breath (if it’s noisy) or in your head (if it’s quiet)

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