wizeardmanteis - Tumblr blog

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came upon a shrine today

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aaha !!

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rain again today =____=

however a stream has formed !!:0

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look what i saw at the bookstore !! what an odd creature…

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one of the favorite games

Granny from The Convenience Store (2020)

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eye of the storm !!!:DD

no wait raining again+___+

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via

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still one of my fav pages i ever did

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here is a kandi i made today !!:)) interesting and ever present of a repeated offender to my cerebellum. this song is always stuck in there !! and most certainly my favorite of the ones theyd made. felt i should make a bracelet of it, as it is an interesting concept in the variety of music i envelope my auditory cortex with.

was looking for the hot glue yesterday to glue the exclamation point to the t in hot to make it resemble the bands name !!!!! although i believe they go by a different name now, i will choose to live in a world where i know them by this name. as it is much more interesting to my own perception.

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something i forgot to mention in this post, is that after id left my room to do my chores, many stranger things had happened following the discovery of the strange dvd. id forgotten to include this for whatever reason, but the hot glue i was looking for was still lost. i could not make my bracelet or fix anything id needed to fix for some time since itd been missing. i had checked everywhere and after id walked my dogs, had asked my brother if he knew where it was and if he had it to just tell me and id use it and give it back. my brother had become so consumed by emotion, he grew angry, and it confused me greatly. he said “fine!” and ran to his room and retrieved a candle and a lighter then sat them down on the table. id asked him, “what are you doing?” rightfully confused. and hed just told me to wait and watch. he closed his eyes and started whispering over the lit candle flame and i watched as the candle light flickered and responded to his question. i was very concerned and confused and went to tell my mother. she was very angry after the whole hot glue incident with my brother earlier, i still do not know why, as it is just hot glue. but id found everyone strangely more upset than usual over this hot glue, so it was seeming to become a trend. and upon hearing about what i had just seen she was even more upset to hear what id told her. we were both very confused to where hed learned to do that and why hed done it at all. he told me hed asked it where the hot glue was and itd told him it was in the garage. it was not, infact, in the garage upon looking. so it was already a deceptive voice. but after that was done, the energy in the house had shifted. the lighting had felt a bit dimmer, everything just slightly darker than the usual for the night. and the energy around me was prickly like i could feel the static in the air. the turning point when id known something was wrong was when my dog, the black one, was sitting upstairs, and as i was walking up the stairs. his face hadnt stopped to look at my own, but instead up above my head toward the ceiling, and it stayed there until i was well up the stairs and approaching him. i followed his gaze as it shifted up the remainder of the stairs and to the foyer where we both sat. my dog absolutely lost his mind at that and ran straight into his kennel. when id approached him, hed growled at me. he was incredibly startled and wouldnt get near me or the stairs. i dont know what he saw, but obviously it wasnt good. and i felt it, at my back. i could feel a presence directly behind me following me around like a dog on a leash. i was startled and the feeling of it being so close had me on edge, as it followed me back to my room. at this, i stopped skimming through the strange dvd. and i was sick of feeling it hover over me. so i went and told my mother, and she said shed clean the energy in the house when shed sleep later, that she felt it become dreary as well. the dogs downstairs were freaking out the same, howling and barking. it was an unsettling night and sure enough, did not get better as the night went on. when everyone was asleep and the cleaning had been done, id stepped outside my room and tasted the energy around me. the sticky cold texture of peanut butter confection layed dormant in the air. like whatever it was that cast it outward was still and waiting. unable to move and possibly in an inbetween. i stayed in place and waited myself as well, to see if anything would change and sure enough i heard a faint tapping sound from somewhere in the house and what i could describe to be breathing, out in the foyer to the room adjacent of the hallway, and leading to the stairs. breathing like that found in sleep. though it did not bother me to hear, as it is heavily prominent in my reality to hear such things. though it soon dissipated as the night went on, and energy began to settle from its frenzied state into a clean page for a new day to be described on. that is all. a strange day filled with much stranger things. cant say id like for it to happen again.

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today the strangest thing happened. id been making kandi all day, a long awaited task turned furthermore into a burden as the days dragged on and continued to the sooner end of the summer season. when id found myself soaked in the silk of a conundrum. i needed hot glue because i lacked any type of punctuation mark for the ending to a bracelet i was making. however i had no such exclamation mark. so i had made one of an upside down i, however i needed to glue it to my other letter for this to work. yet no luck, the glue was missing. obviously bewildered by this, i searched and asked around finally leading back to the layer by which my brother bodes his domain. it quickly escalated and got out of hand, as his response to my questioning was that to assume my inquiry implied that of theivery. it did not but he knows not with his young age to listen. so alas i was thrown out to look elsewhere. my parents had gone so i took to it with the free space from the car having vacated the area where the storage bins lay. and i got to work opening and looking into them. i knew of two hot glue vestiges in my home. two documented ones at least, as they both routinely go missing and reappear at random, i knew better than to not take the time to look inside the office storage bins in particular. and as i dug through my first box in particular, i found photos of myself from deep in my very first term growing period to my most recent. i, being the first born was always the most heavily documented on, of my sibling collective. which is fine so to speak as i have proper proof for my experiences and that of my life previously to my most recent years. however i had come upon a pooled amount of dvds at the bottom, after i had divvied out some pictures of myself for the taking to add to my childhood shoebox. many familial events and activities, holidays, school photos, my parents wedding, stuff like that. however there was a dvd entitled “((my name)) photos” i was confused about the title so i set it in the pile with the other things i was certain id never find and left shortly after to make my departure. however when id put the disc into my tv after id arrived in my room. itd made many strange noises. then inexplicably brought me to a picture of a snowy mountain, in what looked to be a tundra climate. i stared at the photo for awhile just pondering the whole thing, before i realised it was a sort of slideshow. i pressed the remote for the next slide and took note that all of the slides were more or less the same thing. the disc being full of pictures of the dreary antarctic. where images of snowy mountains and clusters of strange looking penguin hold themselves a collective. though it continued endlessly, of eerie near perfect looking snowy mountains, surrounded by water and such. the photographer perhaps on a boat. i found it went on forever, me skipping through them for a solid half hour maybe, before i was called to do some chores. id been gone for a long time too, about midnight, as is the curse of leaving my room and stalling my way back to the connecting hallways, always somehow leading back to my door. i got right back to skipping through the slideshow. and the photos did not change, and there was no option to go backward. i took a short video of what i was seeing, to try to picture it better in explanation. but its really short as my phone stopped itself from recording not even 20 seconds in because of low storage-__-

im not very sure what to make of this, what association i am supposed to draw from a cd with my name on it, implying photos of me through its titling. and what the frequent photos of the antarctic imply to me as a person. this is quite the query, is it not? im afraid to take it out of my dvd player as i do not want to lose my place in the sequence of images i have found myself lost in. many of these photos beyond uncanny in a way i cannot pinpoint. perhaps it is the entailment of isolation making me feel this way. as i find myself anxious thinking of the endless artic tundra and pointlessness provided to me in such an environment, leading me to an endless feild of water, all surrounding to my periphery. a true nightmare to be lost to the ice and water beholdent in these photos. how i long to be away from it and yet i am viewing it from beyond that of a distance. i wonder what this is reflective of if not my own fear, is it true that our fears are what make us ourselves? i wonder where i heard that from. maybe in the future, i am these photos. maybe im the one taking them. or maybe these photos are just meant to represent me as an individual being. like finn from adventure time representing a sword when not trapped to that of a flesh corporeal form. regardless, perhaps these images were placed here for me to find when id come the age of understanding. i will ponder this more frequently as it has happened now a time ago, since id started writing this. yesterday to be exact. and i am still unsure if i even want to keep looking through the slideshow, as im not sure if it will ever end and time has not been very generous to me as of late. we will see. for now it is a mystery i will continue to write about.

continuation to this post

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Materials used: craft store blank paper mask, model magic, mod podge, chipotle napkins, masking tape, acrylic paint, watercolor paint, makeup palette, false nails, top coat, black nylon, superglue.

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Marjeta