wobblefloss

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im wine drunk and in tears over this garfield

fucking look at him

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New York City ballet production of Midsummer Nights Dream

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[Source]

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My dog's really a study in Buddhism. He can see my muffin wrapper and he's miserable. Crying. He needs to eat my muffin wrapper so bad.

I get up and throw it away. He forgets about it immediately and happily goes to sleep.

You are not sad because you do not have a muffin wrapper, my beautiful boy, you are sad because you want the muffin wrapper.

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Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

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What always sends me these days about "The Two Towers" is the lightning-fast transition from:

"Yes, friends of the Fellowship, I have returned from beyond the veil of death and elevated into a newer, more powerful self. Like Saruman, but as he should be. Noble and aloof from petty concerns"

To:

"Ah it's my horse, the Best Horse who is the King of Horses. Look him in the eye. Can you name a sexier horse? You're lying, you can't. Kiss the horse, Aragorn. KISS HIM"

In reference to my contribution to the Shadowfax horse king administrative duties viral post

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Himalayan Monal (Lophophorus impejanus), male, family Phasianidae, northern India

Photograph by Kamlesh Mirkale

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"do you want him to wear the little hat?"

"yes please"

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Me, happily carrying the OC around in my mouth:

Reader: What do you have?

Me: *freezes, alert*

Reader: Can I see that?

Me: *flees the scene at a wild pace*

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my ancient greek history professor is making us post memes weekly. i swear to god

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Cookie wishes you a tubular Saturday!

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Coolest thing about lord of the rings? The king of horses shows up. It appears he is no different from all other horses

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sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

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little kids make me laugh. i was at a party yesterday and a kid was there and she noticed that i have a long straight cut along the length of my thumb and asked about it, so i told her it was a cat scratch, almost healed, didn't hurt. and then she was sorta staring and touching it for a bit and went "you had bone surgery. because there were termites in your bones."

so i played along and went "oh man, i hope they got em all!" and she went "no. they put in more." lmao

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NOT CLICKBAIT: olive is perfect

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I'd love to say that this is the dumbest thing I've ever made, but we both know that's a lie