wobblingjello

[wobblingjello]

Shadows of His Past

Summary: Spencer had a routine he always did on Maeve’s death anniversary. Lost in his own grief, something, or rather, someone, completely slipped out of his mind. You. He was hyper-focused in his grief that he hurt you in the process.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5111 (This is now officially the longest fanfic I’ve ever written!!!)

Author Notes: This fanfic was born from one line that stuck in my head for days: “Do I have to compete with her for a place in your heart my entire life?” I’m clearly not an expert on the language of flowers. I simply read people’s blogs/articles about flowers and their meanings as I wrote this. Sorry for any inaccuracy.

In the last two months, you’ve noticed that Spencer has been acting a bit off. It became more noticeable every time you spent the night at his apartment. You’d find him standing in front of the bookshelf, simply staring at his collection, or maybe one certain book, you weren’t entirely sure. Yet he never actually took anything off of the bookshelf. He clenched his fists, as if he restrained himself from reaching out to that book. After a few moments, he’d usually go to a different part of the apartment; either it was the kitchen or the bedroom. You didn’t know if he was even aware of what he was doing, and you didn’t know the reason he did that either.

Knowing that something bothered him but didn’t know how to help him irritated you. One night, you’ve had enough of this behavior, so you pulled him to the couch, and confronted him. You could tell that he was taken aback by the question — proving your suspicion that he wasn’t aware of his actions. He didn’t answer immediately, but you knew his big brain was running its gears to form an answer for you.

“It’s almost Maeve’s death anniversary.” His voice was shaky, and it was barely audible.

That was the only response you got from him, before he buried his face in the palm of his hands. You didn’t know what kind of answer you expected from him, but that was entirely off the table. You weren’t sure what to do, but you offered him a hug. The moment you pulled him to your embrace, he immediately held you close. As if he was afraid he’d lose you.

One of the first things he had brought up when you two started dating was how his job could possibly be a danger to the people in his life. The people he loved. That was also the day he first ever mentioned a woman named Maeve, who tragically had been murdered by her stalker, right in front of him. Possibly the first woman he ever loved.

You didn’t think much of it when he told you about her. Didn’t even think she was still relevant to the relationship you had with him right now, because it’s been years since it happened anyway. Right?

A week after Spencer told you about Maeve however, when his female colleagues invited you for a girls night’s out, you instantly said yes — thinking it could be the perfect opportunity to ask them about her. After the second round of drinks, you mustered up the courage to ask them about her. Once the question left your mouth, you were greeted by an uncomfortable silence. You clearly had put them in the hot seat, and most likely ruined the night. They hesitated to tell you, afraid that it wasn’t their place to share the story. You encouraged them that it was alright, that Spencer had already told you, you just wanted to know the story from their perspectives.

So, they eventually told you everything they knew about Maeve, which was pretty much the same things Spencer had told you. However, they revealed that what happened to her greatly affected him mentally and emotionally. Which at some point also clouded his judgment in the field. It took him weeks to seek out help from the team, and another weeks to give himself a proper closure. The topic surrounding her and the relationship with Spencer seemed to be more sensitive than you let yourself to believe.

The sound of a muffled cry brought you back to the present. You were so lost in your own head you didn’t even realize that Spencer was crying. You tried to sooth him as best as you could; one hand rubbing his back in gentle motion and the other hand brushing his curls. At one point, you managed to convince him to call it a night. That night you slept with his hands tightly wrapped around you, like he needed proof that you were real.

The next day, you wanted to ask him when exactly her death anniversary was, but he didn’t even try to give you a further explanation, so you went along with him. Pretending that the conversation from the night before had never happened in the first place.

Days, weeks, passed by since that night, and things have returned to normal. At least, that was what you wanted to believe. Both of you still communicated like you two normally would. He still informed you when he was about to travel for a case or when he was about to go home. From time to time, you still spent the night at his place, or him at yours. It was just that both of you carefully avoided the subject altogether.

One day, the buzzing sound from your phone wouldn’t stop. There were dozens of texts in the group chat. The one group chat that consisted of you and Spencer’s female colleagues. You were overjoyed when they added you to the group chat — how they considered you as one of them. However, today, as you read through the texts, you felt… confused? They were talking about going to another state to catch yet another bad guy, guessing who they’d share the room with, etcetera.

You were confused because you received no text from Spencer that indicated those things. No, scratch that. You received no text from him at all. You thought he was busy juggling piles of case files, thus he hadn’t responded to your text, but apparently that wasn’t what was happening.

You tried to send him another text before putting your phone aside. Trying to ignore the unsettling feeling in your gut, and getting back to your work.

By lunch time, you still hadn’t heard anything from Spencer, and you began to worry. A bit desperate for an answer, you made a phone call to Penelope.

“Hey, sweetness. It’s always a great time when you call. A distraction that I need. Anyway, do you need anything?” She sounded like her usual cheerful self on the other side of the line.

“Hey, Penny. Um, it may sound weird, but I wonder if you happen to know where Spencer is? I haven’t heard from him all day.”

“Oh. I don’t think I’m the right person to tell you about it, hun.”

“Will you please tell me what’s going on? I won’t be mad at you. If he’s going to be mad at you for telling me, then it’s his problem with me. I promise.” Considering what’s been going on between you two, you didn’t like the implication that he hid something from you.

She went silent for a moment. Probably contemplating her choices. Then you heard her sighing. “Every year, on this day, Reid always takes a day off. Today’s Maeve’s death anniversary.”

Your heart dropped to the bottom of your stomach. You vaguely heard Penelope’s worried voice through the phone, but you barely registered what she said after that. Her previous words echoed in your mind — played over and over, like a broken record.

Every year…

He takes a day off…

Today’s Maeve’s death anniversary…

You didn’t even remember how you ended that phone call. All you could remember was the pain that grew in your heart.

As reality started to kick in, a bitter laugh escaped your lips. Knowing how demanding his job was, you two rarely made a plan for dates. Your dates always revolved around his day off. Even on your birthday, you only received a phone call because he was miles away solving a crime. Meanwhile he willingly took a day off, to do God knew what, on his almost ex-girlfriend’s death anniversary?

What did he do that he needed an entire day off? Did he visit her grave? Where was he now?

You had so many questions, yet you didn’t have any idea how to communicate with Spencer, when he hadn’t responded to any of your previous texts.

The rest of your day went on a blur after that phone call with Penelope.

---

Even after years had passed, waking up on this day never got any easier. The moment Spencer opened his eyes, everything that happened that day flashed before his eyes as if it just occurred yesterday. Then the guilt would follow close after. As he laid on his bed, he constantly asked himself the same question; was there something he could’ve done differently in order to save her?

Every year, today, he’d do the same routine. He’d start his day by reading “The Narrative of John Smith”, the book she gave him. At this point, he had completely memorized every word page by page. He didn’t really mind, because this was the only thing he had left of her. If he normally could read 20,000 words per minute, he took his time when reading this one. He wanted to completely immerse himself in the memory of her.

When he was done reading the book, he’d take a ride. His first stop was a florist, where he always bought 2 bouquets of flowers for different purposes. Beth, the lovely elderly woman who owned the place, would have the bouquets ready for him when he arrived. She knew Spencer would stop by to get the bouquets every year on this day.

Once the bouquets were secured, he drove to his next destination; the crime scene. He put the first bouquet at the entrance  of the loft. After the first year of Maeve’s death anniversary, he learned that her parents went to her grave around noon, hence he opted to go to this place first. Spencer would stay in his parked car, pull out the “The Narrative of John Smith” book from his messenger bag, then read it again for an hour or two, before finally driving to the cemetery.

There was a bouquet at her grave when he arrived, definitely from her parents. He put his bouquet next to it. He’d stay there, and simply talk to her. Over the years, he’d tell her the same things. To this day, aside from the fact he failed to save her, his other regret was he didn’t get the chance to tell her how he felt. He knew that Maeve was smart enough to realize that him saying he didn’t love her was part of the plan, but he wished he didn’t have to do that. He wished for the alternative outcome where she was alive, and he could tell her how he felt in person. He’d apologize for what happened to her, how he couldn’t save her, asked her if she had forgiven him, and asked if it was okay to forgive himself.

He felt lighter when he drove home. Usually he’d try to recall their phone call conversations. How Maeve laughed when he attempted to make terrible jokes, how she often made intellectual puns, or how she sounded like when she told him that she loved him. It scared him that someday he would forget the sound of her voice.

The sun had already set by the time he was back to his place. Spencer was exhausted and starving. The last time he had meals was before he left his apartment. He’d make himself a quick dinner, then get ready for bed. He was about to get a few ingredients from the fridge, when he saw it; a bottle of juice he usually didn’t drink. Odd. Then the realization hit him like a ton of bricks . That was your favorite juice that he stocked in his fridge for you.

Shit.

He quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and turned it on. Once it was on, Spencer noticed tons of texts and calls from you and surprisingly Garcia too.

He had completely forgotten about you.

You [09:47 AM]: Hey, genius. Are you heading somewhere or stuck in Quantico doing paperwork today? You [11:29 AM]: Spence, are you okay? I haven’t heard anything from you. You miscalled (3) You [04:31 PM]: Can you at least tell me that you’re okay? You miscalled (2)

Garcia [01:15 PM]: Your girl found out through the ladies group chat that the team headed to San Francisco today. She asked me about you because she couldn’t reach you. I’m so sorry.

The last call from you was one and half hours ago. He grabbed his bag and car key, then in an instant went out of his apartment again. Before he started the car engine, he tried to call you once but it went straight to voicemail.

Garcia miscalled (2)

Garcia [04:26 PM]: Please call her back. She’s worried about you.

How could he be so ignorant?

The fact that you had called him out for his odd behaviors lately was bad enough, then you found out the significance of today from someone else. Not from him. That felt like a punch to his face. You were kind enough for not forcing him to explain everything to you immediately that night. No, you tolerated him enough to not bring up that topic again. He should’ve told you sooner.

On his way to your place, his brain ran a mile a minute; thinking of what would be the best explanation to give you. At this point he knew his explanation would probably sound like an excuse to you, but he’d still try. If you wouldn’t listen to him today, then he’d try again, and again, and again.

Once Spencer parked his car, he realized he didn’t know if you were even home. There was still a probability that you were somewhere else. He remembered how you once stayed the night at Garcia’s place when you weren’t feeling well, and he was unfortunately away for a case — you could be at her place again. Now that he was standing in front of your door, however, he could vaguely hear the sound from your TV. He released a sigh of relief. You were here. He could do this.

He knocked on your door twice — you didn’t answer. The sound from your TV was gone. He tried knocking again. Still no answer.

“Sweetheart. I know you’re in there. Can we please talk?” He pleaded as he rested his head on your door.

Silence.

The silence stretched too long for his liking. He tried knocking again. He didn’t want to give up on you. On this relationship.

Then he heard a shout from inside the apartment. “Just go away, Spencer! I don’t want to talk to you!”

Even through the door, he recognized the hurt in your voice. He hated that he caused that pain. You were alone inside your apartment, hurting, and it was because of him.

Determined, he simply had to try again. “You don’t have to talk, if you aren’t up for it. I just need you to listen to my explanation. Please.”

He heard footsteps coming his way, and he allowed a tiny hope blooming in his chest. You opened the door, and the sight of you made his heart shattered instantly. Your eyes were red and puffy, the unmistakable proof that you were crying. Spencer was furious at himself, looking at the undeniable evidence that he caused that. He wanted to caress your cheeks so badly, and to tell you that everything would be fine, that you both would be fine. But he restrained himself from doing so. How could he? When he was the source of your distress to begin with.

“Babe—”

“I’m tired, Spence.” Your voice was hoarse, definitely from the crying. “I don’t want to deal with any of this now. Just go home.”

You didn’t entirely turn down his effort to make it up to you, he’d take that. So he tried a different approach. “I’m helping the team from Quantico, so if you’re up to have the discussion tomorrow, or any day really, just let me know.” He eventually reached for your hand, and the tiny hope from earlier grew a bit bigger when you didn’t flinch at his touch. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this.”

“Good night, Spence.” You let his hand go, and closed the door on his face.

---

When Spencer woke up the next day, he couldn’t shake the guilt that lingered within him. The look on your face kept replaying in his mind like a movie. You looked so broken and defeated — a far cry from your usual bubbly self. He felt sick to his stomach knowing he did that to you. If he had to spend the rest of his life making up to you, then he’d do exactly that.

As he walked out of his bedroom to get ready for work, he checked his phone, and no text from you. Understandable. After all, he ignored you all day yesterday, why would you text him today?

Before he left his apartment though, he texted you.

Spencer [07:18 AM]: Hey, sweetheart. I know that you’re still mad at me. Rightfully so. But let me know if we can meet up today. I want to properly explain everything to you. I love you.

As he stepped into the bullpen, he immediately walked to Garcia’s office. It’d be more efficient if they assisted the team together from her office. After he knocked on the door, he didn’t bother to wait for an answer, he just walked right in. He was hoping for the usual witty greetings from her, but the moment she saw him, her expression was a mix of sadness, worry, and perhaps pity.

“Oh, Reid.”

Knowing what she was probably about to say, he held his hand up to stop her. “Let’s not talk about that, yeah?”

Having his mind occupied with the case was the distraction that he needed. However, Spencer couldn’t help himself from checking his phone every now and then, in case you texted him. You didn’t. He could feel Garcia’s stare every time he checked his phone, but he didn’t really pay attention to it.

He appreciated her for granting his wish to not talk about his personal life, and they were strictly discussing anything work related. Although, he knew she was dying to say something; asking him how you were, had he apologized, or something.

Ever since Spencer introduced you to the team, they instantly adored you. Of course they were. How could they not? You were kind, funny, smart, and beautiful. They told him that the two of you were a perfect match, but also joked that you were too good for him. That wasn’t wrong, because for him, you were perfect. To this day, he couldn’t believe the fact that you two were dating. 

If the rest of the team easily welcomed you, then Garcia practically adopted you as her sister. He had lost count how many times you had lunch with her when the team was away. You once joked that you were actually in a relationship with her, and not him. He didn’t really mind, in fact, he was glad knowing you could share such a bond with one of the people he considered family.

Frankly, he wasn’t even surprised that Garcia told you the significance of yesterday for him. Spencer might know her longer, but you were her chosen sister. He also understood that she had no ill intention when she informed you. She simply helped someone she cared about.

As he packed his stuff, ready to go home, his phone buzzed. He immediately checked it. A text from you.

You [05:47 PM]: You can come to my place now if you want.

He hurriedly packed the rest of his stuff, not caring if the folders were folded in his messenger bag. In all the years he had worked in the BAU, he didn’t think he ever ran to the elevator that fast.

When he arrived at your apartment, he tentatively knocked on the door. This time though, it didn’t take long for you to open the door. As if you were waiting for him to be there.

You already changed your work outfit to your favorite pajama set, makeup had been washed, and you put your hair on a messy bun. Despite all of that, you still looked beautiful to him.

“Hey.” Spencer greeted you with hesitation.

You didn’t respond, simply step aside and let him in.

The two of you sat on the couch, but you kept him in an arm’s distance. He disliked how you even needed a space from him, as if being in any close proximity with him would hurt you.

You still hadn’t said a single word since he stepped into your place. The tension that filled the silence started feeling unbearable, so he began talking.

“I’d like to apologize to you first. For the way I behaved lately, but especially yesterday. I didn’t mean to hurt you, at least not intentionally. I’m so sorry.” You just shrugged it off, and he took it as permission to continue. “It’s like a habit at this point, something I do every year. It wasn’t my intention to ignore you. It’s just… I always have my phone off.”

“Because you don’t want anybody to disturb your time with Maeve.”

It felt like you mocked him, and perhaps he should be ashamed that he pitied himself for how you reacted.

“No, that’s—”

“Then what, Spencer? You forgot that I existed for the entire day.”

“I didn’t mean to.” It sounded like a pathetic excuse even to his own ears.

“I’m here, still breathing, and pretty much alive, while she’s 6 feet under! Yet, she’s still at the top of your priorities.”

“That’s not true.”

“Is it? You willingly take a day off to spend it with someone who’s dead, while I constantly got rescheduled dates. No, shit, Spence, that sounds like she’s more important to you.”

To some extent, it was perhaps true that there were other things at the top of his priorities, his job for example. However, he never put Maeve above you. No, never mind, she wasn’t even on the list of his priorities to begin with. He never thought he made you feel like that.

For someone who once saved both his and Hotch’s lives by talking, right now the gears in his brain stopped working, and he couldn’t form a proper response for you. Besides, he felt like no matter what he said to you at this moment, you wouldn’t believe him. He couldn’t even blame you for that. After all, it was him who put you both in this situation.

Big fat tears freely fell from your eyes. He ached to reach for you and hold you close.

“I feel like I’m living under her shadow. Do I have to compete with her for a place in your heart my entire life?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

“What? No! I love you. I’m so sorry for making you feel that way, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making up to you.”

Spencer tentatively moved closer to you, and when you didn’t react, he tried reaching for your hand. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when you didn’t take your hand away from his.

“Sweetheart. I’m really sorry for what I did. Please give me a chance to make this right.”

“I don’t know, Spence.”

He panicked. “You… Do you no longer love me?” The question left his mouth before he even realized.

“I still love you, but I don’t know if I can forgive you yet.”

He’d gladly take that answer. At least he knew that he still had the chance to right his wrong. He could plan what to do in order for you to forgive him. He would grovel if he had to. He didn’t really care, as long as he could obtain your forgiveness.

“What can I do to make this right?”

“Give both of us time and space to thoroughly think about what we want.”

“No, but… I don’t need those to know what I want.”

“I do, Spence.”

That night, Spencer reluctantly left your apartment, but not before promising you one more time that he’d do whatever it took to right his wrong.

---

It’s been two weeks since Spencer came to your apartment. True to his words, he continuously made amends while still respecting your wish for time and space. You didn’t contact him as often as you usually did, but he would still tell you about his whereabouts throughout the day. You knew from Penelope that he would ask about you through her, because of course he knew you would talk to her. You apologized to her that he kept bothering her, but she only shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal for her.

While he was away for a case, every other day, he sent bouquets of flowers to your apartment. He had sent 3 bouquets so far. Knowing Spencer, each of the flowers must’ve been chosen with intention, and not random at all. Therefore, you looked up the meanings for each flower.

The first bouquet he sent was a mix of Lily of the Valley; the classic apology flower, Red Tulip; for one’s true love, and one that represented your birth month. The second one was a mix of Statice; for remembrance, Dahlia; the symbol of commitment, and one that represented the month you both started dating. The last bouquet you received yesterday was a mix of roses in different shades. Red Rose; the ultimate symbol of eternal love, Peach Rose; for gratitude, White Rose; represented a new beginning, and Yellow Rose; for lasting happiness.

As you were about to make yourself dinner, you heard your phone buzzing. A text from him.

Spencer [06:29 PM]: The case is closed. We’re going home tonight.

You reread his text a few times, then glanced at the flowers he gave you — now neatly put in a vase and placed in your kitchen counter. Maybe it was time to have another talk with him?

You [06:34 PM]: Can I come to your place tomorrow?

The response came immediately, like he was waiting for you to reply.

Spencer [06:35 PM]: Of course. Just let me know when you’re on your way.

Truthfully, you weren’t even sure what you wanted to talk about, but one thing you knew for sure was how you missed Spencer. You just hoped you made the right decision.

The next day, after informing your boyfriend, you went to his apartment around noon. Aside from your rapid heartbeat, the commute to his place was uneventful. The last time you felt this nervous at the prospect of meeting Spencer was probably on your first date with him, which was funny considering the current situation you both were in.

It only took two knocks before he opened his apartment door. The corner of your mouth drew downwards at the sight of him. Penelope had told you that Spencer looked like a mess ever since he left your apartment two weeks ago, but you didn’t know he looked this awful. His hair was in disarray, as if he’s been running his fingers through his curls in the last hours. The dark circles under his eyes were more noticeable, perhaps he had trouble sleeping. It wasn’t like yours were any better, but at least you managed to conceal them with your makeup.

“Hey.”

“Hey, please come in.” He stepped aside to let you in.

You immediately went to the living room, and tried to make yourself comfortable. From the couch, you could see Spencer in the kitchen, probably making tea for both of you. Your guess was correct when he walked to the living room with two cups in his hands. A tiny smile adorned your face when you noticed one of the cups — doodles all over it. You insisted on buying it when you two went to the local market close to his apartment a few months ago. You wanted to have something that was yours in his place. He always made your drink of choice in that cup. Spencer put the cups on the coffee table, then sat on the other corner of the couch.

You could tell that he was nervous. Probably more nervous than you were. He was most likely afraid he’d say something wrong that’d jeopardize the relationship further. You put an end to the silence by striking up a conversation — something easy.

“Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I also did my own research on the language of the flowers.”

“You did?” 

You noticed the way his eyes lit up from your confession. “Of course. I didn’t even know there’s a flower that represents my birth month.”

You missed this, having a laid-back conversation with him. However, you knew the heavy conversation was also inevitable, so you told him that he could start his explanation if he wanted to.

He told you everything, from the beginning down to every tiny detail, like the book “The Narrative of John Smith” and the bouquets of flowers. He even mentioned how Beth, the florist, had remembered him and his order after the second year. 

The knots in your stomach felt more and more undeniable as his story went on. It hurt knowing how the guilt still consumed him, and the fact that to some extent Spencer still cared about Maeve.

By the time he was done with his explanation, his eyes were looking anywhere but you, and his hands were fidgeting the hems of his cardigan. The guilt you saw in his eyes wasn’t the reflection of how he felt towards her. It was the regret for causing you pain.

“Spence. Honestly, I’m still hurting, and I don’t know if I can fully forgive you just yet.” You saw the moment the light in his eyes dimmed even more, and maybe your heart cracked a little. “But I’m willing to try again. You have to be patient with me though.”

He looked directly into your eyes, probably searching for any hint of doubt in them. “Anything. I’ll do anything to gain your forgiveness.” He slowly moved closer to you on the couch, but still maintained some distance, afraid he might startle you. “I love you. I’ll do everything in my power to correct my wrongdoings. I promise.”

You offered him your hand, which he immediately took. You smiled at him as he squeezed your hand. For the first time in a while, you knew it’d be alright. It might take some time, but you knew that the two of you would survive this one.

[wobblingjello]

Snippet of a fanfic I’m currently working on.

Still in the process of writing the end (always a struggle for me), and the word count is already over 4k. It’s officially the longest one I’ve ever written 🥴

For someone who once saved both his and Hotch’s lives by talking, right now the gears in his brain stopped working, and he couldn’t form a proper response for you. Besides, he felt like no matter what he said to you at this moment, you wouldn’t believe him. He couldn’t even blame you for that. After all, it was him who put you both in this situation.

Making this post as a motivation to actually finish it, now that part of it was out in the wild.

[wobblingjello]

put a bow on it | s.r.

in which Spencer is in charge of doing both of your daughters hair in the morning

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: twin dad!spencer AND girl dad!spencer. twin jealousy. word count: 1.5k a/n: twin dad!spencer!!!! a pathologicalreid first!! this one goes out to arya because she let me ramble about this idea lolololol

The pout that was being reflected in the mirror reminded him of you. At another time, he would’ve found it cute, adorable even, that one of your daughters had adopted your mannerisms, but right now, he was running late. 

He’d spent hours over the past week assuring you that you didn’t need to move your appointment this morning and he was more than capable of getting the girls off to school on his own. Breakfast was easy enough—they liked his french toast more than yours anyway—and the girls were old enough to lay their own outfits out the night before, but what he hadn’t anticipated was what happened after their teeth were brushed and he was handed two combs. 

It was something you enjoyed, individualizing the girls’ hair every day before school, but aside from a classic ponytail, he wasn’t well versed in styling their hair. Naturally, a ponytail wasn’t going to cut it today. 

“I wanted mommy to curl it,” June insisted, pointing at the curling iron that was neatly hung away from the reach of tiny hands. She’d been the first to scowl at the offer of a ponytail, insisting that her hair had to be done precisely the way she wanted it. 

Eyeing the hot tool warily, Spencer quickly tried to put together an excuse that the five year old would accept, but he came up empty. “I don’t think I should use something hot until mommy shows me how to use it,” he tried to explain. 

As if on cue, June tilted her head to the side curiously and asked, “Why not?” 

Admittedly, he had walked right into that one, but he sighed and scrambled for the answer, “Because you might get hurt.”

Big, brown eyes stared up at him, waiting for further explanation to satisfy her inquisitive nature, but instead of it coming from him, it came from her twin, standing on the other side of the counter. “It’s like the stove,” Edie offered, trying to climb up on the bathroom counter and frowning when Spencer gently tugged her down. 

Realization flooded June’s eyes, “Oh, you need an adult to use the curler.” She rattled off the answer that made sense to her. 

With both girls standing on their respective stepstools—engraved with their names and bedazzled by Aunt Penelope—Spencer took a deep breath. “Exactly,” He conceded. “So, what do you want me to do with your hair?”

“Braids, please!” Edith piped up with her request, but those were outside of Spencer’s skillset. You’d been teaching him how to braid the girls’ hair, but it was difficult to find the time and to get to stay still. Fruit snack bribery only got you so far. 

June looked pensively in the mirror, shrugging off her frustration about the curling iron and looking up at Spencer, “Can you do a half-pony?” 

“I can’t, but I appreciate your manners,” he responded to Edith first before turning to June, “Can you show me what a half-pony is?” He asked, making a note of the hairstyle jargon that he was getting a crash course on. 

June nodded happily, pulling strands of her hair back from her face and gathering them at the back of her head in her little fingers, “And then you do a bow.” 

He frowned slightly, “A bow?”

Junie beamed, “Yeah, a matchy bow.”

Spencer was familiar with the tote filled with bows that you’d invested in over the years, he was convinced they had a bow for every outfit. “Can you pick a bow?” He moved the tote on the counter in front of her, hoping to solve the issue of needing a matching bow by having her choose one on her own. He turned his attention to Edith, who had traded expressions with her twin and now bore a pout. “What’s wrong, honey?” 

“I wanted braids,” Edie explained, dragging her fingers down each side of her head to show that she wanted french braids. Disappointed tears welled in her eyes, and the fact that Spencer couldn’t fix the issue broke his heart. 

He frowned slightly, “Hey, no tears,” he cooed. “What if I try to do little braids?” His offer was a carefully calculated plan, using words that he’d heard you use before when talking about the girls’ hair. These weren’t french braids, little braids would start at the base of her neck and go to the ends of her hair. 

Woefully, Edith nodded, fiddling with the cuff of her sweater while she eyed the bows her sister was deliberating on. “Can I have a bow too?” 

“You can have two if you’d like,” Spencer proposed, “One for each braid.” He accepted the bow that June was holding out for him and slid the tote over to Edith. 

June gaped at his offer, “I want two bows!” 

Somewhere, he had misstepped, “She gets two bows because she wants two braids, you only wanted one pony.” He was fairly certain he was approaching pigtail territory, and his almost never turned out even. 

“I want two!” June exclaimed, waiting a moment before speaking up again, “Please.” 

Spencer nodded reassuringly, “Okay, but no more changes,” he told her, knowing she was already on her third hairstyle of the day. 

She nodded happily at his compromise, producing the matching bow that she had already fished out of the tote for him. June teetered on the balls of her feet excitedly at the prospect of getting pigtails while he sprayed her hair with detangler, just barely starting to comb her hair back for the pigtails when she flinched away from him. 

His heart jumped for a moment, fearful that he’d pulled too hard on her head, but he relaxed when she spoke up, “That’s not how mommy does it.” 

No, he supposed it’s not how you would do it, but then again, you would’ve been able to curl her hair the way she wanted, avoiding the realm of pigtails entirely. “Trust me on this,” he tried to reassure her despite his rapidly dwindling confidence. 

June put her head back in place, letting him brush her hair back before parting it down the middle. He glanced up at the mirror, watching Edith as she took her own brush in her hands and started raking it through her hair. “I’ll do yours in a minute, Edie,” he told her, not wanting her to feel like she had to do it on her own. 

“She always goes first,” Edith whined, slightly out of character for your bashful daughter. Spencer frowned slightly, not realizing her had conformed to the general order of things. 

“Cuz I’m older,” June countered pointedly, glancing up at her father to gauge his reaction to her claim, but Spencer remained stone faced. Both of you had decided to refrain from revealing which twin is older, and it’s saved you from dozens of arguments along the way. 

Spencer hummed, wrapping the first elastic around June’s hair, “I’ll let mommy know, and you can go first tomorrow.” 

Junie huffed at his dedication to keeping the secret, but her scowl turned into a grin when she saw her hair. A golden rush of victory led to a sigh of relief from him, clipping her bows to her pigtails while she bounced in excitement. He had a sneaking feeling she didn’t act this way when you did her hair, meaning all of this joy was solely for him. 

When it was Edie’s turn, Spencer still combed through her hair, even though she had done most of it on her own. She fiddled with the peeling laminate of the bathroom counter while he braided her hair, talking himself through the process—left, center, right, center—and hoping he wouldn’t get them mixed up. 

June was unable to stand still any longer, so Spencer told her she could go watch cartoons until it was time to leave. “Is she older?” Edith mumbled slightly. 

Spencer shrugged, tying off her braid with a bow that previously belonged to a doll, “Does it matter?”

She sighed in a way that only a five year old could, “Guess not.”

“You’re still twins, you were born on the same day,” Spencer tried to explain in a way she would accept. 

“Is that why we have the same birthday?” She asked, fumbling through her words—birfday. 

He hummed a confirmation, “Yeah, because your birthday is the day you were born.” He tied off the second braid before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. 

She was quiet for a moment, he thought she was pondering birthdays, so he was surprised when she whispered, “Daddy?” 

“Yeah, baby?” He responded. 

Pointing at her hair, Edith gave him a sympathetic look while silently showing him the huge chunk of hair that had been left out of the braids.

“I think mommy’s gonna have to give me another braiding lesson,” he told her, unraveling the braid so he could try it again. 

Edie nodded mournfully, “I think so too.”

[wobblingjello]

Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

[wobblingjello]

Plot bunny

Thinking about post S15 Spencer, where he found that he actually enjoyed his teaching career, and he’s been invited to be a guest lecturer in various universities all over the country.

One day, for whatever reason, after he was done with his seminar, he decided to stay in town for a couple of days. Well, since it was Spencer, of course he visited bookstores — adding a few books to his collection wouldn’t hurt.

On his second day of book hunting, he stepped into this cozy bookstore cafe a few blocks from the university he gave a seminar at. To his surprise, he met Elle there, and discovered that she actually owned it. She’d joke “my criminal fighter career ended years ago, and decided to open my own little business”.

Upon this finding, he ended up staying in town for the entire week. He visited her bookstore cafe almost every day, mostly during lunch hour, so he’d have an excuse to have lunch with her.

[wobblingjello]

Operation Lover Boy: Declassified

Summary: BAU’s resident genius hid something from the team. As #1 Office Informant, Penelope Garcia swore she would get the truth out of him. Or Spencer had a secret girlfriend, and the team was about to find out.

Genre: Humor (kind of) with a dash of fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2638

Warnings: Mention of Spencer got shot, but he was fine, and it was kind of important to the plot.

Author Notes: This one is so much fun to write!!! The majority of this fanfic was written from Garcia’s POV, but I added a tiny bit of Spencer’s POV at the end of it.

Penelope might not be a profiler, but as (self-proclaimed) #1 Office Informant, who knew every tittle-tattle in each nook of the office, she sensed that the Boy Wonder hid something from the team (her) — she hasn’t figured out what yet. That, the part that bothered her the most. She didn’t like secrets when it came to her family. She understood that Reid was a private person, but what if the thing he hid from the team (her) got him into trouble? She just wanted to be a good friend, you know?

She noticed it around 2 months ago. It was subtle, and almost went on unnoticed at first. Right after Hotch said wheels up, Reid pulled out his phone from his pocket and texted someone. She initially thought he just needed to contact someone from the care facility his mother was in. But then it happened every single time just like clockwork. He always texted someone before they went to wherever the case whisked them away. In all the years Penelope has known the Boy Wonder, she never saw him texting someone that often, especially during office hours.

The text thing wasn’t the only one that she noticed, of course. Next was the fact that Reid has stopped hanging out in the bullpen after office hours. Shocking. She couldn’t believe her eyes when that happened. Most of the time he was no longer on his desk when Penelope walked to the elevator. What could he possibly be doing?

The last thing, and definitely the most shocking one happened when the team just finished a case in Portland last week. It was common for the team to go back to the office when they finished a case. But that wasn’t what happened that day. Once they were landed, Reid went straight home.

JJ said it was something to do with a new book he needed to pick up at the bookstore before closing time. Sure it was common knowledge that Boy Genius loved books, if he could live in the library, he probably would. Back to the main point, it’d take less than an hour if he came down to the office first, and she was certain that the bookstore would still be open by then.

What frustrated her even further was she had zero idea how he behaved on the field recently. The disadvantages of a desk job. Did he act differently? Did he also secretly text someone when the team was building the profile of their UnSub? She definitely needed an additional set of eyes and ears on the field. And who would fit this role better than her favorite Chocolate Thunder, hm?

The team was currently in San Diego, dealing with yet another serial killer. Morgan just happened to call her to do some digging, in hope it’d help build their profile further. Perfect timing.  A little chit-chat with your colleague during working hours wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Hey, before you go… Do you, perhaps, notice something going on with Reid?”

“What about Reid?”

Penelope immediately caught the change of tone in his voice. The playfulness in his voice was gone, and replaced with a concerned one. She knew how protective Morgan could be, especially when it came to Reid, and she felt bad for making him think something bad happened.

“No-no-no, I promise it’s not something bad. Well, I hope it’s not.”

“Garcia, what’s going on?”

So, she told him everything. Every little detail she had observed the last 2 months. How it drove her insane that she hadn’t figured out what was happening.

“Ah. I see.”

“Derek.” Her voice was firm even through the phone. “Do you know something I don’t?”

“Well, now that you mentioned it. When we shared a room in Portland, he was almost never in the room by the time I finished my shower. Every time I asked him, he either said he just needed some air or took a phone call.”

“Is this what I think it is?” She gasped as she came to a realization. “I don’t even want to say it out loud — afraid I might jinx it.”

“You think Pretty Boy hides a Pretty Girl from all of us?”

If anyone listened close enough, they would recognize her squeal through the phone. “OH GOD. Is this really happening to our Einstein?”

“Maybe. I can keep an eye on him for you.”

“You know me too well. This is why I love you.”

“Alright, baby girl, I gotta go.”

Throughout the investigation, as promised, Morgan kept feeding Penelope new information. Thanks to the additional findings from him, her suspicion was correct. Reid had been constantly texting someone while on duty. Not all the time, of course. But he’d make time to take a little break to text someone.

When they were back to the hotel, as expected, Reid left the room again once Morgan took a shower. One time, after his shower, Morgan searched for Reid, and found him in the lobby, making a phone call. He lingered for a bit, and discovered that Boy Genius was apologizing to whoever he had a phone call with — explaining that unfortunately it took them longer to solve the case, so he wouldn’t be back any time soon. Based on Morgan’s observation, he definitely talked to a special lady friend.

After 6 long days, the team finally managed to catch the UnSub. When they cornered the UnSub, unfortunately Reid got shot on his arm — they had to stay another night until the hospital discharged him. Hotch had instructed him to take a few days off, starting effectively the moment they were back to Quantico. 

Penelope, as the best friend that she was, had suggested that if they didn’t have any pre-existing plans on the weekend, they should go visit Reid together. Sadly, not all the team members could go. With Morgan and Emily on both of her sides, they stood in front of Reid’s apartment door.

After a few knocks, the door was finally opened. They had expected Boy Genius to open the door, probably in his pajamas or any comfy loungewear he’d usually wear at home. What they didn’t expect however was a woman, wearing a CalTach hoodie (most definitely his hoodie) and shorts, opening the door. You looked completely cozy at his apartment. Emily even did a double-take on the apartment number, in case they knocked on the wrong door.

“Hey. Are you guys Spencer’s friends?” The sweet girl hesitantly asked them.

“Yes. We work with him.” Emily chimed in, and they could hear the amusement in her voice.

“Oh! The BAU! Come in. He’s still asleep though.” You stepped aside to let them in.

As the 3 of them stood in the living room, they watched you go to  what they assumed was Reid’s bedroom. They heard some noise from inside the room, you probably tried to wake him up.

The grin that had taken its rightful place on Penelope’s face from the moment you opened the front door hadn’t faded — her face started to hurt a little, but she didn’t care. Dr. Spencer Reid actually hid a girlfriend from them!

“Do you know about any of this?” Emily whispered from her right.

“Uh-hu, I had suspected it for almost 2 months.” 

After a while, you re-emerged from the bedroom, Reid was hot on your tail. That was also the moment he realized that the two of you had companies.

“Hm, hey, guys.” Reid stood awkwardly next to you.

“Pretty Boy is hiding a Pretty Girl from us this entire time?” Morgan’s signature smirk was on full display on his face.

“Right. This is Morgan, Garcia, and Emily.” Clearing his throat, Reid turned toward you, and introduced you. “This is my girlfriend.”

You, who looked completely entertained throughout the exchange, said your name. “Spencer talks about you guys a lot. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Penelope, who had been keeping her excitement at bay, finally exploded. “And we sadly had heard nothing about you, sweet girl. Our Einstein here clearly wants to keep you for himself.”

“I understand that Spencer is a private person, and I want to respect his wish to keep this between us.”

“Can I hug you? Please, I want to hug you.” Penelope looked at you with her pleading eyes.

“Sure.” You chuckled at her request.

They spent the next few hours chatting in Reid’s living room, grilling the couple with many questions regarding their relationship. They all were simultaneously shocked and amazed when they learned that the two of you had been together for 7 months! Boy Wonder managed to keep his relationship private for 7 months. Who would’ve thought?

What actually shocked them the most was when they learned how you two first met. Apparently, from time to time you did dog-sitting, and you usually took the dogs for a walk to this one particular park. That was where you met Reid.

One fateful day, the dog you took to the park ran towards Reid and quite literally knocked him off of the bench. You immediately apologized to him, and offered if there was something you could do to make it up to him. He easily brushed it off, saying it was nobody’s fault. With  a funny twist of fate, you two kept seeing each other in that park from that day on. At some point, Reid finally gathered his courage, and asked if you were single. Once you said yes, he asked again whether or not you wanted to go on a date with him. The rest was history.

Their conversation flew effortlessly, bouncing from one topic to another. They shared some (embarrassing) stories about Reid to you. As if it was possible, his ears visibly got redder with each story they shared. You seemed to enjoy the whole interaction. Seeing this side of Boy Wonder, one where he engaged with his closest friends, you’ve never seen before.

Penelope just had to tell you how happy she was knowing that Reid had you in his life. He smiled at that statement. A smile that she had never seen before. Surely it was something that was intended to be kept for a more intimate moment between the two of you.

Not only did they share stories of Reid, they also asked some questions about you. They wanted to know more about the woman who clearly had stolen the heart of one Dr. Spencer Reid. So you told them about where you grew up, what kind of job you do, what you do in your spare time, and many more.

You even confirmed that yes indeed Boy Genius always texted you before the team traveled to deal with the bad guy. Another shocking truth when you revealed it was actually his idea to have a nightly phone call when he was away. Who would’ve thought that Reid was a romantic?

“You do realize that once this story reaches the rest of the team, you have to retell it all over again for them, right?” Morgan teased him.

“Right. It’s only fair for them to hear it, too.” Emily added in.

“I hate you guys.” Reid groaned, then buried his face in his hands.

“No, you don’t.” Penelope cheerfully responded. “Once JJ knows about this too, we should have a girl’s night!” This time she talked to you.

“Sure.” — “No!” The two of you answered at the same time.

It caused all of you to burst out laughing, well except for Reid. In defeat, he threw his head to the back of the couch. Accepting the impending endless teasing from the team that he was sure wouldn’t die down any time soon. She caught how you brushed his knuckles, perhaps trying to calm him. A soft smile adorned Penelope’s face at the loving gesture.

When it was time for them to go home, you two walked them to the front door. To Reid’s dismay, of course Penelope had to ask for your number before they left — really solidified the upcoming girl’s night that could happen any time soon.

“See you on Monday, Lover Boy.” Morgan waved at you two as he walked towards the stairs.

“I’ll text you later, sweet girl.”

---

Once the door was closed, Spencer wanted to hit his head on the door so badly. This was exactly why he kept his relationship private. Not that he was ashamed of you, or his relationship — no, he loved you dearly. However he had a noisy group of friends. He knew this would eventually happen, but still, he wished he could keep it private for a bit longer.

Probably sensing his distress, you turned him around so he’d look at you. “It wasn’t that bad. I like seeing your friends, and they’re clearly happy for you. For us.” Clearing your throat, before continuing. “It also makes me happy knowing it’s me that makes you happy.”

He gently stroked your cheek, and pleased when you immediately leaned into his touch. “Of course you make me happy, sweetheart. I guess I’m doing such a poor job on showing how grateful I am to have you in my life if you ever doubt that.” He kissed your forehead, and his lips lingered seconds too long. “I love you.”

“I love you too, genius. I hope you’re ready for Monday.”

“Please don’t remind me.”

A serial killer didn’t catch a break over the weekend unfortunately, because Hotch had contacted the team to gather in the round-table room first thing first on Monday. On the other hand, Spencer was thankful, it meant they would immediately discuss the case, and they wouldn’t have time to tease him about his relationship.

This time, the case would take them to Austin. The local PD had requested the assistance of the BAU on their ongoing investigation. Once Hotch announced wheels up, and the team was about to get ready, Garcia however stopped them. She encouraged him to tell the rest of the team. They were back to their seats, and staring at him with knowing looks. Fantastic.

So, dejectedly he disclosed his relationship to the rest of the team. There were a few gasps from JJ and Rossi who weren’t at his apartment then. Even Hotch looked somewhat pleased with this newest discovery.

“Go on, Lover Boy. Aren’t you going to text your girl?” Of course it was Morgan who started it.

“I can’t believe you managed to keep it private this long, kid.” Rossi joined in.

“Maybe we should grab a drink when we’re back, and invite her to join us, Spence.” JJ added with amusement in her voice.

“Oh, that’s a fun idea! You better tell her soon, Doc. If you don’t, remember that I have her phone number, and I’ll definitely do it.” Garcia threatened him but with so much glee in her tone.

With a long heavy sigh, Spencer admitted his defeat. “Fine. I’ll tell her.”

One by one, the team started leaving the room — getting their stuff ready for the trip. Morgan patted his back before leaving the room. Spencer still sat in his seat, pulling out his phone to text you. 

Spencer [08:47]: We’re going to Austin this time. You [08:48]: Please be safe. Did you survive the interrogation? Spencer [08:49]: I will. It could’ve been worse. The whole team wants to meet you when we’re back. Garcia threatened me that she’ll personally contact you if I don’t inform you. You [08:50]: Do you think I should meet them? Spencer [08:51]: Yes, but only if you’re comfortable with it. You [08:52]: Well, I guess I’ll see everyone when the case is over.

Spencer put his phone back in his pocket. The corner of his mouth quirked up. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that the team now knew about you.

[wobblingjello]

I will NEVER shut up about glasses Reid. ౨ৎ

[wobblingjello]

The First Chapter of Our Story

Summary: Post prison Spencer enjoyed his spare time in the library. One day, you interrupted his reading time.

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3218

Warnings: None??

Author Notes: Please enjoy a tooth-rotting fluff of Spencer and Reader meet-cute!!!

After Spencer was out of prison, he spent most of his spare time in the library. If people asked him why, well for the obvious reasons; he liked reading, and he found solitude by burying himself in books. Now that he also had a mandatory teaching role, he wanted to make sure that he had everything that he needed for his classes. If he wasn’t in the field catching UnSubs or teaching his classes,  then he was most definitely in the library.

Furthermore, as a creature of habit, Spencer always visited the same library. (One time he was completely immersed in reading, he forgot he supposedly had lunch with Garcia and Emily — they found him with zero trouble. He was that predictable). The library was only 2 hours away from his apartment. He could easily get there by metro, or once in a while when he was up for a ride, then he’d ride his car. Not only was the distance convenient for him, the library had a few cozy reading spaces on the second floor — made it even easier for him to get lost in books.

This week was Spencer’s last week on his 30-day mandatory off field. He still had at least 2 classes before he was back on duty. As for today, he wanted to spend it in his current favorite go-to place. After making a simple breakfast; waffle and a cup of coffee, Spencer walked out of his apartment. Honestly, he was still a bit sleepy. He stayed up late rewatching a few episodes of Doctor Who until 2:00 AM. He almost drifted back to sleep when the alarm went off, but he managed to fight that urge. He feared he might end up staying inside the whole day if he did. He used to be fine spending his day off at his apartment, but after prison, it could make him feel trapped. Being in the library was a nice compromise for him — he was technically out in a public space, but could have minimum interaction with other people.

Spencer occupied one of the reading spaces, and had picked more than 10 books to read — some reading materials for his next classes and novels in Russian and German. He had his nose stuck in a book, he didn’t even notice someone approaching him. He heard someone clearing their throat to get his attention. When he looked up from his book, he saw you standing close to him. Tightly holding a novel and a notebook to your chest.

“Um, can I help you with something?” Spencer hesitantly asked, voice barely audible. He was in the library after all.

“I don’t know how to say this without making me sound like a creep, but I’ve seen you here a couple of times, and you always have so many books with you. I always wonder, are you even able to finish reading all of them?” You asked him in one go, with the same hush voice as him.

He was looking at you wide-eyed. Noticing how you were almost out of breath by the time you were done talking, like you were trying to say everything in one breath. Was this how others saw him when he rambled? Spencer found himself dumbfounded, and you most likely took his silence as a sign that he was mortified with what you just said.

“Oh God. I just scared you off, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’ll just—” You whisper-yelled.

“Hey. It’s okay.” He started softly. He didn’t want to cause more panic for you. “I can answer your question. Do you want to sit here with me?” Wait, what? He wasn’t sure where that came from, and he certainly surprised himself. Well, it was already out in the wild, and he couldn’t take it back.

“Are you sure?”

Spencer saw you fidgeting in the corner of your notebook, and he feared you might damage it. He rearranged the books at the table and motioned the chair across him for you to sit. He could tell you hesitated to sit, but you eventually did. Once you seemed comfortable in your chair, he continued the conversation again.

“Our conscious mind can process 16-bits of information per second. Our unconscious, however, can process 11 million. I can read 20,000 words per minute. So, to answer your question, yes, I’m actually able to finish reading all of them because I can read that fast.”

“Wow. You intrigued me even more now. Are you a genius or something? I bet you are.”

“I do have an IQ of 187, and eidetic memory, so you bet right.”

“Do you mind telling me what you do, genius?”

Spencer, in fact, didn’t mind at all. With a hush voice, for almost an hour, he talked about his job at the BAU, his classes, and why he spent so much time in the library (he spared the part where he once went to prison — he didn’t wish to scare you off). In return, he learned that you worked as a pediatric nurse. When you weren’t at the hospital, providing care for the little ones, you also enjoyed your day off in the library — just like him. Sometimes you even attended a pottery class. It was a new hobby you started a few months ago. You showed the mug you made in your last class a month ago. Another thing he learned was your name, just like you learned his.

Once the two of you finished sharing stories, you both fell into comfortable silence and continued reading your respective books — Spencer still needed to take a few notes for his next classes. Every now and then, he’d glance at you before going back to his notes. He noticed how sometimes you’d smile when you flipped the pages. What kind of story made you smile like that? 

Their little encounter was unfortunately cut short when you announced that you had a dinner plan with your girls. “I’ll see you around, Dr. Reid.” You slid a piece of paper his way, and then left.

You gave him your phone number.

---

It was safe to say that you visited this particular library almost at any given chance. You discovered it by accident many moons ago when you finished your work. Now, you were on a first name basis with the librarians. As a regular visitor, you’ve had your fair share of interesting stories of other visitors. Then there was him. It was impossible not to notice him, especially when he always occupied the same corner of the library whenever he visited. Not to mention the stack of books, and many many notes  on the table. There were at least 10 or 15 books on the table. Was it even possible for someone to read that many books in one sitting?

After many occasions glancing his way like a creep, you finally found the courage to approach him. You even got the chance to learn his name. Dr. Spencer Reid. What a unique name — it suited him. Aside from intelligence, you wouldn’t deny the fact that he was also easy on the eye.

There was something about Reid that made you want to stay longer in the library, but alas, you already had a plan. You had this monthly dinner with your girlfriends, where every month one of you would take turns to host the dinner at that person’s place. This month was your turn, so you needed to make sure everything was set and ready.

On your way home, you thought about how you easily gave Reid your phone number. You normally wouldn’t do that with a stranger. A male stranger to be precise. However, your gut told you that Reid wasn’t like any other men. He chose to spend his spare time reading in the library. How many men did you know who did that? Nobody. It was also probably due to the fact that he was a federal agent. The point was it wasn’t an everyday thing that you didn’t have your guards up around a stranger. Again, a male stranger.

By the time you arrived at your apartment, Reid still hadn’t texted you. Your brain came to two possibilities; he wasn’t interested in you or he already had a partner. You cringed at the thought of you openly hitting on a man who might already be in a relationship. Well, in case he didn’t text you, you’d just have to avoid that particular spot he was always on for the foreseeable future. The library was pretty big, so it shouldn’t be difficult to do that. 

A moment later, your friends started coming into your place. You cherished time like this; catching up with the girls over greasy food and wine. A cute stranger you occasionally saw in the library was long forgotten.

By the time you were getting ready for bed, you heard your phone buzzing — notifying you of a new text. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears when you noticed it was a text from an unknown number. Surely he wouldn’t text this late, right? You unlocked your phone to read the text.

Unknown Number [11:18 PM]: Hi. This is Spencer Reid. I thought about texting you sooner, but you mentioned that you’re having a girl’s night and I don’t know how long it’ll normally take for you. I once babysat my colleague’s son so she could have a girl’s night with the other female colleagues — they practically went home the next day. My point is, I don’t want to interrupt your time with your friends. Anyway, I hope you had a fun night.

You blinked, then reread the text a few times. You found the entire situation funny. Not long ago, you convinced yourself that he wasn’t interested, and practically planned the best way to avoid him in the library. Then here he was. Explaining his train of thought on why he hadn’t texted sooner. Was this how he treated all the women who gave their numbers to him? This had to be too good to be true. You responded to him anyway.

You [11:23 PM]: How thoughtful of you, Dr. Reid. In fact, I just finished cleaning up my place like half an hour ago. Now, I’m getting ready for bed. Oh, I also had fun with my girls.

You didn’t have to wait long to get a response from him.

Reid [11:24 PM]: I’m glad you had fun. You should have that rest. Good night.

---

There wasn’t much text exchanged between the two of you since that night. You both only texted when either of you had the time to do it. On his part, he mostly sent you random facts about any states he traveled to when he was on cases. It was like a subtle way to tell you his whereabouts, if you were being honest.

However, since you started working on the night shift, you were usually still asleep when he texted. You’d reply way later, and he was most likely deep in the case files. The cherry on top was you work on the weekend this time around, so even when he was back in town, you couldn’t casually go to the library to see him since it was in the opposite direction from the hospital you worked at.

Between his constant traveling and your long-hour shift, you hadn’t gotten the chance to see him again. It’s been a month and a half since you last saw him. 

One Friday evening, when you were getting ready to go to work, you received an unexpected text from him.

Reid [5:34 PM]: What about we grab a light meal before your shift tomorrow? We can go somewhere close to the hospital so you won’t be late. You [5:35 PM]: Are you asking me on a date, Doc? Reid [5:36 PM]: Um, yes? I mean, if you want it to be. You [5:38 PM]: It’s a date then. I know a good coffee shop that also has delicious sandwiches close to the hospital. I’ll send you the details.

Honestly, you didn’t expect him to ask you on a date. Well, at least not that fast. But you wouldn’t complain anyway. You got yourself a date with a hot Doctor.

You exchanged a few texts while you were on your way to the hospital. He informed you that he just wrapped up a case in Miami, but the team decided to stay there one more night, so he’d be back first thing in the morning. He never really told you about the cases he worked on, that was understandable — mostly only informed you where he was and when he was coming back.

In return, you told him about your day; things that you were most excited about, or something you wanted to try to avoid doing. For example, you told him that tonight you’d help setting up the stuff for the treasure hunt event. Although you wouldn’t witness the event in person, since it’d be tomorrow during the day shift, you still got to do the fun part; hiding all the treasures. You texted some more until you told Spencer that your shift was about to start.

---

Spencer glanced at the clock on the wall one last time; 2:38 PM. You’ve instructed him to meet you at the coffee shop at 4:00 PM. If he headed there now, it’d take approximately an hour and 7 minutes. He definitely wouldn’t be late, and still gave him a reasonable time to be early. He smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles on his sweater vest before heading out.

On his way to the coffee shop, he’d unconsciously kept running his palms on his sweater vest, trying to fix his hair, or gripping the strap of his bag a little too tight. He wasn’t anxious for the date per se, but the fact that it’d be his first date after prison. He was still in the process of adjusting to his post prison life, obviously didn’t expect to go on a date this soon. He wasn’t even sure what had gotten into himself when he asked you out.

He could see the sign of the coffee shop. When he stepped inside, he spotted you immediately. Sitting at one of the tables, jotting down something on the same notebook, he believed it to be the same one you brought to the library the first time he saw you. He slowly approached you, then softly called your name so he wouldn’t startle you.

You looked up when you heard his voice, and instantly beamed at the sight of him. “Reid! You made it.”

As Spencer sat on the chair across from you, he heard you chuckling. “What? Is there something funny?”

“Are you always this formal?” You vaguely gestured at his general direction. “I feel underdressed in my plain t-shirt and scrub pants.”

He could feel the warmth on his cheeks. “I don’t really own casual outfits. Besides, you’re about to go to work after this. It’s completely understandable that you’re wearing scrubs.” 

“I’m teasing you, Doctor. The sweater vest looks good on you.” You threw a playful wink at him. “You should order something.”

Spencer went back to the table with his order. Both of you enjoyed your meals while talking about various topics. You told him about when the night shift nurses went shopping for the treasure hunt event, the upcoming pottery class that you’d attend on your next day off, and finally got the chance to tell him in detail about the girl’s night at your place. In return, he told you about the funny stories when his team went out to the bar the other day, what kind of topics he’d probably teach for his next classes and his attempt to clean his bookshelf which ended up with him mostly reading than actually doing the cleaning.

It was refreshing to talk to someone outside of the team, who didn’t fully understand the horror he faced almost every day. For a brief moment, he wasn’t BAU’s resident genius, but was simply a man in his late 30s having a normal conversation with someone he found attractive, you. In addition to that, he surprisingly enjoyed it. He liked listening to your stories, discovering shared interests, or challenging him to do something outside of his routine.

Contrary to his team’s belief, Spencer did go on dates every now and then. Well, maybe not as frequent as Morgan used to. He just hasn’t found someone that really piqued his interest, or lucky enough to go on more dates with the same woman to eventually make the relationship official. But it was different with you. He adored how expressive you were — your expressions changed according to the stories you shared. When you talked about something that made you excited, then your whole face lit up; you’d smile from ear to ear, and your eyes sparked with so much joy. When you talked about the sad puppy story you read online, however, the light in your eyes dimmed, and your voice was shaky. He had to restrain himself from reaching out for your hand to comfort you.

He didn’t know how long they’ve sat in this coffee shop, but one thing he knew for sure was he already planned on how to ask you for a second date and where to take you — if you agreed, of course.

The two of you were surprised when the alarm on your phone went off. “Oops. I guess the date is unfortunately over.”

“Did you set an alarm for the date?” He was amused by what just happened.

“Yeah. In case we lost track of time. I still need to go to work after all.”

“Are you walking to the hospital?” You looked confused with the question, but nodded as an answer. “Okay. I’ll walk with you there.”

“Are you sure?” He only smiled at you, then stood up.

It was a short 15-minute walk to the hospital, yet it was filled with another conversation. Mostly him listening to your complaint about how this was going to be another long shift. But Spencer knew there was a lack of annoyance in your words. You loved your job, just like he did his.

The two of you eventually reached the hospital. You turned to face him. There was a brief awkward silence there.

“Thank you, Reid. I had fun today. Definitely a great way to start my shift.”

“I had fun too.” You were about to bid farewell when he called your name. “I’d like to do this again sometime. Preferably soon. With you, of course.”

You didn’t even bother to hide the smile on your face. “Well, between the two of us, your work schedule is more unpredictable. Just let me know when you’re free from catching the bad guy, and I’ll let you know when my shift changes.”

He grinned at your answer. “Right. I’ll definitely do that.”

You started walking backward while waving at him. “Bye Reid! See you around.”

That grin on his face stayed in place as he also waved at you. You eventually turned around and ran inside. Spencer couldn’t wait for that second date.

[wobblingjello]

Beyond the Scars

Summary: After the whole ordeal with Tobias Hankel, Spencer was struggling to navigate his life back on track, especially when he was alone in his apartment. One night, he got a surprise visit from a familiar face.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Elle Greenaway 

Word Count: 2033

Warnings: Spencer was going through a withdrawal. Ambiguous ending, but a hopeful one.

Author Notes: I ADORE Spencer & Elle so much!! I was craving for some of their fanfics the other day, and ended up writing one myself.

These days, Spencer had trouble sleeping on his own bed. More often than not, he fell asleep on the couch. Just like tonight. A knock on his door woke him up. He let out a whine at the sound that rudely interrupted his sleep. With one eye open, he looked at the clock on the opposite wall. It was almost midnight. What kind of person needed him at this hour? Maybe if he didn’t respond, whoever knocked on his door would think he wasn’t home.

He was about to go back to sleep when he heard her voice. He froze. He was sure it was his mind playing tricks on him. There was no way she’d be here, knocking on his door, at this hour. But then there was another knock, followed by her voice again.

With tentative steps, Spencer dragged himself to open the door. The moment the door was opened, he felt a huge lump in his throat. There she was, standing in front of him.

“Elle.”

They both stood there, stared at each other, and no words uttered for what felt like an eternity. His big brain couldn’t even help him in this situation. Should he say or do something? 

“Can I come in?” Thankfully Elle broke the silence first, because clearly, he didn’t know what to do.

Without a word he stepped aside to let her in. Once she was in, Spencer locked the door again. It was jarring to see her in his apartment. Scratch that. It was jarring to see her. Period. After her sudden departure from the bureau, he never expected to see her ever again. His hands itched to do something; to brush her hair, to caress her check, or even to reach for her hand and kiss her knuckles. He simply wanted to feel her; making sure that she was real, and he wasn’t imagining things. 

“What are you doing here, Elle?” Spencer finally found his voice back, but it still sounded like a whisper.

“Morgan told me what happened. I wanted to contact you first, but I wasn’t even sure I could make it, so opted not to. I also tried to come sooner, but I couldn’t.”

He didn’t expect that from her — that she cared enough about him to actually check up on him. Spencer opened his mouth, trying to respond, but nothing came out, so he tightly closed his mouth. He repeated the same motion, but still ended up with the same outcome. He gave up after the second try. What response should he give her? 

“How about we sit down, hm?” Elle eventually reached out to Spencer, and led him back to the couch.

Even once they were seated, she didn’t let him go. He looked down at their intertwined hands on her lap. Then it finally sunk in; she was real. Elle was here, sitting on his couch in his living room.

Elle was patient. She waited until he was fully ready to talk, letting him organize his thoughts first. He didn’t even know where he should begin. Should he tell her from the moment they received the case or how it all went south for him?

She gently called his name, and lifted up his chin so he’d look at her instead. “I told you earlier that I know what happened. But Morgan only told me the basics, not the whole picture. Will you tell me what actually happened?”

Spencer hesitated, but with a shaky voice, he eventually started talking. It was more like whispering than talking, honestly. She had to lean in closely, so she wouldn’t miss anything he said. Once Spencer started, he couldn’t stop. As if, this whole time he’s been waiting for someone to actually listen to him.

So he told her everything; the case, Tobias Hankel, his other personalities, how Tobias got him, and what he did to Spencer when Tobias held him hostage in the cabin. Most importantly, what Spencer did after all of that. At some point, he was shaking, and choking on his own words. Elle squeezed his hand as a reminder that she was here with him, and he was safe.

Once he was done retelling everything that happened, he looked so defeated. Elle pulled him into her embrace. One hand rubbed his back, the other stroked his hair in soothing motions. It didn’t take long for Spencer to start sobbing. She didn’t care that her sweater was now wet from all his tears. She allowed him to take all the time he needed to cry and process his emotions. Even when she noticed he had stopped crying, she let the silence stay a bit longer. Allowing him to feel safe in her embrace.

“Reid, look at me.” She pushed him, forcing him to meet her eyes. “While you might have made questionable actions, I’m not here to judge you. I want to help you. Will you let me help you?”

“I don’t know if I can, Elle.” He sounded so broken, it pained her.

“You don’t have to go through this alone. That’s exactly why I’m here.”

“Okay.” She wasn’t sure whether he actually agreed with her or he was just too tired to argue. But she’d take that for now.

“Let’s get you to bed.”

Tucked in his bed, Spencer looked small, almost like a child. Retelling the traumatic event that was still fresh in his mind surely drained his energy. He’d probably fall back to sleep soon. Elle was about to leave the room, and situated herself on the couch when he suddenly grabbed her hand.

“Please stay here.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but this time she heard it just fine.

She hesitated for a brief moment, but decided to join him in bed. “Well, Dr. Reid, you better scoot over then.”

Once she was in bed, facing each other, he looked at her with pleading eyes. Like Spencer wanted to ask her something but was afraid to say it. Understanding what he needed, she reached for him. Elle loosely held him, his head safely buried in the crook of her neck. She ran her fingers through his hair like she did back in the living room, in hope it’d help lull him to sleep. After a few minutes, she felt his breath even out. She let herself stay awake a bit longer, just to fully absorb this moment.

The next day, as per Elle’s suggestion, Spencer took some time off. He was currently curled up on the couch while she was making breakfast for the both of them. She had to physically pull him out of his bed, so he wouldn’t lock himself up in his bedroom unsupervised. It hurt seeing him like this.

Although she was still keeping in touch with some of the BAU members, Elle didn’t expect a call from Morgan the other day. What surprised her even more was the reason he called. She knew then that there was something he didn’t tell her. Now that she knew everything that Spencer went through, she wanted to yell at Morgan, and the entire BAU, honestly.

5 weeks. That was how long he had suffered alone from the things that happened to him. She was mad for him. How could they turn a blind eye on him? Did they expect him to simply bounce back? To figure things out on his own because he was supposedly the genius in the team? Truthfully, if she hadn’t made peace with how poorly the BAU handled her situation, she wouldn’t be the bigger person and do this for him. He didn’t deserve to be treated the way she did.

After that phone call with Morgan, Elle informed her new boss that she needed a few days to work from home due to urgent personal reasons. Fortunately, he understood her situation. He approved her request under two conditions; she needed to complete her current task and finished the report before she left. It took her 4 days in total before she drove herself to Spencer’s place.

Once breakfast was ready, Elle gently took his hand and led him to the dining table. She tried to keep the conversation going throughout breakfast, but Spencer mostly only responded with hums or one-word answers. Two-word answers if she was lucky. She didn’t mind. It proved that he at least somewhat listened to her — not lost in his own mind.

When they were done with breakfast, they made their way back to the couch. Elle asked if he wanted to play chess with her, and he only shrugged as an answer. She took that as a yes, then set the chess board between them. They played in silence for a while, until she initiated the conversation once again.

“Reid—” She was about to say something when he suddenly asked her with a hush voice.

“Why are you doing this?”

She didn’t answer him immediately. Debating how she should tell him. He stared at her with an expected look.

“I need you to carefully listen to what I’m about to say, and not interrupt me, okay?” Once he gave her a nod, she continued. “You listened to me when I needed it the most. After I left, you’re the only one who’s been consistent in reaching out to me, even when I never responded to your texts or letters.”

She held up her hand. She knew that he was about to interrupt her. “I read them all, you know. I kept your letters in a special box. I just didn’t have the courage to response.”

“I don’t think I’ve done enough to help you.” He murmured, most likely to himself.

“Reid, your texts and letters are the constant reminders that someone out there cares about me. You care. I’m not doing this because I feel like I owe you or something. I simply want to.”

“Thank you, Elle.” She merely smiled at him before they continued their game.

She stayed at Spencer’s apartment for another 3 days. They’ve created quite a routine. When Elle needed to do her work, she’d stay on his dining table, while he spent most of his time reading on the couch. Occasionally, he’d read on the dining table — wanting to be close with her. When she was done with work, she’d join him on the couch; they either played chess or read.

Elle would cook their meals, and sometimes Spencer would help her too. He started responding to her in a full sentence instead of a few words — even initiated the conversation a few times. She took each progress he made as a small win, and Elle would remind him each time. She still held him when they slept, and Spencer liked that. A lot. He felt safe, and started to believe that things would be okay. That he would be okay.

When the day Elle had to go home came, Spencer looked like a lost puppy. Even though she had countlessly reminded him she was just one call away. She’d answer the phone call whenever Spencer needed someone to talk to. Elle even said she’d write him letters too if he wanted. She also told him that he could come over to her place if he ever felt trapped in his apartment, and needed somewhere else to go.

“I could show you where I kept your letters.”

“I’d like that.”

They once again stood face to face in his front door. But this time, things have changed. The tension between them felt lighter. She could see a glimpse of hope in his beautiful hazel eyes. He would get through this, and she’d be there with him every step of the way.

Elle caressed his cheek one last time, and Spencer instantly leaned into her touch. “See you around, Spencer.”

Two weeks later, as he went through the stack of letters he had received when he was away for a case, Spencer nearly dropped everything when he saw a letter from Elle. There was a photo alongside her letter.

I adopted a tuxedo cat the other day. Meet Apollo. This is my formal invitation for you to visit me and meet Apollo. Love, Elle.

[wobblingjello]

I wish he wore glasses more often, especially in the later seasons 🤧

spencer reid + glasses

[wobblingjello]

[wobblingjello]

The hottest thing a man can do is be a awkward little nerd 

[wobblingjello]

i need that nerd bad !!!!

[wobblingjello]

The one question that's been stuck in my head is "Does this Spencer still use his old, way outdated phone?" 😭

[wobblingjello]

Operation Heartstrings

Summary: You were the newest member of BAU. When the team was dealing with a case of serial killer, with victims that looked similar to you, you volunteered to lure the UnSub out.

Genre: General with a dash of hurt/comfort

Pairing: Spencer Reid/BAUFem!Reader

Word Count: 3449

Warnings: Typical CM crime stuff (mentioned of method killing, etc), reader went on undercover & Spence was against the idea, (required) unrequited love

Author Notes: This is my first CM fanfic (!!!), no proofread, please pardon any grammar mistakes. In my head, I wanted Spence to feel ready to open up himself for a new relationship. Thus it  happened in Season 11 — waaaay after the Maeve arc. I don’t know, it makes sense in my head… Nonetheless, I had so much fun writing this! I hope you enjoy it!!!

A month ago, freshly out of your final undercover assignment for the Sex Crime Unit, you were transferred to the BAU. It’s been quite a challenge to adjust to your new lifestyle. After 4 years working for the Sex Crime Unit, you were so used to being on an assignment for months or even a year — no contact with people in your life, aside from a few agents in your team. This month alone, you’ve visited your parents twice — more than what you’ve done in the last 2 years. You also have reconnected with your closest friends, and had planned to meet up soon. You still traveled for work, but it was usually only for a few days or a week. If you were lucky (was it even propriate to say the word lucky when you were dealing with criminals?), the team took on local cases and didn’t even need to leave DC. Well, in your one month in the BAU, you haven’t experienced this yet.

The last few days were one of those rare days, or at least that was what the rest of the team said, where they didn’t have to work on cases. They were mostly dealing with paperwork, or consulting the other teams with their expertise. Today also happened to be Friday, thus Penelope insisted the team should have dinner together.

“We haven’t had our family dinner in ages! Plus, it’s been a month since our sweet girl joined the team. That’s worth a celebration!”

So, tonight, you found yourself at Rossi’s house, enjoying his delicious home cooked meals and wine, with the rest of the team. JJ was even kind enough to buy a cake on the way — saying it wouldn’t be a proper celebration without a cake.

Once done with dinner, everyone was gathering at the patio with a glass of wine on hand. Everyone was determined to talk about anything but work. This wasn’t the time to bring the horror of your work into conversations. They were talking about Rossi and the upcoming book he was working on, hence you were rather taken aback when Derek suddenly stirred the conversation to you.

“So, sweet girl, is there anyone special in your life?”

“Derek Morgan, thank you for bringing that up! I’ve been dying to ask her that!” Penelope immediately chimed in.

You could feel the heath creeping onto your cheeks from the sudden attention — sipping your wine to buy you some time.

“Hmm, no?” In a room full of profilers, you knew they didn’t believe what you said. You weren’t even convinced with your own answer.

Next to JJ, you could see Tara raising her perfect brow, “Really? Not even a casual date?”

“Yup.” Popping the p sound. “I rather spend my spare time catching up with my parents now.”

The rest of the team gave you an understanding look. They knew how you’ve been working your arse off to reconnect with the closest people in your life, especially your parents.

What really caught your attention throughout that brief conversation though, was Spencer. Not only did he closely listen to your answers, he also observed the way you reacted to the questions and how you answered them. Like he was truly interested in you.

Spencer was like a puzzle that you were trying to solve. As a new member to the team, you understood that everyone had their own pace to fully welcome you. By the second week, however, almost all the team members have warmed up to you. Well, expect Spencer. You’ve voiced your concern on the girl’s night the week prior. JJ has ensured you that Spencer just couldn’t take changes really well, and you needed to give him more time to adjust with the new team dynamics. Tara also gently reminded you that she understood how it felt like to be in your shoes.

For the rest of the night, you felt his gaze upon you every now and then — even when you weren’t the center of the conversation. You simply concluded perhaps that was his own unique way of showing that he also wanted to get to know you, and welcomed you to the team.

You shrugged those thoughts off and let yourself enjoy the precious time with the team.

---

Time passed by since the dinner at Rossi’s place almost two months ago. You didn’t give much of a thought about how Spencer behaved that night or afterwards. Until, you slowly picked up the changes in Spencer’s behaviors towards you. Furthermore, you felt more comfortable approaching him — no longer feeling anxious that he might give you a cold-shoulder.

They were subtle at first, like more often than not, he greeted you first when you stepped into the bullpen or initiated the conversations. He was more comfortable to sit next to you on the jet or when you rode the same SUV. Then they escalated to things that were, dared you say, more personal. He knew exactly how you took your coffee and tea. He also remembered things you mentioned in passing — things you didn’t even remember saying — like what happened the other day on the jet on their way back to DC after closing a case.

After he called your name to get your attention, he nonchalantly said, “Didn’t the novel you mentioned before just released today? If you weren’t that exhausted, perhaps, you should check the bookstore on your way home.”

You were completely drained from the case, you had forgotten about the novel. He most likely remembered it due to his eidetic memory, but obviously he didn’t have to remind you about it. Yet he still did. You knew for a fact that you were blushing when he said that. At least you managed to tell him that maybe you’d do just that afterwards. You didn’t. You didn’t even have the power left to drive yourself back; you had to get a taxi.

The changes you noticed weren’t coming from him alone. You were also aware of how you started behaving around him. You got excited when you could keep up with him during a discussion or you’d actually listen to him when he started rambling about, well, anything. The obvious one would be the many shades of red that colored your cheeks whenever he said or did something nice to you. You had a crush on BAU’s very own genius, Dr. Spencer Reid. 

Today, as you walked into the bullpen, you noticed there was a blue box on your desk. Your brows frowned at the box,  it was a box from your favorite bakery, clearly had no idea who left it there. You looked at Spencer, who sat on his desk, across from yours, and had his nose glued to a book.

“Spence.” He looked up from his book, and hummed as a response. “Do you know who left this here?”

He beamed at you. “I did. I noticed your favorite bakery recently opened a new branch close to my apartment, so I bought this mouth-watering box for you on my way here.”

You didn’t know what kind of response you expected from him, but that surely wasn’t. You were too stunned to speak, so he continued his little speech.

“I wasn’t sure what to get for you, so I chose what I thought you’d like.”

Finally got your brain back to work and found your voice, you responded, “Thanks, Spence. That’s so thoughtful of you.”

“Tell me which ones are your favorites, so I’ll know for future reference.”

A shade of crimson red adorned your cheeks. Yet another answer you didn’t expect. “You don’t have to.”

“I know. But I want to.” 

Derek chose that exact moment to step into the bullpen. Clearly amused by the interaction. “Did I just witness Pretty Boy flirting with you?”

Before either of you could respond, Penelope called the 3 of you to gather at the roundtable. There was a case coming your way.

---

It’s been 4 days. 4 days since the team flew to Cleveland to assist the local PD with a case of serial killer. 3 women were murdered in the last 2 weeks. All of them were single and in their late 20s. The cause of death was multiple stabs on the chest. From the ME report, the team also learned that the victims had consensual sex with the UnSub. He charmed the victims to leave the bar with him willingly. Unknown to the victims, they unfortunately signed their own death certificate by going with him. Then they were dumped at random public areas after they were murdered. 

Yesterday, they discovered another one. After further investigation on Penelope’s end, apparently all the victims went to the same bar downtown the day before the body was found. They’ve located the UnSub’s hunting ground. The UnSub was also consistent with his schedule — taking a two day cooling period before hunting his next target.

Aside from the similarity of their appearance, and the last place they visited, there was no overlap between each victim — they were all victims of opportunity. They’ve also come to the conclusion that the victims were a surrogate for someone in the UnSub’s life. Someone who had rejected and/or betrayed him. But there was something the team hadn’t dared to say out loud. All the victims looked like you.

“We know where and when our Unsub will strike again. I can go undercover and lure him out.” You suggested with no hesitation.

Everyone stopped whatever they were doing then stared at you. The sudden shift of their attention to you made you feel uneasy.

“Are you sure?” Hotch asked you in his usual neutral tone, but you could detect the concern.

“Positive.”

“No.” Spencer opposed the idea.

“Spence. I fit the victimology perfectly.”

“It’s too risky.”

“I’m trained exactly for this. If he sticks to his pattern, he’ll kill another innocent woman tomorrow night. This is our best chance to stop him!”

“Or it could be your body that we’d find in 2 days!” Spencer slammed the table and then left the conference room.

The room once again went silent, but this time the silence filled with higher tension. You stood still next to the victim board while staring at the door.

“You know you don’t have to volunteer for that, right?” Rossi broke the silence.

“Yes, and I’ll still do that. Surely I don’t need anyone’s permission to do it. Not even Spencer’s.”

When it was decided that you’d go undercover tomorrow night, Spencer still hasn’t gone back to the conference room. Did he go back to the hotel? You had no idea where he went. You didn’t even understand why he was against the idea to begin with. As if sensing your worry, Derek informed you that he was fine — just needed to cool himself off.

Once Spencer was informed that the rest of the team had made it back to the hotel, Hotch instructed him to go to the hotel lobby. He reread the text a few times. Did Hotch want to discuss something with him? Was he in trouble!?

With heavy steps, Spencer walked to the hotel lobby. He spotted Hotch sitting at one of the armchairs in the corner — Spencer sat himself across from him.

“You want to discuss something with me?” Spencer said the moment he sat down.

“I need to brief you for the undercover tomorrow night.”

Considering they still had no solid leads in this case yet, logically, Spencer knew this was the best shot they have. However, he still disliked the idea that you’d put yourself in direct danger. With no response coming out of his mouth, Hotch decided to explain the plan right away.

“The plan is to have 2 additional agents inside the bar, while the rest of the team and the local PD will be standing by around the bar. Lewis is our first choice, as for the second one, it’s either you or Morgan. You decide.”

“I’ll monitor from inside the bar.” He said it like it was the most obvious answer.

“Good. I’ll let Morgan know. You can go back to your room.”

Spencer only took 3 steps from his previous spot, when Hotch called him.

“Reid.” He turned around. “I don’t normally pry the team’s personal life, but don’t let your feelings throw your judgement off.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Back in his hotel room, Spencer was pondering what Hotch just told him. Was it that obvious to everyone? Were you even aware of his feelings? He thought he was doing fine concealing his feelings. As someone with eidetic memory, people would probably assume he’d remember when was the exact moment he had developed a crush on you. The truth was, he wasn’t even sure when. One day you were a new member to the team, and the next thing he knew, he just couldn’t be away from you. Released one last long heavy breath, he let his tiredness take him to sleep. He needed his sharp mind tomorrow night, so he could prevent anything bad from happening to you.

---

The tension at the local PD was high. Some of the officers already left for the bar — canvassing the area one last time before they went to their respective post. The BAU team went over the plan one more time before they proceeded with it. Spencer suggested that he and Lewis should go there ahead, so they could get a better view of their surroundings. He needed to make sure he could keep his eyes on you the entire time. He didn’t say that last part out loud, obviously. 

Spencer and Lewis managed to secure a table at the center with a clear view of almost the entire place, including the bar area where you’ll be at. The place started getting crowded, and through his earpiece, Spencer heard Hotch instructing you to get inside. The moment you stepped inside, his eyes were instantly on you — watching your every move until you sat down.

It didn’t take long for a man to approach you — Spencer and Lewis were on high alert. He was clearly interested in you. Spencer knew it was an act on your part, but he hated how well you flirted back with him. Garcia’s voice in his earpiece grounded him back to the present.

“Guys, I think I’ve found our UnSub. Daniel Clark, 34 year-old. 3 years ago, his ex-girlfriend, Amanda, cheated on him with a guy named Eric. She met the other guy at that said bar. 6 months later, Amanda and Eric moved out to Boston. They got engaged last month. She also looked exactly like the victims.”

“That’s one hell of a stressor.” JJ added in.

“I sent their photos to your devices.”

Lewis showed the photos to Spencer, and the same guy that was currently talking to you was certainly the UnSub. They confirmed that to the team, and Hotch immediately gave instructions one after another. You got up and walked with him towards the back door — Spencer and Lewis following you not far behind.

It all happened too fast. One moment, Derek was shouting — announcing their presence. You heard more shouting, then you felt the UnSub put the knife on your neck. That was when you heard a gunshot. You weren’t aware who fired that gun, and frankly didn’t really care. Then there he was, the UnSub, laying on the ground. Not death, but he was unconscious.

You could feel your legs weakening. Before you fell into the ground, strong arms steadied you.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

“Spence?”

“Yes. I’ve got you, sweetheart. It’s over.” 

Spencer wouldn’t leave your side. Not when the EMT checked on you or even after they told him that you were fine.

If the team noticed he walked you back to your hotel room and helped you pack your bag, then nobody said anything.

No one mentioned a thing when he held your hand in the SUV and carried your bag to the jet either.

You sat alone in a seat at the very back of the jet. Spencer brought a cup of hot chocolate as he sat across from you. He didn’t try to talk to you — simply offered you his companion, which you greatly appreciated. You vaguely heard him telling you to get some rest, before you eventually fell asleep.

Back in DC, Spencer insisted on driving you back. You didn’t even bother to argue with him. You just followed him to the parking lot.

The ride to your place was mostly silent. The sound from the radio was the only source of sound that filled the car. Once again, Spencer understood that you didn’t want to talk yet. You could feel he glanced at you every now and then while he drove though. You didn’t think you’d ever see him drive when the team was out in the field. The fact that he voluntarily offered to drive you home did something to your heart. It certainly didn’t help with your silly little crush on him.

He walked you all the way inside of your apartment — dropping your bag on the couch. He looked awkward standing in the middle of your living room, but somehow you didn’t think he was out of place. You liked seeing him in your place, like he belonged here.

You finally broke your silence. “Spence, thank you for having my back, and being so nice to me.”

As he walked towards you, it seemed like he wanted to reach out to your hand, but he refrained himself from doing so. “It’s nothing. I just don’t like seeing you in danger.”

“It’s a bit difficult to achieve considering our job, isn’t it?” You tried to lighten up the mood, but he only gave you a stern look.

Eventually given in to the temptation, you reached out to his hand — brushing the back of his hand with your thumb. You felt his hand squeezed yours. Encouraging you to say whatever was in your mind.

“You called me sweetheart earlier.” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

You heard him chuckling. “I did. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No. I liked it.”

“Yeah?” 

You only hummed to his question. The two of you were so close this way. You wondered what he saw in you at the moment. Could he tell how nervous you were? Was he nervous? Spencer surprised you when his other hand caressed your cheek.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He spoke again. “I like you. I believe the rest of the team knows, or at least Hotch knows. He gave me a bit of wisdom the other night.”

You looked rather confused with what he just said. “He did? What did he say?”

“Sweetheart, I just admitted that I like you, and you asked about Hotch?” He teased you. He didn’t sound offended by your response.

“Well, I like you too, Dr. Reid.” It felt great to say that out loud.

The next thing you knew, you were being held in his embrace. His arms loosely wrapped around your waist, and he rested his chin on top of  your head. This was comforting. You wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while.

“I don’t want to mess this up. I haven’t felt like this since… Well, ages ago. I want to take you on a date.”

Since Maeve. That was the truth that he left unsaid, but you wouldn’t mention it. “A date sounds nice.”

“I can arrange that when we get a day off.” Spencer pushed you a little bit, just so he could see you. There, you saw the emotions reflecting in his eyes — you felt lost in them already. “It’s late. I better get going.”

You wanted to argue that you rather had him stay the night, but you didn’t say that. He was right, of course he was, you didn’t want to mess this up as well. So, you walked him to your door instead. As he was standing outside, ready to leave, you kissed him on the cheek. His cheek felt warm against your lips, and you bet the same warmth spread on your own cheeks. 

“Good night, Spence.”

“Good night.”

You watched him walking down the stairs while he awkwardly waved at you. Despite the awkwardness, you noticed his bright smile that surely matched yours.

Half an hour later, once you were done showering, you walked to your bedroom with your phone in hand. There was one new message from Spencer, notifying you that he safely made it back to his own place. You drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face that night.

[wobblingjello]

Let's be friends ‼️‼️

Hey!!! Han here. I'd like to connect with those who like Criminal Minds ‼️ I sadly don't have real life friends to talk about this show, so I'm gonna find ones online 😗

PS: Bonus points if you're Indonesian (who knows maybe we could meet up 🥺) & if Spence is your favorite character hehe.

[wobblingjello]

I need him to make a sudden (creepy) entrance to my life 😔