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[wonwuism]

Chapter 3.

Tuesday | NYC Institute of the Arts | Rooftop Café17 | 01:47 pm

“I’m not saying tie dye is ugly, I’m just saying there’s a reason it’s never been used in fashion before. Like, ever.”

“Sounds like you just think it’s ugly.”

Wonwoo wasn’t really paying attention to his friends. Whenever Vernon and Minghao started yet another discussion about fashion he usually zoned out into his own thoughts until they decided to let him decide who was right, as if he understood what they were even talking about. There was a good reason that he designed games and they designed clothing.

“Wonwoo what do you think about multi colored clothes?” Wonwoo looked over at his friends and thought for a second.

“Depends. If you’re talking about color blocking, I love it. If you’re asking me if I think Vernons shirt is ugly. I do. I hate it.” Minghao threw his head back in laughter and clapped his hands so loud, people around them started looking where the sound was coming from.

“You’re both assholes, you know that right?” Vernon took an angry bite from his chicken sandwich. Wonwoo chewed on his cheek instead. He wasn’t hungry today. It had been three days since he scribbled his e-mail address on a post it note for Mingyu to take. He wasn’t even sure why he was thinking about it so much, but just the thought of Mingyu never actually sending the pictures kept running through his mind. After thinking about it for another five minutes he couldn’t take it any longer.

“Hey guys?” The two mouths that had been excitedly talking about their weekend and the weird night out they’d had both shut and his friends shifted their focus on Wonwoo now.

“How long do you think it takes for a photographer to, you know, edit pictures?” Minghao raised his eyebrows in suspicion, since this was so obviously not a Wonwoo kind of question. Vernon, however, never really questioned anything and reacted right away.

“Well, it depends on how many shots they took and how much editing those shots need in terms of photoshop and stuff.”

“They’re just portrait shots of one guy that someone took at the shop. I was wondering when he’s going to e-mail them to me.” Vernon opened his mouth to answer, but Minghao beat him to it. As usual he could see right through Wonwoo as well as Jun did. It was something about his Chinese friends that made it impossible to hide things from them.

“Are you waiting for the pictures or for him to contact you?” It was Vernons turn to raise his eyebrows now and before Wonwoo could even think of an answer, Minghao spoke again.

“You’re usually never impatient, much less when it’s about something you don’t really care about, like, I don’t know, pictures from the flower shop. Spill it Wonwoo, who is this guy.”

Wonwoo let out a breath. They got him. He shouldn’t have asked them about it and just waited it out. Now he was going to tell them all about his dumb crush and they were going to ask him about it all the time. He could feel the panic under his skin, knocking at his bones again, but he calmed himself down. He wasn’t going to let it get to him over something as silly as this. Vernon and Minghao were his friends and even though they didn’t know about his anxiety disorder, they wouldn’t make fun of him for anything. They never judged anyone and they wouldn’t start now.

“Okay, so-“ Two bodies turned his way dramatically. “All I know really, is that his name is Mingyu and that he’s a photographer. He said that the shots were for his portfolio as well as the model’s, so I doubt he’s a professional. Oh and he’s straight.”

“He’s straight?”

“Yeah I know, but I was already kind of crushing on him when he told me that he thinks he doesn’t like guys, so it was a little too late for me to do anything about it.”

Both boys nodded and Wonwoo saw them think about answers to questions he didn’t ask. They were looking for solutions for problems that didn’t exist yet, and even though he loved his friends for it, he didn’t need to hear their two cents on the situation, so he cut them off.

“Don’t worry though, he’ll send the pictures soon and that’ll be the end of it.”

Before another word was said, Wonwoo could see Juliette walk their way. She always walked so lightly, like nothing was weighing her down. Her brown ponytail swung across her back and she seemed to glow in the light that beamed down on the rooftop café. She was the prettiest girl Wonwoo knew. He waved at her to divert attention from his miserable story and all was forgotten when Vernon saw his girlfriend come over.

“Hey guys!” She pecked Vernon’s cheek and took a seat next to him. Vernon looked at her with stars in his eyes for a second and Wonwoo felt a little jealous as usual. Who could blame him though. The two had been in love since they talked for the first time and had been together for 5 years now, still as in love as they’d been that first day. They were the couple that handled their problems before talking to anyone else about them and the kind of couple that got along with each other’s friends well, but still gave each other enough space to live their own lives. They were the kind of couple to sit next to each other after being together for 5 years and still secretly hold hands under the table just because they liked it. It was cute.

“Hey, what’s up? Don’t you have class now?” Vernon asked. She shook her head and made a pouty face. “It got cancelled because miss Claudette fell ill. She’s my favorite teacher though, so I hope she gets better soon. And I really like her class, so I’m a little sad now.” She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her coffee. “Hey Jules?” It was Minghao. She raised her eyebrows at him and hummed a response.

“Do you know anyone in photography by the name Mingyu?” Wonwoo almost choked on his spit and avoided Vernon’s surprised look to shoot daggers from his eyes at Minghao. Juliette was sweet and he trusted her for sure, but Minghao knew that Wonwoo didn’t like talking about his personal stuff to people.

“Mingyu? Uhhhh Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu… No, I don’t think I know him. There’s a Min-gi, though. Maybe that’s the one you’re looking for?” Minghao turned to look at Wonwoo who shook his head no. “No, it’s definitely Min-gyu. Kim Mingyu, I think.”

“No, I don’t think we have anyone in the photography department with that name, sorry.” She didn’t ask any more information and Wonwoo was glad. She was like Vernon in a way that they were willing to help you as much as you needed them to, but they didn’t push you to tell them more.

“It’s okay,” he said. “It’s not really important anyway. I have to go, though. See you guys around.” He took his own empty cup and other trash off the table to throw it away and the others waved at him before he walked off. He didn’t really have to go. He was just leaving because they were talking about him too much for his liking. Wonwoo knew that they were just going to continue without him now, but as long as he wasn’t there to hear it, he didn’t really mind.

Wonwoo debated on whether to go home or to the flower shop to work on his project, but a text from Jihoon already decided for him.

Jihoon: I’m in WOOZI mode

He chuckled. Whenever he got that text he knew what time it was. Jihoon was in a huge producing flow and was making magic in their room. WOOZI was the name he produced under and this simple text let Wonwoo know not to come home for a while to not disturb the process. Some people would’ve thought it’s annoying not to be able to go home, but Wonwoo didn’t mind. It had been a while since Jihoon had sent him anything like this or let him hear a new song, so Wonwoo put his phone into his pocket and was on his way to the shop.

Tuesday | Pledis Flowers | 06:03 pm

Wonwoo was debating on what he would have for dinner. He’d been working on his game for a while without making a lot of progress for a few hours. He could get some Mexican takeout and treat Jihoon for doing well today. He was just about to text if his roommate had dinner plans yet, when his e-mail app showed a notification. Heart beating, fingers shaking, breath quickening. Wonwoo opened the e-mail and there it was. Mingyu’s name.

Hey Wonwoo!

I attached a folder with the shots I ended up choosing for my portfolio :)

I hope you like them enough to put them on the website!

I also added some tulips that I took a picture of the other day because I know you like flowers. Or I think you do, since you work in the flower shop haha

Anyway let me know what you think,

Mingyu

Wonwoo didn’t miss the way Mingyu added 10 numbers under his name. He gave Wonwoo his phone number. Wonwoo scolded himself for thinking too much about it. It just meant he preferred to discuss the pictures over the phone. That’s it.

With one click on the attached folder, Wonwoo held his breath. Jeonghan looked more like an angel than ever in these pictures. The lighting from outside hit his features perfectly and Wonwoo took a moment to appreciate the color correcting Mingyu had done to the pictures. They looked amazing and professional.

The last picture just showed an unedited shot of some pink and yellow tulips that made Wonwoo smile. He felt proud for somehow being a small part of this and he called Joshua over to show him the pictures. Seungcheol was with a customer and Wonwoo knew he didn’t really care much for the pictures anyway.

Josh stood behind him as Wonwoo opened the first one and with every new picture he could just feelJoshua go crazier. None of them said anything until the last picture was on the screen. “That’s all of them,” Wonwoo said. He looked over to his colleague to see what he could only describe as a man in love. Joshua was still staring at the screen with eyes glazed over, like his mind wasn’t really in the room anymore. “I’m in love with him. Good god, I’m so in love Wonwoo. I need to see him again.”

Wonwoo gave him a soft smile. He’d never seen Joshua like this. Usually it was all overly confident remarks and flirting, but the way he was looking at the pictures right now told Wonwoo that this time things might be different. He clicked the picture off the screen and it now showed the e-mail Mingyu sent him. He was about to close that tab, too, when Joshua stopped him.

“Wait, he gave you his phone number?” Big eyes stared at Wonwoo and he felt slightly uncomfortable at the fact that Joshua knew about it now. It had felt kind of secret before, and Wonwoo realized he actually liked it like that.

“Um, yeah, I think he wants me to let him know if I like the pictures that way.” Joshua all of a sudden seemed to be completely back into reality and he was almost shaking with excitement. “Wonwoo, this is perfect! You can help me get to Jeonghan through Mingyu! You have to call him right now! Please?”

Wonwoo thought about it. He didn’t want to ask Mingyu to help out arrange things for Joshua. Especially since he’d already mentioned he doesn’t like to get into other people’s personal business. What if he felt used or even got mad at Wonwoo for suggesting it?

“Not right now, but I’ll see what I can do, okay? But if I get too nervous about it please don’t be mad. I’m not even sure if I even have the guts to call him at all.”

Joshua nodded. He understood. “Yeah, that’s okay, just think about it, okay? You wanna grab dinner together? I’m craving pancakes.” Wonwoo shook his head no and told Josh he was probably going to treat Jihoon to Mexican food, since he worked hard today.

They talked a little about the pictures with Seungcheol while they worked on cleaning and organizing the shop and Wonwoo walked out with them to close for the day before waving them off and walking the other way to take a subway to his dorm. He decided that he’d just order takeout and pick it up before heading into the dorms without even asking Jihoon. He knew the boy probably hadn’t been outside anyway, so Wonwoo thought he could take the risk.

Tuesday | Wonwoo’s dorm room | 09:16 pm

Leftover takeout was on the floor and soft hip hop was playing in the background. Jihoon had told Wonwoo all about his new tracks and said that taking a walk the other day had really helped him out, so he decided to go for a walk every night from now on.

Wonwoo had his eyes closed and he listened to the sounds coming from Jihoons speakers. He didn’t hear the lyrics though. All Wonwoo could think about right now were ten little numbers. They spun around his head in a loop, demanding his attention. They made him nervous to no extent, but he knew they wouldn’t stop their torture until he pressed them into the screen on his phone and clicked the call button.

And he wanted to, he realized. He wanted to call Mingyu and talk about the pictures, just to hear his voice. Maybe they could talk about other things, like why Mingyu wasn’t majoring in photography and what he did do. Wonwoo didn’t know if he’d have the balls to ask about it, though. But he was going to call him right now. He had to.

Quickly, so he didn’t have any room to change his mind, Wonwoo pressed the numbers into his screen. He only saw them twice in the e-mail, but it had been enough to know them by heart already. Wonwoo blamed it on being a visual learner. With a shaky thumb he put the phone to his ear to hear it ring.

Pick up. Don’t pick up. Don’t. Don’t. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. No, don’t-

“Hello?” Shit.

“Hi, um… Is this- is this Mingyu?”

“Yeah this is he. Wait, Wonwoo is that you?” As every time, Mingyu switching to Korean made Wonwoo feel comfortable and a little light inside.

“Yeah, it’s me, hi.” He should’ve thought about what to say. This was awkward. Mingyu was going to think he’s weird. Great job Wonwoo.

“Oh hi! I’m so glad you called!” Mingyu sounded like the overexcited puppy that Wonwoo remembered, and it made him think that maybe this wasn’t all that awkward as long as Mingyu kept talking to him like this.

“Did you see the pictures I sent you? Wait, of course you did. You wouldn’t have called if you didn’t.” Wonwoo’s heart fluttered, because Mingyu was also nervous. “Yeah, I did. They were wonderful. So pretty.”

“Wonderful. I don’t think anyone’s said that about my pictures before. It sounds nice. Thank you.” It took a few seconds of silence to realize Mingyu couldn’t see him smile and Wonwoo felt a little stupid, but then Mingyu talked again and Wonwoo wondered if he didn’t hate the fact that Wonwoo was so quiet.

“So, I was thinking. I’ve been working on my portfolio for a while, but- I’m really bad at the whole design part of it. I can’t seem to make it look nice, no matter what I do. Would you, only if you want to, please help me out with it? Just give me some advice about coloring maybe, or placement? I’m really at the end of my wits here. I’ve spent hours on it already, but it still…” he laughed. “Yeah it looks like shit.”

Wonwoo laughed too. He liked that Mingyu was asking him for help. Not just because it’s him, but because it was a good thing that Mingyu wasn’t afraid to own up to his mistakes and it’s something that Wonwoo found to be a sign of good character. His mom had taught him that back when he was small. She also said Wonwoo was a little too good at it, since he saw mistakes that he didn’t even make. She was always right.

“Do you want to send it to me so I can make notes on it?”

“Actually, I think it’s best if we meet up. Is that okay with you?”

Wonwoo’s heart quickened and he tried not to breathe too fast so Mingyu would hear it. It was fine, this was fine. It was completely okay.

“You can pick the place if it makes you feel more comfortable.”

There it was again. Mingyu sensing Wonwoo’s anxiety, even through the distance of a phone call. Mingyu taking steps back to make him feel more at ease. Whether that be physical steps like the first time they met, or just a step back in his excitement over the phone, because he could tell it overwhelmed Wonwoo.

“Yeah, we can meet. I’ll think about the place. Is it okay if I text you about when and where?” All of a sudden being on the phone with Mingyu felt too close for Wonwoo and he wanted to get away from it.

“Oh, okay, yeah that should be fine. I’m available any night this week except for Friday.”

“Okay, I’ll see when I’m free. Goodnight Mingyu.”

“Wonwoo?”

“Yeah?”

“Were the flowers wonderful as well?”

Wonwoo closed his eyes so hard he saw white and all of a sudden he wanted to scream, or cry, or hit something. Mingyu was so incredibly nice to him and Wonwoo didn’t want him to. It was too much.

“They were,” he managed to squeak out.

“Good. Goodnight Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo hung up the phone and immediately a wave of panic hit him. Terrible thoughts washed over him. Thoughts that told him lies and that made him feel horrible about himself. Wonwoo curled himself up into a ball on his bed and tried to calm his breathing. The music in the background was so loud. Way too loud. But Wonwoo was frozen, so he couldn’t move to turn it down.

For twenty minutes Wonwoo panicked. His breathing went wild and his heart exploded with every beat. His hands shook and his head hurt so bad he wanted to split it in half to let out the monster hiding in his skull. After those twenty minutes his body gave up on him for the night, too exhausted to do anything else. Wonwoo fell into a restless sleep filled with scenarios in which he ruined everything.

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[wonwuism]

Chapter 2.

Saturday | Pledis Flowers | 12:00 am

Wonwoo wished he could stop checking the time every five seconds. He’d been anxious since he started his shift that morning and nothing seemed to be able to calm him down. Joshua had, of course, noticed that Wonwoo was on edge today the second he walked in.

“You look like you spent an hour longer in front of the mirror this morning. Did you actually put on make-up today? You really good, though, I’m not gonna lie. Like, really good.” After realizing the obvious embarrassment he was putting Wonwoo through, he’d stopped making remarks, but Wonwoo could see the smirk every time Joshua caught him glance at himself in the shiny surface of the coffee machine.

Saturdays usually weren’t quiet days at all, but for some reason no one seemed to want to buy any flowers today. Wonwoo was actually glad. His nerves were going through the roof and he was pretty sure that he would mess up any bouquet that needed to be made. On the other hand, he didn’t have a single thing to put his mind to right now, so every thought in his head was currently going over the thousands of possible scenarios that could play out later. Each one with a worse outcome than the last, with Wonwoo making a terrible fool out of himself.

As he was shaking his head to rid himself of the dark thoughts clouding his mind, he heard the bell to the shop ring and felt a breeze come in from the opening door. He turned his head towards the sound and felt his heart stop for a second. Mingyu was standing in the doorway with a camera in his hands and the hairs on his head dancing a little in the wind. He happily raised his hand to greet Wonwoo, who waved back with a shy smile. As Mingyu stepped inside, another man was revealed. Wonwoo had to blink a few times to make sure he was actually seeing him, and it wasn’t an angel he was looking at.

The boy from the picture seemed to glow in the light from outside. He had hair that was almost white and was wearing a pearly white shirt to match. All he was missing was a pair of wings if you asked Wonwoo. He felt incredibly insecure, looking at these two beautiful men. It made him hyperaware of the old polo shirt he had to put on for work and the slight bronze eyeshadow he’d dusted on his lids this morning. Before he could run away though, Mingyu and his companion were already walking his way. The thought of literally hiding behind Joshua went through his mind, but upon looking at his colleague, he closed his eyes in disappointment for a second. It seemed like Joshua wasn’t going to pay Wonwoo any attention today.

Joshua’s eyes were fixed on the angel next to Mingyu. Of course they were, Wonwoo thought to himself. The boy was exactly Joshua’s type, from his clothing to his sharp facial features. His long lashes and shiny lips. His slender figure and wavy locks that fell in front of his eyes, that he pushed back in style with long, thin fingers.

Joshua pushed past Wonwoo and reached his hand out to the stranger. “Hi, I’m Joshua, welcome to Pledis Flowers!” The man didn’t seem overwhelmed by Joshua’s spontaneity at all, which to Wonwoo was a strange concept. His face, which had seemed a little nervous before, broke. The corners of his mouth turned up into an attractive, comfortable smile, and he put his hand in Joshua’s. “Hi, Jeonghan. Are you the one that helped Mingyu pick the flowers yesterday? He was right, you are indeed very handsome.”

Wonwoos eyes went wide and he looked over at Mingyu to see him turn a fantastic shade of red. Mingyu opened his mouth but all that came out was a little strangled noise from the back of his throat as he looked at Wonwoo in a slight panic. Joshua threw his head back and laughed loudly, breaking the uncomfortable mood that hung between them.

“No, actually, that would be our boy Wonwoo over there.” He turned to point at him, and Wonwoo wanted to disappear in a hole in the ground.

Jeonghan looked over at Wonwoo and gave him a small wave with his left hand, since the other one was still holding on to Joshua for some reason. “Nice to meet you!” Wonwoo gave him the smallest “hi” ever known to mankind and went back to his new hobby staring at Mingyu while Mingyu stares at the ground.

Jeonghan and Joshua finally let go of each other and Jeonghan clapped Mingyu on his back, causing him to look up again. “Ah, Mingyu, don’t be shy. I bet he knows he’s goodlooking and hears it all the time! It’s not like you meant anything by it.” It was quiet for a few seconds before they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Seungcheol looked down at the four quiet men and chuckled to himself. “Well, is anyone going to offer these boys a cup of coffee or do I have to do everything myself?”

//

It had been a pretty nice few hours. They’d put on some music and Joshua had spent the entire time watching Jeonghan pose, asking the boy a million questions about himself, cracking a few jokes in the process so Jeonghan could genuinely laugh in some of the photos.

Seungcheol had spent most of his time in the shop helping the customers that came in and Wonwoo was mostly walking around aimlessly, trying to keep himself busy with watering and feeding plants and flowers, placing some orders and definitely avoiding the tall man in the back of the building. It was hard though, with Jeonghan’s words circling through his mind every ten seconds. ‘He was right, you are indeed very handsome.’ Followed by ‘It’s not like you meant anything by it.’

To make things worse, the few times he’d glanced over at Mingyu he always seemed to be looking back at him, making Wonwoos heart skip a beat and make him turn his head away embarrassed. To avoid himself having an actual panic attack like he did the day before, Wonwoo decided to hide out on the first floor of the building for now.

//

Seungcheol carefully gave the camera back to the photographer. “The pictures look amazing, Mingyu. You’re incredibly talented.” Somewhere halfway through the day they’d all switched from talking English to Korean and the atmosphere had turned to a comfortable one.

Mingyu gave him the brightest smile. “Would you like me to send you the finished shots after I’m done editing them? Jeonghan and I plan to use them for our portfolios, so I wouldn’t mind if you posted them on your website or even printed them for here in the shop, with the right credits of course.”

Seungcheol nodded. “You should ask Wonwoo about that, though. He’s the one who manages all the social media stuff. I never know how that works and Joshua doesn’t really care for it. Where is he by the way?” The last part of the question was directed at Joshua, who was in the middle of tucking one of Jeonghans pretty locks behind his ear. “Josh!”

“Hmm? Wonwoo?” Joshua turned his head to his boss. “I think I saw him head upstairs before. A while ago, though, so it should be fine to go up now.” Mingyu glanced over at Seungcheol with a questioning look on his face, and when he got a nod in return, he headed up the stairs.

Wonwoo was sitting with his back against the wall. His eyes were staring at the ceiling and his mind was a million miles away. As a game design major, he liked to sit around in silence thinking about new ideas for concepts or characters. Right now, he was designing a new protagonist from scratch. Not everyone could do it, design something in their mind like that and see it in front of them, but Wonwoo had done it since he was a kid, and he could get incredibly lost in it.

He didn’t notice anyone walk up the stairs until he heard the snapping sound of a picture being taken. The image in front of his eyes tumbled down into a heap of loose parts and he blinked a few times to get out of his mindset. He locked eyes with the camera that was still blocking Mingyu’s face. As he lowered it, Mingyu gave him a comforting smile.

“Is it alright if I join you for a bit?” He didn’t move until Wonwoo nodded and moved a bit on the floor. There was enough room to sit, but it was more of a metaphor in a way. To say ‘if there wasn’t any space, I’d still be okay with it’. Mingyu sat down and there was a bit of silence between them for a minute. It was comfortable though. Everything around Mingyu felt so comfortable that Wonwoo wondered why he got so nervous every time, because as soon as he got closer it all faded every single time. It was just the way his anxiety worked.

“Do you do that a lot?” Wonwoo asked. Mingyu sat with his head against the wall, eyes trained on an origami bird that hung from the ceiling. “Do what?”

“Taking pictures of random people.” Wonwoo was still not sure in what language to talk to Mingyu, so he naturally switched around a lot, like he still did with Joshua sometimes. Mingyu chuckled.

“I take a picture when I see something I like. Something that’s pretty, or that intrigues me. Do you want me to delete it?” Wonwoo shook his head.

“No, that’s okay. I don’t think I’m that interesting, but if you want to take a picture, I’m not going to stop you.” Mingyu looked at him with confusion written on his face. “You’re so shy though. I’d expected you to ask me to delete the picture, if I’m honest.”

Wonwoo turned his head to Mingyu, but when he saw that the tall man’s eyes were still focused on him, he quickly looked the other way and shrugged. “I don’t think we should question art. I might not agree with it, but it’s still art, and I wouldn’t take it away from you if it’s something you made with thought and effort. Now stop looking at me, it makes me nervous.”

“Sorry.”

Wonwoo watched Mingyu play with the rings on his fingers for a while and then looked at his own hands. There was no decoration on his fingers, apart from some almost healed scratches he’d gotten from the thorns on some roses a few days ago. His hands seemed weird compared to Mingyu’s elegant ones. Everything about Mingyu was so much more elegant. He and Jeonghan would be a good pair, actually.

“You and Jeonghan seem to be really close, by the way you act around each other,” Wonwoo started. He immediately regretted it, though. Why would he talk about that? It was none of his business.

“He’s just my best friend, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m not into guys. At least I don’t think I am.” Wonwoo nodded and surprisingly felt some of the pressure fall off his shoulders at the answer.

“What about Jeonghan, though? He and Joshua seemed more than interested in each other before.” Mingyu took the ring off his right pinky and dragged his thumb over the shiny surface as he answered. “It’s a little complicated. I don’t like to tell other people’s stories, but he only really likes people on a romantic level, if you know what I mean. So unless your friend is willing to give some things up it probably wouldn’t work.”

Wonwoo didn’t really know what to say to that. He felt dumb for asking about it now. Especially since Mingyu said he doesn’t like to talk about it without Jeonghan knowing. He looked at the ring in Mingyu’s hands and realized that Jeonghan had been wearing the same one before. It warmed his heart to know that the two boys were such good friends.

“I didn’t mean to pry, sorry. Joshua is a good guy, so we’ll see.”

“We’ll see.”

Saturday | Wonwoo’s dorm room | 09:30 pm

EDM music was blasting through Wonwoo’s headphones as he sat at his desk with a drawing tool in his hands. For the past few hours he’d been designing the protagonist to a new game and he almost couldn’t believe how fast he’d done it. For the past few months Wonwoo had been stuck in a creative block. He’d barely been able to work on the concept his final project for this year, let alone think about details like this.

As he adjusted the character’s boots a little, he could see his phone light up. Jun was calling. Of course he was. Wonwoo saved his project and closed his computer. That was enough work for today. He stood up with his phone in his hand and went to sit in the little window seat that looked out over the back entrance of the college campus. “Hey Jun.”

“Hey, why didn’t you call me after work?” Wonwoo watched the few people who were still outside walk by and do their thing. They looked small from the 4th floor, but Wonwoo liked to imagine their stories as they passed his window. “Sorry man, I forgot.” He heard a gasping sound on the other end of the line and he could see Jun’s offended face in his mind. “You forgot? Oh my god, I have a terrible best friend. How could you forget to update me on hanging out with Mingyu, I can’t believe this, Wonwoo. You better tell me everything right now.”

Wonwoo sighed. He should have known Jun was going to want to know everything. “We didn’t ‘hang out.’” He made air quotations with his free hand, even though Jun couldn’t see him. “He just took some pictures of Jeonghan and then he left. Besides, he said he’s straight, so there’s really nothing to tell.” Wonwoo could hear the disappointment in his own voice, which he found to be kind of dumb, since he didn’t even have any hope in the first place. He should’ve known Mingyu didn’t like guys. The perfect ones never do.

“Oh, ew. Is he sure, though? I mean- whatever, I guess. But, he just told you that? Out of the blue? I’m not buying it Wonwoo, you’re not telling me things and I don’t like it.”

“Okay, so apparently, he told Jeonghan I’m good looking. I don’t really know why he would say something like that to his friend if he’s straight, but for all I know he’s just like that. I don’t know what kind of person he is.” He could hear Jun open his mouth to reply. “I’m not done yet. Anyway, I was upstairs in the office for a bit, because I was feeling pretty nervous about the whole situation. Joshua was no help at all, since he was just flirting with Jeonghan all the time. And then Mingyu took my picture.”

“He took your picture?”

“Yeah. I asked him why and he said it was because he does it whenever he sees things that intrigue him and then we talked about art a little and I asked him about him and Jeonghan.” Wonwoo closed his eyes in anticipation of Jun’s reaction.

“Jeon Wonwoo! What a bold ass move. I can’t believe the balls on you right now. What did he say?”

“Well, that he didn’t think he was into guys, that’s how I know. After that I gave him my e-mail so he could send me the pictures for on our website and that’s it.”

“Hmm.”

“Jun it’s fine, it’s not like I’ll ever see him again, and I’m okay with that.” Kind of a lie, Wonwoo would have loved to hang out with Mingyu again, but he didn’t really want to admit that to Jun. Or to himself for that matter. “I have to go now, Jihoon wants to watch a movie.” Another lie, Jihoon wasn’t even home right now, because he spent the weekends at his parents’ home every once in a while. Wonwoo felt bad about lying to his best friend, but sometimes Jun could see right trough him and that was just a little too much for Wonwoo to handle right now.

“Okay, say hi for me. I love you.”

“Yeah, goodnight Jun.”

“Say it back, Won.”

“I love you.”

“Goodnight Wonwoo.”

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[wonwuism]

Chapter 1.

Friday | Pledis Flowers | 4:00 pm

“Wonwoo, could you put these roses in the front, please? They’re selling like crazy today.”

Seungcheol walked in from the stock room with an enormous bucket of red roses in his hands, the muscles in his arms bulging out of his Pledis Flowers shirt. For a second it made Wonwoos brain short cirquit, before he shook his head and told himself for the millionth time that Seungcheol is his boss and it's wrong to thirst over his muscles during work hours.

"Sure hyung!"

Before he realized what he’d done, Wonwoo felt Seungcheols flat hand smack against the back of his head. What followed next was the usual scolding that happened after Wonwoo accidentally talked Korean to his boss again. For some reason the scolding always happened in said language, though.

"Jeon Wonwoo how many times to I have to tell you not to call me hyung during work hours! We talk English for a reason, which is to make sure our customers feel comfortable. You'll never be fluent if you keep this up, idiot."

"Jeez, Cheol, take it easy on the guy. All he did was be respectful." Joshua's amused face appeared from the top of the stairs that lead to the office part of the flower shop. As he walked down, he winked at Wonwoo and then clapped Seungcheol on the back. Wonwoo would never be able to get used to the comfortable way in which Joshua addressed his own boss, but he'd accepted a while ago that they both grew up in the US, and that things were just different here.

Seungcheol just sighed, as a way of saying he'd given up, and walked back into the stock room. Even though he'd just gotten scolded (or maybe because of it) Wonwoo couldn't help but let his eyes wander over the backside of Seungcheol's body and take a deep breath. It wasn't even a crush, he just couldn't help but feel insanely attracted to the man. Before he could get lost in his thoughts though, Joshua's lips were right next to his ear.

"Stop staring before you pop a boner, loverboy." Wonwoo let out an airy laugh through his nose and turned his head towards the voice. He raised his eyebrows, silently challenging Joshua to continue his everlasting torture about Wonwoo being a panicked gay around Seungcheol.

"I still don't really understand what is up with that anyway. You know he's straight as hell, from my more than embarrassing confessions when we were drunk, so why can't you just let it go? It's not like anything's ever going to happen between you guys. Also, he's your boss, so there's that."

"I know he's our boss, that's what he told you that night you were all over him. Remember that, Shua?" Joshua’s face fell at Wonwoo’s words. One night, after they’d closed the shop, the three of them had decided to go for drinks. No special occasion, just some bonding time between friends. For some reason, after a few drinks, Joshua decided he would teach Wonwoo how to flirt in English. Seungcheol would soon be the target of Joshua’s tactics, which lead to a hilarious case of Seungcheol turning Shua down again and again. Joshua’s ego had been ripped to pieces that night, but Wonwoo and Seungcheol did get a good laugh out of it.

"Oh, shut up, we both know that wouldn't have happened anyway, I don't bottom, you know that."

Wonwoo was about to defend himself and possibly disrespect his hyung a little in the process, but a ringing sound made them both snap their head towards the shop's door. As usual, Jun walked in with a smile that could light up any rainy day.

"Good afternoon, how are my favorite flower boys doing today?"

"Fantastic," Wonwoo mumbled. As he started gathering his stuff to leave, Jun and Joshua talked about their weekend plans. Wonwoo often thought about how strange it was that they ever became such good friends with him in the first place. Jun was just one of those people who came into his life and would probably never leave. The story of how they met was one that Jun loved to tell at parties to embarrass Wonwoo, as if he wasn't shy enough around people already.

One day Jun had just walked into Pledis to buy some flowers for his mother, but as soon as he saw Wonwoo he'd asked him out. Not a single moment of hesitation in his voice, which was the only reason Wonwoo had said yes. Well, that, and Joshua's slight pushing of course. He'd only moved there a few months prior and wasn't confident about his English at all. To make things worse Jun obviously didn't speak any Korean and that made Wonwoo feel incredibly insecure.

They went on a date anyway, that same night. They walked around the city a bit and talked a little. Well, Jun talked for the most part, but Wonwoo liked to listen better anyway. Jun spoke slowly and looked up the words on his phone whenever Wonwoo didn't understand them. Wonwoo just nodded and smiled every now and then. He was just starting to feel a little more comfortable, when Jun grabbed his hand, which made Wonwoo panic and say "No hands, no kiss, no date, please!" Jun still found it hilarious.

That was the start of a beautiful friendship. After Juns laughter had died down they'd decided that Jun would try to help him with his English, since Joshua had proven to be a terrible teacher and Seungcheol simply said he didn't have the patience to do it. Over the years Jun had proven to Wonwoo countless times that he was the kind of friend who stuck around and now they were, as Joshua called it, besties. Jun often stopped by Pledis. Mostly to pick up Wonwoo after work to go for coffee or food, but also because he had a crush on Seungcheol that was about tenfold the little thingWonwoo had for him.

Thinking about his boss made Wonwoo snap his head back to reality, right in time to see Jun laugh at something Seungcheol said as he came walking back into the store. The older man had a smile of his own and was looking at Jun in such an endearing way that it made Wonwoo question everything he thought he knew about Cheols sexuality. For some reason Jun had been the only one who was able to bring out Seungcheols soft side. Wonwoo thought it was a little strange. Joshua thought it was verystrange. Jun thought they were just seeing things.

"Okay, I have my stuff, let's go Jun." Wonwoo turned towards the door when it swung open and revealed what was possibly one of the most attractive men he'd ever seen. With wide eyes, Wonwoo dropped his bag to the floor and hurried to the side of the store to check on some daffodils for no reason. The man walked up to the counter and asked if he could get advice about some flowers he needed. Wonwoo heard Juns voice answer him.

"Well, I don't work here, but I'd recommend asking Wonwoo over there. He's the best when it comes to picking a pretty arrangement."

Wen Junhui, you're so full of shit and I will kill you with my bare hands as soon as this godlike creature has left the building.

"Hi, Wonwoo? I was wondering if you'd help me out with something?"

Wonwoo took a deep breath and turned around. Oh god, the man was close to him. Way too close. Somewhere in the corner of his eye he could see Joshua make some less than elegant gestures with his hand and mouth and Jun putting his arm around Seungcheol with a proud look on his face. They were all watching him intently. The anxiety was quickly taking over Wonwoos entire body and mind, making his mouth go dry and his brain run over with a million things he could do wrong in the next few seconds. He could just cry right then and there from how nervous he was, but then the stranger did something Wonwoo wasn’t used to.

He softly smiled and took a step back to give Wonwoo a little more breathing space. “It’s okay,” he slowly said. His voice was just loud enough for the two of them to hear, which Wonwoo was endlessly grateful for. “I’m Mingyu, what’s your name?”

Wonwoo swallowed thickly and closed his eyes for a brief second before answering. “My name is Wonwoo, how can I help you?” Mingyu smiled again and nodded. He almost seemed proud of Wonwoo, which made his heart do a little flip in a good way.

“I’m a photographer and I’m looking for the prettiest flowers you have. It’s for a photoshoot with a person.” Wonwoo nodded, ignoring for now that the fact that Mingyu being a photographer made him about three hundred times as attractive.

“Can I see the face?”

Weird sentence, get your shit together Wonwoo.

“Of course,” Mingyu said. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up a picture of a gorgeous boy with white hair, looking into the camera with a small smile on his face.

“Wow.” Wonwoo was suddenly very aware of his breathing, but he didn’t know if it was caused by the boy on the screen or the fact that Mingyu was very close to him now, smelling amazing. Probably the combination.

“Yeah, he’s very pretty.” The way Mingyu was smiling at the picture made Wonwoo a little jealous, but he pushed his thoughts aside. Without another word he walked through the store, picking flowers with the expertise he’d gathered over the years. He decided on yellows and pastel colors that fit well with the boys hair and soft features. For a few minutes he could feel Mingyu’s stare on him, which made him feel nervous all over again. What if he picked the wrong colors? What if Mingyu thought he was weird?

Wonwoo was going through a batch of sunflowers, looking for the prettiest one, when he could feel Mingyu’s presence next to him again. He watched as Mingyu picked one out of the lot and admired it for a second. “Pretty,” he said in Korean. Wonwoos head snapped towards the taller man and he couldn’t help but smile brightly. “Very,” he replied. For a second they just looked at each other with a comfort between them that Wonwoo hadn’t felt in years, until Mingyu’s eyes lowered to the flowers in his hands.

“You have a good eye for color, are you an artist?”

I guess we’re back to English again, huh.

Wonwoo nodded. He felt like he needed to say more, but he’d never been the talkative type and Mingyu probably wasn’t that interested anyway. All of a sudden his nerves started to act up again and he cleared his throat before taking the sunflower Mingyu was still holding.

“Enough?” He lifted his head to look at Mingyu, who was still looking at him with a smile.

“Yes, that should be enough. Can I pay with my card?” Somehow his voice in Korean seemed a little insecure, as if he didn’t speak it a lot, but it made Wonwoo feel like Mingyu was trying to make him feel comfortable and he smiled at Mingyu in a silent thank you.

“Yes, follow me, please.” As Wonwoo made his way towards the counter, he could see the others in the back drinking coffee, having a casual conversation. He was glad they weren’t listening in to his interactions with Mingyu anymore. That would’ve made things even more awkward than they already were.

As Wonwoo was wrapping the flowers up in a pretty bouquet, Mingyu took his wallet out of his jacket and continued their conversation in Korean. Wonwoo couldn’t help but notice he had an American accent that slipped through every once in a while. “Since you have a good eye for pretty things, do you know a good place to shoot pictures with these flowers? I’m looking for a place with a lot of light and not too much of a city vibe.”

Wonwoo took Mingyu’s card and swiped it across the machine. As Mingyu punched in his code, he gathered up some extra courage.

“Maybe you can shoot here, we have a really pretty indoor garden in the back that you can use. Would you like to see it?” Mingyu’s face lit up at his words and he happily nodded as he took his card back from Wonwoo’s hands.

Wonwoo ignored Jun’s eyebrow roll and Joshua’s wink as they walked towards the back of the shop. Thank god he let Mingyu walk first, so he wasn’t able to see the dumb gestures they were making. He did mouth an ‘oh my god,’ to them with wide eyes, before joining Mingyu in the little inside garden, where the taller man was already looking around with a look that told Wonwoo all he needed to know.

“This is beautiful,” Mingyu said, softly.

You are beautiful, Wonwoo thought. He sat down on the little park bench that was placed against one of the white walls and looked up through the glass ceiling that gave the little patio space an outside feeling. While Mingyu walked around, looking at the space from different angles Wonwoo felt himself relax at the silence. This complete stranger had somehow made him feel completely at ease within the short time he’d been inside the shop, which was something Wonwoo wasn’t used to at all. Even thinking about that almost made his anxiety resurface again, but then he locked eyes with Mingyu’s sparkling ones and he could feel himself smile again. Mingyu just made him want to smile and Wonwoo didn’t really know how to feel about that.

“Can I use it? Please? It’s perfect,” Mingyu said, doing a little spin in the middle of the room. Wonwoo stood up and nodded at him. “We mostly use it for this kind of stuff anyway, so it could be free for you tomorrow if you’d like.” Mingyu looked like he could just hug Wonwoo with the news, but fortunately decided to keep his happiness to himself for now.

“Jeonghan’s gonna love this, thank you so much! I’ll call him right away and arrange it. We’ll be here around noon tomorrow, is that okay? Thank you! You have no idea how perfect this is!” He looked like an overexcited puppy, which Wonwoo found both endearing and very overwhelming, but he liked Mingyu’s enthusiasm. It was contagious. After walking back into the shop and deciding on a time, Wonwoo kept the flowers Mingyu picked in a separate bucket to keep them for the next day. Mingyu thanked him about six more times and left the shop almost skipping from happiness.

After he was out of the shop and out of sight, Wonwoos legs gave in on him and he fell to the ground with a loud cry as he started losing control over his breathing. He heard footsteps rushing closer and felt Jun and Joshua lift him up to carry him towards the coffee corner. They put him in the big antique chair in the way back and Wonwoo pulled his legs up to his chest to make himself as small as possible. Trying to get his brain to function again, he took a sip from the glass of water that Seungcheol reached out to him. Wonwoo didn’t have the voice to tell them how grateful he was at this moment, having them take care of his panic attacks like they’d learned to. He didn’t know what he would have done without them, because right now it felt like he was dying. It always did.

A good five minutes later he was doing a lot better, although still a little shaken from his outburst. Jun had spent the entire time whispering encouraging words to him. “You did so well. You can do it Wonwoo, just breathe in and out. That’s it, you’re doing amazing. You did great. You made that guy smile a lot. I know you’re scared he had all sorts of thoughts about you, but your mind is lying to you. It’ll be okay Wonwoo, in and out, just like that.”

No one touched him while they were giving him comfort. They knew that would only make things worse, and Wonwoo thanked them for it as soon as he found his voice again.

“No problem, Wonwoo, you did really well with that customer. I’m proud of you.” Seungcheol spoke in Korean to make Wonwoo feel more grounded. “You should calm down a little more and then just go home, okay? You should have been off work half an hour ago.” With that he walked up the stairs to do some financial work for the day. Wonwoo wiped away the tears he didn’t realize he’d cried and gave his friends a small smile. “I’m sorry guys, it was all a little overwhelming, that’s all.”

“Never apologize Wonnie,” Joshua told him. “We don’t mind, you know that. You held up so well while he was still in the shop. I know he must have made you nervous.” Wonwoo nodded and then, to the other boys’ surprise, chuckled a little when he saw the bouquet of flowers. “Actually, he was really nice about it. He stayed at a distance almost the whole time, as if he could tell I was anxious.” As Wonwoo took another sip of his water he heard Jun apologize for sending Mingyu towards him in the first place. Wonwoo shook his head. “That’s okay. He’ll be back tomorrow, so this time I’ll be a little more prepared. Can we go now? I need fresh air.”

Friday | Wonwoo’s dorm room | 8:00 pm

Wonwoo knocked on the door of his dorm room twice and then opened it with his keys. Inside was Jihoon, working on his laptop as usual. His massive headphones were on his head, which explained why he hadn’t heard Wonwoo knock. When he saw movement, though, he moved his head towards Wonwoo and nodded. Wonwoo nodded back and shrugged his jacket off.

They didn’t talk much about unnecessary stuff, Wonwoo and Jihoon. They each just kind of went their own ways, but they liked it that way. From their first year on, they’d been roommates, which had always gone well. They never became really good friends, but as for roommates it was about as good as it gets. Jihoon closed his laptop with a sigh and took his headphones off. “Had dinner yet?”

“Yeah I went out to eat with Jun, you?” Wonwoo dropped himself on his bed and felt the weight of a long day pour into his bedsheets. He grabbed his phone and put some music on, that he listened to through one earphone. Jihoon put some water into the little heater they’d bought together and grabbed some instant ramen out of a cupboard. He shook the packet while he turned towards Wonwoo and gave him a sarcastic happy smile. “I’m about to. New song got me messed up, I need some kind of inspiration man. I’m empty.”

Wonwoo raised his eyebrows and shook his head a little in disbelief. This man had some terrible habits. “Maybe if you went outside every once in a while you’d feel more inspired, or do you want me to bring some flowers home from the shop?” He dodged the plushie that Jihoon threw his way as a way of answering and threw it back at him. “I’m serious man, get some fresh air.”

“What got you in such a good mood?” Jihoon asked with a playful tone. “Acting all tough, like you know it all.” Wonwoo shrugged and got up to grab a towel and some sweatpants. “Suit yourself, I’m going to take a shower. I want to sleep early tonight, I had a pretty long day.” Jihoon made a sound in the back of his throat that translated to ‘okay’ and Wonwoo walked out of their room to head for the shared dorm bathrooms down the hall. When he returned from his shower, he could see Jihoons empty bed, telling him his words did end up making an impact on his roommate after all. After texting Jun and Joshua a quick ‘thank you for today’ he soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

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[wonwuism]

A Little Funny

A story by Wonwuism.

Ship: Wonwoo/Mingyu Setting: New York, 2020 Warnings: Panic attacks and anxiety disorder. Use of alcohol and soft drugs. This story won’t have any adult scenes, so no warnings there. Important: Sentences in italic are spoken in English, regular sentences are spoken in Korean.

It’s a little funny, how two people seemingly so different can be so similar at the same time.

Chapters: Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3.