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wordsididnwrite · 5 years ago

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A piece of the story I am writing...

“Are you Relaxed?” I nodded yes and in an instant I was transported to a realm without Time. I was surrounded by an intense light. It surrounded and enveloped everything. There did not seem to be any direction for the source of light it came from everywhere at once. I came to be standing on a great white polished stone floor. I stood before God in a Palace of White, great pillars so tall I could not see their tops. They appeared to be holding up the Cosmos as a sort of ceiling to the Great Hall. The Great Hall was made of Giant Stone Blocks polished and gleaming like they were lit from within. There were other pillars all around us with statues on them. They were also too High for me to make out the fine details. A group of Watchers had gathered around the area, to see why I was petitioning God so publicly.

I was shaking and my entire body felt like it was an exposed nerve, I still felt traumatized from the Life Story Briefing I had just endured about the poor girl that was about to be born, I still could not think of her as myself. It took a full month of Earth Time for the Briefing, the baby girl was going to be overdue. The highlight reel without the gory details is Child Pornography, Homelessness, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sodemy, Police Interigations, Prison Visits, Drug Manufacturing, and Murder...this was the briefing I had just recieved as my soul was being prepared to enter the unborn female child. I never took the first breath, I was just not going to do it...I remember thinking, If I don’t breath or open my eyes then maybe I will just go back, I will go and just tell God I was wrong. I will tell him that the assignment was just too much for me to undertake and maybe someone with more experience could take this one.

I dropped to my knees and I laid myself prostrate before God and said, ‘I can not do as I claimed, I am not strong enough to do all you ask.” You have shown me what I will have to endure, I am to be a walking billboard for the Breaking of the Ten Commandments. I felt so much shame radiating through me clinging to me like a thick fog, what had I done by coming back? I lifted my eyes to meet his and implored, “How will I ever make it until I find you again? I won’t remember being here with you, once I am wrapped in that human flesh.” Laying prostrate before our Father who Art in Heaven, I begged for him to reconsider the life I was to be given, the life I would be required to live in service to him.

A voice from out of the crowd calls out, “What if I help her,” Hermes stepped out from behind the crowd that had gathered to watch my humiliation. He said, “I could take over for her when things get too; shall we say rough.” He knew what he was saying, he could not take over the life permanently, but he could take me away from my consciousness while I was in danger. He turned to me and said, “You will still have to remember it all when you are older, but until then it will be more like a whisper of a nightmare. When the time comes to remember I will be with you, then and until the end of our Mission.

God smiled, this is what he wanted all along, “Hermes take Gabuthelon with you and go with her. Gabuthelon stepped forward to accept God's commandment, she bowed her head and then she stepped back in silence.

A voice like a Trumpet said to me, “Come up here and I will show you what must happen after this. I stood on shaking legs and approached the Throne, the floor looked like a sea of glass. I stood before him and looked around at the audience that was there to witness my humiliation. I bowed my head and I said, “For you, each day I will breath, until my last breath has been taken, it is for you, I will search. I will do as required, I pray I do not let you down again.” I turned to Hermes and said, “I am ready messenger, let’s go spend some time with the devil; we are going to need to show him the error of his ways.”

I opened my eyes and was lying on the bed in New Mexico, as tears ran down my face onto the pillow, “Thank you for being with me Hermes. “Always,” Hermes said.

I got quiet for a minute, then I asked, ”Hermes, why does there have to be suffering at all?” When he didn’t answer I asked again, “Come on, I have been through my share of suffering, I can take it.”

“The question of suffering, has no answer sufficient for those that do not know the lord. It is by your own stubbornness that you suffer. This thing I say to you, suffering exists to thin the barrier of self preservation and reliance on yourself,” Hermes continued. You are the descendent, we required a soul who willingly lived out this life in this woman's body, fully understanding what would transpire. You have learned first hand what it means to be overlooked, undervalued, dismissed and mistreated by the sinners of the world. You endured the shame and through forgiveness and sacrifice you will help save them all.” He continued, “I have lived many lives but never as a woman; but I have known your pain. When you resisted the first breaths of life on the day of your birth, I returned with you and have been with you since that day. In the corridors of the hospital the alarms sounded to warn the nurses of your lack of oxygen, I brought your soul back. God used the Human genes that are expressed after death to grow you a new backbone, one strong enough to bend and never break.

You will have to forgive me Little One, I have been your consultant on this mission, I will keep your secrets and you will help me right the wrongs of the past. I know it has been hard, I was there to take over when this life was too much for you to handle, to share the burden of this human female's Life. I have animated your body while your consciousness is hidden away. I hold your memories for the minutes, days, weeks and years you left this world. I have carried them for you, I will carry them for you still.” He was silent after that. “That explains the missing memories and time gaps in my life, I say out loud.” to an empty room. Sleep finally overcame my wandering mind and I fell into a restful sleep.

The next thing I knew sunlight was streaming through the curtains and into the room, morning had come, I stretched out and thought that was a rough night. I had no need to be reminded of all I had pushed aside to raise my family. The scars of my past covered me from my elbows to my knees, I am reminded everyday of how they came to be. It was time to put on my big girl panties and get me some serious work done, and anyways it was just a euphemism; I don’t actually wear underwear.

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