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[world-in-a-nook]

"Don't know where I'm in five but I'm young and alive"

character : Aventurine character mentioned : Dr.Ratio, Jade, Topaz, Diamond art : oryunbunkosu synopsis : a usual night at the casino with a peer into Aventurine's thoughts. title from: What a Life ! warnings : spoilers for 2.1 (Aventurine's backstory) ; angst ; self-loathing ; flashbacks ; mentions of blood ; alcohol ; gambling (obviously) (never gambled so might be inaccurate) ; implied suicidal thoughts ; might be ooc since it is my first time writing him. wc: 1k nda : not my native language

The cards scattered on the poker table as the other player shouted:

“How did you win again ?!”

“Looks like your luck has run out, friend…” grinned the gambler.

The blond man played with the chip between his gloved fingers before adding:

“It would be wiser, friend, to just admit that Lady Luck hasn’t graced you tonight and give me my prize.”

His gaze pierced through the rose-tinted glasses at the other player, awaiting. Through a groan, the chips were left scattered on the table. As the player left, Aventurine let out a sneer lifting his glass to thanks the player before being interrupted by one of his bodyguards:

“Sir, the more provocative you are, the more you’ll risk yourself getting in trouble.”

“Don’ worry, I always manage to get myself out of trouble. Always. So why won’t you be a dear and let me enjoy my prize?”

The bodyguard sighed and went back with the others. Like always, Aventurine had them following them. They were the lap dogs of the IPC protecting him, well that’s what Jade and Diamond told them. Although he knew that it was to make sure that he didn’t do anything stupid, that he wouldn’t escape. At first, they were only two, until he escaped them to have a fling in an alleyway. After that event, they were now five always making sure of his every movement. Five guards ready to keep him in check, to remind him his place, his lowly place.

When the bodyguards noticed his stare, his eyes rolled back to his drink. He swirled the amber liquid with a slight scoff. Amber like the Lord he was supposed to serve, quite a joke. He had served too many in his eyes and he only wanted to serve himself, to survive. The ice clicked in a small melody before he took a sip, feeling the slight burn in his throat. The burn that soothed his own, his urge to flee those that chained him to his position. The burn lingering and licking his heart, grasping his heart, and tormenting his brain with passing memories. Just this one drink to numb the pain.  

His eyes wandered about to the casino’s bar, his heart beating like the bartender’s shaker. He could already hear the doctor Ratio’s scold about his consumption of alcohol and excessive gambling. He couldn’t care less; it was his way of enjoying life. Each second and each of his choices could lead him towards an impending disaster, blessed and cursed luck following him, so why not enjoy every minute. His lips sipped the drink before putting it down, playing with a chip in his gloved left hand.

He sat back in his seat, looking around for another poker player. The piercing gaze following the dealers and the waiters. He was one of the high rollers so maybe someone would approach his table, hopefully. After a few minutes, he sipped again the drink and only the ice remained in the drink clinking like a clock or a bomb. The clicking reminding of past chains, and the cold metal around his neck. He opened slightly his collar. The alcohol was making him relax, nothing less, not those thoughts and sensations coming back to him.

He took a step out of his seat, walking towards the other rooms. The clicking of the ice following him, chains keeping him tied to his destiny and his luck. His eyes clocked at each table, each player. He saw some bluffs so easily: he had seen them in the past, when his owner flicked his chips around meant a weak hand while caressing the chip meant a strong one. He had seen how many people reacted to pressure, like they had everything or nothing to lose. All or nothing. When he played, he didn’t care about how much was spent. He didn’t care how much the IPC won because of him; all was about the outcome. That’s what was important to him, and what was important to Diamond too. Sometimes he hoped that something would derail, that someone could see his bluff, he couldn’t access his trump card, that the Russian roulette would fire. Yet it never did.

He sat down at a random table, another toss of the wheel of fortune. His eyes stopped on the players surrounding him as he stopped his eyes on a lady swirling her wine like at the trial, Jade looking at him intrigued. But it wasn’t Jade, and he was the one in power, the one with the money and the high rolls. He let out a chuckle when receiving his cards:

“I’ll be merciful tonight, five million.”

Keeping his usual smile when stacking his chips and the adrenaline rush. The alcohol blurring the music surrounding him. He could already hear all the scolds about his arrogant self, his gambling addiction and how pitiful he was. He could hear Topaz grunts when he would wake up late due to the hang over. With one last sip of the whisky, they vanished into the alcoholic fog. Eyes on the game and the players. Another win, with quite the pitiful win yet it still felt bittersweet. Never truly satisfying.

He wandered again, the alcoholic fog blurring slightly his vision, but he could feel himself getting lighter. The wine didn’t look anymore like the blood that tainted his fingers, the ice clicking was now loud but not as loud as the screams of his previous owner, the mark of his neck didn’t burn when he looked at himself in the mirror.

He gingerly walked into the bathroom to wash his face, taking off his glasses and hat. Everything was so loud yet so alive. His feet weren’t bare on the floor, he could chat with whoever he wanted, he was the one at the table not the prize. He could see himself in the mirror. The colourful eyes reminding him of his curse, his luck, his meaningless self. His eyes were “pretty” according to Jade, “a sign of good luck” according to his sister yet he wandered why he had those eyes, this curse. What made his eyes beautiful? Rarity? “The rarer the product, the higher the value” his seller had said his owner while showing off his eyes. His eyes reminding him of his lineage, one-of-a-kind truly.

Glasses back on, the rose masking the purples and blues before going back to the casino. He wandered aimlessly, but he didn’t dare to say that he was lost.

[world-in-a-nook]

"Welcome to my world . . ."

Welcome to my blog !

I'm not used to making presentation as I prefer to show myself through my works. You may call me Elwynn (she/her) and I am here to publish about my writing and worldbuilding.

I have been creating my world for nearly five years, even when back from zero twice. It is a low fantasy solarpunk world with vintage aesthetic. For the moment, I have one project inside it being a cozy fantasy novel. I am open to write more worlds though this one will stay my first and foremost. My interest in worldbuilding doesn't limit itself through creation. I am also invested in other media's worlbuilding and creations. So I might plan to create some analysis of well-known worlbuilding (at the time of writing, I am specifically thinking of the Aeons in Honkai Star Rail).

Regarding my writing, first of all, english isn't my native language it is french. I might give here some examples of my writing such as fanfics on my current muses, one-shots about my ocs or random ideas that pop in my head from the abysses of my mind.

I hope that you'll like my works !