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@royalfirefly

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Helen Crawford as Myrtha in Giselle // Photo: John Ross.

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Horse figure of the day: Enesco by GG Santiago "Elusive Legend" (1992)

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Horse figure of the day: Peter Stone "Lactiflora"

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@royalfirefly @suntears1037 @gemevieve @203y @sunpuppycat-art @cacklingskeleton

siren

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redesigning an old character of mine, Puck, while i practice my composition and decorative skills

like my art? leave me a tip!

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The finch care app is making me realize I might be more depressed than I thought. That & I may want to die more than I thought ahaha… a… ❤️‍🩹😞

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someone pointed out that I tend 2 get punished 4 actually bothering to be honest + the one to say shtuff & @ this point I’m inclined to agree !! lol! Hahaheeheehoho!!!!!!! AAAAA

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Bad Feelings tonight. Yum. Anyways I’m rly exhausted of ppl punishing me for feeling/being rightfully upset about shit & like… literally reacting to what they’re fucking doing, but maybe not 100% articulate/nicely, & then I get further punished etc. for messily removing myself due to feeling upset due to being hurt & idk I wish ppl weren’t so hypocritical about this b/c it’s not like any of these other ppl reacted well either & yet. Again. I’m seemingly the only one who gets socially punished, ostracized, etc. b/c only other ppls feelings Actually Matter (apparently) .

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Theres this popular artist guy on here who I was(/am???) rlly close friends w/ before he dropped off of the face of the earth due to xyz irl life reasons & I’ve had to cut off so many ppl as of late last year + this year due to Numerous Issues that r years+ worth in value of shit dynamics + feelings that I just NOW noticed & the situation w/ this guy just feels so so bad b/c idk if I can forgive him for not saying/clarifying something when he should have & throwing someone else I care abt deeply under the bus in a popular specbio artist’s server b/c this person essentially took the blame for him b/c they knew he was stressed about his own life shit etc. & I think y I feel bad about this situation is I think this artist friend(?) guy would have to do very specific things in order for me to fully forgive him (I.E. at least telling the person who hurt the person I care about—via making paranoid assumptions + getting them kicked from a server over something that they didn’t even do—that it was Actually Him Who Did The Thing, etc. etc.) & I’m just bracing myself b/c idk if he’s even gonna say anything to me ever again or ever deal w this & itll just be a very silent & slowly disintegrating friend break up given I don’t think I have the heart to solidly end things with this guy if it comes to that (& idk he’s pretty avoidant & has admitted that & it just. Sucks. B/c this guy meant the world to me at one point & I’ve just outgrown so many ppl, things weren’t working, etc. & it hurts. It hurts. & sucks b/c all of these ppl are like 30+ chronically online mentally ill people etc.)

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I’m learning to not make assumptions @ least but it’s still frustrating when that (making assumptions) feels like something I have to default to given so many fuckin ppl have a streak of Not Being Honest b/c of reasons that, while emotionally valid, still hurt other ppl/me + cause further issues that should/could b talked about, but never seem to get discussed

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I hate that ppl who were/are important to me in the past not being fully 100% open about how they felt until prompted by me—when it did/does matter to say Something before being prompted, mind u, & that shouldn’t have been my sole responsibility in the first place—& then proceeding to needlessly lie after being prompted to actually Have A Conversation, is what licherally has caused me so much furthering of c-ptsd symptoms in the sense of it always feels like I have to pull teeth to even get the actual truth out of people, which makes trusting ppl so so so hard now & it’s frustrating that other ppl don’t realize that they’re doing me AND THEM a disservice when they do this instead of saying something themselves, not to mention: do u know how stressful it is to feel like I have to be the one t constantly ask folks FIRST if they’re okay? Do you? Like I don’t have the energy to keep doing this for so many anxious ppl in my life💔😭

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La Coiffure

Berthe Morisot

oil on canvas, 1894

Museo Nacional de Belles Artes

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Gertrude Abercrombie, Encampment, 1948

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Recent magical girls traditional paper cut commission I did for someone in the midst of making a technologist women centered magazine this summer <3

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Breakfast with coffee, orchids and apricot jam - Lotta Camilla Teale * , 2021.

British , b. 1979 -

Oil on canvas board , 40 x 50 cm.

*correction