wowcaratvivi

[wowcaratvivi]

[wowcaratvivi]

⟶ ⋮ 🍚 ⌗ 𖹭！

🌷 ~ 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝔂. ~ 💽

[wowcaratvivi]

ₚᵤᵣᵣ 🐈‍⬛ ♪♫~

ˣᵘ ᵐⁱⁿᵍʰᵃᵒ 徐明浩

[wowcaratvivi]

[wowcaratvivi]

⭒ᴬⁿᵈ ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵍᵒⁿᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ

ᵀʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵃˢ ⁿᵒᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵉˡˢᵉ ᴵ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵈᵒ

⭒ . `° . ⭑ ` . ` . ☆ . ⭒ ` ° . ⭑. ` . ⭒

ᴬⁿᵈ ᴵ ᶠᵒʳᵍᵉᵗ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ

ᵀᵒ ᶠᵒʳᵍᵉᵗ ʷʰʸ ᴵ ⁿᵉᵉᵈᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ⭒

[wowcaratvivi]

💄one baddie and one tiger but without a porsche

synopsis. your boyfriend wants to scream to the world about you but for know he will be satisfied by just his members knowing

paring(s). kwon soonyoung x f!reader

genre(s). romance, slice of life

warning(s). alchohol consumption, curse words

word count. 2.7k

a/n. the reader is a y2k baddie who is independent woman, I used feminine y2k style reader for a baddie but anyone can be a baddie no matter the aesthetics <3 Hoshi loser tendencies are inspired by his lovable charms and that Sana interactions, I am sure he has game...sometimes

The time when seventeen members have off-days are usually spent away from each other, or in much much smaller groups and pairs, resting without the group’s characteristic of loudness and actually taking a moment to enjoy solace and little sense of peace that comes only when you are alone. That usually is the norm, they spread out, some even leaving the county, visiting families and some even simply disappear to who knows where with a simple message of assuring they will be back. 

But when you grow up with twelve other people and share almost anything it comes to a weird sense of dependence on one another, an itch that even the quietest members have after a while, to come and be assured that everyone is fine, everyone is still the same and that connection is still thriving. And Hoshi was one of the not so quiet ones, despite keeping bits and pieces of himself tucked away for a sense of privacy and some kind of childish giggle when he gets off keeping things only for himself, he knew that it was only a matter of time where the secret would naturally come out, he in a way wanted to share the said secret the moment it opportunity arises. 

It’s too stuffy to call it a secret, you weren’t a secret to be hidden, hell if the idol environment wasn’t so strict and bashing about dating he would’ve already screamed to the whole world that you were his and his only. It was a shame, at least to him, that you were a private only love, but, but he once again was fine with it in some twisted way, he could keep you tucked in like the precious gem you were.

A gem that even his members didn’t see yet, maybe he should have been more careful, or maybe he was careless on purpose, you weren’t sure of that fact but you also didn’t care for it, he too you wasn’t shameful relationship to be hidden rather the opposite, unlike your usual situation that got too boring or too energy draining, Soonyoung to you was a breath of fresh air, that kept things interesting enough yet offered some sense of comfort you usually don’t get in your life. 

It was a video call at first, with the youngest no less, Dino was talking about some concert he attended the day before while on their vacation, Hoshi was nodding along and somewhere where they were making plans the bundle on his bed moved. Dino didn't think much of it, maybe it was his dog, Latte, but once it started shifting he started paying attention. He was glad he did because not even a minute later there was a peak of someone’s hair, that he for sure knew it wasn’t Latte’s fur.

Before he could inquire about what that was, Hoshi was saying quick goodbye and promised for a group hang-out.‘ Bye bye Dino-ya! Let’s grab drinks later.” The screen went back and yet all Dino can think of is the bundle of sheets that looked too human-like and a head that didn’t match anyone in Hoshi’s family. His older sister would rather eat rocks then allow the loudness of her brother to interrupt her precious sleep, he knows that much. 

So he came to the most plausible conclusion ever. Hoshi definitely had a girl over! Not just any girl, a girl that obviously tolerated his loudness and didn’t mind his obnoxious laugh when they talked for longer than just a quick call to check in, Hoshi even called Dino for some kind of better clearness, that girl wasn’t a one-night stand and it definitely wasn’t his ex, she wouldn’t be so chill with him calling someone while she was there.. 

So with that ‘genius’ conclusion he texted around, the first who answered was Mingyu, how mention that Hoshi was indeed avoiding his invites for drinks more of lately, he thought it was because he wanted to stop embarrassing himself around their industry friends because of his drinking habits but now with what Dino said that it made sense he wouldn’t want to go home drunk if there was a girl waiting for him. Strike two.

Dino then ran to Jeonghan who told him that yeah Hoshi is definitely seeing someone, I mean have you seen the sparkle in his eyes and the sudden number of hair ties on his wrist? He was half-sure the older one was teasing him but the hair thing stuck with him. None of them had longer hair anymore, Jeonghan’s was short again and it was always Seungcheol’s job to carry them for him, hell even he had somewhat longer-ish hair and Hoshi never offered it to him. Strike three. 

The longer he went around he came to realization he wasn’t the only one who thought so, Seungkwan was talking how Hoshi was suddenly on his best behavior and Minghao said he asked for nail places recommendation, hell even Woozi albeit reluctantly said that Hoshi was of great help lately with some lyrics, that for once weren’t some hype and break-up lyrics. Jun found a tube of glitter lipgloss spilling out of Hoshi’s bag, the label read ‘Frosted flirt’, he didn’t question it further, they wore make up occasionally,  but it did get stuck in his memory. 

Like puzzles coming into their rightful place and the information being shared among members it was announced that, without the guy in question’s knowledge, Hoshi was dating someone, and he is hiding it. They didn’t want to be a noisy bunch but they too were itching to know why, after all Hoshi never hesitated to be loud about his love life or even lack of it thereof. 

So as any good and worried, read as noisy, friends they cornered him on random Saturday, soju and beers being passed around as the noise of regulars and some nostalgically old pub playlist that played in the background was overwhelmed by the chatter of the thirteen men. It wasn’t hard to get Hoshi tipsy but they strategically avoided him actually getting drunk by putting him besides Mingyu who drowned both his and Hoshi’s drinks. 

It didn’t take him long enough to break, honestly they barely started the romance talk, mostly between the new tensions and embarrassing stories, the only thing that was needed was a comment from Seungkwan, smoothly put together and presented with a teasing pull, a provocation. 

‘Guys slow down with your love stories, our sweet Soonyoung is yet to be over his ex…’ Seungkwan said that in a mockingly sweet tone, patting Hoshi on his back but while the touch was comforting, the words were meant to tease and make him fess up. ‘Right, Soonyoung? Or perhaps your lack of game is more grave than we thought of it and you seem to not have any prospects...’

‘Yah! What are you saying! I have an amazing game mind you! I am good, my girlfriend is like…like so hot! Like…she is so bad, I swear I see my damn future in her shiny lipgloss and like when she talks it is like the whole world revolves around her, you just gotta hear her out!’ that dramatic admission was followed by actual tear, his cheeks were flushed deep mauve from alcohol? Embarrassment? They weren’t sure but it was for sure comical, listening to him go and go on about his girlfriend.

‘Is that so?’ Like he was egging him on, Jeonghan asked him with a mischievous grin on his face, and Hoshi’s eyes actually lit up, he missed the hit and took it as an invitation to begin his rant.

‘Yeah! She walks with some kind of purpose and I swear everytime her heel hits the floor I feel my heart skip a beat, like everything is in slow motion that it makes you focus on her! And when she calls me an idiot I melt like she said some pet name, sure I once messed up her make up display and broke like half of the things. She just closed her eyes, let out a sigh of annoyance and I was a second away from getting on my knees to beg with the way her raised eyebrow and intense stare was cutting me apart, but guess what she kissed me and called me useless.’ He sighs out like he just told a fairytale worthy story. ‘I have her vogue cover hanging on the opposite side of the bed just so I can see her the first thing in morning, she says it is creepy but I know she digs it, she is like a glammed up final boss, the main character of main characters!’

‘Ha ha ha….right.’ Dino muttered out, eyes widened from the sudden surge of information, it wasn’t surprising that Hoshi would love that kind of woman, one that appears to have a world under the heel of her shoes, but to think someone like that would entertain the idea of his weirdness was unbelievable. 

‘Are you sure you aren’t just imagining things Soonyoung?’ Joshua asked, genuinely baffled by what his friend just said.

‘Perhaps he got a head injury while dancing? Jun added in, now wearing a more worried expression than the amusing one. ‘We should get him to hospital or something?’

Woozi had both of his hands under his chin, like he was figuring out what beat was mixing but not he was thinking what part of the brain has Hoshi lost over the vacation. ‘I actually agree, he is speaking nonsense like usual , but this is a new level of delusions.’ 

‘Ha!? Delusions, it’s true my girlfriend is so…so cute and like super smart!’ Hoshi defended himself, rising from his seat, almost knocking off a glass of beer if it wasn’t for Jun’s quick reflexes to catch it. ‘Let me show you her!’

Hoshi pulled out his phone, unlocking it and immediately going to the gallery, with no hesitation at all he shoved his phone in the closest hand to him, which was Joshua’s, who was sitting in front of him. ‘Go on, there is a whole album with her in it!’

Joshua just let out a sound that was somewhere in between a chuckle and exasperated sigh, he clicked on the album with a pink heart and tiger emoji, assuming that it was the one he was referring to, and once the pictures loaded his eyes widened. There it was, the girl he was describing, a drop-dead gorgeous woman wrapped in rhinestone-studded croptop, low waisted jeans that showed off her belly button piercing, the small gem glittering under what he assumed was a camera flashlight. 

To avoid staring at the ‘S’ letter necklace between her breast he forced himself to look at her face, and damn he understood Hoshi’s statement about begging, eyeliner sharp that it could kill made her eyes pop, the gaze that could send shivers down his spine if it was directed at him, lips covered in sheer frosted pink sparkles drawing away from the fact that the smile she had on was one that spells out danger vailed up as a good ride you wouldn’t forget. 

‘Yeah no, no way. Where did you get this pic man? This girl might get a bad rep if she got connected to you!’ Seokmin’s voice was loud in Joshua’s ears as he basically screamed out from where his chin was hooked on Joshua’s shoulder.

‘Just scroll, and stare less, she is my girlfriend, remember?’

Joshua’s finger swiped right and right, over and over again, and without doubt it was the same girl, dressed to nines, at clubs, conferences and without makeup on, wrapped up in sheets that looked similar to Hoshi’s, the K.O. move was you in Hoshi’s lap with Latte cuddled up with you, the dog napping peacefully, gasps followed throughout the room as members passed the phone among them.

‘Photoshoot?’ Someone said, ‘Nah, it’s too much for a prank, he doesn’t go that far’.

‘Ha! She is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend,’ Hoshi exclaimed, beaming from pride. He liked saying that, he wanted everyone to know how lucky he was, drowning another beer, and he mumbled out some more about you. About your work, your bag collection, how you make people question left and right, how mean you can get yet somehow you are always right.

It was like that for the rest of the night, once the shock passed and they returned to the usual conversation topics but it was clear in Hoshi’s dumb smile and that lovestuck expression he was gone from most of the conversation. The members gave him his time, still doubtful but happy for him, they watched over him as he emptied glass after glass, bouncing around them, they laughed with him too, enjoying this new version of him, sliding in a couple of teasing comments and stabs, questions of how did he bag a baddie like you.

And once the time for them to part, Dino sneakily called up Hoshi’s girlfriend as others were taking the last shots and bites of good, it wasn’t hard to find you in his contact info the number of sickeningly sweet emojis next to what he assumed was your name, clicking on it and asking for you to come pick him up because no one could, it was a lie, he was sure some of the sober members would be up for it or even calling a cab was an option, they were enough of comfortable in their careers that the bill wouldn’t matter, but he wanted to make sure, that this night wasn’t alcohol driven hallucination. 

It was definitely worthed when you walked in with a bare face and some chunky bedazzled sunglasses on, and Seokmin even fell over when he saw you. Dressed in some leisure wear and hair put up out of your face so the hoop earings got a moment on their own, all while on your hip there was a juicy hot pink bag and a very out of place tiger plushy. The chaos once again ignited, Minghao, bless his manners, welcomed you in with an apologetic smile and led you to drink his Hoshi who was clinging on Mingyu’s biceps. 

Your manicured nails took off the glasses as you looked down at Hoshi who was blabbing some nonsense about kimchi and butterfly  hairclips. With a face twisted in an expression that could be read as judgemental and flicker or worried furrow in your shaped eyebrows. In less than a second you took out a vanilla body spray and drenched him in it, being careful he doesn’t inhale any of it. 

‘You are not entering my room, much less my bed if you stink of alcohol and meat.’

The members weren’t sure if it was your voice or the smell of the bakery fit in a bottle that was what snapped him towards you but to be honest none of them were thinking, too amazed to see a baddie like you entertain an idea of welcoming Hoshi into your home at all. Don’t get them wrong, they acknowledge that he is an amazing person with a lot of things to brag about but he always said the stupidest shit to girls around them. So when you didn’t even blink when he attached to your hip instead of Mingyu, they were more than just surprised.

‘You came for me me, yey. I was just talking about how cool you are and about the project you were doing!’ 

‘How great but I doubt anyone can understand your slurred words. Let's go before you embarrass yourself more than you should.’ You said and brushed the hair that was sticking to his forehead. He followed you like a puppy and all the members were in honest disbelief, bit envious but most of all filled with some kind of happiness that he got someone that even if out of his league, they knew he would treat you good based on how he sang praises about you for the whole night. They also were looking at the example that you too would treat him well, with the way your hands hold onto his body and the way despite the displeasure of being here you didn’t flinch away from it, accepting it as a part of him, part of him in seventeen, bright, familiar, and somewhat foolish, but yours. 

[wowcaratvivi]

📍summer bummer ˎˊ˗

synopsis. home sweet home, you return home just to be welcomed by familiar and not-so familiar faces

paring(s). kwon soonyoung x reader, side poly 95' relationship

genre(s). non-idol au, drama, slice of life, summer romance, smut, little bit of angst, farm worker and boss's sister, older brother's friend hoshi

word count. 4.2k

warning(s). mature themes, curse words, mentions of previous sexual encounters

a/n. it's just to shape the au and give some backstory to the characters and present the plot, note the reader is around 20, you can think of her about Dino's age when compared to others (I written 2/3 of this before poll results so hoshi was included already but just as a minor role, so I just added in the bit at the end)

chapter 1

Hot summer air brushed against your cheeks as you stepped out of the bus. Limbs sore from the hard seats make the balancing of the bag over your shoulder even more challenging as you brave yourself to walk to the nearest shade, letting out a small wince after each step. The soles of your feet hitting the hot pavement, you can almost feel the black asphalt that absorbed the sun, an unbearable wave of humid wind hits your face, it serves as a reminder, you were home. 

With an ache of unsuccessfully cooling down under a barely working air conditioner from the bus ride which is now upping to be one of the worst experiences of your lifetime. You drop yourself onto the weak bench in the pitiful shade of leave-less dry tree, much as you are right now. 

Your ears are buzzing from the over usage of your earphones, but you try to focus your mind on keeping yourself sane until your ride arrives. Of course your stupid brother is annoyingly late, as always. You keep cursing him in your head and like summoned you see his truck pull in at the bus stop. 

You don't let him utter a word more than a hello before you are already in a car, bags left outside for him to take in. Perhaps it's childish but you are past caring, knowing that despite it all he will do it for you. And he does, mumbling under his breath like an old man…which was false considering he was only a few years older than you. But alas, Seungcheol made it easy for you to use your younger sibling card when you needed something. Hitching a ride from him, carrying your stuff, paying for you… Of course he would mutter curses under his breath, pout and complain he was the unappreciated middle sibling. But when it came to it, he would go beyond for his family. 

And that's exactly why he was here, picking you up from the bus ride you wished you never chose. You should have made him drive all the way to the airport, you think to yourself. But you knew he was a busy bee with keeping your family’s business going and perhaps you too did have a soft spot for him. But that thought disappears when you see him get in the car and starts whining.

‘Seriously… Why don't you get your license? You can't be, what you called it, a passenger princess your whole life! Especially since you have no driver that's crazy enough to be your personal driver’, here is it, sometimes you wonder if he was the eldest and not Seungmin. Perhaps that's why your eldest brother dipped and went overseas, giving away his responsibilities to Seungcheol like it was nothing, well…that guy was always much more interested in the city life rather than the farm. You don't blame him, you were almost the same, left the moment you could to further your education, following his footsteps and leaving the county.

Sometimes you felt guilty, Seungcheol chose to remain here, going to city only for college but always returning at the end of the day, you glance at him to check if he was still annoyed considering he grown silent of his usual nagging only to find him side eyeing you…with an expression that screamed the question, what's wrong, you are too quiet? 

Before he can actually verbalize the question you cut him off with your own. ‘How is that project of yours going along? Will we be celebrating soon?’ 

You try to decipher his reaction, trying to read any kind of significance in the drop of his shoulders, was it from relaxation or failure. ‘The project’ was something he mentioned yet never described it enough for you to get a clear idea of what it was, so you were left to wonder about the process and the finalization of it avoiding stepping on the delicate matter you don’t even know about.

He sighs but answers anyway, ‘It's almost done, I am presenting it next week. Got some guys to help out while I am out of town for it, but it's smooth sailing as of now. Don't freak out if you see new faces walking around the house.’ 

‘What? Jeonghan and Joshua are here for the summer again?’, you ask, tilting your head in confusion. ‘They aren't exactly new faces, you drag them into every conversation we have, and every holiday, I am pretty sure they have their pictures on our family’s picture wall, like their solo pictures.’

Seungcheol laughs, tapping on the wheel like you told some funny joke rather than calling him out on his…interesting relationship. ‘Them too, but I think they already made their places permanent.’ 

‘I mean, I am not saying they didn't. Rather it baffles me that you have more than two…’, you pause for a moment, ‘friends?’

‘Ha…What's that supposed to mean? I am very pleasant company, many people like me’, Seungcheol retorts, frowning his thick eyebrows and you don't have it in you to tell him that most people find him too scary to not be nice to him. So you settle on the next best thing, ‘Horses aren't considered friends in this context, just so you know.’

‘Ah, shut up. I have friends that aren't horses! Moreover I invited them too, summer work or whatever, we needed extra hands and we both know our brother is not up for it. Hell, I would be surprised if dad even knew we needed more workers.’

‘Woah, and just did you convince a bunch of frat boys to work on the field?’

‘They aren't frat boys, they are…kind of okay guys.’ 

‘Why did that sound so unsure, who in hell did you bring?’ Your question is left unanswered, because sooner than later he is pulling in your family’s property, and a sudden wave of belonging washes over you.

Greenery, trees of cherries and fields of grass wherever your eyes gaze upon, you roll down the window and breathe in the fresh scent of nature mixed with that stale smell of hard work that never really goes away. Much more different than the suffocating heat of pavement and overwhelming atmosphere of traffic and crowds in the big city. 

‘Home sweet home’, Seungcheol says, smiling brightly as the sun itself, you aren't sure why he seems so happy, he wasn't the one who was over ten hours on the plane and over four hours on the bus just to get home, but you stay quiet and take in the sight, eyes drinking up the familiar way the road curves, the way sunlight finds it's way through the leaves and you even enjoy the way the car bumbs over holes that are yet to be filled in. 

You would've loved to admire home a bit more, perhaps find a quiet corner and take a nap but you were interrupted by a scream. A blonde guy was yelling and swinging his limbs before the entrance. You turn to Seungcheol who just sighs and shakes his head, as if to show to not bothered by it. 

‘Soonyoung, get your ass away from the gate or I will floor you.’

‘No, no. Let me talk first. It wasn’t my fault’ The guy, you assume his name is Soonyoung, screeches on top of his lungs, and that is what causes your brother to raise one of prominent eyebrows, lifting his foot away from the gas pedal.

‘What do you mean it is not your fault, what did you do? Did you cause a fire in the kitchen again? Broke something again? I told you not to go in, where is Mingyu?’ And with that Seungcheol is out of the car and you right after him. 

‘Fire? What do you mean again, did you burn something before?’ You exclaim, surprised at his words. 

‘Huh? Who are you? This is the private business of the household, you ain’t qualified enough to know it!’ 

Oh, was he infuriating, how dare he say that, with such a know-it-all voice of his. Arms crossed and face red, like he was actually mad at your questions. 

‘Who are YOU my dude? It is a better question. And why are you setting my kitchen on fire? Do you know how hard it is to decorate shit in this house, there are like too many men around, and they all lack taste, except maybe Joshua sometimes, but even him, he makes interesting choices.’ 

‘I said I didn't do it, and the kitchen is just fine, even the dumb decorative towels should be fine, stupid things really...’ He makes a huff sound, like it was insulting to him personally that the towels were there for no practical use, only if you knew where they were and how ‘fine’ they actually were…

‘Huh, did you just call my decorative towels stupid, I will let you know that those are hand-emborded by my very sweet grandma, who mind you has exquisite taste, much more refined compared to you!’

You might be tired and that might be the reason you are easily riled up now, but you want to punch his handsome face so hard right now. Those towels are a cute addition, especially considering how much of the manly stuff is around the house. This guy was getting on your nerves real quick. 

‘Why would you put them in the kitchen then?! Makes no sense, you should hang them in the hallway or something!’

‘I am sorry?! They scream decorative! And they obviously look much better in the kitchen.’

Your brother lets out another annoyed sigh, not least bit amused at the bickering, in the way he expected it. You were spiteful at the core and Soonyoung was just the guy to edge you on with his comments. He shouldn’t have brought him along, well, what’s done is done, and he can’t change much. Seungcheol presses his foot back against the gas and that seems to snap the burnt hair guy just enough so he moves.

The home as your brother described was a sweet, pale yellow walls of lofty tranquility covered by wines that were draped around the large house. With hanging pots of colorfull flowers peeking out every old window, white chipping paint you remember peeling off as a kid was gone, now replaced by pretty but much brighter white. But before you can question you noticed something that wasn’t sweet, the annoying guy from before staring you down, brows furrowed as he waited for your brother to take your thing out of his car. You ignore him, the bleach must have fried his brain, Seungcheol can deal with his nonsense by himself. 

You enter, ignoring the voices you didn’t recognize, not batting an eye to figures you pass or confused looks their eyes send, your shoes tap against wooden floors, heel clicking as you walk up the steps to your room. It really doesn’t matter in the end who they are, by the Sunday’s dinner their faces would be forgotten, once you messed around with a seasonal worker, the most irritating mistake ever. An annoying guy thought he had a special place here, returned next summer and was confused once you didn't even know his name. He continued to bother you even after you laughed in his face, that is until you got him fired, that was a last time you got entangled someone of the farm’s workers. Too much of a head ache and ego boost for undeserving men that is not worth the momentary satisfation you get from them.

Once you enter the room, you throw your shoes off and look at the cheeky decor of your youth, covered in dust. Dust? That isn’t right, Mrs. Sheon was the hardworking woman who definitely knew you were coming, ah right you forgot, she left sometime last year, Seungmin mentioned it the last time you talked.

Bit by bit, you accumulate to the switch, no longer having to be grown up on the other side of the world fighting for her place away from a country bumpkin's life. You shake your head, messing up your hair with too rough of movements while running your fingers through it.

That guy really threw you off, asking who you are, a silent reminder that just the way you have changed so did your home, you don’t know it, just like you don’t know the dumb but not dumb project Seungcheol was doing here, like you don’t know when were the windows repainted, the names of the staff or how you forgot that the housekeeper who was here over a decade left.

Spiralling was cancelled once you hear the loudness of your brother's voice, which was booming over the backyard, commanding attention of the poor soul who ignated such treatment. You decided to quit before you slipped into the circle of despair and see the said changes that were made, finding your old but reliable booths and pulling out the sticky clothes you had on to exchange it with old yet fresh clothes you had in your closet, choosing to unpack later.

This time instead of cold disinterest you offer a sweet smile to the new workers, engaging in a small talk of pretending to care for their work. Soon stumbling across the crew your brother brought along with him, suddenly finding more interest in their connections to Seungcheol.

Seongcheol’s friends guessed who you were, unlike Soonyoung they had a working brain and saw your pictures adoring the wall and enough of context clues to figure it out. But what you didn’t know is that they found about you by actually listening to their friend and by the whispers of older workers, overheard by Seungkwan that morning, that went somewhere along the lines of less than kind words about ‘demanding princess who they weren't sure how even survived living on a farm for that long’ and atrocious thirsty comments that soured faces like fresh lemons.

tap tap tap 

Seungkwan's blabbing mouth spilled over their secret conversation on the next meal, whispered in a volume that nobody wanted to correct as actual yelling for the whole table was listening in. Joshua was glad that Cheol was out, the words that followed after that were hard for even him to stomach, even as a man, sure a taken man but he would never have those thoughts for a youngling like you, he bet those guys know you from the time you still wore braids to sleep and pulled on his sleeves for extra snacks at church. 

tap tap tap

Fingers continued tapping motion, mind trying to concentrate on the gossip but the tiredness of the sleepless night is slowly catching up to him. He dozed off, peaking his eyes open at the chatter happening at the table, every once in a while, yet it wasn’t enough to store the information at the back of his brain, failing to comprehend what nonsense they were talking about and just shuffling back to close his eyes. 

Once he heard the melodic bell ring of the entrance doors he snapped, rushing a hand through his messy hair as he stood up, choosing to ignore the loud noise of his friends and head somewhere more comfortable to take a nap. Choosing to avoid whatever trouble his friends were cooking up, trying to avoid stacking up hay just because he stepped on the nerves of his devil-like boss, he better not do that again, unless he wished for a night shift again. 

Well Soonyoung, didn’t take a nap because just as he was climbing up the stairs to the shed, finding the idea of napping in the hayloft soundproof plan and his own struck of geniusness, hoping that no one would find him…people did find him considering he fell through the stairs before he could even lay on the hay, with a loud thrum and even louder scream. 

His whole body was pulled by gravity through the wood, right into a goat's pen, in between a doe and her kids, who just looked at him then slowly started chewing on his hair, least amused about his sudden appearance more interested in the fried strands of blonde mess he had on top of his head. 

So when he went to find Seungcheol, an imaginative cat tail tucked between his legs, back hurting, tea towels still missing some place he didn’t dare speak of where, and pretty girl before his face and his very dear yet impossible to please friend behind her, yeah this is hell covered up in drizzle sweeter than those cherries that got him in the night shift the day before. He tried to save face, dismissing the pretty girl to save what’s left of his dignity, and to his surprise, that apparently made things even worse! This really wasn’t his summer…

This is definitely your summer, this is what you want to believe when you finally sit down. After trying to memorize the names of Seugcheol’s surprisingly large number of friends who were mostly sane, you decided to kick back at the porch and try to battle sleep in the warm afternoon, even when each and every cell in your body screamed for you to cozy up in your cherry printed sheets. But you don’t want to get jet lag and fuck up your sleep schedule even more so you try to wake up yourself with an iced drink. 

When you think of back home you don’t particularly think of work, you think of sweet cherries, stink of animals mixed with strong scent of fresh cut grass, happy chirping of fluffy chicks, caresses of sun beam on your skin and your favorite, the feeling when you crack a cold one. And what you mean by a cold one is a cold cherry cola, it’s too early in the day for alcohol. You do wish that the hiss sound of soda can wasn’t covered by machine noises but maybe it is what makes this experience more of a unique one.

The feeling of dread disappeared soon after it too, no longer feeling like a stranger in your own home, a sense of serenity filled your heart, the peace that swallowed you as you sipped on your coke.

‘So…you Coups’s sister?’ 

You cheered for that too early. 

The guy from before, the one with a bad bleach job and small eyes, was standing at the porch’s fence, leaning both of his forearms as she acted casual, but to you he seemed like anything by that. 

‘What gave it away? I am much prettier than him so I hope it wasn’t looks.’

Soonyoung chuckles and instead of the constipated look he had on when you meet him he actually looked like he enjoyed breathing instead of anticipating to be suffocated for whatever mistake he made. He still avoided looking at you, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth to stifle the laugh at your sarcastic comment. 

‘No, Joshua gave me the nastiest side-eye when I asked who you are, my bad for snapping at you, I messed up for like the third time since coming here so I was kind on edge…’

‘Third time? So did one of those mess-ups count the lighting up the kitchen or was that more then just a mess-up?’ 

‘Yes. I-I mean yeah…it was just the oven though, I put the wrong thing in and it started smoking, so you could say I smoked the kitchen and not light it up…but that was last week actually.’

He explains and you can admit he looked cute. Hoshi was looking around like an embarrassed kid, yet he explained it nevertheless, like a hamster with his hand holding onto the fence, tongue grazing his inner cheeks as he held in embarrassment and the impulse of just booking away from his mistakes.

‘Mhm, and what did you do today then?’

‘Fall down the barn’s roof…’, he mumbled out, under his breath so low that it was impossible to hear, you are doubting if he actually said anything or just moved his mouth to breathe.

‘What? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you.’ You said leaning in, awaiting his response. 

‘I fell down the roof of the barn where goats are, okay!’ 

It took you a moment for the words to actually hit you, but when they did you were gone, already picturing the scene in your head. ‘Hahaha… You did what!? I can’t believe it, are the goats okay?’

‘Are they okay?! They started chewing on my hair like it was a three michelin appetizer! I am the one who got hurt! They had an early lunch and I fell down and pretty sure twisted all of my bones!’

‘I can’t! Your hair does look like hay, I can’t fault them for thinking that!’

‘It does not!’

‘It so does!’

Soonyoung, was feeling not even a bit ashamed by his actions when he heard your charming laughter, figures that a cute girl like you would have a lovely laugh too. Rather he found it exciting like he has done quite a good job instead of messing up miserably, giving himself an imaginative tap on his shoulders. Joshua said that you are hard to please and that he should drop it before he got in your bad graces, he wasn’t sure what the guy meant by ‘it’ but he didn’t stick around to hear whatever he would explain his words or not. Bolting once he saw the top of your head going towards the porch. He liked your laugh a lot, the way you leaned your whole body forward, holding onto your drink for support, putting more pressure than necessary that he can almost make out a dent in the metal, even that was cute to him, the way you beamed with cheerful energy. 

He wasn’t better than you by any means, a smile spread out on his face and he felt his cheeks start to hurt, chuckles escaping him, bubbling up under his hand. He had more restraint than he would usually have, fighting an urge to jump over the fence just so he could take a better look at you and hear your giggles clearer. 

Once you calmed down, he chipped in. ‘If only Coups had the same type of humor like you…do you know? He made me arrange hay last night over a silly mistake! He is already cooking up a punishment, I feel it in my bones. He wouldn't let me slip by that easily.’

‘I doubt lighting up, I mean smoking up the kitchen is a small mistake. You definitely deserved that one.’

‘Oh for that I had to scrub down the floors, the hay throwing was for ruining the tea towels, I ruined them by wiping spilled cherry juice over the table. I threw them in the washing machine so they turned pink!’

Soonyoung once again smiled, stifled a laugh, fully expecting you to do the same, awaiting to hear the same joyous melody again, but you didn’t. Your smile dropped faster then he did in the barn and he choked back his laugh, fuck he was just in good books the moment ago. 

‘You did what now?’

‘Ah-right…you said-oh…’ A cold chill ran down his spine, he forgot, his mind was so caught up in making you laugh that he forgot what you said not even an hour ago.

‘I can’t believe it! Not only were you shitting on them, you actually ruined them!’ You put your cola down on the table, rising on your feet as you took a step towards him.

‘I didn’t ruin them, I mean yeah they aren’t the same but they are pink! Girls like pink, it goes along with the too manly stuff you said!’ 

‘So you were listening!? And yet you have the nerve to admit it so openly!" 

‘Ah-ah? Wait wait! Please hear me out!’ His hands were raised up to his ears as he came to realization that you in fact were Seungcheol’s sister, and the way you were glaring him down was enough of a conviction he would ever need.

'Look, look. It wasn't my intention to mess them up, I was looking for something to wipe  down the surface and well I saw them just chilling, you know the syrup is sticky I couldn’t just let it drip down on the floor!’

His pleading made you even more mad for some reason, so you just turned around just so you could avoid looking at his guilt stricken expression and change your new opinion on him, third time in the same day is too much.

‘I can’t believe I actually thought positively about you just now!’ , and with that you leave him be, going inside, leaving your already flat soda behind. He truly was something else, to think he actually thought it was okay to laugh about the towels…sure it was a pointless thing to be mad about, but your grandparents live far enough that you barely see them, and your grandma placed a lot of care into making them with you, it was one of your core memories of your childhood. 

So you think you had a fair right to be at least mad at the guy, sure he had no idea of it, wait…now you feel kind of bad. Before you can question your opinion of him again you rush to your room and throw yourself onto your bed, hell with adjusting to the time zone that's a problem for tomorrow’s you. You close your eyes tight enough that you feel your eyelids strain, chasing away every thought about that smiley guy, forcing yourself to sleep just so your mind can finally rest, away from any kind of complicated doubts and twisted emotions you have about coming home. Home, you were home and it was far from the sweet welcome you expected. 

[wowcaratvivi]

⤷. 🎹. ʸᵒᵒⁿ ʲᵉᵒⁿᵍʰᵃⁿ ☕. 🐈‍⬛.

⟶ ⋮ 𖦹 - ┆♡

YJ 𝓲𝓷 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮

[wowcaratvivi]

[wowcaratvivi]

new series, written by yours truly, moi~

📍summer bummer ˎˊ˗

synopsis. coming back home for the summer should be relaxing, that is if you have a tiger-shaped pest getting under your skin and maybe under your sheets

paring(s). kwon soonyoung x reader, side poly 95' line

genre(s). non-idol au, drama, slice of life, summer romance, farm worker and boss's sister, smut, little bit of angst, older brother's friend hoshi

warning(s). mature themes, explicit words and scenes, alchohol consumption, not suitable for younger audience

📍⋮ table of contents¹⁷

chapter one home sweet home

chapter two tba

📍⋮ (playlist ♫) ˎˊ˗

before you lie down next to me-lana del rey⋮ black bainting suit-lana del rey ⋮ living legend-lana del rey ⋮ false god-taylor swift ⋮ violets for roses-lana del rey ⋮ summer bummer-lana del rey ⋮ rope it-jin ⋮ cowboy-selena gomez ⋮ you were a dream-artemas ⋮ white ferrari-frank ocean ⋮ get you-daniel ceasar

[wowcaratvivi]

ᴵ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ˡⁱᵍʰᵗˢ ᵘᵖ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵃᵘᵍʰ

⤷ ⋮ ┆ 🦋

₍^. .^₎⟆

ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ⁱᵗ ʰᵃˢ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵐʸ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈ

[wowcaratvivi]

synopsis. joshua is a gentleman with impeccable sense of direction and lucky strike in finding you

paring(s). hong joshua x f!reader

genre(s). non-idol au (not specified), fluff?, angst?, drama

warning(s). mentions and apperiance of a toxic ex (reader's), mention of drinking, reader knows how to drive (and practices safe driving as you all should), again angst? if you count it as angst

word count. 2.7k

a/n. original plot was darker but then I realized that it's joshua and I like him too much for that, I hope the flow makes sense, I was writing this and school work at the same time so it might sound bit... too professional, mouth-full?

no usage of y/n, written in second person pov

If everyone who knew Joshua could describe him in one word, it would be the word gentleman. Suitable noun to be attached to him, for the man did have a gentle smile and all of the proper manners memorized in the tip of his pinky finger. Always holding respect for people around him, acts of consideration before you could even notice with the touch soft as a feather, tender, comforting, many wouldn't ever think twice to trust him.

You too share the same credence as others, Joshua is a gentleman. You would never deny that. How could you, he was always one step ahead of your needs, like now for example, as he was moving through dresses laid on the bed, the ones he made sure to steam and place out for you. 

It was your anniversary dinner, and as always he took care of everything. Part of you feels bad about it, how all you had to do was bring along your gift and dress up, well he helped you with the later too. Showing you options with his giddy smile he was forcing down, he used the excuse of matching, but part of you had suspicion he just wanted to see you in those dresses, but was too awkward to just ask. 

Perhaps you did notice how he stirs your opinion on each dress, always finding a fault in it, but just in the same you don’t think twice when you settle on his choice for the night, simply thinking that once again your tastes are overlapping. One more concurrence in your relationship, you liked it that way.  

You are reminded he is a gentleman in the hallway where he puts your heels on for you, avoiding the ones he knows hurt just enough to be uncomfortable but not enough to be thrown away. Once more, when he drives you to the restaurant, he talks, filling the silence with his voice, reminding you of your nail appointment next week and asking when to pick you up. 

With that in mind you think of the last week, the day that actually started this spiraling of you pondering Joshua’s title of gentleman, you offered to drive your friend and their car home, considering they were more than tipsy to get there safely, and just as you checked if you had your driving licence on you noticed something amiss, its expired. 

There was staring back at you a license that expired last year, not a couple of days, weeks even, it was almost ten months ago. You try to figure out how you hadn't noticed that as you balance your drunk friend on your shoulder and then it clicks in your head, you started dating Joshua last year. The guy who insisted on driving you almost everywhere, the guy who had a GPS installed in his head when it came to you. 

As you start laughing at your predicament, finding the whole situation insane and sharing the bad news with your friend. The same one who, bless her heart, started teasing about what gentleman your boyfriend was, gagging at the sweetness of not turning on your car for almost a year because you had a private driver. You nod your head, half listening to her rant as you dial his number, heart beating against your chest as he picks after the second ring, you almost second question if you were the sober one. 

Usually, event like that would go over your head, you would laugh about it when you had debrief with your boyfriend and move on, shaking your head as you mumble about renewing your license, but what made you pause was simple, ‘You don’t have to rush you know, it will continue to collect dust anyways. Besides, that way you can’t run off too far’ It was a joke, obviously, driving yourself wasn't the only way of transportation, but what made you choke on air was the words that followed. ‘Well even if you go too far I will find you, I always do.’ 

Romantic, you think at first, flush covers your cheeks, you even giggle, like some highschool girl with a crush. It feels nice, he did always seem to find you, no matter where you were, like he was your personal guardian angel, always there, lurking even when you couldn't see him.

And that is when you realize that most people who claim Joshua's gentleman agenda don't understand that despite him being as gentle as the rose petals whose scent overtakes the whole room he will always be too overwhelming in the same way you cover your nose when you pass the perfume aisle in the store. Basic as you may be to make that comparison it was the first that came to your brain when Joshua showed real interest in you. His usual passive expression on his face, the one with an automatic smile you used to question if it was practiced, as he holds the umbrella over your head, for some reason the droplets of rain that soaked your clothes didn't feel as cold as his gaze did.

You aren't sure how or why he was there, you just got broken up with and he showed up, shielding you from the rain. Like he was some k-drama’s male lead you watched when you wanted to feel something other than constant disappointment of your own relationships. His own clothes were getting ruined at a rapid pace yet the world stopped for a minute. Million other thoughts running through your head yet you couldn’t verbalize them, couldn’t even open your mouth to greet him, thank him, nothing. All you could do is listen, to the murmur of the raindrops hitting the world around you, and his voice-

‘Are you okay?’

You were’t sure.

‘Are you cold’

Maybe

‘Do you want to go inside?’

Possibly, but then you would have to face the fact that your face was wet from tears and not the dumb rain.

‘Hey, can you look at me?’

Oh.

You raise your gaze to meet his, it is not the same expression he had five, ten minutes ago. His brows were pulled together, something like a frown but you weren't sure. You come to the conclusion you aren’t sure of many things, considering you wouldn't be able to describe the emotion that was burning behind those beautiful brown eyes of his. He steps closer to you, pushing you to take steps of your own, just backwards. You are too immersed into his expression that you almost don’t notice your back hitting the wall of the covered bus station. 

‘’Did you finally break up with that bastard?’

Oh?

He must have seen your raised eyebrows and gaping mouth like a fish on the shore, because he laughed. What a gratifying laugh, your lips pressed shut together forming into a smile. He runs his fingers through his wet hair strands and shakes his head in a way that reminds you of a wet dog drying off, you bet you looked like a wet cat in comparison. 

‘Is that a yes?’

‘Yeah, its a yes’

You answer his question for the first time, voice quivering from coldness and something more. 

‘What a relief, he was ugly’

Your cheeks are hurting from the smile stretching on your face, a hum graces his ears, like you are agreeing with the statement but trying to be a bigger person.

‘And you are really pretty… What an ass, he had someone as amazing as you and let you slip right trough of his fingers’

Oh!

Joshua raises his eyebrows, a boyish smile covering up and replacing all of the memories of previous times you saw his smile. He must really enjoy your shocked expressions, but you don’t think of that, you don’t dare think of that.

‘I like your smile the most but surprise is a close second. No, I lied, I still haven’t seen them all, I bet you look even more beautiful when you wake up and your brain tries to catch up with the world, you seem like the type.’

He says, and for the third time this night he shocked you.

‘Sorry? Too fast? Maybe, but I've been biting my tongue for as long as I've known you. like every cell in my being was screaming to make you laugh, to be the reason you laugh. And seeing you drenched after getting out of the shackles that asshole put you in, seeing your face light up again like you remembered you are alive? I just want to make sure your mind never goes back to clouds of doubt that you aren’t deserving of everything a real man can offer.’ 

Oh! OH!

He doesn’t stop, tripping over some words, you yourself never saw him like this, trying to catch up with his own thoughts, fixing mistakes he stutters out.

‘Woah, that’s a lot. I know. I should be poring everything out right now, very bad timing’

At least he recognizes it.

‘But…ever since we met, I find myself always around you, like there was some sort of running joke I wasn’t aware of. Suddenly we had mutual friends, same gym, same schedules, same coffee shop, same hobbies, same taste in decor, it was some kind of twisted torment to be pinning over you while you were in a stable relationship, constantly seeing you like a reminder that you are…too much of compatibility for me to be just a coincidence.’

Was he two steps behind or two steps ahead of you? Did it matter? He was there, wasn’t he? A friend of a friend? An acquaintance from all of your usual spots? A guy with whom you go to pottery class every Thursday afternoon? A neighbor down the street who gifted you a new watering can when yours rusted from being left out during winter. A friend who makes sure your cup is full and the plate never empty when he sits next to you? 

You think of what you would use to describe him as that isn't a gentleman.  It wasn't rose either, nor petals, nor any poetic shit you come up with when you think of him. 

He had a honeyed smile, talked in the same sweet way, with a saccharine voice, like you would get a sugar rush every time he spoke to you. Tone soft, precious, like he was reading poetry rather than spitting lies one after another. He wasn't some bad guy in your story, far from it. 

He loves you, you are almost certain of that. Even beyond his facade, beyond the dark glimmer of his gaze when he thinks you aren't looking. He truly loves you, maybe that love is mixed with obsession, maybe a bit of hatred too. Hatred for making him wait so long, hatred for dating that guy instead of him, hatred for your uncertain words the day he confessed under the rain. Yet that hatred was never directed to you, for he never turned his hypothetical rose thorns towards you, he was always soft, delicate, gentle. There is that word again, gentle. He was a gentle man, your man, yet you couldn't use it to describe him completely without feeling that there is something missing.

You think back of the day you went to pick your things from your ex's place, Joshua was there, funnily enough, he drove you there after a date you two went to. Your ex boyfriends dropped your stuff unceremoniously in your hands then glazed back at Joshua waiting in her car, then back at you.

‘That dude…You..’

‘What?’

‘I know I've been an ʼʼasshole’’.’ 

He says, mockingly muttering out those words, as he doesn't believe he ever was in the wrong throughout your relationship- ‘but that guy is bad news, a real creep’

‘What do you mean?’

You never heard someone use creep as a word to attach to Joshua. 

‘Ugh’, a groan, like the need for explanation shouldn't exist at all, like it should be so obvious. You are reminded of all the times he would act like your questions were stupid and once again you are glad you don't have to put up with him. 

‘Are you seriously asking that? He was always two steps behind you, every time there was an event he was there! Every time I open socials there he is, next to you! Like he was your boyfriend and not me, and do you know how creepy it is when he calls me for you!’

‘Calls you?’

‘Duh, like he just says, where are you? Why does he want to know, even when I broke up with you, hold and behold, his ID was showing up on my phone as you finally left to swallow in your own pity party’

He irks you, with his words and part of you wants to just snatch your stuff from his musty hands and leave…but part of you wants to hear him out. Wants to know if it is really true Joshua was talking with your ex while the two of you were dating. He never mentioned that, hell you didn't even know he had his number, your ex never joined your friend group, hell you even forced him to join you on events they would be present. And Joshua never put much attention on who you were dating, then again he never put attention on the fact he liked you either.

‘Did he now? You sure you aren’t just bitter I am moving on?’

‘Wow, wooow’ He boasts, loud and loutish, and you don’t even have to turn around to know Joshua now had his window rolled down. What a circus, and the head clown was convinced his nose is a red ball and that it is in fact fabulous. 

‘Think what you want, you are missing out on a catch like me, not the other way around. Be with a stalker if you want, I don’t care’ 

He rambles on for a couple minutes more, about how you are insane to think he would ever think twice about you after today, and that you better not come crawling back after you realise what mess you made for yourself, you stop listening and check if all your things are in the busted-out basket. Once you conclude that what could be left with him isn’t important enough to wait for him to finish his rant you scoop your things back up, away from his ugly basket. 

Once you turn you see Joshua with one leg out of the car, eyebrows raised, eyes widened as if he was a meerkat caught in some trouble, back straightening up once your eyes meet. You chuckle and your ex must have realised you aren’t paying him attention anymore, with a surprisingly short string of curses he slammed the door shut. 

Joshua returns your smile once you are near enough for him to hold onto stuff you were carrying, pushing them into the backseat. 

‘He is louder when there aren’t people around. Glad you won’t have to hear such badly articulated sentences anymore’

‘What about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘Aren’t you glad you won’t have to listen to him anymore?’

A pause. Then a shake of his head and a laugh, he doesn't do it condisending way, rather he does it to himself, you soon realize why, once he mumbles out next words like a secret confession.

‘I tried not to listen to him speak in the first place, but then again I wasn't the one in relationship with him, couple of exchanged words that are ignored don't come close being with him’

‘Woah, Joshua ignoring people, that's a new one…’

‘Well he was always a churlish pal, lacking much grace when talking about…others. I don’t think paying attention to whatever brash words may come out of his mouth are worth anything really.’ 

He gives an awkward smile, the one that tells you more than words. You pretend not to notice the pause, a deflection on not to say he talked bad about you specifically, you nod along, agreeing. 

So wherever that question comes up, wherever someone asks you who your boyfriend is, what's he like. You would smile and say. Gentleman, because the parts of him that would question that statement are the parts that only you will see, and you will make sure of that. You will leave your location on, ask for a ride even when you don’t have to, turn a blind eye to his soft influence, pretend you don’t know that lucky meetings were not dependent on fate but on how good Joshua knew you.

[wowcaratvivi]

[wowcaratvivi]

One day, one day when Pledis offically releases Purple Rose everyone will get tired of me bc of that song will be ON repeat 24/7. Jeonghan, you can't just change my life like that and never talk about it again.

[wowcaratvivi]

'FLASHBACK WHEN YOU MET ME, YOUR BUZZCUT AND MY HAIR BLEACHED' pt2

[wowcaratvivi]

synopsis. he is worth waiting for, even if your mind tears your heart open, you can patch it up, together

paring(s). yoon jeonghan x gn!reader

genre(s). fluff, hurt-comfort

warning(s). light angst, they kiss, implied long term relationship

word count. 1.1k

a/n. written for pre-active military service (where he is going away for basic training), but it can be read in general context of him being gone bc of compulsory military service

no usage of y/n, written in second person pov, old work

The sky had long ago been swallowed by the gloom of the night, the only lights that were left on were city lampposts, shimmering onto the wet streets and peaking through the open curtains. They had lost their usual intensity of Seoul’s colorful bling, fading into quiet afterthought. The faded lights drip across crumpled sheets just a hair strand away from you, offering silent solidarity.

They're like you in a way, sitting at the corner of your bed, overthinking. The itch to be hurt in you is recollecting memories using the shapes they form, just like the lights stray away and go to corners no one goes to. Away from their purpose of lighting up the road to somewhere, anywhere but here. Your thoughts are the same, rattled in a million directions, spilling over into something you no longer understand, just a mix of shards in the shape of the unrecognizable reflection.

There was no sound, only edging silence. The same silence that caressed your skin like a cool night breeze, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Hate is a strong word but right now you hate the silence, the stillness of your world against the tremor of your mind.

And as if the universe heard you it was interrupted by the sound of the entrance door opening and closing shut. Trud was heard, a catalyst shaped like a lighter was triggered and it set your lungs on fire, you started breathing after being suffocated by your own being. Fresh out of water, free from the saltness you tasted on your lips.

The monotone feeling of false serenity has been broken in hundred pieces, they lay on the floor and peck your skin when your foot presses and crushes them further, until they are just a speck of dust. Forgotten. 

Pitter of steps moving towards you, a soul aching to be satisfied by comforting presence, a sense of home. Soothing is the body that collides in yours even if the weight almost crashes your whole body into the sheets. Even in the darkness, the spillage of the emotions is ever apparent, your heart is open as you feel the warmth of the man above you.

You both don’t say anything but the quietness isn’t suffocating, it is followed by a heartbeat that isn’t just yours anymore, it's present in a sigh that promises another day. Closed eyes and dreamless state, you wished this fullness in your chest would last forever, that the arms holding you never let go. Jeonghan’s arms tighten around you like he is aware of the thoughts that consume your mind, body rolling over to your side, simply out of courtesy to not mush you too much, just enough.

‘You waited for me.’ A statement, cutting through the lull of your being. You peek one eye open, just to see the corners of his face, he was staring at you already, with a level of awareness you wouldn't expect of him to have this late in the night, not after the day he had.

‘Aren’t I supposed to wait for you no matter how long it takes?’ You ask, not really expecting an answer, just letting the word echo between cold walls and warm bodies.

Rather than seeing it you feel his mouth curving into a smile, his face pressed into your neck before you can turn your head towards him. A groan mixed in with some sort of giggle, both drowsy and deep, starts ringing in your ear even when he stops.

Sleep doesn't overtake you, even if you feel your body drip further into the sheets, giving up from day's work, day’s unrest. Your nervous system is up in flames yet it’s soothed by the delicate touch of the breath that caresses your cheek. This time you open your eyes and you are welcomed by the sight worth more than you will even earn in your life.

Eyes glimmering of some emotion you aren’t sure can be found in your vocabulary, much less be named now, your brain shutting down. His face right in front of yours, bare of both paint of appearance and one made of chemicals.

‘Will you wait for me even if I can’t come back like this?’

Those words leave his lips, muttered out in the form of soft prayer, pleading framed as a question, packed up as if he wasn’t the reason your heart beats in such yielding way. As if you didn’t wait for him every long night just so you can breathe again.

Would you survive the wait he speaks of? You ask yourself on sleepless nights, when you stare at the nothingness. You agree with yourself at the end, like a well played play, the conclusion is always the same. The actors kiss and live happily ever after. You ignore every tragedy, every version of the conversation that doesn’t agree with you.

‘Yes’, simple and short, the answer to every doubt of your mind conjured up, you could, you would and you will.

‘Even if it wasn't the same? Even if I wasn't the same?’

The further questioning makes you think that he too is arguing with himself, like it was some complicated ploy at work, like he has to make sure every edge of the page is ironed out before he starts reading.

‘Yes, I would engrave the promise of us in my skin if I could even if the future isn’t certain, just so I could go over it with my fingers. I would count it as a prophecy, you leave and you come back, mellowed out, bones aching from sitting down rather than being on stage, tired out from accountant books, carrying bitter taste of too much coffee on your lips’ 

You glance up from his eyes, up to his short hair, reminding you that your time tonight is also short. Your fingers follow your gaze, you will take it, you vow to yourself, every distance, every leave and every transfer. 

‘I wouldn't mind the charge because we would go through it bit by bit, together.’

A sigh, you felt it on your lips this time, just before he pressed them against yours. You wished one kiss, one touch, one conversation could ease the mind, could make everything fine and that you could run out in the field of flowers giggling like children. But in a way, part of you is glad there is no happy ending, because you don’t want it to end. You want it to be real, you want every night while you wait to feel his absence, to feel the ache that could be satisfied only by his tender touch. Maybe it is because you never wish to take whatever he is giving for granted, he is worth waiting for. 

[wowcaratvivi]

don't get comfused this is me, I thought I reposted w this account so if you are seeing this for second time, its bc it isn't showing :)

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