the problem with āyou donāt owe anyone else anythingā is that what I think people first meant when they said it was ādonāt apologize for existing, you do not owe others for tolerating you being alive especially if they are cruel to youā but what everyone online took it as āif someone in your life ever asks you for anything ever you should kill themā
it's my grandpa's 40th day and i'll be going to a service with mom and grandma, i feel like i have to because i couldn't make it to the funeral. yesterday i went to grandma's house to help prepare the food and the weird thing is, the place doesn't feel more haunted than it was when he was alive. he's had dementia for a long time. it wasn't obvious at first, he was always reserved, spent a lot of time alone, but then you would come over and he would talk to you like normal but ten minutes later he would ask you the same questions, and then he would ask you about high school even though you've already graduated, got into college and dropped out, and you say that school is fine, that you've got straight A's. and grandma, my dear, beloved, harsh, judgemental grandma would tell him to shut up. she would tell him he doesn't know what he's saying. every. single. time. it went in for years. so he stopped talking. he used to love fishing, but then he started getting lost, so he wasn't allowed to leave the house on his own. he used to garden, but then he started getting confused and doing more harm than good, so he couldn't do that either. so he would just sit around the house, silently staring into space. grandma would feed him, clothe him, bathe him, change his diaper, but she would make it clear that he is a burden to her. last time i saw him was when he fell off a chair on the porch and grandma needed help getting him up. i lifted him by one arm, grandma - the other, and mom held his hands. his arm felt like jello wrapped around bone. mom asked him if he was hurt, and he looked past her. grandma scoffed, "he doesn't talk," she said. later mom told me that sometimes he did speak to her, his only daughter, but only when grandma wasn't around, weakly, with incredible strain. he got older than his years.
when i heard about his death, my first thought was, "i can't let grandma stay in that house alone, i have to quit my job and move in with her." my second thought was, "are you insane? she would drive you to the grave too!" (ŃŠ¶ŠøŠ²ŃŃ ŃŠ¾ ŃŠ²ŠµŃŠ°)
when i was leaving grandma's house yesterday, she asked me: "would you come live with me?" and i said "we're incapable of living together" (Š¼Ń Ń ŃŠ¾Š±Š¾Š¹ Š½Šµ ŃŠ¶ŠøŠ²ŃŠ¼ŃŃ)
Relating to the cannibalism anon, I work at a funeral home and have accidentally ingested cremated remains when I drank some water. I was like oh. Itās gritty. Someoneās grandma is inside me.
had a fascinating dream last night where there was a new, virally popular trading card game - it was called MOUNTAIN (stylised in all caps) and the whole gimmick was that you couldnāt buy boosters or anything - you had to find them?
nowhere sold MOUNTAIN - I mean, I expect players did, once cards were in their hands.
but acquiring cards meant noticing a box lying around, and justā¦.nabbing it? theyād be in weird places - in a skip, wedged high up in a fence, nestled in the branches of a tree? nobody ever saw who left them there, and there was a lot of debate about how MOUNTAIN boxes were sometimes hard to acquire without risking oneās physical safety - but then, that was also bragging rights. especially as harder-to-reach boxes seemed to contain more elusive and sought after cardsā¦
no, I donāt remember anything about the actual gameplay, we never played any MOUNTAIN. alas. I know there were āframe cardsā that were literally transparent but for a fancy metallic or holographic border, which I guess upgraded the card they were applied to? frames were super rare, my coworker literally ran up to me in the pub purely to show off the frame heād just found
dream brain gimme the deets on MOUNTAINās actual mechanics, Iām invested in this controversial unpurchasable scavenger hunt game