write-rhiwind-blog

[write-rhiwind-blog]

I liked this, here ya go.

[write-rhiwind-blog]

2.1

We glided over humble waves, gently bumping along the water. Janis sat up front at the bow of the boat. Edith and I both sat closer to the cabin while we played soldiers. Well, I played soldiers. She had dolls.

Mother sat just behind Father as he steered the boat along. I glanced up to the sky, as streaks of oranges and reds dance in the clouds with the setting sun. Fading into a rosy pink, then soft purple. The clouds were especially thick today, more than normal. The yuck in the air caused an even more beautiful sunset than yesterday or the day before.

I looked to Edith, “Do you see the magician in the clouds?” I laughed. “He’s right there! Pulling the rabbit from his hat.” I joked and pointed to the sky.

“Gregory hush, all I see is a jumbled up mess.” She spat. “There’s no magician in the clouds.”

“It’s because you have no imagination, Edith.” Janis spoke blandly, her voice playful but sharp. She adjusted her ponytail, short wisps of amber still flurrying around her forehead. “There’s plenty of images in the clouds.”

I could just barely hear Edith mumble something before Mother called us all to the cabin to make supper.

All three of us shuffled from our spots above deck down into the boat. Gathering at a small table just big enough for our family, if that. It was a squeeze. Just feet away Mother flicked on a hot cook top, and placed a pot of water on it. I watched her grab all the ingredients for my favorite pasta dish. My lips form a small smile.

Edith scoffs at the canned corn rather than corn from the cob. Complaining that it “doesn’t taste nearly as good if you don’t cut it off the cob yourself.”

“Well darling,” Mother started, “I am deeply sorry that you feel that way, but we can’t have corn directly off the cob for a little bit. Just the food on the boat for now.”

I thought about if we had a little farm on the boat, with a small garden on the little roof above the captain’s chair. A brown and white chicken in a nice, comfy cage and a dog. Just because I want a dog, though. It would be nice, and Edith could have her corn on the cob rather than in a can.

“Momma,” I spoke up. “How long will we be on the boat?”

Her rhythm while chopping onions slowed, “I’m not quite sure Greg. We just need to find some place.. better. A fresh start.”

[write-rhiwind-blog]

The Con: End

Recently I’ve been somewhat trapped. I trapped myself in a relationship with a boy, I met through our mutual friend at a sushi restaurant, and I fell instantly. Everything else around me disappeared. We became quick friends because we got along great. Plenty of common interests and laughing. The three of us became quite close smoking and skating together along with other hooliganry. In fact the first night I even met him. We all almost went to jail, like I said hooligans. But we didn’t. So we celebrated by getting more fucked up and skating down hill at top speeds with sliding gloves. Well, he did anyway. Mutual friend and I stayed back and drove the car down to meet him. Only to find out he biffed it right at the bottom and tore his elbow up. Of course being the caring person I am. I jump to tend to his wounds. After laughing and taking pictures of course. Later after he injured himself again. All three of us hanging out turned into him and I hanging out every single day, even at least a little bit even when we told ourselves we wouldn’t. We ended up in bed quite fast. Faster than I’d like to admit.. it didn’t matter that he had a girlfriend at the time for some reason. And I’m not normally that type of girl.. He had told me about her, she was constantly belittling him, stressing him out. He showed me messages of how rude she would be sometimes. But their situation prevented him from being able to leave her.. I got so upset every single time I’d see or hear of her treating him like trash then kissing up to get what she wanted from him. I hated the way she manipulated him. So I always calmed him down, made sure he was comfortable and taken care of. He’s kind of a health nut, so he’s constantly drinking water. Honestly this boy is so nuts about water, it’s kind of adorable. Only purified drinking water though. So I always made sure he had some when he was thirsty. He also really likes natural medicines like flower concentrates and coconut oil. So I’d just listen to him spew off facts about that and any other little thing he learned on Reddit. I loved it though. I’m getting off topic. I always wanted him to be happy, I wanted to be his happy place. Eventually his girlfriend who is also cheating on him, just like he was her.. decides she would rather go hangout with another guy than him. (Again) It broke his heart. Because despite the way she treated him. For some odd reason he was still so in love with her. But it hurt him really really badly, more than he would admit at the time.. And he ended up staying with me that night. We just hung out with my roommates, trying to keep his mind off of it smoking and laughing yanno. I can’t remember but Im pretty sure we just cuddled and held each other real close all night.. now that he was free from the relationship that stressed him every time it was even brought up. We were together, all the time. Neither of us had jobs. He had been struggling for some months, and I was newly unemployed due to the massive amount of turmoil erupting in my life. So it was just us. Living off what we had. Kind of just messing around all the time. Having fun, going to sprouts just to look around and get a sandwich. He loved sprouts, so he would always tell me little facts about this drink or that organic coffee. But hes also kind of an expert thief.. he doesn’t do anything more than little trinkets or alcohol. But he’s good. Real good. And the two of us were Bonnie and Clyde with out a doubt (yes I am ashamed of my actions but it was exhilarating and new. Wild and spontaneous, judge me). So if we weren’t doing that we were celebrating. Or driving to wherever just to chill and smoke a joint, because he was also an expert at rolling. Or laid up at my apartment watching movies or playing GTA. Well he was. I just laid in his lap and cheered him on, he’s really fricken good at that game. We even cooked dinner for us and my roommates. Cleaned up the kitchen afterwards like real adults. It was amazing. We took my pupper to the dog park. Who actually ended up being more his son than my dog anymore. It was so great, everything about him was so great. My dog loved him, I’d introduced him to my entire family (which says a lot because my family is full of interesting and unsavory characters) and they all loved him and he loved them.. we never ever argued. Not a single time, it was almost like we just understood each other. I knew when he was uncomfortable. Like certain social situations. I saw this boy in so many different lights, a million different sides. His hungry side, because trust me, he isn’t himself on an empty stomach. A man completely motivated by food. Yet, he was still fit and lean. I’d seen his charming and cleaned up version. His silly stoned, reckless character. His comedic side, which is almost always prominent. I always fell even harder for him when he’d take a silly joke too far. Others made fun of him or stared awkwardly but I lived for it. His silly jokes taken too far were always my favorite, even though I’d never let him know that. I’d also seen him cry because of the guilt that haunts him because he knows he’s a sinner and how he wants to change himself but is unsure how. Being so interested in psychology, I was so fascinated by such a character as him. We came from slightly similar backgrounds. He even compared me to him when he was 18 several times. He is 20, I am 18. I felt perfectly content with him, I was comfortable in my own skin around him. I felt safe and happy, everything I could ask for was there. Eventually he got hired as a server at a nice restaurant, perfect for his charismatic self. Things were working out. I gave him the space he needed to cope and be comfortable. Completely understanding that he doesn’t trust easily.. but a little over a month after him and her had broken up. He had to move back in with her. The situation that I mentioned prior, well he lived with her and her parents. He owed them rent money and needed to pay it off.. I trusted him with my whole heart at this point. Of course I didn’t want him to move away from what we had started. But he reassured me that nothing would change him and I would still see each other and he would come back and we could live together again. I had no reason not to believe him. Over just 2 months of knowing him at this point. I had already started to fall for him and everything he was. He moved back in. We hung out still just like he said. The first night I dropped him back off at home, he kissed me goodbye for a real long time and told me he was happy to see where this was going with us. The next day he came over same as before. We took a shower together after lunch. He got out early to go get something from the store. And when I got out, I saw he had left his phone. I wanted to take a cute picture for him as I do often. I never ever would have thought to look through his phone. I trusted him and saw no reason for it. But when I unlocked his phone.. it was already all right there for me to see.. they had started talking again. Not romantically. Sexually. And reading the sexts between the two of them made me physically ill. My heart shattered in that very instant. Along with my trust, that would never be fully repaired. And that’s how it started. The downfall and the falling out of love. After that he didn’t hesitate to mention that we hadn’t yet put an official label on us. Even though he was living at my apartment, driving my car, we went on dates, he told people at the restaurants we dine n dashed I was his girlfriend. But nope, it wasn’t official. After this my heart broke over and over again. Because he started to lie to me, he’d never done that before.. he continued to lie to me. Over and over. I had watched him smooth talk waiters and anyone else. He was a magnificent con artist to put it in harsher terms. but when he started to lie to me, I felt no more important than the Apple bee’s waitress he finessed into free food that one night.. I tried so hard to believe him but my gut told me otherwise. I caught him and I got my feelings hurt every single time. At some point I threatened to tell her about him and I, because she still didn’t know.. would I have done it? No. Probably not. But I wanted him to see how hurt I was by his actions and understand how far he was pushing me. I wanted him to feel the consequences of playing these games.. after this he never saw me the same I don’t think. Because our drama drags out for another 2 months up until this very moment as I type this. At some point. My voice became annoying to him, the way I “talk at him” when I’m upset and ranting. I don’t ever know the right time or place for things. I just couldn’t please him anymore. That’s how it felt. I still wanted to make sure he was taken care of, I still wanted to make him happy. But my feelings kept getting hurt when he continued to choose her. I was working and trying for him so much harder than she was. I still took him to work, even moments after wiping my tears from an argument that we’d just had.. I still wanted him to succeed. I didn’t want to stress him out but after being sidelined for so long it just built up. This goes on for what seems like forever. And outside sources started to tell me I should give up on him, “just let him go” “why do you still try” “he’s using you” “he doesn’t care”. Because after learning bits and pieces of so many different things about him, I know that no one ever treated him the way he deserved. I knew that he had to fend for himself. He had to lie for his own survival in the lifestyle he had.. I didn’t want to give up on him like every one else. I wanted to prove to him that he can be loved. There are people who will treat him right. But as time went on, my feelings for him got more invested and more hurt. Me trying to talk about things became me being upset all the time and arguing because he refused to talk about these things. I just became one of his stressors. The one thing I never wanted to be. And that was exactly what I became. Over 4 months, I have fallen in love, fallen apart, fallen out of love. And now I’m putting myself back together again.

((1/14/17))

[write-rhiwind-blog]

The Con

I fell in love with the eye contact he holds The smooth tone in his voice Even the very words he spoke His mind remains a maze of intelligence Everything has this rhythm And he has this way about him A different mind than most I fell in love with the lies The excitement of deceit And his unique comedic charm I fell in love with the way he lies Lies to everyone Everyone but me I swooned for the kiss Always the very end Hearts thudding against our chests Our breath taking moments of victory I fell in love with his determination The wild spark in his eyes Always with a new adventure to unfold I'm enamored with his mystery And I'm enthralled by his ways I fell in love with the con artist I'm just the con But this is okay Because I'm not hurt I'll just show him What I've learned Who's Clyde without Bonnie Or Bonnie without Clyde ((12/2/16))

[write-rhiwind-blog]

1.1

Grit on the bottom of my sneakers creates loud, echoing steps as I walk along the wet asphalt. The smell of rain is still thick in the air, mingling with oak and pine. Graffiti that once scattered along the alley walls, now blankets the better part of all the bricks. The double beep of my watch, tells me it’s 1am.

My mind reminisces on today’s events as I continue down the street. I glance at each item in my path ahead and take a deep breath of fresh rain air, relaxed. But there’s a subtle second sound of footsteps. Almost perfectly aligning with the speed of my own. I start to ask myself how long they had been there before I noticed them. The pound of my slowly rising heart rate rushes through my spine into my ears as I focus in on that slight second step other than my own. The alley was just wide enough for a single car to fit, meaning I could jump out and reach either wall.

‘Breathe’ is stuck on repeat, softly ringing in my thoughts. I try to assess how far back the steps are coming from, but the noticeable steps become far and few between. My fingers curl into a fist just before my feet come to a sudden halt. Silence, there was no stumble out of pattern from behind. With only a moment’s hesitation, I force myself to look. Cutting my eyes to the right before I slowly turn my head.

I felt no immediate danger when there was no dark and eerie figure following behind me. My relief is short lived, as I distinguish a different object where the perp would have been. A flat, wooden box set neatly behind me, just five or six feet. A haunting feeling manifests in the deepest pit of my stomach. The muscles in my shoulder blades tightened with adrenaline as I compel myself to turn my body, fully facing the box. My fingertips start to tingle with anticipation, like a klepto in the market. My interest has peaked.