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Doubting Debbie!!

Here is one of the letters written in to "Dear Barb."

You can find more letters like this in my books "Dear Barb: Answers To Your Everyday Questions" and "Dear Barb 2: Advice for Daily Life" and both books are free to download on Smashwords.com.

DOUBTING DEBBIE

Dear Barb:

I’ve been involved with a woman for the past six months. We are both divorced and in our mid-thirties. We connected and got along fantastically at the beginning. I thought everything was going well until a few months ago when she seemed to become insecure and had doubts about whether our relationship could work.

It seems no matter how much I try to reassure her that everything is fine, she continues to have doubts. We have already broken up once but were able to reconcile. I love this woman very much, but I don’t know how to handle her constant doubts. I don’t want to end this relationship, but I’m not sure how to make things better. Hope you can help. – Ken

Hi Ken:

Thanks for writing. You have a challenging situation, but because you are hanging in there, I’m sure this can be worked out.

First, do you know anything about your girlfriend’s past? Has she had some difficult relationships, maybe some betrayals that could be triggering these insecurities and doubts? You said you are both divorced. Do you know the details of her previous marriage? Perhaps her parents or other family members are divorced, thus causing her to lose faith in the longevity of relationships. You indicated that these insecurities have only arisen in the last few months. Perhaps as the relationship is becoming more serious, she is growing fearful that something may happen to cause it to end.

Many events can prompt insecurities in relationships. As well, something in your behavior could be triggering her doubts without you even realizing it. You mentioned that you are reassuring her, but her misgivings continue. Have you sat down together to discuss the nature of her doubts? Does she have fears about your ability to be loyal and faithful to her? You must discover the basis of the doubts in order to discuss and resolve them.

This task may be more than the two of you can handle. Since you love this woman and want this relationship to succeed, I would suggest you both see a professional counselor.

Many couples seek counseling before entering marriage, as it is better to find out early if you can resolve problems, before moving into a more permanent living arrangement or a marriage.

Good luck, Ken. I hope I was helpful.

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Can I Come HOME Now?

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Dear Barb: Answers to Your Everyday Questions

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Seasons of the Heart

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Can I Come HOME Now?

Can I Come HOME Now?: A True Story of Childhood Trauma eBook : Godin, Barbara: Amazon.ca: Kindle Store

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Answers to your everyday questions about love & marriage, loss & grief, betrayal, family relationships, etiquette and more!!

[writermemoir]

Doubting Debbie!!

Here is one of the letters written in to "Dear Barb."

You can find more letters like this in my books "Dear Barb: Answers To Your Everyday Questions" and "Dear Barb 2: Advice for Daily Life" and both books are free to download on Smashwords.com.

DOUBTING DEBBIE

Dear Barb:

I’ve been involved with a woman for the past six months. We are both divorced and in our mid-thirties. We connected and got along fantastically at the beginning. I thought everything was going well until a few months ago when she seemed to become insecure and had doubts about whether our relationship could work.

It seems no matter how much I try to reassure her that everything is fine, she continues to have doubts. We have already broken up once but were able to reconcile. I love this woman very much, but I don’t know how to handle her constant doubts. I don’t want to end this relationship, but I’m not sure how to make things better. Hope you can help. – Ken

Hi Ken:

Thanks for writing. You have a challenging situation, but because you are hanging in there, I’m sure this can be worked out.

First, do you know anything about your girlfriend’s past? Has she had some difficult relationships, maybe some betrayals that could be triggering these insecurities and doubts? You said you are both divorced. Do you know the details of her previous marriage? Perhaps her parents or other family members are divorced, thus causing her to lose faith in the longevity of relationships. You indicated that these insecurities have only arisen in the last few months. Perhaps as the relationship is becoming more serious, she is growing fearful that something may happen to cause it to end.

Many events can prompt insecurities in relationships. As well, something in your behavior could be triggering her doubts without you even realizing it. You mentioned that you are reassuring her, but her misgivings continue. Have you sat down together to discuss the nature of her doubts? Does she have fears about your ability to be loyal and faithful to her? You must discover the basis of the doubts in order to discuss and resolve them.

This task may be more than the two of you can handle. Since you love this woman and want this relationship to succeed, I would suggest you both see a professional counselor.

Many couples seek counseling before entering marriage, as it is better to find out early if you can resolve problems, before moving into a more permanent living arrangement or a marriage.

Good luck, Ken. I hope I was helpful.

[writermemoir]

Answers to your everyday questions about love & marriage, loss & grief, betrayal, family relationships, etiquette and more!!

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Bothering the beast