writewhathasnotbeenwritten

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

when i was younger, i used to play a game called "the queen of everything". i guess i liked the idea of having power. i loved running around, giving orders to my sister and parents.

when i brought this game up to my cousin, she didn't like it. she decided that we would be a dual monarchy. i became the empress of the moon. she didn't mind; no, she was the queen of the sun. who wouldn't want to be the thing everything revolved around?

what she didn't understand was that while we appreciate the sun, daytime is so bright, so loud. the silence of the moon has a certain beauty.

i was a child of the moon. it was light when i was afraid of the dark. i used to wait until everyone was asleep so i could sneak out and speak to the stars.

years later, i became interested in space. i started learning the science behind it. now, you can barely talk to me without space being brought up.

i learned that we are 90% stardust. most of the elements in the human body were created by stars. i thought this explained why space interested me, but then, why wouldn't it interest everybody?

i thought back to that game. i could have picked silver and gold, winter and summer, anything equal in power, but i chose the moon.

i am a night owl. i am always more productive when everyone else is sleeping. i beg my friends to stargaze, so they can also see the beauty of it. the dictionary defines what i am as an astrophile. i am still a child of the moon, of the cosmos, of stars. moon dust has settled in my lungs, and i encourage others to look at the skies.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

what i miss about her:

her laugh

the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles

her eyes

i hadn't even thought about how much i missed her until i saw her today. losing your best friend has a unique pain.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

this account is mostly deep shit but...

my mom said she would support me and my sister if we were gay. she looked at me and whispered "i know you aren't, though". she thinks my sister might be gay, but i'm not. she's in for a rude awakening.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

i have been a shell of myself lately.

scratch that. not lately. i haven't known myself for years.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

i learned a word today; zenosyne- the sense that time appears to be moving faster.

it was not exactly the word i was looking for. i don't think a word has been created for this feeling. i want time to move faster, yet i want it to slow down.

i want to keep following the same schedule (lather, rinse, repeat). it gives me a sense of comfort. it's been two years now, and we're finally getting back to normal.

at the same time, i want to do something spontaneous and unexpected. i want to experience everything the world has to offer.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

Avenoir n. the desire that memory could flow backward

do you ever have those days? the kind of days that make you so incredibly happy that you wish it would stay that way forever? for me, today was one of those days. if i could create a time loop, i think today would be where i'd stay.

the schools in our county decided that everyone could go to the fair today without being counted absent. we stayed for about 3 hours, but it was the happiest i've felt in a while. the sun was bright, everything was loud, and the food was delicious. the company was the best part.

have you ever noticed how good sunburn looks on some people? how good it looks along with the freckles on her nose and face paint of butterflies on her cheek? because i haven't. not until today.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

Absquatulate v. to leave without saying goodbye

sometimes i wish i was brave enough to absquatulate

i am happy where i am; there is no need to leave

imagine packing a bag, and just leaving. imagine the possibilities

i can't leave everyone and everything behind. think of those who need me. think of those who can't come with me

anywhere in the world. dream it, and it can happen

think of those i could not would not take

~c.k

i know that isn't poetry. it's more of an... internal dialogue.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury

ik i'm spamming, but i love this quote.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

“It's always too late for sorries, but I appreciate the sentiment.” ― Neil Gaiman

i'm sick of it.

of meaningless apologies and ruined nights;

the apologies are worse than the actual fights.

c.k

maybe if they didn't happen as often, apologies would actually mean something.

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

logophile n. a lover of words

as in, "i'm a complete logophile. i love learning new words."

as in, "what if i put my words out there? what if i let them free?"

as in, "here it is. my unfolding, for anyone to see."

today was terrible. i found a dead bird, saw someone staring at me that shouldn't be, and got yelled at by my dad. i think i'm going to start putting my writing on here. if i don't keep up, i'll get rusty

[writewhathasnotbeenwritten]

The Tilt Shift n. a phenomenon in which your lived experience seems oddly inconsequential once you put it down on paper, which turns an epic tragicomedy into a sequence of figures on a model train set, assembled in their tiny classrooms and workplaces, wandering along their own cautious and well-trodden paths—peaceable, generic and out of focus.

i'm kind of scared to start this. i like the idea of my story being out there, but i'm going to keep this anonymous. i'm hoping to help some people or provide entertainment while also being able to get things off my chest. and yes, i stole this from turtles all the way down