x-wond3r0us-x-blog - Tumblr blog

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dude god could come down from heaven with a million angels and tell me that gif is pronounced “jif” and i still wouldn’t fucking do it

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“you’re really pretty” *punk’d cameras come out*

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Friendly reminder

If you're a parent, for the love of God don't be going through your kids shit. Let them have their privacy. I don't give a fuck if they're "under your roof", they're human beings, and they deserve respect. Going through their things is disrespectful, and if you do it you can't demand respect from them. Respect is earned, not given. It doesnt matter if you're they're parent. Also, demanding that your children have no privacy will lead them to hide things. If you just let them know they can come to you with anything (and not get in trouble for it) your children will be super open with you. Got it? Good.

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im a screamer..not sexually just life in general

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do you like money?

¥£$

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Using hot sauce as lube

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Teacher: *gives 25 minute speech about wasting time*  

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*comes across a slight inconvenience* me: you know what would solve this ????? death

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well at least you're surviving the apocalypse

i’m the nokia phone in a room full of iphones

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I wonder if I’ve ever drank milk that’s come from a cow I’ve eaten

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make this known in schools, people need to know about her

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Me: *minding my own business*

Will.i.am: hit it Fergie!

Me: ALL THE TIME I TURN AROUND BROTHER'S GATHER ROUND ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME UP AND DOWN LOOKING AT MY (UH) I JUST WANNA SAY IT NOW - I AINT TRYING TO ROUND UP DRAMA LITTLE MAMA I DONT WANNA TAKE YOUR MAN AND I KNOW IM COMING OFF JUST A LITTLE BIT CONCEITED AND I KEEP ON REPEATING HOW THE BOYS WANNA EAT IT BUT IM TRYIN TO TELL THAT I CANT BE TREATED LIKE CLIENTELE CUZ THEY SAY SHES DELICIOUS

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Somewhere out there is a girl whose heart was broken by Rick Astley long ago, and it breaks again with bitter irony during every Rickroll.

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sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments 

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me: hey friend: *after two minutes of not replying* hey whats up me: *washing the gasoline off myself* not much hbu

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*makes up for ugly face with semi-okay personality*