x4ver1a - Tumblr blog

[x4ver1a]

i would deadass sell my thirst pics for money rn i need more clothes

[x4ver1a]

[x4ver1a]

John Yuyi: 浮世給ukivoe 201607 Tokyo (2016)

[x4ver1a]

[x4ver1a]

[x4ver1a]

[x4ver1a]

everything just needs to stop for a while. EVERYTHING. i can’t deal rn. tooooo much

[x4ver1a]

[x4ver1a]

self control ?? sorry ??? what ????

[x4ver1a]

yes i will irrationally cry

[x4ver1a]

[x4ver1a]

[x4ver1a]

I don't get it. I'm so scared to be alone. Why am I abandoned all over again. He left because he lost feelings from my arguments and how I am hard to deal with. I'm just heartbroken, like my heart aches, I'm crying so much and I relapsed because of him.

The worst part is I wanted to be better for him, I seriously wanted to start my recovery journey again FOR HIM. Our last argument was the entire reason why I rethought my entire progress. Now I just lost my reason to recover. I lost it, and it's partially my fault. He said it was also his fault because he hasn't healed from his last relationship and he jumped on to me. Like what the hell. He could have said no but he told me he was pressured by the other band members to be with me. He could have said no, but the worst part is before we officially got together he acted like my bf, kissing me in public, paying for me, holding my hand, touching me etc. and then he actually got together with me then he said he lost feelings over my temper arguments etc.

The WORST WORST part is how I warned him before getting with me, I WARNED him. I told him I'm not easy, I will lose my shit over small things, I self-harm, I have a shit temper, but I'm trying. And he WILLINGLY signed up for this. And now he's leaving when it got hard. I'm not okay at all. I'm seriously not okay.

I'm refusing to break up with him until i can process everything at my own pace because I will most likely split on him. He went from "it's my fault, it's my problem, it's not you, it's me" to "It's partially your fault, I lost feelings for you."

I'm not okay at all.

[x4ver1a]

Yall i don't know if i can accept the fact that he broke up with me. Im in denial, im refusing to say yes to the breakup im so obsessed with him it's not funny

[x4ver1a]

i want him back why did he leave me

[x4ver1a]

hes breaking up w me hahahahhaha im so normal

[x4ver1a]

hehhee bfs jacket smells so good like him hehehehhegegege