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xaviers-whisper · 4 months ago

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last dance | lumiere

LI: Xavier WC: 1.4k Genre: Angst Summary: A little drabble based off of the lyrics to Last Dance by OneOkRock where MC and Lumiere have one last battle together. A/N: damn,,, hows that for a first post... heyyy... how yall doin...

It started out like any other story. It made sense that his name meant light, because in every sense of the word, he was the light of your life. He made you smile and laugh, he would surprise you with little gifts and would never hesitate to drop whatever he was doing to help you. He'd mumble sweet nothings in your ear when he held you close and fell asleep with you in his arms, never caring that he'd wake up with his bottom arm numb from holding you all night. He was perfect. He was light. Well, when he was around, that was.

When you thought about what had brought the two of you together, it was hunting. The rush of adrenaline when you'd protect him and then moments later, he'd be right in front of you doing the same. The way your heart pounded out of your chest from the running and dodging, the hiding and attacking. For the longest time, your favorite part about hunting with him was getting to see the way his eyes lit up afterwards, how the blue shone like both the sea and sky. Like they were endless, like his love for you.

Still, you know what they say. Industry is a cruel, cruel mistress. You'd taken a step back from hunting with Lumiere - he just kept getting riskier and riskier. You were one for taking risks, that was for sure, but what he was doing was bordering on rule-breaking. To you, risks were letting a bullet sail when you were less than 100% sure you'd hit the target. Risks to him were... well...

It wasn't a surprise when you saw him less and less, hearing from him becoming an even rarer event. You worried about him, of course you did. How could you not? You loved him. Loved... love? You really weren't sure anymore. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. At some point along the way, you had accepted the worst. You grieved his loss, naturally, but eventually, you had to move on and rebuild your life, with or without him. That didn't stop the rumor mill, though. For some reason, it was easier to accept this fate that he was actually gone forever, rather than the word everyone else whispered - Tenebra.

So, when you found yourself face to face with him on the battlefield nearly eight months later, you weren't sure what to feel. There was a part of you that knew that he wouldn't do anything stupid enough to get him actually killed. Yet, that same part of you almost yearned for that to have been the case. He might as well have been as good as dead now that the rumors were true.

When the both of you had a moment to catch your breaths, you couldn't even bring yourself to look at him. You refused to let yourself dive into those god damned blue eyes that once held all the love for you in their reflections.

"You're alive." was all you could manage to say to him as you steadied your breathing.

"'course I am." he said back, his own breath still a little staggered from the previous fight. Even now, he managed to retain that little lilt of teasing. The fact he did hurt worse than if he didn't, honestly. Because that meant your Lumiere was never really gone. But it also meant he would never be yours again. Still, something had changed in him.

"Why are you here?" you asked him, your heart aching in preparation for his answer. Whatever it was, it was going to shatter you.

"Duty calls, you know that as well as I do." Everything he said felt so emotionless now.

You scoffed softly. "Right, duty." How naive were you to think he was here for you? "So, um... how've you been?" you couldn't really believe you were trying to make small talk with the man who had once been your rock, your home, your world. The man who had seen you at your lowest and picked you back up every time. The man who was the first to celebrate even the smallest of victories.

"Good, good. You haven't changed much." he replied back, the tension in the air palpable. It was never this awkward before.

You nodded in acknowledgment to his statement; what were you supposed to say to that? Thank you? No. You had to cut the shit.

"What are we doing? And, not..." you sighed, "Not us. Just... in general?" Existentialism was never your favorite topic, but you felt like it had a home in this space... god knows you no longer did.

"I don't know, (Y/N). I don't know a lot of things anymore. Sometimes it feels like we're chasing someone else's dreams. Like this is all we have." his voice was low and pensive, you'd only ever heard it like that a few times before - after intense arguments about how he wasn't around much... right before he disappeared entirely.

"Right." You said again. That answers that, huh? "Did you-" You bit your lip to keep the tears in. Now was not the time to be crying. You were done with that. You'd shed all the tears you had for him months ago.

Before you could finish, he interrupted you with a proposition. "Come with me." Those three words said nothing and everything at the very same time. They confirmed your worst fears, they soothed the ache in your soul. They begged you to start over with him, they reminded you that you had gone eight months without him. All that, in three little words.

You didn't need much time to think. You shook your head, letting your bottom lip release from the hold between your teeth. "I can't."

His hands wrapped around yours in an instant, he was just as warm as he always was. "Why not?" It was his turn for his voice to come out barely above a whisper, as if saying it any louder would make whatever you said hurt more.

"Lumiere, I can't. For a lot of reasons. I just... I'm having a really hard time believing you care about me enough for me to do that. Frankly, I'm having an even harder time believing you ever did." How you managed to get those words out without bursting into tears and heaving sobs was a mystery to you, though not one you were particularly interested in solving any time soon.

He opened his mouth to speak, but before any words could leave his parted, pink lips, you were ambushed once more with another wave of Wanderers. You both sprung into action, it was a reflex at this point. Though, this time, through the smoke of gunshots and the swishes of his sword, you managed to look at him, even for a brief moment. His blue eyes being the same they always were, evoking warmth and safety in you in the moments where your life was on the line. Still, they felt so cold now, emotionless as he swung his sword with ease. Like the love was one-sided. Maybe it always had been.

It didn't take long to dissipate the Wanderers, you were both skilled beyond your years. This time, though, you did not stick around for post-fight pleasantries and small talk. You gave him one last look as you both caught your breaths once again, your mind made up. You turned on your heels, your boots crunching the dirt beneath your feet and you started walking. You weren't really sure where you were going, but as long as it was in the opposite direction as him, you would be fine.

He wasn't stupid, of course he took notice. But, he knew you. Sometimes, you wondered if he knew you better than you knew yourself. That said, he knew that if he were to run after you, it wouldn't end well for either of you. You could be reckless, just in different ways than he was. Ways that mattered. So he let you go. Just as you did him, he let you walk away, your figure getting smaller and blurrier before you disappeared entirely. Maybe, one day, he would see you again.

"Care for you? I always will." He whispered to no one in particular. That was enough for him.

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