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xxjayjay14xx-blog · 5 years

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Authenicity

Jadyn Thornock

Perspective is key when it comes to a real life story. Everything happens for a cause, good and bad; “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes fall apart so better things can fall together,” says so Marilyn Monroe herself.

Something is always more focused than something else around it, there is always going to be something or someone better, more different, more “perfect”, and so on, and something will always have more attention and stand out more. Looking at the photographs; you see things that are commonly put into our heads where they don’t belong. Makeup and a starfish don’t belong in a pile of snow. Then again, it makes a great photo, doesn’t it? I say this for a reason, we can relate topics like that to people, maybe people in stereotypes, maybe people in your community, or maybe people in general in the society.

To give an example; let’s talk about the society of teenagers. Okay, well they all are just stuck up, selfish, have terrible hormonal attitudes, annoying, dumb, disappointing, lazy, addicted to social media, picky, and whatever. They’re dangerous, yet they need more protection, they are immature, but they also are on their own. It’s tough standing out nowadays for teenagers and adolescents. We don’t know what to do or what to think, we don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong because people are always telling us different, and we could only stop to assume that nobody gives a damn either.

It may sound selfish, I’m only saying “we” as it may be seeming as the perspective and standpoint of me, but it’s teenagers in the generation. We were born into a world of hell. Pollution, sickness, judgment, bullying, war, disagreement, etc. We all point out the negativity; Donald Trump is building a wall, “don’t go outside you could get kidnapped,” “Haven’t you heard of the sex trafficking,” “it’s just a phase you aren’t gay, you aren’t emo, you aren’t this, you aren’t that,” every action, every movement, every thought, every decision, everything is wrong in our parents eyes, our teachers eyes, our elders eyes, everyone’s eyes. So how would we know what’s right for us, because now all we could think on ourselves is wrong. We can’t know what's right and wrong if everyone is speaking their own opinions on us.

We’re unique, and confused. Everything tends to seem like it’s as simple as black and white, but behind the two basic tints is imagery of different stories and reasons behind every little thing we do, say, think, and decide. You wonder why these stupid teenagers are hating everyone and starting rumors, doing drugs and breaking the law, when simultaneously some are looking beautiful and getting straight A’s and getting scholarships. Comparison is all it’s about when it comes to humanity.

We leave people behind, bring new people in, later on we leave them too. That’s what happened when a little thing called “change” decided to show up. It’s something that’s hard to describe and explain, something hard to put into a sentence maybe even a book. It’s all up to your own individuality. What do you think change is? Is it something you choose, something you want, something you're scared of?

But, you know what we hate. We really hate when you call us dramatic, selfish, maybe immature because we don’t want to talk. We really hate when you say we’re overreacting, or we’re crazy because we are following these stupid dance trends or prank trends. We also hate when you say we’re just making stupid excuses to make bad decisions whenever we're in pain, or whenever we yell, or whenever we cry. But then again you don’t even notice that’s the reason we don’t cry, all you’ll ever do is assume is we are just another hormonal teenager. See, it’s not as easy as black and white is it.

It’s not as easy when high school is terrifying. Thinking we will never find someone true, no true friends, no true relationships, no true career. It’s all just, fake. Fights are broke out, rumors are spread, drugs are dealt, and grades are failing. It’s like you're in a complicated maze but there wasn’t even a start so you can’t believe it’ll even end. We have to follow our limitations and rules and expectations. Stay relevant, don’t miss out on anything. Be smart, listen to everything. If you don’t understand it, and if you don’t show your work. You’re stupid, you’re gonna fail.

We’re afraid of everything around us. Simple things like going outside, like talking to our parents about school, or like asking a teacher for help. It’s so popular for a girl to have a rape story, we go into Walmart, and we walk into a wall of young children’s pictured being hung up as missing. Years later half of them are dead or still gone. Yearly we hear about these school shootings with a number of casualties, and every September we think about 9/11, we can’t even go a day without thinking or even joking about crimes, drugs, suicides, self harm, anything that’s an actual issue in the real life world, and small things like conspiracies of Bush setting up the 9/11 has the entire nation wondering if we can even trust our own government.

Maybe I’m just being stupid with wasting my time on writing this paper. I mean, what’s the point of it. How will it affect anything, or anyone. I mean, I’ve already put so much time into it, but who’s going to look at it. Every word and every letter doesn’t mean anything, it’ll all be forgotten by the time Summer rolls around. I’m not even going to think about it. I’ll just be running around with my friends making memories at the park and not listening to anything my parents say.

It’s just so stressful, all this seems so small, but we can’t find a way to resolve it. We can’t take out our feelings of sadness or stress or anger without being called crazy or being threatened.

“Nobody wants death cause nobody wants life to end, am I the only stressed and the only of tired of having fake friends.” -Xxxtentacion

We all have addictions, something that helps us keep our mind off of reality and harsh humanity. We’re addicted to the idea of feeling okay, and addicted to ignorance, and we’re obsessed with our imagination. We stick with ones who hurt us because we are gripped onto the idea that when they lie, or manipulate us that they mean what they say. They do care, and they do love you, because they said they do. They treat you badly sometimes, just because they “love” you. They know for the fact that once they earn your trust you’re weak. Making you feel like you're doing something wrong constantly. And if you don’t believe them, they play pity so you feel pressured you just need to trust them. Then realizing, you're dumb for falling for their white lies and hidden truths. .

What are you afraid of anyways? Love? Thinking you're wasting your time? Trust? Commitment? Don’t be so paranoid. Unless; you're afraid you're not being conscious enough.

I don’t have much to say about it. Nothing to say that would help, but I want everyone to focus more on themselves. Making sure that they’re happiness can change everyone around them positively, but not letting others change your smile, although they make it easy. Stay strong. Be confident. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes, think about yourself other than what others think about you.

So with the photography at the top again. They don’t fit with the snow, but it makes art, and something beautiful. Something that people love and want. And with people; some of us really don’t seem like we fit in, we just stand out and feel awkward. But, we’re all human, and we are all beautiful. People want us, people love us, people care, and people are always going to be here for us. Friends, classmates, school, and most importantly, our family.

Extras- : )

“When it comes to drugs, pill-pushers and takers, we are a country virtually out of control. If you're feeling depressed, to get relief, take a pill. Most of us are addicts.”

“Some girls get all done up, lose their face to repair. They attend every party but it takes them nowhere.”

“Real World” Topics/Problems-

Loss and Grief- It’s hard hearing when someone has passed. Even if they aren’t as close as family or friends. Hearing about someone's young or old, someone you’ve met before, someone who’s a family friend. Knowing the fact that you’ll never speak to them ever again, or get to know them anymore than you do personally, sticks with you. And when they are close, it’s hard knowing that they are gone forever. Never holding their hand, hugging them, talking to them, etc. Knowing the fact that you had never thought you would have a final speaking goodbye. And knowing that you’re really scared you’ll never get over their loss, but also afraid you think you’ll never let them go.

Trust (Issues)- From young ages and growing on. We all have a wall of trust. Losing and gaining it day by day, and it’s something we do unintentionally. And our trust and feelings could be easily triggered, especially when you have one person whom you look up to towards and for every situation. You feel they are there for you, and you’re here for them. Telling all your secrets and feelings and thoughts and jokes, and they do the same for you, but when days comes. They go to seeing and talking to you every day, to every other day, to every week, to just drifting. So you wonder who else is going to just walk away that easily without a care? All to say is for all days in your life you're going to have someone, and that someone is you. You can trust you, and you can be here for you.

Conclusion :: I understand. You take in every negative, it’s easier than taking in positive things. You feel like nobody cares, you feel no hope, no use, you want to give up. You feel like you're just on autopilot. Like you're here but you're not. You see yourself, you hear yourself, but you don’t feel in control. And you feel like nobody is going to reach out unless they feel like they have to. Like nobody cares unless they think it’s a life or death situation. You want to reach out to someone or anybody, but you're scared of judgment and the misassumings that you just need to be put into therapy or put on pills. Which makes you feel special but not in a good way, and if someone does reach out. You don’t know if you can believe you can trust them with your personal issues and problems, because you don’t want to put weight on their shoulders, and you know for a fact even if you tell them one situation that bothers you; it’s not like they can fix it. They’ll say something and give you pity and empathy. But it won’t resolve the issue. Which is why you got to be who you need to have, you look for people to help you but maybe you just need to help yourself. You’re looking far out for someone when you’re standing right there and you always have.

You don’t need drugs, you don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend, you don’t need money, or food. You just need to relax and think. Be there for yourself. Take a day off and sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day. Get everything off your chest. Call someone, write, do your makeup, go out, do your hair, go on a walk, learn something interesting, dance, sing, cook, play video games, whatever helps you. But don’t hurt yourself cause that won’t help anything.

Teenagers are insecure, hating their appearance and looks but how would it make you look better when you’re cutting up your skin. Especially when you were already born so beautiful. You will just be making scars to actually be insecure about. And there isn’t anything you can do to just make yourself what you want to be. Desperate for beauty, and for small things like freckles, and dimples, and straight teeth, and a big butt, and to look “thick” like the Instagram models and the famous Kardashians. All you need is to know the fact that you’re worth something to someone. Even if it’s just one person, and you are 100% worth something to yourself. All your life you’re going to have yourself from birth to death. And you may not want that, so before loving people you have to tend to love for who you are. We all have our flaws, and we all have something that stands out, but self-love and esteem is what I would say is something majorly important. Taking care of yourself is something that should come before anything ahead of you. It may seem selfish at some points, but it’s something that needs to be taken into hand for everyone in this world.

Everything happens for a reason, we all do stuff for a reason. That doesn’t make it an excuse to make bad choices, I’m mainly saying that this entire nation needs to get everything together. We need people to talk to, and we need to start thinking about others and ourselves. We’re raising children on social media, and teenagers are living on four different lives; social/online, home, school, and personal. Maybe even two different homes or maybe just none at all, at young ages we get overwhelmed of having to have so many personalities in public and at home in order just to satisfy the people around us and it mixes up who we are and what are “true colors” are. Showing off our trendy clothes and devices, being funny by making stupid jokes that could either amuse people or upset them. We don’t know what to do, when we make people angry we try to make jokes or laugh it off hoping they don’t stay mad at you forever, because when one person gets mad all our attention focuses on them. We either ignore them, or we threaten them, or we just look down at our own selves and think about how “bad” of a person we are because we may have just ruined their mood and day. We either watch the fire burn until it eventually simmers down, add more gasoline to it, or we just keep adding matches and do nothing while it stays lit for an infinite amount of time. By the way, that’s a metaphor, just think about it. Some people get “triggered” over small things, getting disgusted that there’s a hair on our food, so we won’t eat it. Our shirt is wrinkled, so we have to rewash it. McDonalds took forever to get my food, so I refuse to pay for it and so on. Alternatively, there’s quiet people we don’t even notice. They don’t care about food or clothes or how nicely their handwriting is on their homework. They don’t say anything, they don’t bring up their opinion on everything.

That’s what makes people unique, we all have our own background past, we have our own goals and future, our own family, our own friends, our own looks, our own style, and passions, our own thoughts and opinions, our own story and our own views and perspectives. That what makes humanity amazing.

We’ve grown to accept things our nation wouldn’t even accept one hundred years ago. From laws and clothing, to sexuality and race. That’s how drastically our generations have grown and changed. And like people, our generations have personalities too. We have to grow more of self-expression. Time isn’t a pattern, there’s something new every day, like intelligence, jobs, people, friends. Traditions go on from group to group, but we always tend to mix things up sometimes. Acceptance is not a requirement, it’s something that’s encouraged for a better future and a better you. Along with confidence and self-control, and personal management. You are amazing, along with everyone else around you. Everyone has their own religion and opinions. Let them, don’t make them feel bad for disagreeing with something that you might like. Even if it’s just a sport, or even as major as gay marriage. You aren’t worthless, and you aren’t dumb. Just focus on yourself. Be selfish sometimes, live a little, and try to love a little; including yourself.

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