yeahallwrite-blog - Tumblr blog

[yeahallwrite-blog]

TWO

Today I forgot to apply mascara. I didn’t realise until I was 56 minutes up the highway, either, and last time I checked BP didn’t stock a lot of L'Oreal. What a way to launch yourself at life again - with naked eyes. You go girl. Killing it.

From this desperate low point, I rebuilt. Yep, I climbed my way up out of that gloomy hole of non-mascaraness and just moved right on. This happened as I had a teddy bear’s picnic with a three year old. You forget how simple life can be until you’re pretending to sip fake tea from a mouse-sized teacup.

Like most Saturdays, I visited a mega shopping centre. Not once. Twice. I went to Myers twice. This happens far more often than I’m comfortable admitting. I’m a sucker for the white interior, and the smell of the perfumes I would probably need a loan to acquire, and the way the ladies behind the counters are so kind to me even though I’m sometimes a bit of a bitch when I’m shopping because you take it VERY seriously. Flippant shopping usually ends in regret and I’m trying to avoid that nasty bugger for a while.

I was also lucky enough to make my weekly voyage to Kmart. You have to go there on the regular, otherwise you might miss a new bathroom candle or a fresh as faux marble kitchen cutting board. FOMO at it’s greatest, that’s what Kmart gives me. That, and an assortment of stuff I will love for six months and then dispose of when I replace with with new stuff. From Kmart.

Today my Kmart haul was focussed - I love a good, centred shop almost more than I love breakfast (not brunch, just breakfast). On this occassion, I needed travel minis. Yeah yeah, I know- they’re often a rip because you could just by normal sized stuff and decant. But there’s something about mini shampoo bottles that really speaks to me. I needed all of this fabulous stuff because I have booked a trip. Yahuh. I just walked into a travel agent and booked it, 91% deviod of anxiety. For me, that is a big step in the right direction. The travel minis were the least I could do to congratulate myself on my own little win.

Today is also the supposed-to-be anniversary of my old relationship that ended six days ago. Bitter pill to swallow, but I gulped heaps and heaps of water and it seemed to work. I struggled when the random Gilmore Girls ep I selected on Netflix mentioned Rory and Dean’s upcoming anniversary. They were SUCH a crappy couple. We were SO much better than them. How dare they get their anniversary? It did however make me feel a little better to consider that they have a HEAP of shit comin’ their way. Roll on in to town, Jesse. Roll on in.

So that’s where I’m at. No tears, which is probably a bit of a wasted opportunity because today of all days I could have cried without black marks running down my cheeks #nomascara #noproblems. But nonetheless, that’s a small win. And small wins are alright.

[yeahallwrite-blog]

TWO

Today I forgot to apply mascara. I didn't realise until I was 56 minutes up the highway, either, and last time I checked BP didn't stock a lot of L'Oreal. What a way to launch yourself at life again - with naked eyes. You go girl. Killing it. From this desperate low point, I rebuilt. Yep, I climbed my way up out of that gloomy hole of non-mascaraness and just moved right on. This happened as I had a teddy bear's picnic with a three year old. You forget how simple life can be until you're pretending to sip fake tea from a mouse-sized teacup. Like most Saturdays, I visited a mega shopping centre. Not once. Twice. I went to Myers twice. This happens far more often than I'm comfortable admitting. I'm a sucker for the white interior, and the smell of the perfumes I would probably need a loan to acquire, and the way the ladies behind the counters are so kind to me even though I'm sometimes a bit of a bitch when I'm shopping because you take it VERY seriously. Flippant shopping usually ends in regret and I'm trying to avoid that nasty bugger for a while. I was also lucky enough to make my weekly voyage to Kmart. You have to go there on the regular, otherwise you might miss a new bathroom candle or a fresh as faux marble kitchen cutting board. FOMO at it's greatest, that's what Kmart gives me. That, and an assortment of stuff I will love for six months and then dispose of when I replace with with new stuff. From Kmart. Today my Kmart haul was focussed - I love a good, centred shop almost more than I love breakfast (not brunch, just breakfast). On this occassion, I needed travel minis. Yeah yeah, I know- they're often a rip because you could just by normal sized stuff and decant. But there's something about mini shampoo bottles that really speaks to me. I needed all of this fabulous stuff because I have booked a trip. Yahuh. I just walked into a travel agent and booked it, 91% deviod of anxiety. For me, that is a big step in the right direction. The travel minis were the least I could do to congratulate myself on my own little win. Today is also the supposed-to-be anniversary of my old relationship that ended six days ago. Bitter pill to swallow, but I gulped heaps and heaps of water and it seemed to work. I struggled when the random Gilmore Girls ep I selected on Netflix mentioned Rory and Dean's upcoming anniversary. They were SUCH a crappy couple. We were SO much better than them. How dare they get their anniversary? It did however make me feel a little better to consider that they have a HEAP of shit comin' their way. Roll on in to town, Jesse. Roll on in. So that's where I'm at. No tears, which is probably a bit of a wasted opportunity because today of all days I could have cried without black marks running down my cheeks #nomascara #noproblems. But nonetheless, that's a small win. And small wins are alright.

[yeahallwrite-blog]

ONE

Some people say starting a blog is an admission of an existential crisis. When it comes to me, they are SO right. Ok, so I'm not exactly huddled up in the corner of a dark room, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth while listening to Nora Jones as my cat nibbles at my toes. I'm not lost and I don't need to find myself. I've known me for 22 years and I've never really changed all too much. I do, however, have a cat. It's more about finding where I fit in the world. I need to figure out where my little jigsaw piece sits in the big picture (fingers crossed for a corner piece, guys!!!!). And doing that requires a bit of searching. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go looking. Sunglasses up, blinkers off, foot off the break. Just cruising. Perfect time to do it, too. I'd love to tell you this personal evolution is by choice. I'd love to pretend I'm self-reflective and naturally carefree. Love to. But I'm not. I'm a full time control freak, full time caffeine addict who ALWAYS checks her emails Sunday night so she has a jump start on Monday morning. I'm the type to check I've unplugged my hair straightener from the wall seven million times before I leave the house. If it sounds like hard work, it is. I get SO tired. But it's circumstances that have brought me to this point. I'm leaving my first full time job. I quit my masters degree. My boyfriend and I broke up six days before our anniversary and four weeks before an overseas trip (all booked and paid for, too). It's been a super swell time. I have cried a LOT. I cut my hair. I bought new clothes. I changed my bedroom around. I started yoga. I have committed to art class. I even downloaded Zoe Foster Blake's 'Break-Up Boss' app (10/10 recommend, by the way. I probably would've downloaded it just for the heck of it, even if I hadn't had a relationship breakdown, to be honest. Love her. Not even sponsored!!!!!!). I have done the lot. But it hasn't fixed the fact that I still do not know where I'm bloody going. So I'm going to stop trying to follow the prescribed path. I'm attempting to relinquish the need to do what I believe others expect me to do. Shirking the expectations. Shedding the layers. Peeling the onion. You get my drift. So here goes. I'm going to see where life takes me when I stop swimming my very best freestyle against the tide. I may get stranded. I may be forced to flail my arms around, begging for a lifesaver. But maybe, just maybe, he'll be a cute one. All problems solved. KIDDING!!!! Personally, I'm hoping to work it out solo. And who knows? Maybe I'll find that it turns out alright.