halfbaked00q

[halfbaked00q]

rereading fics (of course) and in a 2014 era fic came across a casual mention of signing the official secrets act [sic]. suddenly had like a blast to the past lmao. man. do yall remember that era? Superwholock and whatnot. But I think it was probably BBC Sherlock? that woulda more popularized like, the rise & prevalence of Brit-pickers and also specific quirky things that ppl loved to throw in/throw around, such as the signing of the Official Secrets Act (probably by Watson, maybe they tried to get Sherlock to do it but he refused maybe, though that doesn't change his legal boundedness to it)

but man.... signing of Official Secrets Acts out in the wild in a fic. I feel like that ratatouille guy when he ate that ratatouille

[halfbaked00q]

....I think what I really need to do is watch Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace back to back. double feature. see how zoomie that makes the brain worms go

[halfbaked00q]

okay I Won't Stop about this cuz seriously. Does Anyone Else see what I mean. or just me? about Casino Royale's pre-title sequence being that film noir hardboiled detective / femme fatale Standard

picture this- the hard-boiled detective enters his dark office. it is raining outside. he hangs up his coat and hat, turns on the light-

-suddenly, a smoky, seductive voice floats from behind him. he whirls around. to see our seductive femme fatale, somehow already there and lurking in the shadows of his office waiting for his return

(also god I JUST noticed the fuckin. louchey lounge he's got going on there. area man NOT beating the femme fatale allegations!!! to ME. plus that fuckin eyebrow waggle. Okay Morticia Addams, let's slow down now)

god I wish tumb would let me put two videos in a single post cuz this neeeds the audio...

but okay, the way the guy is like. Shame. And we barely got to know each other (okay yes we've pivoted to like, a noir-esque spy vs spy story BUT Bond is still the femme fatale spy here. the uhhh honestly probably Russian lmao Black Widow-esque figure).

and click. "I know where you keep your gun."

*slight but decided smirk* "Suppose that's something."

and then talking about Bond's first kill... "how did he die?" "not well" blah blah

but then. (and props to the actor). the way he like. almost leers out that "Made you feel it, did he." in the storied tradition of maybe it ain't that deep but I got shovels and I'm willing to dig! ooooh boyy. we are in full on sleazeball man perving on Black Widow-ass territory here

listen yes it's 2025 and perhaps suggesting "female-coding" of a male character is not/no longer? okay, and I'm not exactly doing that.

what I am doing instead is viewing it thru my (haha sickos) filthy little queer reading lens and going 🧐 Interesting 🤔. Weirdly suggestive.

I'm sure there are planty of literary traditions and theories and schools of criticism I can call upon to draw out slash invoke the sex-violence metaphor/complex.

cuz yes they're talking about violence (literally, killing), but also it's Quite Suggestive, Isn't It- removed from context, would you think they're discussing killing? or perhaps something... else? violence still, possibly, sure. but perhaps a more.... prurient sort of "violence"/"violation."

it does, to ME, draw out all sorts of comparisons/parallels to the *coyly* "be gentle. it's my first time" type of jokes

actually, now I wonder if anyone else has done an academic or academic-type paper about this, lmao, the ways in which Bond / specifically this Bond's treatment is Very Interestingly, similar or parallels the way female characters are "typically" treated.

and Does It Mean Something, or perhaps nothing, lol

[halfbaked00q]

my beautiful noir film femme fatale babe

[halfbaked00q]

remember when I did this lmao..... this is what they robbed us of

imagine him w some injuries artfully kissed along his face like they do for Bond movies-

this is what he looks like after he's been away for longer-than-expected and ofc couldn't get a haircut cuz. u kno. doing important shit slash running for his life. he can clean himself up and give himself a shave but arranging for a visit to the barber will take a couple days longer. but he's gonna see Q, that can't wait.

(i did in fact end up doing some quick phone edits to try to get The Vibe instead of leaving it all up to imagination lmao. but uhhh. well! hm!. I wish we had this for real, it does in fact Compel Me.... ...dont look at it too closely, it's meant to be Representative lmao,,,)

[halfbaked00q]

if they werent gonna injure him then they coulda at least covered him in *other ppls* blood.......... they coulda done THAT at least...................

thats the problem w like skyfall and spectre. he doesn't get beat up and grody enough. no cuts and injuries artfully strewn across his face like some kinda bladed angels kisses.

altho okay he DOES wear that sexy-ass black pinstripe suit leather gloves boot-lookin shoes. so theres that. o and also shoulder holster.

but his ass is NOT nearly beat up enough in those movies. *catcalling a la 'show some skin'* cut up his face !!!

[halfbaked00q]

thats the problem w like skyfall and spectre. he doesn't get beat up and grody enough. no cuts and injuries artfully strewn across his face like some kinda bladed angels kisses.

altho okay he DOES wear that sexy-ass black pinstripe suit leather gloves boot-lookin shoes. so theres that. o and also shoulder holster.

but his ass is NOT nearly beat up enough in those movies. *catcalling a la 'show some skin'* cut up his face !!!

[halfbaked00q]

i need him to get his ass beat up sooo badly. yes for MY personal sick pleasure

[halfbaked00q]

be the clown you want to see in the circus.

[halfbaked00q]

I am sighing loudly and trying to take deep calming breaths as I answer emails, answering questions that should already be answered by info already provided in the email chain. I want to call these people dumb bitches sooo so bad but I am being so good about it

Anyway consoling myself by imagining some 00q uno reversi, where Q is the one Loudly Complaining and in need of consoling pets cuddles and someone making sympathetic noises, as he complains about how stupid some of these people are and how are they not more anxious about this. seems the least anxious to ask questions people could so to be More anxious, like, have you no shame? no sense of. idk. pride, even?? like does it not make other people anxious/feel stupid to ask questions they think might be answered already, why are they not scanning the email chain to see if this was already answered. it's digital- you can ctrl+f for key words. And on top of that, this person was such a bitch to ME about "I asked you to review Carefully and Thoroughly I caught some typos-" okay well you also Didn't Follow Directions at all and wildly rewrote the last draft so I reverted it back and incorporated some of your new shit but like. I wanted you to okay the CONTENT before I wasted time on prettying up something which you might again largely (erroneously) discard?? Sure you did a lot of work whatever- I didn't ask you to do any of that, and also it was Not What We Needed so it's bad cuz it's useless to us.

also people need to stop emailing in asking for permission for things they already Know we advise against. I'm not gonna tell you yes you can do this thing- I will repeat to you that No we in fact advise against it. yes, still. 😩

[halfbaked00q]

the thing abt Jame Bond that I don't think ppl think abt enough/put enough credence in, is that he is in fact a deeply silly, silly little man.

"we're teachers on sabbatical, and we just won the lottery!" yeah yeah he said that to be cheeky and have an excuse to stay at the luxury hotel sure, whatever. you can't tell me he wasn't also chortling to himself about how cheeky and clever he is tho

like I genuinely believe if you went to him with a deeply silly unserious roleplay scenario, that he'd be all for it

I just find it hard to believe that Mr. "😏You want to do WHAT to me?" would NOT be into it if you were like lets do sexy rival spies roleplay. "Weeeell well Mr. Bond, looks like I have you in my grasp and I need to sexy-torture your Very Important Spy Secrets out of you, how long could you possibly hold out *waggles eyebrows*"

actually no he would NOT play the spy type, he would play the femme fatale in the detective/spy-femme fatale set up. you canNOT tell me he would not have a BLAST playing the femme fatale. Fleming backs me up on this, look at how he described that one kiss between Bond & Solitaire !!! he'd still be the one who has to be sexily "tortured"/seduced out of his ?? secrets though still

[halfbaked00q]

Jame Bond is like. hiiii *cat paw sticking up meme* quick quastion. do u mind if I devote my heart and soul to you? :3c? *without waiting for a response* 'kay great, thanks, byeee <3

[halfbaked00q]

mmm.... mens tits

[halfbaked00q]

I just noticed my darling baby boy (cat) sitting in his little loft bed about 5 inches away from the most delightful sunbeam, so I scooted it into the sunlight for him and he looked me with the biggest widest expression. I don’t think he knew that was an option. I think I just blew his whole little mind

[halfbaked00q]

I think it probably really grinds Mallory's gears that he just has to accept that whatever intel he shares with Q is going to be subsequently told to Bond, and vice versa.

Like. Even if these two yahoos are not romantically involved (yet), they gotta discuss stuff with their work husband! It just has to happen! If there is Important Confidential Intel to consider, they have to put their heads together and talk it over and come up with a plan! They gotta loop each other in!

And it's extremely valid that this probably annoys the piss out of Mallory because this is legitimately terrible OPSEC. But. They're gonna do it anyway!

And they will keep this stuff confidential! It's just that they're gonna keep it confidential...between the two of them. They're kinda operating on the assumption that 'this is extremely confidential, don't discuss this with anyone' means 'except for your work husband, of course!'

[halfbaked00q]

Footnotes:

Gumbus - an internet cat. an example of Gumbus Experiencing Emotions

anxiety-man doomspiralling due to turbulence

"Bond is an emotionless bastard" WRONG. emotions Georg literally feels All of the emotions. like Gumbus.

man literally doomspiraled cuz he hit some turbulence on a plane. *grumbling* whatchu talkin about feels no emotions..

[halfbaked00q]

..that random anon accusing me of home of phobia for something I apparently said about Whishaw never did come back to elaborate lmao. ah well! guess I better finally get around to deleting it while I'm looking at it lol