yeahanisa

[yeahanisa]

At least, you got the life that you always wanted

[yeahanisa]

You find your life, great

You find your peace, is all I ever hope for

[yeahanisa]

Kamu di kiri, aku di kanan

Terpisah hampir satu rentangan tangan

Yang sengaja kita sediakan

Agar si buntalan cinta bisa merasakan

Hangat dan indah bunga cinta kita bermekaran

Bersama dengan suara ngorokmu yang tak bisa ditahan

[yeahanisa]

I kiss the hand of this man

The hand who always be there

to catch me, to help me up

to wipe the tears off my eyes

I kiss the hand of this man

every night

[yeahanisa]

Dear, my husband

I’m asking you for a partnership,

then you give me a-life-time company

and a family

I may always ask you for any thing

but surely, you always give me everything

even when we have nothing

I have so many flaws

some times I cover it with a sweet sweet mask

and other times I just throwing fist all around

but here you are, says that

“you are perfect as you are”

We may not always good

but you always make it better

You can go fast alone, yet you still choose to

go further together

You are my happy place

Wherever you are, whatever life will take us to,

know that I always pray for your happiness.

Thank you, for marry me

[yeahanisa]

My Great Romance Story

For the past 7 years, I have acquainted, befriended, and loved a woman. For the record, In my life, I have never before, been close and in love to a woman, except my mom and my sister. But this one is different. It is not that same flavor of love you give to your parent or your siblings. It is not that same flavor of love you give to your activities or things you simply liked. It is not that love you give to your life. It is a mix of all the love I experienced and new feeling that I never get before. This is a new feeling of encouragement, motivation and hope.

As time goes, my love to her and her love to mine nurtured, as moments spent together piling up as an ore of memories. Those voices, those images, those touches are deeply engraved to my skin, my blood, my flesh and my bones, shaping of what I have become now. Her love flows from what was drops to rushing water, transforming from what was a windless tundra, to a lush forest full of feelings that enliven my heart. It happens in a series of time but when I looked back, it just feels like it was just yesterday I express my thought and feeling to her.

For all the journey we've been together as a lover, I cannot thank her enough. For the love and care she pour out to me, her faith and devotion to me, I feel like I never did enough to return what she has done to me. But one promise is: this year I will be marrying her, and I will make her life the best life she ever experienced.

And Ian, as I am talking to you, what I see in your eyes is the future, we will leap together to a new chapter of our lives, there will be ups and downs, happy and sad times, but I am sure about something, that there will be a bright destiny awaits us for more and more exciting life, side by side, everlasting.

[yeahanisa]

Emotional Breakdown

Minggu lalu bener-bener minggu yang sulit buat gue, banyak hal yang bikin overwhelm dan bahkan bikin gue jadi emotional breakdown.

Seorang gue? Emotional breakdown? Awalnya gue pun ngga percaya sama apa yang terjadi. I thought I was tough. Tapi ternyata yaaa engga juga.

Seminggu gue engga bisa tidur sama sekali, pun sekalinya tidur pasti sebentar abis itu kebangun dan ngga bisa tidur lagi. Kalo ditotal, gue cuma bisa tidur paling lama 3 jam dalam sehari. Sementara siangnya gue tetep kerja seperti biasa like nothing happend.

Dan setiap gue lagi sendirian, entah kenapa gue tiba-tiba aja jadi sedih, nangis, panik sama kesendirian gue. Abis itu gue bisa berubah jadi orang yang super nyebelin, demand afirmasi dan jawaban dari orang A.S.A.P. Kalo engga? Ya nangis lagi guenya.

Kacaulah.

Gue nangis sampe rasanya dada ini sakit, badan menggigil, dan pandangan blur.

Yes that was emotional breakdown.

Could it be any worse? Of course it could.

Emotional breakdown yang gue alami ternyata just a tip of iceberg. Deep down ternyata ada hal yang mengganggu dan menjadi issue tapi selama ini gue deny, karena gue merasa ini sangat-sangat kondisional.

Ternyata gue kena panic attack dari Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Kenapa gue bisa tau kalo gue mengidap GAD?

Jadi ketika gue merasa "anjirlah, ngga bisa gue begini terus. Masa gue ngga bisa ngontrol emosi sendiri" meanwhile all I could do is crying, gue otw reach for help. Gue langsung menghubungi Calista & Laras yang mungkin bisa relate sama problem yg gue alami.

Laras yg always checking up on me, dia nyaranin gue coba konsul (pake telemedisin dulu) ke psikolog, dan yaaa I did it. Ngga ada salahnya. Gue konsul ke 2 psikolog dengan catatan/hasil diagnosis yang sama. Kalo setelah konsul ngga ada perubahan selama sebulan, gue disarankan untuk konsul langsung (offline) biar bisa dapet rekomendasi utk ke psikiater (in case panic attack gue sangat mengganggu)

Belum ada sebulan, baru jarak 2 hari, gue udah ngalamin panic attack parah dan itu terjadi di ruang publik. I shamelessly crying my heart out. Sampe diliatin sama orang-orang. Ditenangin sama orang-orang juga. Setelah tenang, gue ngga pake ragu, otw gue ke psikolog buat dapet pertolongan. Yes, confirm, gue mengidap GAD.

Tapi, gue rasa gue belum "eligible" untuk menggunakan obat dari psikiater karena gue melakukan apa yg harusnya gue lakuin dari dulu: open up dan ngga denial sama apa yg gue alami, terutama ke orang-orang terdekat.

Mungkin agak terdengar menyusahkan cerita gue ini, tapi turns out orang-orang yang gue sayang dan sayang gue, mereka bisa ngerti dan satu per satu bantuin gue untuk sorting out all of the problem yg selama ini njelimet di kepala.

Apakah gue sembuh? Belum tentu. But I feel a fucking way better

[yeahanisa]

Have a great day!❤💪🏼

[yeahanisa]

Ma ternyata hidup berat banget Ma. Mama kok kuat sih? Kok Mama hebat sih bisa ngatasin semuanya? Ih aku aja dah keblinger loh ini...

Bisikinlah maaa gimana caranya. Pengen meledak ini dada rasanya. Hadeh.

Bisikin yaaa pokoknya! Beneran loh! Janji! Pokoknya aku tungguin yaa di mimpi!

[yeahanisa]

[yeahanisa]

You deserve to

[yeahanisa]

This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read!

[yeahanisa]

Listen up!

[yeahanisa]

Faith in humanity restored!!!

[yeahanisa]

Things that cats do!

[yeahanisa]

"I don't want daughters if they're not like that"

Dad of 4 Girls Tweets Hilarious Conversations With His Daughters

[yeahanisa]

listen people are starting to realize tumblr isn’t dead we all need to be as cringe as possible for the next few months, it’s vital to our survival