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[yesbiffwritesthings]

Truly Bizarre: the actual Patti Smith on a talk show for children, performs “You Light Up My Life” for some reason Very strange. BUT this is proof that Patti Smith can sing literally anything (even the sappiest of easy listening, garbage ballads) and have it sound exceptional.

[yesbiffwritesthings]

RIP Kim Shattuck Sad to hear about the passing of Muffs' vocalist and all-around punk badass Kim Shattuck. According to Brooklyn Vegan she had been battling ALS.

[yesbiffwritesthings]

The new song from Haim is pretty dope, yeah?

The new song from Haim is pretty dope, yeah?

I like Haim. They make music that’s palatable for pretty much everyone without being a bore, and that’s a talent. Their debut album, Days Are Gone (2013), is great: it’s all easy-going, carefree pop-rock hits from front to back. But I must admit, when they followed it up with 2017’s Something to Tell You, it kind of…

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The Pick Yr Boogies Revue, Pt. 1

The Pick Yr Boogies Revue, Pt. 1

I had planned to be doing album reviews all year long, but here we are in July and I haven’t done a one. So instead, here’s a quick-and-easy-to-digest, bite-sized review of basically everything I’ve deemed worthwhile so far this year.

Angelic Milk – Divine Biker Love

Angelic Milk greatly benefited from releasing their debut album, Divine Biker Love(love that title), at the beginning of the…

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Song Review: "Rich, White, Straight, Men" by Kesha

Song Review: “Rich, White, Straight, Men” by Kesha

It’s not the Pride anthem that we need. It’s not the Pride anthem that we deserve. I’m not even sure this is the Pride anthem that anyone really explicitly wanted (except maybe me). But it is the Pride anthem that most adequately captures the mood of Pride 2019. It’s pissed off and bleak and a bit messy, and I think that’s a…

[yesbiffwritesthings]

Song Review: "My Man" by Delacey

Song Review: “My Man” by Delacey

I’d like to start off by just addressing the elephant in the room: this is “Jolene”. This song is literally a line-by-line retread of Dolly Parton’s timeless classic “Jolene”, and I don’t think Delacey is really try to hide that in any way, but I can’t find anything on the internet where she or anyone else has stated that.…

[yesbiffwritesthings]

Basic Show Etiquette: Please Already Be Doing This

Basic Show Etiquette: Please Already Be Doing This

As a connoisseur of popular music, I make it a habit to go out and support the bands I’m excited about when they come to town (or a town within reasonable driving distance). So I’ve been to a lot of shows over the years. These are just a few (hopefully) common sense tips for maximizing enjoyment for yourself, those around you, and the performing acts.

1.) If you’re over 6’0″ please be aware…

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Unpopular Opinion: 20 Years Later, Jessica Simpson's "I Think I'm in Love With You" is Still a Ferocious Bop

Unpopular Opinion: 20 Years Later, Jessica Simpson’s “I Think I’m in Love With You” is Still a Ferocious Bop

Background

It’s 2019, and I feel like enough time has elapsed since Jessica Simpson famously uttered the words “is the chicken what I have? or is this fish? … I know it’s tuna, but it says… ‘chicken… by the sea’?” that we can start taking an objective look at her work as a performer.  

asking the hard-hitting questions

Objectively speaking, most of her songs are not very good,…

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“don’t get your hopes up too high”: An Exhaustively Curated 2018 Playlist

So, since time immemorial I have been putting together year-end playlists and for a long time they were pretty sloppy affairs overall.  Last year, I decided to make up some kind of formula for putting these playlists together.  Basically what it comes down to is, from every new album I listen to, released in the given year, I pick one song.  No repeating artists because that gets to be too much (although featured acts aren’t subject to this rule).  When deciding what releases are going to get my attention, aside from my own personal tastes (skews toward alt. rock and punk a lot of the time) and releases from longtime favorites (this year we saw releases from Metric, and Animal Collective, as well as a long-awaited A Perfect Circle album, and even a Spotify single from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs), I try to get give more of my time to queer artists (and this year there were TONS of queer acts releasing great music--Adult Mom, Laura Jane Grace & the Devouring Mothers, Janelle Monae, Snail Mail, SOPHIE, etc. etc. etc. hallelujah).  I also try to make an effort broaden my musical worldview by making time for artists that operate within genres I don’t always naturally gravitate towards.  This was a great year to get back into hip-hop (Rico Nasty, Cardi B, Tierra Whack, Black Panther OST) after not really vibing with some of the directions it has taken in the past ten or so years.  I have also tried to include a track by every band I saw in 2018, providing they actually released something in 2018 and it is available on Spotify (strong apologies to Partner, Bully, Shellshagg, Kimya Dawson, Rozwell Kid, Los Campesinos, the incomparable Liz Phair, and the legendary Fleetwood Mac--y’all didn’t release anything this year).  I give myself until the end of January of the following year to finalize my expansive, year-end playlist, and here we are.  This years playlist is over 15 hours long--almost long enough to put on while you’re doing all that laundry you've been putting off.  I hope you enjoy.

Full list of songs:

The 1975 - “Love it if We Made it”, from A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

Ab-Soul - “Bloody Waters” [ft. Anderson .Paak], from _Black Panther _OST Adult Mom - “Drive Me Home”, from Soft Spots Amanda Palmer - “Mr. Weinstein Will See You Now” [ft. Jasmine Power], from “Mr. Weinstein Will See You Now” single Amen Dunes - “Miki Dora”, from Freedom American Pleasure Club - “New Years Eve”, from A Whole Fucking Lifetime of This Animal Collective - “Jake & Me”, from Tangerine Reef Anna Burch - “Quit the Curse”, from Quit the Curse Anna Calvi - “Don’t Beat the Girl Out of My Boy”, from Hunter Antarctigo Vespucci - “Not Yours”, from Love in the Time of E-Mail Arctic Monkeys - “Four Out of Five”, from Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino Ariana Grande - “No Tears Left to Cry”, from Sweetener Ava Luna - “Centerline”, from Moon 2

The Bascinets - “Jangle Bee”, from 378 Vol. 1 EP Bat Fangs - “Bad Astrology”, from Bad Astrology Beach House - “Last Ride”, from 7 Bear Hands - “Back Seat Driver”, from “Back Seat Driver” single Bettye LaVette - “What Was it You Wanted” [ft. Trombone Shorty], [Bob Dylan cover], from Things Have Changed Big Freedia - “Karaoke” [ft. Lizzo], from 3rd Ward Bounce Billie Eilish - “When the Party’s Over”, from “When the Party’s Over” single Black Belt Eagle Scout - “Soft Stud”, from Mother of My Children Bleachers - “Alfie’s Song (Not So Typical Love Song)”, from Love, Simon OST Blood Orange - “Charcoal Baby”, from Negro Swan Bob Dylan - “He’s Funny That Way” [Gene Austin cover], from Universal Love: Wedding Songs Reimagined Booji Boys - “Locked (Barely Open)”, from Unknown Pleathers EP Boygenius - “Bite the Hand”, from Boygenius EP Brandi Carlile - “Every Time I Hear That Song”, from By the Way, I Forgive You The Breeders - “Walking With a Killer”, from All Nerve  Bristletongue - “Thistle Among Roses”, from Femme Florale EP Brockhampton - “Thug Life”, from Iridescence

Camp Cope - “The Opener”, from How to Socialise & Make Friends Cardi B - “Ring” [ft. Kehlani], from Invasion of Privacy Caroline Rose - “Bikini”, from Loner Caroline Says - “Cool Jerk”, from No Fool Like an Old Fool The Carters - “Apeshit”, from Everything is Love Cat Power - “Wanderer”, from Wanderer Celine Dion - “Ashes”, from Deadpool 2 OST Chai - “Fried”, from Pink Chance the Rapper - “My Own Thing” [ft. Big Purp], from “My Own Thing” single Childish Gambino - “This is America”, from “This is America” single Christine & the Queens - “Girlfriend” [ft. Dâm-Funk], from Chris Chvrches - “Get Out”, from Love is Dead Closer - “This Year”, from All This Will Be Cloud Nothings - “So Right, So Clean”, from Last Building Burning Company of Thieves - “Window”, from Better Together EP Comrade Question - “Never Change”, from Four Seasons Con Connections - “Low, Low, Low”, from Foreign Affairs Control Top - “Type A”, from “Type A” single Courtney Barnett - “Charity”, from Tell Me How You Really Feel Cupcakke - “Total”, from Ephorize

Damn the Witch Siren - “I Don’t Want to Say I’m Sorry”, from Red Magic Daphne & Celeste - “You & I Alone”, from Daphne & Celeste Save the World Dashboard Confessional - “We Fight”, from Crooked Shadows David Byrne - “Everybody’s Coming to My House”, from American Utopia Death Cab For Cutie - “Gold Rush”, from Thank You For Today The Decemberists - “I’ll Be Your Girl”, from I’ll Be Your Girl” A Delicate Motor - “Do For Self”, from Fellover My Own didi - “Haru”, from Like Memory Foam Dilly Dally - “Bad Biology”, from Heaven Dirty Projectors - “I Found it in U”, from Lamp Lit Prose Django Django - “Beam Me Up, from Marble Skies Downtown Boys - “Fotos y Recuerdos” [Selena cover], from “Fotos y Recuerdos” single Drake - “In My Feelings”, from Scorpion Dream Wife - “Spend the Night”, from Dream Wife DRAM - “WWYD?”, from That’s a Girl’s Name EP Drinks - “Pink Or Die”, from Hippo Lite

El Perro Del Mar - “We Are History”, from We Are History EP EMA - “Dark Shadows”, from Outtakes From Exile EP Empath - “The Eye”, from Liberating Guilt & Fear EP Empress Of - “Love For Me”, from Us Ezra Furman - "Suck the Blood From My Wound", from Transangelic Exodus

Father John Misty - "Disappointing Diamonds Are the Rarest of Them All", from God's Favorite Customer Fatoumata Diawara - "Nterini", from Fenfo (Something to Say) Fields & Planes - "Alice", from Press First Aid Kit - "It's a Shame", from Ruins Fischerspooner - "Discreet", from Sir  Flasher - "Business Unusual", from Constant Image Florence & the Machine - "Hunger", from High As Hope Frank Ocean - "Moon River" [Audrey Hepburn cover], from "Moon River" single Franz Ferdinand - "The Academy Award", from Always Ascending The Frights - "Over It", from Hypochondriac Fucked Up - "Tell Me What You See", from Dose Your Dreams

Gabby's World - "Winter, Withdraw", from Beast On Beast Gerard Way - "Baby You're a Haunted House", from "Baby You're a Haunted House" single Gia Margaret - "Smoke", from There's Always Glimmer Girlpool - "Picturesong", from "Picturesong" single The Go! Team - "The Answer's No--Now What's the Question?", from Semicircle Goodbye Honolulu - "Lorry Can't Love", from More Honey Goat Girl - "The Man With No Heart Or Brain", from Goat Girl Greta Van Fleet - "When the Curtain Falls", from Anthem of the Peaceful Army Gymshorts - "Ding Dong Ditch", from Knock Knock

H.E.R. - "Lord is Coming", from I Used to Know Her: Part Two EP harunemuri **- "sekaiwotorikaeshiteokure", from harutosyura Hatchie - "Sure", from Sugar & Spice EP Hinds - "To the Morning Light", from I Don't Run The HIRS Collective - "Not For You" [Moor Mother remix], from Friends, Lovers, Favorites Hop Along - "Not Abel", from Bark Your Head Off, Dog Hovvdy - "Late", from Cranberry Hozier - "Nina Cried Power" [ft. Mavis Staples], from Nina Cried Power EP

Iceage - "Take it All", from Beyondless  Idles - "Smaritans", from Joy As an Act of Rebellion Illuminati Hotties - "The Rules", from Kiss Yr Frenemies Interpol - "If You Really Love Nothing", from Marauder The Interrupters - "Gave You Everything", from Fight the Good Fight Iron & Wine - "Milkweed", from Weed Garden EP

Jack White - "Over & Over & Over", from Boarding House Reach Janelle Monae - "Pynk" [ft. Grimes], from Dirty Computer Japanese Breakfast - "Dreams" [The Cranberries cover], from Spotify Singles Jay Rock - "Redemption" [ft. SZA], from Redemption Jeff Rosenstock - "Let Them Win", from POST- Jenn Champion - "O.M.G. (I'm All Over It)", from Single Rider Jenny Hval - "Spells", from The Long Sleep EP Jorja Smith - "I Am", from Black Panther OST Joyce Manor - "Fighting Kangaroo", from Million Dollars to Kill Me Juice WRLD - "Lucid Dreams", from Goodbye & Good Riddance Julia Holter - "Turn the Light On", from Aviary Juliana Hatfield - "A Little More Love" [Olivia Newton-John cover], from Juliana Hatfield Sings Olivia Newton-John  Jupiter & Okwess - "Ekombe", from Kin Sonic

Kacey Musgraves - "Space Cowboy", from Golden Hour Karen O - "YO! MY SAINT" [ft. Michael Kiwanuka], from "YO! MY SAINT" single Kendrick Lamar - "All the Stars" [ft SZA], from Black Panther OST Kero Kero Bonito - "Time Today", from Time 'n' Place Kesha - "I Need a Woman to Love" [Janis Joplin cover], from Universal Love: Wedding Songs Reimagined  Khalid - "Love Lies" [ft. Normani], from Love, Simon OST King Princess - "Pussy is God", from "Pussy is God" single Kimbra - "Right Direction", from Primal Heart Kississippi **- "Adrift", from Sunset Blush Krimewatch - "The Big Picture", from Krimewatch Kurt Vile - "Check Baby", from Bottle it In

Lala Lala - "I Get Cut", from The Lamb Laura Jane Grace & the Devouring Mothers - "Reality Bites", from Bought to Rot Laura Stevenson - "Maker of Things", from "The Mystic & the Master" single Lauren Ruth Ward - "Well, Hell", from Well, Hell Leikeli47 - "Top Down", from Acrylic Leon Bridges - "Bet Ain't Worth the Hand", from Good Thing  Loma - "Relay Runner", from Loma Long Neck - "Elizabeth", from Will This Do? Lord Huron - "Wait By the River", from Vide Noir Low - "Rome (Always in the Dark)", from Double Negative  Lowpines - "Parasite", from In Silver Halides Lucius - "Woman", from Nudes Lucy Dacus - "Timefighter", from Historian Lykke Li - “Jaguars in the Air”, from So Sad, So Sexy

The Men - "Come to Me", from Drift Meshell Ndegeocello - "Smooth Operator" [Sade cover], from Ventriloquism Metric - "Dressed to Suppress", from Art of Doubt MGMT - "One Thing Left to Try", from Little Dark Age Middle Kids - "Edge of Town", from Lost Friends Mister Moon - "Plastic", from Codes EP Mitski - "Nobody", from Be the Cowboy Mountain Man - "AGT", from Magic Ship Mourn - "Candle Man", from Sorpresa Familia Muncie Girls - "Jeremy", from Fixed Ideals Mungbean - "Wednesday", from "Wednesday/Aimed at You" single

Natalie Prass - "The Fire", from The Future & The Past Neko Case - "Gumball Blue", from Hell-On Night Flowers - "Head On", from Wild Notion Noble Vices - "Wheelhouses", from "Wheelhouses" single Noname - “With You", from Room 25 Nothing - "Us/We/Are", from Dance On the Blacktop Now, Now - "Window", from Saved

Ohmme - "Icon", from Parts The Ophelias - "Lover's Creep", from Almost Ought - "Disgraced in America", from Room Inside the World Ovlov - "Stick", from TRU

Palm - "Swimmer", from Rock Island Parquet Courts - "Normalisation", from Wide Awake! Peach Kelli Pop - "Parasomnia", from Gentle Leader Peggy Gou - "It Makes You Forget (Itgehane)" [edit], from "It Makes You Forget (Itgehane)" single A Perfect Circle - "So Long & Thanks For All the Fish", from Eat the Elephant Petal - "Stardust", from Magic Gone Phoebe Bridgers - "Friday I'm in Love" [The Cure cover], from Spotify Singles Pinky Pinky - "Robber", from Hot Tears  Poppy - "Play Destroy" [ft. Grimes], from Am I a Girl? Preoccupations - "Espionage", from New Material Princess Chelsea - "I Love My Boyfriend", from The Loneliest Girl Protomartyr - "Wheel of Fortune" [ft. Kelley Deal], from Consolation EP

Q-Tip and Demi Lovato - "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" [Elton John cover], from Revamp

Radattack - "Rock & Roll Party Queen", from "Rock & Roll Party Queen" single Rainbow Kitten Surprise - "Hide", from How to: Friend, Love, Freefall Remember Sports - "Making it Right", from Slow Buzz Rico Nasty - "Oreo", from Nasty Robert Delong - "Favorite Color is Blue" [ft. K-Flay], from See You in the Future EP Robyn - "Missing U", from Honey Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - "Exclusive Grave", from Hope Downs Ron Gallo - "Really Nice Guys", from Really Nice Guys EP Rosalia - "Di Mi Nombre", from El Mal Querer Saintseneca -  ” Good Hand", from Pillar of Na Say Lou Lou - "All Love to Me", from Immortelle Screaming Females - "Deeply", from All at Once Shame - "Concrete", from Songs of Praise Shannon & the Clams - "The Boy", from Onion Shannon Shaw - "Golden Frames", from Shannon in Nashville Shilpa Ray - "Shoot This Dying Horse", from Nihilism The Sidekicks - "Twin's Twist", from Happiness Hours SiR - "Summer in November", from November Skating Polly - "Free Will at Ease", from The Make it All Show Sleep - "Marijuanaut's Theme", from The Sciences Slothrust - "For Robin", from The Pact Smashing Pumpkins - "Silver Sometimes (Ghosts)", from Shiny & Oh So Bright, Vol. 1: No Past, No Future, No Sun Snail Mail - "Pristine", from Lush Snarls - "Lonely", from Snarls EP SOB X RBE - "Paramedic!", from Black Panther OST Soccer Mommy - "Cool", from Clean SOPHIE - "Immaterial", from Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides Souther - "Enough", from Blume EP Spiritualized - "On the Sunshine", from And Nothing Hurt SSION - "1980-99" [ft. Patty Schemel and Sky Ferreira], from O St. Vincent - "Los Ageless" [piano version], from Mass Education Stef Chura - "Degrees", from "Degrees/Sour Honey" single Sunflower Bean - "Burn It", from Twentytwo in Blue Superchunk - "Erasure" [ft. Stephin Merritt and Waxahatchee], from What a Time to Be Alive  Superorganism - "Night Time", from Superorganism Swearin' - "Big Change", from Fall Into the Sun

Tanya Tagaq - "Run to the Hills" [ft. Damian Abraham] [Iron Maiden cover], from "Run to the Hills" single Tanlines - "Row, Row, Row Your Boat", from Presents EP Teenage Wrist - "Dweeb", from Chrome Neon Jesus They Might Be Giants - "Let's Get This Over With", from I Like Fun Third Eye Blind - "In the Fade" [Queens of the Stone Age cover], from Thanks For Everything EP Thumpers - "Tenor", from Life All In EP Tierra Whack - "Fuck Off", from Whack World Titus Andronicus - "Above the Bodega (Local Business)", from A Productive Cough Tom Misch - "Isn't She Lovely" [Stevie Wonder cover], from Geography Tomberlin - "You Are Here", from At Weddings Toto - "Hash Pipe" [Weezer cover], from "Hash Pipe" single Tracyanne & Danny - "It Can't Be Love Unless it Hurts", from Tracyanne & Danny  TT - "Take One", from LoveLaws tune-yards - "Colonizer", from i can feel you creep into my private life Turtlenecked - "Knocked Down By Another Ghost", from High Scores of the Heart TV Girl - "King of Echo Park", from Death of a Party Girl Twin Shadow - "Saturdays" [ft. Haim], from Caer

U.S. Girls - "Rage of Plastics", from In a Poem Unlimited Ultra Beauty - "Pegasuss", from Ultra Beauty EP Unknown Mortal Orchestra - "Hunnybee", from Sex & Food

Vacation - "Action Road", from Mouth Sounds #2699 The Vaccines - "Surfing in the Sky", from Combat Sports Valerie June - "Mad About the Girl", from Universal Love: Wedding Songs Reimagined

Waxahatchee - "Takes So Much", from Great Thunder EP Weaves - "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)", from "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" single The Weeknd - "Wasted Times", from My Dear Melancholy EP Weezer - "Africa" [Toto cover], from "Africa" single Westerman  - "Albatross", from Ark EP Wished Bone - "Ohio", from Cellar Belly The Wombats - "Dip You in Honey", from Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life  Wussy - "Cake", from What Heaven is Like Wye Oak - "I Know It's Real", from The Louder I Call the Faster it Runs

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Thirteen" [Big Star cover], from Spotify Singles Young Fathers - "Fee Fi", from Cocoa Sugar Young Guv - "Ain't Fallin' in Luv Again", from 2 Sad 2 Funk Yowler - "WTFK", from Black Dog in My Path Yungblud - "I Love You, Will You Marry Me", from 21st Century Liability

https://open.spotify.com/user/barfwalker/playlist/7mCLnG6CZG1yB4q8uhzcys?si=Ip-Lka-0TOWCWRLMXGZ26w

[yesbiffwritesthings]

Car wreck + particularly stressful week at work + haven't listened to anything but SZA in like four days = me being dragged all over the fucking emotional spectrum lately. LOL y'all remember when I was a comedian? That was weird. https://www.instagram.com/p/BsZx45nFcaS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hpqiwocqml0h

[yesbiffwritesthings]

... Thinking about moving my blog in light of some new developments on this site.

... also just considering writing more.  I should probably do that.

... I donno.

[yesbiffwritesthings]

Hi, my name is Brad Walker, Aries, ENTP, I'm a writer, storyteller, and comedian based out of Columbus, Ohio. I host the Queer Community Mic every third Thursday of the month at Wild Goose Creative. I enjoy karaoke, voting, Mexican food, and screaming into the void. (at Columbus, Ohio) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp2EsoxgoP5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1agz74mqpvb23

[yesbiffwritesthings]

Cartoon Cartoons! (at Half Price Books) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpnD-26Arl2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=tj80dou4m3po

[yesbiffwritesthings]

Although I think Steven Universe is kind of overly precious and self-important, the store theme for Halloween at work this year was Cartoon Network and this is a costume I could pull together with stuff I already own. https://www.instagram.com/p/BpnDoNVgmki/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=eg0jw82ivnfk

[yesbiffwritesthings]

"The Castle of Otranto" is so tied to the canon of "gothic" that I was expecting something kind of spooky, but by today's standards it's pretty tame. Less thrills and chills and more comedy of errors, with a lot of soapy, convenient plot twists. Our main character and antagonist is Prince Manfred, ruler of Otranto who ascended to the throne by precarious means and now hopes to secure his position by marrying his only son and heir, Conrad, to Isabella, the daughter of his political rival. Prince Manfred, it is also worth noting, is ripe for a mid-life crisis, which blows up fantastically throughout the novel. But on Conrad and Isabella's wedding day... A GIANT BRONZE HELMET FALLS FROM THE SKY CRUSHING CONRAD UNDERNEATH IT. Manfred then decides, "you know what, I'm gonna marry Isabella my damn self. She's a hot young babe, I'm a... rich guy!" But this presents several problems, not least of which being that ol' Manny already has a wife, Hippolita, who is a nice gal, dumb as a rock, and like... head over heels in love with Manfred. Additionally when Manfred broaches the subject to Isabella she's straight up like "Ew, you're old!" and runs the fuck away. And it kinda goes on like that for 110 pages. Isabella spends the entire book trying to get away from Manfred so that she doesn't have to touch his wrinkled scrotum, Manfred is presented with a litany of obstacles he thinks he's smart enough to overcome but totes isn't. Hippolita spends the whole fucking book being like "Manfred wants a DIVORCE so he can chase after a teenage girl... BUT I LOVE HIM". Also there's a subplot about Manfred's least-favorite child, Matilda, who thinks maybe she should just become a nun because at least it would get her out of the house, falling in love with a mysterious peasant boy named Theodore. ... Actually Theodore and Matilda take up a lot of real estate in this book--a lot more than Isabella does--but I'm having a hard time expressing why they're so important without going into the whole convoluted backstory of this book. All in all, short read, kinda fun, better than Sleepy Hollow, but kind of a mess. #TheCastleOfOtranto #HoraceWalpole #bookreview https://www.instagram.com/p/BpkApkjlTPo/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cvwys37a8omm

[yesbiffwritesthings]

Oh hey! I haven't done a book review in a while! ... This one is kinda boring! I, of course, was already familiar with The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, I'm sure you are too. It's kind of uneventful, but the writing has style doesn't lack flare, but it's kinda long-winded. I know I'm in the minority, but I'm more impressed when a writer can make an impactful use of brevity. Additionally, our protagonist, Ichabod Crane isn't a likable person. He's like a doofy school teacher who smacks the kids around, gets too turnt-up at parties, and only really pursues his love interest Katrina because she's hot and she has a rich dad. It doesn't help the story much that his rival for Katrina's affections, Brom Bones, also seems like a dick. Brom Bones is like this meathead, 19th century Ashton Kucher type, going around "Punk'd-ing" everybody in the country round--but everybody gives him a pass because he's got that cis white dude goldenboy privilege. So the story comes to a head when Ichabod goes to this Halloween party (basically) at Katrina's place, and gets like chocolate-wasted and starts kinda making an ass of himself (relatable). And Katrina, whaddyaknow, isn't really feeling it; it becomes real clear to our boy Ich that she's not really that into him and she's gonna let Brom Bones slip her the Bone (I mean, get it gal). So Ichabod leaves in a huff and drunk drives his horse back home through Sleepy Hollow, where he encounters legend & icon The Headless Horseman who chases him all through the hollow, eventually throwing a pumpkin at him and making him wreck his horse into the river... AND THAT'S THE LAST ANYBODY EVER SEES OF ICHABOD CRANE OOOOOOO!!! ... Except not really, it's revealed a couple of years later that he just moved to the next town over and became like a fucking judge or something. And that Headless Horseman probs not a ghost, probs just Brom Bones being a dick. Andrew from Overdue Podcast put it pretty succinctly on their episode about Sleepy Hollow, saying "This isn't really spooky, it's just a story about some weiner who gets hit with a pumpkin". https://www.instagram.com/p/BpgPeHolaUs/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ikg1emlzbh6o

[yesbiffwritesthings]

freewrite from last summer. Still rings true.