yishuns

[yishuns]

arcane (s2) sentence starters

ep1 - 8. warning for spoilers !

❝ everybody wants to be my enemy. ❞ ❝ you’re our leader. they follow you. i follow you. ❞ ❝ i've seen miracles spring from the hands of mages many times, but so often, they turned to horrors. ❞ ❝ why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? for love. ❞ ❝ in my experience, no one in power is innocent. ❞ ❝ i don't wanna hear another word out of your mouth. ❞ ❝ i keep telling myself that you're different. but you're not. ❞ ❝ i haven't insulted your intelligence. do not insult mine. ❞ ❝ if you see the opening...take the shot. ❞ ❝ it's me. your vile villainess. the author of your nightmares. ❞ ❝ you have no inkling what family is to me. ❞ ❝ our paths diverged long ago. it was affection that held us together. ❞ ❝ i'm done blaming myself for your mistakes. ❞ ❝ there's one thing i know in my bones. there is no force in this world that can control you. ❞ ❝ your talents can be used to build, instead of destroy. ❞ ❝ no beast is more savage than man. ❞ ❝ i am the dirt under your nails. nothing's gonna clean me out. ❞ ❝ the dirt was on both our hands. ❞ ❝ stick your head in the dirt if you want, but this fantasy you've been living out here, it's not gonna last forever. ❞ ❝ now people avert their gaze when i roll by. ❞ ❝ still giving me the silent treatment, huh? ❞ ❝ you think it's so easy? to turn your back while your city looks to you for salvation? ❞ ❝ playing coy doesn't suit you, love. ❞ ❝ is it bad that i'm making friends with my demons? ❞ ❝ can i do the right thing for the wrong reason? ❞ ❝ ever since you dropped into my life, it's like i put on glasses. ❞ ❝ jeez, lady, you crazy? talking to dead people. ❞ ❝ sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind. ❞ ❝ that's a past life, kid. and it was about as sweet as last year's milk. ❞ ❝ why is peace always the justification for violence? ❞ ❝ haven't i done you enough favors? ❞ ❝ i must say goodbye to this place now. to you. ❞ ❝ you got that look in your eye again. what are you planning? ❞ ❝ people have lost their heads for less. ❞ ❝ everyone in my life has changed. promise me you won't change. ❞ ❝ wrath must be met with wrath. ❞ ❝ what you've stolen…is more precious than any gold. ❞ ❝ i apologize for the intrusion. i was attempting to sneak in. ❞ ❝ address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut. ❞ ❝ this is what you asked for. heavy is the crown. ❞ ❝ and then what? you take what you need, hang me out to dry? ❞ ❝ do you realize how easy it was for me to track you down here? ❞ ❝ awful, isn't it? losing a loved one. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i’m not comfortable trusting our fates to chance. ❞ ❝ you think it's so easy? to turn your back while your city looks to you for salvation? ❞ ❝ whether i'm pulling the pin or not, everyone who gets close to me dies. ❞ ❝ you walk along the edge of danger and it will change you. ❞ ❝ your youth betrays you. patience is a product of age. both of which i possess in abundance. ❞ ❝ we gotta choose right now whether we're gonna throw in the towel or make a stand together. ❞ ❝ i had a different name back then, you know. ❞ ❝ when will you admit that this is just one of your fantasies? ❞ ❝ my arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle. ❞ ❝ such force must be a final resort. ❞ ❝ in my experience, only guilty men answer accusations with silence. ❞ ❝ every time it seems like we might catch a break. ❞ ❝ you're a monster. why? why do all this? ❞ ❝ i must ask you to surrender your weapons. this is a place of peace. ❞ ❝ i still think it's a dumb idea. but i guess you won, and a deal's a deal. ❞ ❝ it’s nice to know there are still good ones left. ❞ ❝ i promise, it's the last offer you're gonna get. ❞ ❝ no matter what i do, i just can’t seem to die. ❞ ❝ maybe i underestimated you. maybe you have the strength i do not. ❞ ❝ you don't actually need my help. you haven't for a long time. ❞ ❝ like it or not, we're in this mess together. ❞ ❝ compassion. hate. two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. you’re not gonna like it. ❞ ❝ come closer, will you, babe? ❞ ❝ i'd feared i wouldn't have the chance to speak with you again. ❞

❝ you here to finish me off? ❞ ❝ i thought you were on our side. ❞ ❝ what is up with you? you've been out of it all day. ❞ ❝ as good as it feels to pour everyone's drink, you need to fill your own cup every now and again. ❞ ❝ you must destroy it. it corrupts. consumes. ❞ ❝ sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind. ❞ ❝ we do not lament a warrior's death. we avenge it. ❞ ❝ for the gifted, arrogance is the ultimate threat. ❞ ❝ why do you persist? after everything i've done? ❞ ❝ you're not alone. look at my shadow right behind you like a ghost. ❞ ❝ there is nothing to gain from this senseless bloodshed. ❞ ❝ i choose wrong every time. and because of it, i've lost everyone. ❞ ❝ go. before i do something i regret. ❞ ❝ i don't wanna lose what makes me "me" chasing some wild dream. ❞ ❝ i'm gonna find a way back, with or without you. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i've been an idiot. and an ass. you're hurting too. ❞ ❝ one's thoughts are more easily gathered in isolation. ❞ ❝ all right, out with it. what do you want from me? ❞ ❝ hey, in case i don't remember to tell you tomorrow, you've always meant the world to me. ❞ ❝ you ever wish you could just stay in one moment? ❞ ❝ if you're here to kill me, make sure to finish the job. ❞ ❝ i think beneath that mask you're scared. ❞ ❝ i must say that since i've met you, i've truly lived. ❞ ❝ never seen you give up on anything. ❞ ❝ i have the feeling that you'll be running this place soon. ❞ ❝ i think beneath that mask you're scared. ❞ ❝ i'm choosing to fight. and i pray that you will join me. ❞ ❝ this place will grow on you. you'll see. ❞ ❝ you're never gonna give up on me, are you? ❞ ❝ i think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away. ❞ ❝ hating you…i've hated myself. i just don't have the energy for it any longer. ❞ ❝ greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive. ❞ ❝ oh, don't get all mushy on me now. ❞ ❝ i'm always with you. even when we're worlds apart. ❞ ❝ just 'cause you're having a bad day, don't take it out on me. ❞ ❝ look at the price of your ambition. you've sacrificed everything. ❞ ❝ you taught me the best lies come wrapped in truth. ❞ ❝ i feel like i woke up in the wrong universe. ❞ ❝ oh, spare the sympathy. ❞ ❝ uh, you do realize code phrases don't work when you make them up on the spot? ❞ ❝ desperation is the doorway to oblivion. ❞ ❝ it was a mistake to come here. ❞ ❝ this will have consequences. ❞ ❝ i know it's my fault that i'm here all alone. ❞ ❝ if you choose to flee, don't stop running. ❞ ❝ go and make some mistakes. you live and you learn. ❞ ❝ let me guess. you think i'm holding myself back. ❞ ❝ i have people back home who need me. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry i haven’t been around. ❞

[yishuns]

@aicidos remember this. i just wanted to remind you about this. no i dont want to elaborate

she’s anxious tonight, the way that speaks to a huge impending battle that they don’t know they’ll make it out of, and when sleep evades her, seeking company feels like the natural thing to do. dorothea’s surprised to find ferdinand outside his tent still, despite the late hour. she’d kinda had him pegged for one of those early to sleep, early to rise types. guess he can still surprise her, even after all this time. in the moment, an idea sparks. he doesn’t seem to be looking her way, so she takes a detour around his line of sight, quiet as can be, before returning to sit beside him around the camp’s fire.

“hey, ferdie, ” dorothea begins, hastening to explain her presence before he has a chance to probe, “ i couldn’t sleep, and when i saw you out here, i was thinking… we never quite got around to having those pastries you made, did we? ” she hesitates for a beat before proceeding to pull out a plate of biscuits from behind her back that are, at the very least, innocuous looking, “ i hope it’s not too forward of me, but i, well, made some biscuits earlier. would you like to try one? ” she waits for his reaction — dorothea knows her reputation for cooking isn’t the greatest, after all, so rejection wouldn’t come as a surprise to her. she feels bad, testing him like this, which… explains why her resolve crumbles soon enough, breaking character as shyness melts into humor manifested in upturned lips, “ i’m just kidding. i got these from the cafeteria ; they’re safe to eat. ”

another pause, as if she’s dancing to a tune only she can hear, her every breath following its rise and fall.

and then,

“ hey, ferdie? if we survive this war… will you make them for me again? ”

   The consistent curve of his back, slumped forward to closely watch the tip of his lance as it hit the whetstone, had started to weigh him down altogether. The campfire had reduced to a barely-lively couple of flares, and he started to suspect the strain from squinting had started to bring forth a headache. Perhaps Dorothea had noticed that too, or, less optimistically, her presence had been entirely coincidental. Ferdinand knew which option he was inclined towards, if only to soothe that same war-weary fatigue he could recognize in her as well. He straightened then, and found himself interrupted just as he was about to return her greeting in kind.

   At the mention of their past, his grip on the whetstone faltered just so: like with most emotions, Ferdinand had never worn surprise with subtlety. 

   “...Correct. Sharing them over tea had been my intention all along, but… after you left, my appetite trailed off behind you. Fortunately, Bernadetta seemed to appreciate my generosity after I offered them to her.” His smile was fond for many reasons, and before it could turn into something more curious, Dorothea managed to startle his pulse into quickening with a single, simple reveal, which wasn’t actually that simple to him. “You made these? For me alone? Ah, no, forgive my presumption, I was merely...” Stating his wishful thinking aloud? he couldn’t say that, either. Ferdinand felt the same liquid warmth that spread over his chest reach his face, and he thanked the heavens the lighting was poor. “...Er, regardless! As I am deeply touched by your thoughtfulness, I shall repay you by way of—! Huh?”

   All at once, his body temperature runs cold, and his frantic display of gratitude is quieted into shock. Huh? 

   “O-oh, it was... a joke... yes, I should have known. They do seem rather familiar, now that I look at them closely.” Despite the great wave of disappointment washing at his feet, he chuckled, mostly at himself. “I’m grateful, nonetheless,” a brief pause of his own, voice crystalline, maybe the slightest bit cheeky, “You were thinking of me, after all.”

   She was quiet, and he let her. Silence was a luxury they could hardly afford, unless they seeked it late into the night or early at dawn. Besides Dorothea, however, the quiet was nothing short of meditation. When she next spoke, he turned his body to face her. In that moment, a particularly resilient flame made the bonfire crackle, persevering still. 

   He had pondered that future often. It was best he thought of it through idealization if he hoped to keep a semblance of faith amidst the setbacks they had endured, and one aspect of his plans kept him obstinate: life after the war, or rather, home, beyond any material representation. In other words, Dorothea. It’s what he envisioned, at the very least, when he thought of the notion. His heart wouldn’t settle, but he willed himself to safekeep those aspirations. Until the war ended, that is.

   “When we win the war,” He began, voice even and effectively single-minded as he reached for the hand atop her lap, gently squeezing it in further reassurance,  "I shall prepare them as often as you'd like me to.”

[yishuns]

umm um um hi. inbox call? 👉👈

[yishuns]

@paranormalite, continued.

there’s little to parties like these besides the abundance of easy prey in attendance, and any thrill from the con is tempered immediately by the lack of challenge within it, without which the game becomes simple and boring and a matter of mind-numbing grinding.

sometimes — rarely — if he’s lucky, min strikes gold in the form of like-minded company.

sometimes, if he’s really lucky, he gets kaien.

“missed you in there,” min all but overtly confirms, abandoning caution to the whim of kaien as he makes his way over. as with trust, vulnerability is a two way street. the cool air makes it hard to overthink — impulsively, he leans in close enough for their shoulders to brush.

“wanna get out of here? i got what i came for, professionally,” there’s the undercurrent of an inside joke in his voice, layered beneath a secretive smile, “…but i wouldn’t say no to some extra company on top. i have a safehouse nearby — maybe we can compare notes.”

[yishuns]

the stage is a release. everything leading up to a show is just that — a buildup of tension as the wave closes in, the heightening anticipation before a performance; and everything that follows is the ebbing of the tide, the gradual slowing of tempo as a piece ends. there’s something to the rhythm of the sea, the metaphor of it so distinctly evident in astra’s life, that she can’t help but be drawn to —

— and a picture is worth a thousand words: so astra likes to come here sometimes, to remind herself that while life as a whole is incomprehensibly bigger than all of them, it’s in the small things that meaningful connections can be found.

“aren’t you my bodyguard, eve?” astra says playfully, flirting with its edges as she dances along the port with light steps, “i’m sure i can count on you to protect me from a little water!”

dawn is fettered, winged — hard to look at and beloved and when evelyn prefers running; [ what more can nightshade do but flee beneath light? ] but, in typical @yishuns fashion, routines change and urges shift and perceptions alter, and they are together at port elpis as sunrise peeks the water, standing on the pier with minimal disguises.

it always comes back to that: transparency. "we're not fishing like this, are we?" in clothes too formal for leisurely activity. "mine are fine, but that dress is a loaner for the shoot today. don't get it wet." ; ♡, 3 / 5.

[yishuns]

it isn’t that shinichi doesn’t feel bad taking advantage of ran like this. it’s just — the thought of her being hurt because of him, the potential of it, hurts far worse than his keeping secrets from her. shinichi is no god, and if he can’t guarantee her safety, he will do his damned best to take the bullet before it hits her.

the rest can be dealt with later.

it doesn’t mean he isn’t tempted to tell her, either. he entertains the idea far more often than should be encouraged, constantly having to argue against his base instinct— the part of him who craves that need for understanding, the comfort found within that. but then, shinichi is a logical creature, and logic always wins out in the end. so he doesn’t tell her this: shinichi is in love with you. shinichi is conan is me. (i’m in love with you.)

he isn’t afraid that she won’t believe him. he’s afraid she does, and, being headstrong in the mouri way, decides to take matters into her own hands. it’s part of why he loves her, but that love, if not rationalized, can become dangerous. (shinichi is a logical creature.)

conan is a child: he has an excuse to surrender some of his burden, so long as it’s not also shinichi’s.

he looks up at ran, reframes her through the eyes of conan and erases the lingering silhouette of ran-in-the-eyes-of-shinichi, and awkwardly reaches a hand out to press against the side of her face. after all, comfort goes both ways, even in this tangled up three-way junction that they’ve reached.

“ah—! um, right, he said an urgent case came up, but he’ll definitely find a way to come see you again soon. he says there’s something important he has to tell you, but that he can only do it in person. it’s a promise, he said.” he pauses, briefly wondering if she even still believes shinichi’s words, but before he can second-guess any of the decisions he’s made, conan forges on, forcing himself to sound cheerful despite the guilt and doubt and worry: “i guess you have to make do with me in the meantime, ran-nee-chan!”

He disappears, and she finds herself scrambling again.

Theirs is a never-ending serial, always halting at the most inconvenient moment. She thinks she's finally ready - he disappears. She thinks he's going to tell her, and it will all make sense - he disappears. It's neither of their faults, she knows, dimly - they're having a conversation across days, weeks, months, like messages in a bottle put to sea, and always before they have the time to say anything, do anything other than crack open - IT ENDS. And she has to pick up the emotions at the moment it does, try to rearrange them before they irrevocably decay with the exposure, so that they might fit back into herself, might stay there until THE NEXT TIME.

It's hard, to always break only in halfways.

But Conan-kun is never far behind - so she breathes, and puts herself back together for now. He is always concerned for her, when there's NOTHING to do about it. There is always a message, a conclusion she cannot respond to and wants to hear anyway.

But Conan cannot play the messenger FOREVER, after all. Some things cannot be said in this way. "...It's alright." So Ran shakes her head, and she manages to smile. "Shinichi was just...hurried again, wasn't he?" Time and again, every time she sees him run out of her field of vision - she wonders if it's the last time she'll see him for a split second. "...Well, never mind that. What did your Shinichi-nii-chan want to tell me?"

[yishuns]

@paranormalite, prompt —

❝ it’s so like you to worry about things. ❞ iwaoi......

tooru adores summer.

there’s something in the air this time of year — besides the heat and the humidity and the bugs — that makes tooru feel extra alive: something intangible like freedom, or nebulous like whimsy; and it’s exclusive to summer, which mostly has to do with the fact that it’s when their longest break from school is.

but it should be different now that they’ve graduated. tooru’s been plotting this out for a while, leaving only the barest of hints for hajime so he’s not left to blindly figure out what he should pack for the trip. it’s their one final grand adventure, and then they’ll be off to new worlds of their own— on their own.

and it is different now that they’ve graduated. life feels more vast, yet somehow weightier at the same time. summer doesn’t have the same ticking clock until school begins; and since it isn’t just a month-long break anymore, there’s no inevitable end to being able to laze about— or, more accurately, hanging out with the team, spending most of the time playing volleyball. (it’s what he’ll miss most, tooru thinks. not the training, but the irreplaceable company of his friends.)

instead, it’s spring that sets a new and different clock ticking in tooru’s head, looming larger than life over his future and counting down to when he leaves — as far as he knows, for now, for the first time — for good.

so tooru frets about the schedule, plans out their reservations and routes and accounts for detours, because this is the last summer they have together for a while, if not for the indefinite future, and he needs it to be perfect if he wants these memories to hold through his time in argentina— if this is the end, then he needs the assurance that hajime will always remember them like this, a beautiful final firework to close out the night.

he ruffles hajime’s hair with a bright grin. “well, you see, iwa-chan, if i worry about everything else, then all you need to worry about is me~”

[yishuns]

@aicidos, prompt —

‘ what’s so important that you aren’t paying attention to me? ’ oikise naturally

“it’s no good to be so possessive that you get jealous when i look anywhere else,” tooru says, like a hypocrite. his gaze remains focused on the court below as his shoulder bumps into kise’s, almost idly, as if to acknowledge his presence there and nothing more than that.

“if you loved me, kise-kun, you’d pay more attention to the game and tell me what shiratorizawa’s weaknesses are, so i can exploit them when we face them next week.”

then, just to shoot his fair shot: “and if you really loved me, kise-kun, you’d join the volleyball club, instead of breaking my heart from the basketball team.”

[yishuns]

“dude, all this crap’s so annoying! d’you gotta keep complicating things like that? if he’s hurtin’ you, then doing something to stop it, ain’t that just self defense?” it’s simple, to him: violence breeds violence breeds retaliation.

but even ryuji can see that akechi isn’t going to be convinced, much less by him, and visibly deflates. “ugh, have it your way, whatever,” ryuji says, mumbling something that sounds like your loss right after. akechi may be right in the eyes of the law, but what satisfaction did that give him? this was why ryuji doesn’t like him very much.

“yeah, yeah, i remember our deal. we steal makoto’s sis’ heart and hope that’ll give us a shot at fixing the stupid system, but c’mon, there’s no way you don’t actually wanna shoot his shitty shadow in the face!”

tch.   akechi really was too bright for his own good   —   though ryuji supposed he’d been obvious about what he wanted in his own way.   he should’ve known,  though,  he might as well’ve been talking to a wall for all the good bargaining with akechi would do.   scratch that   —   talking to a wall might’ve been less infuriating.

“   so yer just gonna let him continue hurtin’ people?   ”   ryuji’s eyes narrow at that,  expression twisting like he was puzzling it out in real time but the piece in his hands was an irregularity that wouldn’t fit into the whole,   “   how’s that any kind of justice?   ”

so simplicity is the bearer of assumption: ❝ despite your bias, those are not one in the same. many would argue delivering justice to him through your means is an obstruction itself. myself included, if you recall. ❞ he speaks lightly, yet smiles sharp. ❝ besides, i can't help but feel that reaction is because you don't like me very much. ❞

❝ it's disheartening— but something i'm used to. celebrity isn't all you think it is, sakamoto. nor justice. there are other means of dealing with a rotten father. ❞ // @yeshens, con.

[yishuns]

A̲N̲D̲ H̲E̲R̲E̲ --- 'TWAS AS IF I HAD STEPPED INTO SOME LONG - FORGOT, ENCHANTED, STRANGE, SWEET GARDEN OF A THOUSAND YEARS AGO.

IRYONIN: SELECTIVE, HIGHLY PRIVATE [ S̲A̲K̲U̲R̲A̲ H̲A̲R̲U̲N̲O̲ ] FROM MASASHI KISHIMOTO'S NARUTO SERIES. HEAVILY HEADCANONED. UNDER21 DNI.

[yishuns]

an inordinate amount of glee fills him every time huaisang stumbles upon someone who hasn’t yet gotten wise to his tricks. it’s still up in the air if li shen is one of them, but if the obliviousness is part of an act, then regardless, wouldn’t it be such a waste not to play along?

“shen-ge,” huaisang says pityingly, “why do you think i’m here? i mean, this is the last place da-ge would look— in theory, of course. if he was looking for me, for these hypothetical lessons. which i’m sure don’t really exist, anyway, so you shouldn’t worry yourself about them! why don’t you tell me about what you’re doing, instead?”

@yishuns / starter.

he doesn't mind nie huaisang's company, but more often than not, it's because he evading something that he finds shelter in the physician's chambers. the nie sect leader has talked to li shen one too many times for him to let it slide entirely without comment. " huai sang, " he sighs, serving a disapproving glance at the student. " you're always welcome to be here if you wish to visit, but ... don't you have a tutoring session today ? "

[yishuns]

❝ you're the only one who can get away with winning against me, sho. ❞ a hum, light and yet firm - the chiding given to a child before firmer punishments, a warning. he flicks a game piece down, watching it fall unmoved onto the board, before averting his gaze with the dismissal of a god upon men; something that fails rarely deserves more than a fall, and byakuran's more interested in shoichi's expression. ❝ you could at least look happy about it! we never have time for games anymore. it's nostalgic, like our university days. you used to be more fun. ❞ byakuran @ shoichi from relightsmartyr : )

he makes it sound so polite, shoichi thinks bitterly, as if it isn’t the lives of men they’re gambling with. but then that callousness was always byakuran, and the acquiescence was always shoichi’s; no matter how much his disapproval strained against the cage of cowardice holding it, it never quite managed to break out, never quite evolved into anything substantial enough to dissuade byakuran from his more cruel whims.

not that shoichi thought he was important enough to byakuran for his opinion to hold weight, but that was— a dangerous tangent to explore when byakuran was looking at him, head tilted with interest, that honey-sweet smile on his face.

shoichi avoids his gaze, turning his head to look at a vague point in the distance. he’s smart enough to admit that byakuran’s always been the best at seeing through him, no matter the act he tried to put on, and he’s honest enough to admit, if only to himself, that he doesn’t want to know what byakuran’s reading in him now.

shoichi didn’t know what he feared more: that byakuran would say that he’d changed, or that byakuran would see that he hadn’t, and still at the heart of him it was that same cowardice that couldn’t be overcome.

“that’s because i didn’t know you then,” shoichi says, swallowing painfully, “not the way i know you now.” it was hubris to think that he knew— or had ever known— byakuran at all, really. it was the same mistake he committed in cycles. “and it’s, it’s not… this isn’t the same as the games we played in school. you’re the one who changed that.”

@relightsmartyr, absolutely fully unprompted. (< lying)

[yishuns]

𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 🔁 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬.

[yishuns]

my husbands are all back i'm going to blow up!!! anyway i'll be here again shortly<3

[yishuns]

❝ i can’t save you from yourself. it hurts terribly, but i can’t. ❞ man... toomin

He makes a sound in his throat between a huff and something far less breathy, upset at Tooru for stating the obvious but unable to begrudge him for it all the same.  He’s had years to make peace with how little time he’ll have once his body decides to turn on him, but for Tooru… right.  It must come as a shock — to know there’s a destined end to their movie nights, that if — WHEN — that expiration date passes — IN A YEAR, TWO, FIVE, TOMORROW — Min-Chul’s apartment will get repossessed, his streaming subscriptions (with all their favorite movies on perma-standby) will be cancelled, his refrigerator and cupboards (with all their favorite sweet and savory foods dedicatedly stocked) emptied, and there won’t be a place for Tooru to return to save his ruined once-kingdom because the thread connecting him to the surface world will be gone.  

(He tries to recall those first few minutes, days, months, and finds that he can’t, nothing past a TV-like static and miserably late mornings.  If he had to, he could dig for it like he does every childhood memory, but he knows nothing pleasant lies buried there.)

It’s almost an accusation — like Min-Chul’s the one dangling his death too close to Tooru’s face — but he understands why it hurts.  Min-Chul’s made his peace with it, as close to it as he could reach without a definitive timestamp to rely on, but he’s not the one who’ll be left alone in the wake of it all.  “You can’t.”  And it’s his responsibility — at least in part — to give Tooru a suitable place to bury that hurt —  “But I don’t even really think about it anymore.  So don’t ——— don't look at me like that.  Please.”  — and to make sure it’s not the same place he buried his.  

[yishuns]

@antimetathesis, continued; prompt —

❝ you haven’t changed, huh? ❞ TIMESKIP KAITOORU.

tooru’s never been one for patience. case in point: the pilot clears his throat, announcing their safe landing, and tooru doesn’t wait for their closing remarks to turn off airplane mode on his phone.

unwilling to watch the idly spinning circle as the network connected, he glances outside the window instead. the sky dawns clear, and he can hardly imagine a better welcome for his homecoming.

on cue, his phone starts vibrating, notifications rolling in as the floodgates are opened.

there’s the usual suspects: iwa-chan and mattsun and makki and the rest, messages wishing him a safe flight from hours ago; tooru skims them and continues scrolling until he finds — there it is, kaien’s i’ll see you soon and a location pin.

it’s a cafe by the airport that tooru’s familiar with, he realizes upon approach, which surprises him because he had expected things to change in the few years he’s been gone. kaien must’ve chosen it by virtue of tooru’s familiarity, then, and an uncontainable smile spreads across his face. it’s not wholly surprising, because kaien’s always been the type to notice the small things, and above that, to care.

tooru steps inside. they notice each other at the same time, their reactions mirrored: tooru catches kaien’s gaze scanning over him and quirks an eyebrow in response.

silence fills the space between them until they’re face to face. tooru isn’t bothered by it, taking the opportunity to look his fill — kaien isn’t the only one who’d missed out on a view when tooru left — and the tension pulls taut as the moment stretches like an eternity. tooru feels his breath catch.

eventually, he lifts his gaze to meet kaien’s eyes, lips quirking as he speaks with belated fascination, as if kaien’s presence had taken him by surprise. “so, fancy seeing you here.”

kaien’s laughter is a pleasant sound.

“you haven’t changed, huh?” kaien says, like it’s a conclusion rather than a hypothesis.

it’s not the observation tooru anticipated, but he grins contentedly anyway. it’s unexpected, but that’s only because tooru’s been away for so long, he thinks. being near kaien again makes him feel nostalgic, as if tooru could relive their youth just by looking at him.

“what, since the video call we had just last week?” he replies, tongue in cheek. from there, it’s natural to fall in step with kaien, to bump his shoulder against kaien’s side, and then just… stay there, lingering in his space.

their space now, tooru supposes.

the line of heat against tooru’s arm feels comfortably warm, and it’s all tooru could want and more. it’s enough — it’s everything he’d missed, being away from kaien, and he’d since learnt to find contentment in between the spaces of his greed.

so someday and another time, he’ll ask: will you come with me, back to argentina?

someday, he’ll mean: will you stay with me, no matter where we end up?

but for now, tooru pulls kaien into a hug, lips pressed against kaien’s neck in familiar reminiscence, and says: “i’m home.”

[yishuns]

@antimetathesis, prompt —

“what can i say to make you stay?” / TOOKAI this is pre timeskip ie. pre tooru goes off overseas to become mega super ultra famous star and kaien's joking around but hes also just a little bit not<3

the thing is, tooru knows it’s a joke — it has to be a joke, because kaien would never begrudge tooru his dream like this, but the hurt that lances through tooru at the thought of having to choose is all too real.

(he’s greedy, after all: he always wants more than he has; dreams too big and settles for nothing less; and everything that he can gather is never, ever, enough. something always slips away in his pursuit of more, no matter how tightly he clenches his fist to hold onto it all.)

and the thing is, he knows kaien wouldn’t go through with it, even if tooru could magic up the words to deliver his own ultimatum — but they also both know that he does mean it, a little bit. it’s the same small part of tooru that still hesitates about leaving japan, the quiet voice that begs to stay.

but the thing is, kaien’s loose with his affection, and tooru’s secure enough in it to know that he can find a future with kaien anywhere, even halfway across the world from him.

tooru looks genuinely apologetic, feels devastated that he has to leave, but some part of them had always known that this time would come.

“nothing. anything.” he answers honestly, forcing a smile. “so please, don’t ask.”

and so the time comes: an announcement calling for his flight to board rings across the pa system.

tooru draws kaien into a hug. it’ll be a while yet before he can indulge in intimacy like this again, so he holds his breath as if it can stop time from turning until finally, inevitably, his body reaches its limit. when he exhales, heat spreads over the skin of kaien’s neck, making tooru shiver in turn. then, softly, only for kaien to hear: “i’ll come back soon, ‘kay? pinky promise.”