yoitshannahblog

[yoitshannahblog]

A letter for my future self and my lover...

By: Hannah

There you are, writing this letter at this late hour….

Having to see yourself went through emotional rollercoasters for quite long, your friends, family, and I witnessed how strong you were when you got tangled up in toxic relationship.

I know you fight for what you love. You chase after the things that gives you butterflies inside your stomach. Things that makes you inspired and loved. So, if you fall in love again, promise yourself that even when things get tough, continue fighting for who and what you love as long as you are not hurting other people. Promise yourself that you will always be honest, even if that honesty could break you and your future partner. Even if the truth is too harsh, give it, so he would do the same. Promise yourself not to keep secrets in your heart, always tell your partner when you are mad, upset, or even happy. Promise yourself not to taint the love of your future partner with the things happened to you from your pasts, from words spoken by men you encountered. Do not let your old wounds be opened as well as his. Learn to set boundaries and your limitations, let your partner have his own space. Do not demand every single of his time because if he wants to spend time with you, he would do it willingly. Promise yourself that you will appreciate the life that you will have in the future and keep in mind that you cannot control everything. Support each other in every single decision you will both make. Promise to accept his flaws and imperfections and learn to value your uniqueness. Lastly, promise yourself that you will turn all your worries and anxieties to God and let Him be the center of your future relationship.

[yoitshannahblog]

I AM NOT MY TRAUMA

𝘉𝘺: 𝘏𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢𝘩

They say being traumatized about something would help you grow, become wise, and stronger. But how?

I have faced every fear in silence trying to heal from things I do not speak about. I sit in silence, pretending that everything would be alright. I find my situation a danger space – fighting and healing that caused me so much pain and almost killed me.

Yes, passing though traumatic experiences could have given us strength in many ways. It can teach us real-life lessons. It can teach us to be more aware and cautious on what is happening around us. It can teach us to set boundaries and learn to say “NO”.

BUT, we do not have to be traumatized before we become stronger. And no one deserves to feel this kind of pain. No matter where it came from, it is not in your head, but it is in your body. The moments that left scarred us, the constant fear that it might happen again, and the pain that we can feel over and over again.

Trauma will not break us if we will learn to fight. Otherwise, its effect may lock our being into a mess. It digs deep into our soul and impacts our all aspects of life. It feels like we are devastated yet trying to numb the cracks that this pain has left behind.

This happened to me. I experienced the same trauma many times (sexual assault) and it literally affected my whole being. It caused me mental and emotional breakdowns when every time I remember what happened that night. It is hard for me to pretend like I am okay and I will be okay but It never stops to haunt at the back of my mind.

BUT I AM TRYING TO FIGHT.

I’m trying to fight the scenarios in my head. I’m trying to wipe out my tears. I’m trying to believe that one day, people would not use my traumatic experience to invalidate my feelings. I’m trying to understand that they blamed me why it happened to me. However, I believe that there are different sides of every story and I am not always the way the rest of the world sees me.

Healing from trauma takes a long time. Take your time and move forward and surrender all your worries unto God. I hope that you will find the bravery to wear your vulnerabilities and your wounds like an honor badge. I hope one day, you will find the courage to remind yourself that YOUR TRAUMA IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE USE YOU TRAUMA TO JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT YOUR TRAUMA AND YOU DO NOT DESERVE THAT. PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS BATTLE.

[yoitshannahblog]

BIYAHENG LANGIT ~

Sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, marahil palaisipan na ng karamihan saating mga Pilipino ay ang kung paano aangat ang ating mga buhay at uunlad sa estado ng ating lipunan sa mga oras at panahon na ito. 

Alam naman natin kung ano ang migrasyon at ito ay pagpunta, pagdayo, pagtira o paglipat mula sa isang bansa hanggang sa isa pang bansa. Sa pananaw ng iba saatin, ito ay oportunidad para sa kanila. Maraming benepisyo ang makakamtan ang paglipat sa isang bansa o lugar. Ngunit sa kabila ng maraming maaaring maging magandang resulta nito, mayroon din namang mga kapahamakan o masasamang resulta ang puwedeng maging epekto nito. Gayunpaman, marami pa din nating mga kababayan ang nagnanais nito. Bakit nga ba? Bakit nga ba nila nais pa umalis ng bansang Pilipinas?

1. Minabuti nilang mag migrasyon dahil sa ekonomikong problema na nararanasan ng Pilipinas.

2. Karamihan sa ating mga Pilipino ay mahilig sa mga foreign na produkto.

3. Karamihan sa mga Pilipino lalo na sa mga pinay ay nakakapag-asawa ng ibang lahi kaya ito ang nagiging daan upang makalipat sila ng ibang bansa.

Bakit nga ba Biyaheng Langit? Dahil karamihan saating Pilipino ay nakakaangat sa buhay kung nakakalabas ng bansang Pilipinas. Dahil pangunahing kagustuhan ng mga Pilipino ang magkaroon sila ng maayos na buhay gayon din ang kanilang buong pamilya. 

Lingid naman sa kaalaman ng ilan, hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay masarap ang buhay ng isang Pilipino na lumipat ng ibang bansa. Ang iba nakakaranas mismo ng pananakit mula sa kanilang asawa na ibang lahi, ang iba naman ay nasasangkot sa droga, aksidente, pagkakakulong, at ang mas mabigat ay nakakaharap sa bitay.

Gayunpaman, marami pa din ang gumaganda ang buhay na mga Pilipino dahil sa kanilang pagsusumikap. Minsan, dahil nalang rin sa pagmamahal sa trabaho kaya naman gusto na din dalhin ang buong pamilya upang makasama na ang mga ito sa hirap at ginhawa. Katulad na lamang ng aking mga mahal sa buhay, halos lahat ng aking mga kamag-anak ay namumuhay na sa labas ng Pilipinas at sa iba’t ibang bansa at ang naging daan sa biyahe nila palipat ng ibang bansa ay ang kanilang mga trabaho. Ang ilan sakanila ay nakatagpo ng makakasama habang buhay sa bansang kanilang pinagtatrabahuhan kaya naman nagkaroon ng dahilan ang kanilang pagpapanatili at doon na nakabuo ng kanilang mga pamilya.

Base rito, ang ating mga mahal na Pilipino na lumipat na ng permanente sa ibang bansa kasama na din ang mga magigiting nating mga OFWs ang siyang mga nagbukas ng ibang mga bansa para maging tulay upang makilala ang Pilipinas. Makilala sa larangan ng sports, akademiko, at turismo. 

Ang kanilang mga pagod, buwis ng buhay, dugo, pawis, at sakripisyo ay hindi mawawalan ng pagpapagal sa ating bansang Pilipinas kahit pa man ay hindi na sila rito nakatira. Para saakin, ipakita pa din ng ating mga kababayan sa iba’t ibang bansa ang pagmamahal nila sa sariling atin. Huwag nawa makalimutan ang pinagmulan at kung saan nagsimula. Sabi nga ng ating Bayani na si Jose Rizal, “Ang paglisan sa tahanang sinilangan at nilakihan ay higit pa kaysa kung mawala ang kalahati ng sariling pagkatao.”