your-friend-the-portraitist

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Opinion on cannibalism? :D

“It’s a necessary evil if you ask me.” The portraitist giggles. “Survival of the fittest! I don’t partake often, myself.” He straightens his vest collar and grins at you.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Question! Opinion on cats? In particular, cats that are bipedal and very hell-bent on stealing your food?

“The little rascals are hostly creatures,” begins the painter. “so my mother and the others of our court choose to keep them roaming about like this is their outdoors— I mean, really, the place is infested.” Grimr’s voice rattles. He’s clearly at least a little bit annoyed with the subject.

“I personally don’t-“ He stops in his tracks and leans down to be nose-to-nose with you. “Did you say bipedal?” A big, uncomfortable grin stretches his skin. “Now that is something, isn’t it…”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Popping in again just to let you know I've given your studio a little cleanup to help you get your wretched life back on track!

I cleared away all that filth you call 'art' to give you a clean workspace, gave the walls a nice new lick of cadmium yellow paint to brighten the shithole up a bit, and put up a nice abstract painting of a vase of sunflowers to really tie the room together.

Enjoy, dear. Hugs and kisses for the most Hostless man in the world.

The Portraitist seems to be at a loss, blinking slowly.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Oh my.. that is a gorgeous color. They sell out pretty fast... but you're lucky. I have some left. all new, all made by hand. Come...

Come with me!

They're right in my home. You can pick as many as you'd like. Maybe get some of her favorite color too. Just to catch her heart. I would suggest some flowers as well...

Flowers that are as fragile as her kind soul.

“Oh, I like you.” Grimr seems utterly delighted by the selection. “I agree. She really is such a delicate soul. My poor Flower. We’ll be together again soon…” Grimr steps forward to pick a few for his sweet Anke, avoiding yellow like the plague.

“This is so kind of you, Miss! I just can’t wait to gift these to her.” He sighs happily.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

What's your opinion on clowns?

“I like those painted oddballs! I have some friends who are clowns. I don’t see them often, but we have good fun!” Grimr seems pleased with the memory of his so-called friends.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Perfect for what?

“Anke is perfect in general. What’s with all the questions about her, huh?” Grimr snaps at you.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Headscarfs! I have a lot of them.. What's her favorite color? what color suits her the best? I wouldn't mind giving some to you to gift to her.. free of charge!! I just wish to lend a hand to the .. holy couple.

“Oh that’s so kind of you!” Grimr sigh, a little disgruntled. “Her favorite color and the one she looks best in are different matters, my darling. She looks best in a nice wine red with white undertones.” Grimr seems to have thought about this a lot.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

How can you be so sure? She doesn’t seem the patient type to me.

“You don’t know her.” The man practically snarls before straightening up. “…she’s perfect. Of course she would wait for me.”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

*beats you w a hammer*

Grimr giggles like he’s been tickled. He looks you up and down and makes a face like one might when seeing a cute puppy.

“You need to work on your swing.”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

End my shame.

- 🐑

“Happily!” The man grabs his hunting hook. “Just for you, I’ll be sure to make this extra slow and memorable!” He licks his lips.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

It'd be best if you kept away from eating lamb or other tender meats, dear.

Far too rich and delicate for your tasteless, dry palate. Best stick to dirt and rotting meats. Would hate for you to end up taking ill and dying from being a tacky wretch.

The Portraitist’s nose twitches.

“Noted.”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Swampchildren? She must be a saint.

“Truly!” Grimr chuckles. “It has to take a saint to find any good or love worthy of those little beasts.” Grimr sighs dreamily, thinking about Anke again. “She’s perfect.”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Sound logic. I wouldn’t wait too long, though. You know how fickle a young lady’s heart can be.

“Oh, you’re right. Ever-changing are the ladies and their needs.” Grimr rolls his eyes. “But no- no, my sweet Flower would wait for me…”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

D:>

- 🐑

“Not so talkative anymore, are you…” Grimr looks smug. He taps the sheep’s nose again before standing up and staring down at it. “I really am a bit hungry, now that I think about it.”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

Tell us more about Anke.

“She likes cats and flowers… and she just loves to take walks.” Grimr grumbles something about a brother. He regains himself and taps his chin while he thinks. “She wears a very nice headscarf all the time. Oh- and she’s very kind to children. Even little swampchildren, bless her soul.”

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

But if you were meant to be, shouldn’t she take it well?

“Oh, of course, but information that important could overwhelm a sweet girl like her! Especially so soon after such a big event in her life.” Grimr shakes his head as if he’s sympathetic to the Saint’s situation.

[your-friend-the-portraitist]

You would think you scare me with that face. You don't..

... you're infact nothing but a netherspawn. A curse upon this world. I doubt your mother wanted you in the first place. Just a burden she had to carry... Your mother's nothing but a cowardly lady for letting you exist.

You and your bloodline deserve to rot.

- 🐑

“Aww.” Grimr makes a kissy face at the sheep, mocking it. “My mommy only wanted me, Mutton.” He seems to have named it that. “I doubt you even know your mother.” The artist crouches down again, this cheeks stretching painfully while he grins.

“She only had you so we could either breed you or cook you, after all.”