your-internet-bf

[your-internet-bf]

can you drain

can you drain my

can you drain my

heavy dirty balls

[your-internet-bf]

Waow depression posting is doing wonders for my numbers

[your-internet-bf]

Life so so hard

[your-internet-bf]

[your-internet-bf]

hi YouTube! today we're gonna be unboxing my boyfriend! [camera pans to a tray of surgery tools, and promptly turns to a boy. he is scared]

[your-internet-bf]

Turns out sometimes your hot friends ARE flirting with you

[your-internet-bf]

I hate the way antidepressants flatten EVERYTHING. I'm at a party with half of my friends and a large number of very cute girls and all I can think is that I'm having a kinda mid time rn. I wish I had serotonin instead of this big cock

[your-internet-bf]

how are you liking the consensual sex, age appropriate lover? 😈

[your-internet-bf]

Reblog for greater sample size.

[your-internet-bf]

So if you're anything like me, things are not going well. There are good times, some periods where things go well, and things seem to be falling in your favor, but they don't seem to last very long, do they?

I am in the worst depressive episode I've had since high school. Despite my antidepressants, this is the most intense and longest lasting mood crater I've experienced in almost a decade. But things will get better. It's hard to believe it. I didn't believe it five minutes ago and I might not believe it in another five, but I'm writing this as a reminder of my faith. I cried a little bit. Got some of the poison out.

My friends believe in me, and perhaps more importantly, in this moment, I believe in myself.

---

After writing this, I took my bike out. I've been biking around my city for about an hour and a half, thinking about things. No music. Just listening to the sounds of the city. Parties in houses on this Friday night, music blasting out of cars, the skyline view from my second favorite bridge. I haven't left my house in days. I'm remembering that I'm a living person too, with a place here. Other people do not see me and immediately cast me out as a monster. I am barely spared a glance as I ride past. This feels, oddly, like a lifeline.

I bike past my old apartment. That's where I had my first cigarette, the first place I got so drunk I threw up, the first place I lived in this city. I used to walk out that front door at 6 am to hit the gym, and I still remember the first snowfall of that year. The cracks in the pavement are wide.

There's a square with a fountain tucked away behind some old buildings. It's the first place I fell in love with this city. It's spring; the weather is warming. The snow hasn't been melted long enough for the fountain to come back alive. Not yet.

I am finally back home. The front door is opened, stepped through, shut, and locked. My shoes are removed. Blood is pumped through my body, and with it comes a cleansing, calming heat.

To paraphrase, it might take my whole life, but I'll still be right on time.

my collection

[your-internet-bf]

Dilara Findikoglu “Venus from Chaos”

[your-internet-bf]

the phrase “ vanilla in bed ” is so amusing to me because that implies the existence of different ice cream flavoured sex positions

[your-internet-bf]

Someone trying to catfish me used pics of two very different tits and when I pointed out that they were clearly not from the same girl they got mad. What is the purpose of trying to catfish me, especially since I don't show my face?

[your-internet-bf]

being fresh off having an orgasm to something unethical is like a pregnancy glow

[your-internet-bf]

You gingerly rubbed the giant bruise on the inside of your thigh. Everywhere ached. There were cuts, abrasions on your forearms where you had braced yourself against the ground. You had washed your face a thousand times since you got home, but it felt like the dirt was still there. You tried to stretch out your legs, massage some will back into your thighs, but every time your fingers got a little too high you froze.

It had been a nice, easy hike. One moment, you were watching the sunset, listening to the wind in the trees and the grass. Then there was a flash of lightning behind your eyes, pain blooming in the back of your head, and you were tasting dirt. Hands scrabbled at your waist.

"No," you muttered, dizzy.

You felt nails drag at your skin as your shorts were removed, underwear sticking with sweat.

"No, stop," you began to say, forcing out the words, as you realized you were about to be raped.

You tried to squeeze your legs together, keep me out, anything, but your body barely obeyed you. The pain in your skull was joined by another dull, blooming pain; I'd kicked your legs apart, heavy boots making heavy impact on the soft flesh of your inner thigh. "Bitch."

You whimpered as my forearms gathered underneath your waist, hoisting your ass up into the air, and with only a little spit, I ram myself inside you.

It's big. Uncomfortably big. With no prep, it's painful, too. You tried to fight, to flee, to writhe out of my grasp, but it wasn't happening. One hand grabbed your hair from behind, roughly, holding your face down in the dirt. You try to turn your head, but all you get is a glimpse of a black mask over my face, bared teeth and dark, dark eyes, before I force you back down. My hand slips from your hair to the back of your neck, iron fingers clamping you down.

You are prey, and you're being devoured.

It's rough, and not in the fun way you've played at. Tears flow down your eyes, mixing in with the soil. You give up and just wait for it to pass, for this thing inside you to stop thrusting, stop battering your insides, to stop stretching you like this. Your body betrays you, sending signals of pleasure, waves of it, up your spine.

Minutes pass this way as you sob, and beg me to stop. The pleasure builds, and builds, and against all hope you feel yourself orgasm, half moaning, half crying out. My grip on your neck gets tighter. My lips, then teeth, find your shoulder, and as I bite down you know I'm getting mercifully close.

"Please, please..."

But I cum anyway, shooting inside you, and it feels like I'm trying to push through to your throat, filling you, flooding you, and finally, slowly, I unsheathe myself from you and let you drop bodily to the earth. I remove my hand from your neck, and with both hands I spread your ass, examining your ruined hole. You hear the click of a camera, and shame you didn't know you had left fills you too.

Wordlessly, I leave.

Back in the present, you unfreeze. Your fingers keep climbing your leg, past the thigh, to find that you are soaking fucking wet. This is so wrong. This is so so so wrong. But you remember the feeling of my hand on your neck and can't help but feel yourself.

You turn over in your bed and hesitantly raise your ass in the air, remembering the powerful arm that held up under your waist while you were being raped. It had never been so easy to make yourself cum as it is right now, and, crying softly, moaning softly, remembering the feeling of me, the feeling of the seed of your rapist dwelling inside you, you bring yourself to a shuddering, trembling orgasm.

This was so fucking wrong.

You should have told someone back at the park. You have to call the cops. You have to tell someone. You have to... You have to feel that again. Helpless, weak, completely surrendered. Impaled on the ravenous, cruelly hard cock that has already rendered everything else you've felt inadequate.

The next day, when you head back to the park, you don't bring mace, or a taser. You don't even bring your underwear. Every rustle in the trees startled you, every sway in the grass might be where I'm hiding. You feel wetness run down your thigh as you imagine me jumping out at any moment. And then, finally: you whip your head around by chance, feeling that something was off, and there I stand. Masked, again, in jeans that do little to conceal the weapon I carry, in a plain white shirt. You run, but it's halfhearted. Your heart pounds in your chest anyway. Even before I catch you, you've dropped face down on the earth, pulled down your shorts for me. When you say "please" now, it means something very different than it did yesterday.

You peer back over your shoulder fearfully. There's a mean smirk on my lips as I stare back down at you.

"Please," you whisper.

I nudge your leg with my boot. "Silly little cunt came back for more, huh?" I unzip my jeans and pull them down around my knees, cock swinging in the air - Christ, that thing has to be the size of your forearm. I stroke it a few times before kneeling behind you. My hand strokes up your back, over the bite mark I left in your shoulder, before clenching my fist in your hair, turning your gaze back to the dirt. You gasp, and a flush runs through your pussy, already soaking wet and eager for me.

I lean over you, grinding your skull into the ground painfully. "Don't forget, you asked for this, you fucking slut."

You thought you were prepared for it, but your brain still short-circuits when I slam myself home, going fuzzy and slightly light at the pain of all that weight slamming into your cervix, wrenching past your walls, tearing you open.

It became apparent that I had been holding back yesterday as I covered you with bites. Your neck, your shoulders, your arms, your upper back. Sharp teeth digging into your soft skin. The pain brought you closer and closer to pleasure, and as you came, legs shaking, squeezing together around me, I pulled out unsatisfyingly.

You managed a single, teary "what?" before I thrust myself into your asshole, slick with your juices and my spit, and you almost pass out from the pain. The only intelligible sound you make is a single, sputtering, "ffffuck!" I push further in, deeper, deeper, ruining you, and you're distantly aware that there's two stinging handprints on your ass. My hand leaves your hair, and I grip your waist with both, fingers digging into you. Your own hands scrabble at the dirt, searching for any bracing purchase, anything to help you withstand; but despite the pain, you've never felt this horribly, horribly aroused.

You are prey, I am a predator, and this is the way it's supposed to be. Another orgasm rocks your body, arching your spine involuntarily. You close your eyes and allow yourself to be subjugated by the shameful pleasure and the blissful pain.

[your-internet-bf]

Sometimes I feel like desire is a sickness and the buddhists might be right about quitting lust or whatever.

[your-internet-bf]

I'm kinda blasted right now and I don't feel slutty at all. I wrapped back around from slut weed to chastity weed #neversex #abstinence