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Questionable Evacuation
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That’s all I want. Just you and me. Always.
Lauren Oliver, Delirium
(via books-n-quotes)
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Which of my feelings are real? Which of the me’s is me?
Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness (via books-n-quotes)
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At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via books-n-quotes)
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The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via books-n-quotes)
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Waking up alone
If you pay close attention to my page you will see that I destroyed my marriage. I got lonely, felt ugly, and nothing that the man who loved me the most could say was going to help with that. I stepped out of the real world packed up all my shit and moved into a vrtual world. Where people said Good Morning beautiful and made me feel like I was in fact pretty. They couldn't see that I have stretch marks all over my body from babies and saggy boobs and that the whole world around me is a disaster because I can barely keep up with my 3 kids so sometimes I just give up. They didn't know that I used to be a very bad compulsive gambler and ruined mine and my families lives time and time again. They saw nothing but the pretty picture I created for them. I then thought I didn't even need the real life. So I threw that shit in the trash. I told my husband I wouldn't choose him over anything. He begged me to change my mind. HE waited patiently for me too and I continued to hole up in Lalaland. I wanted for him to bring me out. I wanted him to save me as he always has. To be the real person who new all the bad shit and still thought I was beautiful. Guess what. He was... The one man who would go to hell with a bucket of water and fight fire for me I was pushing away for Fake people. That all said the right thing because I couldn't see what their reality was either. I was so busy trying to show him I could be independent and being a mom and keeping my virtual circle company that before I knew it I had lost him. My number 1 fan was gone. How did he tell me he was gone? He sent me a picture of a beautiful girl with the quote “this is what I wake up to 3 miles from you”. I haven't slept over 2 hours at a time since that day. It brought me out of my dream world real quick.. Why the fuck was I throwing 15 years down the drain? Why didn't I try harder? Why didn't I love him better? and how the fuck do I fix this? So I asked him to come home and he did. My whole broken heart felt whole again for a minute. No one no where was going to interfere with this moment. My kids were happy their daddy was here. I finally wasn't alone. I have a chance I thought to get right with him. And never take for granted what I had again. I hugged him I made love to him and then I went to sleep and I woke up a few hours later to my husband being gone. Maybe he pitied me. Maybe he needed to make sure the new girl was right for him. Maybe he just wanted to laugh at me. But their is no laughter here. 2.5 hours of tears thus far and I am begging you if your choosing people who are not real over the biggest MVP on your team. Think again. I am dead inside.
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“We’ve known each other forever- I can hardly remember not knowing you. It’s hard to remember the days before you. I don’t even know if there were any.”
— David Guterson / Snow Falling on Cedars
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“Don’t you know better? Hearts are breakable. And I think even when you heal, you’re never what you were before.”
— Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels
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“Torment yourself as little as possible, then you’ll torment me less.”
— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena
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If you think fixing something that you broke comes from breaking it over and over again. Your mistaken.
Shannon
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My heart hurts for reasons unknown to even myself. So what makes you think you can fix it?
Shannon
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