youshouldnthomeschool

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Enrichment vs. Education

One sign of an inadequate Homeschool Parent (HP) is the confusion between enrichment and education.

In the rosy visions of a Potential Homeschool Parent (PHP), trips to zoos and museums and baking and gardening figure largely. Why is that? Because they're easy. They're easy!

They're easy not because they're effortless - any parent who's checked to see if a child has gone to the bathroom and found both their shoes already before loading the car with snacks and sunscreen knows better. They're easy because they don't really go anywhere. They're self - contained activities, and stand alone like a rerun of a great Monster - of - the - Week episode of The X-Files. No greater context is required, though it can be incorporated if desired.

In short, it's enrichment. Enrichment is not the same as education. Enrichment is an enhancement of a child's experiences. You can't enhance, however, what doesn't exist. Seeing a dinosaur museum is great fun. That's a family trip, and my, what good fun and memories the family will have. Seeing a dinosaur museum following two weeks of study of environmental science - perhaps of geological and sedimentary layers, and fossil records - that's enrichment.

You'll notice neither of those things is the actual education, although they enhance it and your child will likely learn a thing or two.

Basic rule of thumb: if you're already providing it, it's not an education. If you make cookies with your child sometimes, you're a good parent but it isn't homeschooling. If you go to the zoo sometimes, you're a good parent but it isn't homeschooling. If you play in a frisbee golf league together, you're a good parent but it isn't homeschooling. You can not call ordinary activities of typical family life homeschooling and expect it to answer. It's totally inadequate.

If you're bragging to your church, friends, or an online community that your child, for instance, is getting their hands dirty digging in the garden while other kids sit at a desk and don't get "real world" skills, I'd ask you to reflect on this: there's really no rationale why that isn't ordinary parenting and replaces an actual education. There's nothing stopping a child coming home from class and gardening, is there? It's a hobby enjoyed by millions, and a basic precept of that hobby is understanding how the soil and environment nutures the plants, the cycle of growth, etc. Your child gains nothing from this hobby if it isn't supplementing an actual education as a useful skill to learn and enjoy; it becomes merely manual labor.

I really, really doubt any HP or PHP is applauding the education other parents give their children when cooking a pot of spaghetti with them for dinner after school. I seriously don't believe any HP or PHP is proud of the education other parents provide their children for showing them how to change the oil in the family car. And it's because it's expected; that's what good parents already do (or often try to do, circumstances depending). Slapping a homeschooling label on every activity of daily life doesn't replace a real education, but it's what HP and PHP try so very often to do.

If you're a HP or PHP, do you know the difference between education and enrichment? Can you seriously provide both?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

The Homeschool "Accent"

Ah, the old homeschool "accent." Stop me if you're familiar with this one, right?

Just kidding. Moving on. I was reminded of this yesterday when I heard a homeschooled child of 6 and 1/2 attempt to converse with a neighbor. Every single time the boy made a remark, there was a pregnant pause. You could see the neighbor's face furrow as he tried to make sense of what he heard, and after another pause the boy's mother repeated his remark and the neighbor would reply to him. She literally interpreted the conversation.

Now, anybody who's spent any amount of time around very young children knows there's a certain amount of babble and gibberish as they develop their speaking ability. For a time, typically only parents or primary caregivers "understand" their speech due to their familiarity of and constant exposure to the child. I've done many a smile and nod to a perfectly unintelligible string of sounds issuing from a child, with a cheerful, "Really?" or "Wow!" thrown in. The period comes to a natural end, however, and doesn't last long. Certainly it would end by the time a child attained the age of 6 and 1/2.

With many homeschooled children, that simply doesn't hold true. (This is discounting hearing problems or speech impediments, which easily fly under the radar and compound the problem.) Lack of exposure to speech, lack of exposure to rich speech (which is different), lack of exposure to different speakers, lack of exposure of people to speak to, and - Rally, homeschoolers! - the exposure to words in one's reading which one isn't taught to pronounce. Finally, if there is another person in the home who does happen to have atypical speech - an elderly member struggling to speak around dentures, or speak again following a stroke, a child who isn't able to pronounce his "R" and can only tell you, "It's waining outside," or has a lisp, a member with a foreign accent - it becomes incorporated into the homeschool child's speech, too.

All of these are a perfect storm of less than benign influences, and contribute to the homeschool "accent" that often singles out a homeschooler in later life. It can be very embarrassing for a formerly homeschooled adult, particularly if they're able to join the ranks of the more typically educated later on.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Dress for Success

I was watching a pair of homeschool children play yesterday, and even though I already knew they were homeschooled, I realized even if I hadn't known, I could *tell*. The usual visual clues were present - pants outgrown enough to cover the legs, but not the ankles, hovering above a justifiable length for replacing them. Ditto, shirts and wrists. Dirty enough to need a bath, but not dirty enough to be seen or smelled a couple of feet back.

Hair is a good indicator, always. The slightly imperfect bangs and trim on the girl and slightly uneven buzz cut on the boy - both a good home haircut, but obviously not even a $10 Super Cuts visit. Neither head saw a hair brush that morning - it was already afternoon - but there's a dangling, loose pony tail or braid on the girl indicating somebody attended to it in the not - so - distant past.

When you're a homeschooled child, standards of appearance tend to slip fast. Parents aren't as quick to maintain the standard usually met at school, somehow. The outgrown clothes are always kept a little longer, the grooming never as urgent. Fingernails, for instance. Kids pick up on this, of course. The sentiment seems to be: Who's going to see it / them, anyway?

Apart from anything else related to this issue, it does contribute to the isolation of homeschooled kids. The overly casual, the lax, care of their appearance and hygience isn't really desirable. Other children and parents notice it, and can be very off put by it. It's definitely another mark of "otherness." And certainly the kids themselves notice their parents don't value how they're presenting them to the world, which is a real downer. (And that's not even addressing fundamentalist or religious homeschool families, who apply different standards of dress.)

If you were a homeschooled child, did you find your parents overlooked or ignored your appearance in the absence of any outside influence?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Mitigating Harm

if you are determined to homeschool, or are currently homeschooling, I will share with you one method of mitigating harm, and that is a diversity of instruction.

By diversity, I simply mean you ought not to be teaching every subject to your child and your child ought not to be repeating the same subjects. For instance, most public schools do not introduce elective subjects until freshman year. A Homeschooling Parent (HP) should begin doing so immediately. The elective class should be one of your child's choosing, though it might be helpful to give them a short list if they're undecided or unfamiliar with the concept. (i.e. Robotics, Egyptology, French, Paleontology, etc.) Keep in mind 2 things with electives: First, they should last a general semester - that is, fall to Christmas, or Christmas to summer - and then change. Second, you may have to scale down an existing high school or college curriculum to meet your learner if they've picked a subject not often offered to a child his or her age.

Diversity of instructors is easily achieved if you know where to look. I was able to pluck an honors student in his senior year from a nearby college town to teach my student in their mutual area of interest for a semester. I have incorporated live classes with licensed teachers from Outschool on a recurring, weekly basis in the past. Bringing in experienced music or art teachers is easy, even for a novice. It's honestly easier than ever in this day and age to find people with solid, educational credentials and affordable, reasonable compensation rates.

I never brought these instructors in because I was incapable of teaching my child. I was. But it was my responsibility to provide the variety of interaction and instruction she needed and her peers were receiving. By limiting myself to an average of 3 subjects per semester, I could confine my hands on involvement where I thought it would have the best effect. The enthusiasm, passion, and temperaments of other instructors could then be brought to bear where their effect would be greatest, as well. My attempts at teaching History to my child, for instance, bored my child to tears. They did not yield the same results as a personal tutor I found who had a talent for bringing the strangest events of the past to light and incorporating interesting facts to grab the attention of any child, especially when they found they had free reign to structure their class time in any fashion they liked. (This is crucial, by the way, for obvious reasons. )

It is imperative as a PHP or a HP you mitigate harm to your child, and diversity in instruction is a best practice whether you knew it or not. After all, you wouldn't hire the same person to fix your plumbing as you would your roof, would you?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

You're Not Special

If you've been reading this blog and are a Potential Homeschool Parent (PHP), I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest you think this will never be you. After all, that's why you're reading things like this, isn't it? So you'll never fall into the pits and pratfalls the rest of us did? So you can avoid the common mistakes that plague the homeschool community, right?

It's not you, babe. I can tell you right now: you will not be the one to thread the needle.

Do you know I've never met a single person who told me they were an irresponsible gun owner? I know irresponsible gun owners exist. I know terrible and preventable accidents occur. But I don't know a single person who has said, "Yes, that's me. I probably shouldn't have a gun around." Keep in mind I have been acquainted with a man who set down a loaded weapon on a kitchen counter after target practice and then allowed a toddler in the room for juice. He was not as horrified as I was, nor did he think he was a person who ought not to own a gun. He simply "forgot."

Do you know I've never met a single person who told me they were an abusive pit bull owner? I know they exist, and animal abuse is awful. But I do hear pit bull owners say, "It's all in how you raise them! Pitties are really sweethearts; those ones you see in the news were mistreated by their owners." It's the funniest thing, though - when those owners appear on the news, too, they say the exact same thing, don't they?

You're not special. You're another person's irresponsible gun owner who's "perfectly safe," or aggressive dog who "wouldn't hurt a fly" until someone needs stitches. You should not do this. Be the first to admit it and be a hero for your child in all the ways you are able to. You've got a lot to give, but it isn't this.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Titanic, Meet Iceberg

There is a situation when a Potential Homeschooling Parent (PHP) shouldn't even play with the notion of homeschooling, and I'm going to say it plainly: when there is a mentally ill parent in the home.

Even if the mental illness is being managed or treated, it's not a good idea to engage in homeschooling. Even if the mental illness is present in the non-PHP (for example, a spouse who works outside the home) it's not a good idea.

Homeschooling demands a person in top form. It just does. It's no sinecure. It's a huge responsibility. It can lead an otherwise healthy person to develop anxiety or depression. It can cause a person with a mental illness to relapse or develop worsening symptoms, which the homeschooled child will be the first to experience. A Homeschool Parent (HP) may not even realize they've begun to spiral until their homeschooled child is already harmed.

For example, I know a homeschooling family with a parent who is a hoarder and a parent who is an enabler. Both parents deny the problem, but an outsider would likely gauge their home at a Level 3 hoard. (It's also why so few outsiders are admitted and their curtains are always, always drawn. Depressingly, sunlight enters as rarely as guests do.)

The homeschooled children do a little school work several days a week at the end of a dining room table that's never been fully cleared in my memory. If they wanted to study in their bedrooms, they're out of luck; they're cluttered with the belongings of their parents. No other room in the formerly spacious house is available as a school room or study area, either. You can imagine what being a child is like in that home. Honestly, it's grim.

When I was a homeschooled child, my HP submitted their mental illness to meditation and "medical" marijuana. There are several scenes that live in my memory as proof of the inadequacy of these methods. Prayer is a good thing, but also not a treatment for mental illness in lieu of anything else, and PHPs must remember that.

The mental illness of a family member dramatically affects children - How could it not? - and they ought to be protected from it. But if your home is unpleasant, and you homeschool, school is unpleasant, too. A child enrolled in a public or private school can escape, if necessary, at least several hours a day and take pleasure in being away at least and in their studies at most. A homeschooled child is denied both of these things, and a mentally ill HP is the worst of all possible worlds.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

A Pulcinella Secret

Homeschooling families who are performing poorly are typically engaging in a Pulcinella secret. Everybody in the family knows what's going on, they're just not sharing.

If you're a Potential Homeschool Parent (PHP), you'll find this out quickly; if you're a current Homeschool Parent (HP) I'd readily bet $100 and my left hand you've already engaged in this behavior. If you're a child who's been homeschooled, this post will make you laugh and laugh, because of course it will.

Nobody wants to admit the Emperor is naked, and a HP is the Emperor. After all, when homeschooling goes wrong, there's nobody left to look to but the HP. It can't be society, or the school system, or peers, can it? And it can't be the child, because it would mean the HP is failing as a parent to raise a child properly able, ready, and willing to learn for them as their student.

A HP is quick to offer white lies and half truths and outright fabrications to keep up the pretense that all is right with the world. And unfortunately, they often compel their homeschooled child to participate in this illusion to outsiders. "We're doing great in math! Ayden is such an advanced student I can't keep up with him anymore, so he's studying online now." Ayden is nodding along, but you and I (and Ayden) know how frustrated you became when you struggled to teach multiplying and dividing fractions and simply created a log in for Khan Academy and walked away. "Brayden is so creative, I'm looking into art classes he can join!" Brayden smiles and says, Yes, indeed, he loves art. But you and I and Brayden know you've been "looking into" art classes for months and it isn't actually going to happen - sure sounds good, though, doesn't it? "People say homeschoolers are lonely, but Cayden has lots of friends!" Cayden doesn't contradict you, but, boy, he thinks, he sure used to. He left them behind at public school and you're in no particular rush to drive him to his friend's homes on weekends. They've been drifting away, and he hasn't seen his friends in months now. (You're not worried, though, because you go to that co-op group once a month and he can hang out with the neighborhood kids, right?)

Here's the thing, PHP and HP. Ayden, Brayden, and Cayden are silent for now. It's no secret you hold the keys to the kingdom and any homeschooled child knows they have to go along. But they don't stay children, and if you're plastering over all the cracks in the walls instead of fixing the foundation your house is going to come crumbling down before you know it. Many a HP has been embarrassed by an adult child who refuses to play along anymore and starts to share their real experiences - and your shortcomings. Eventually the Emperor is forced to see himself as he really is, and nobody's keeping any secrets at all.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

If Someone Offers You A Breath Mint, You Should Probably Take It.

If you are a Potential Homeschool Parent (PHP) or a current Homeschool Parent (HP) you'll have people asking you questions about your decision. If you're an old hand, you probably warn newbies with a laugh about this.

Yes, people will ask and people will talk about it and you. There's not usually a lot of harm in it; people are social animals and talk about anything, everything, and nothing. Sometimes we join in, sometimes we tune out.

But you, PHP / HP, need to keep your listening ears on, and I'll tell you why. When you decide to homeschool and contract your circle - it is a contraction - it behooves you to be mindful of any sign posts you've gone astray.

Grandparents gently mentioning your child seems lonely are trying to tell you the isolation is too much. Neighbors gradually inviting your child over less often are giving you a clue your child is not interacting well with peers anymore. A friend expressing his or her concern your child often seems quiet and tired lately could be trying to convey this is a bad choice and affecting your child's mental health, not merely making an observation. Do you get where this going?

Homeschooled children can develop maladaptive behaviors quickly, and the people soonest to notice will be those most worried about hurting your feelings or offending your pride. They know they walk a fine line; typically they're trying to advocate for a child in as mild a manner they can. You see, people know if you can cut a child off from school and call it in their best interest, you can cut off a person, too.

If you're a PHP or HP, you need to listen for the subtext and be sensitive to friends and family members sharing their opinions. In a homeschool echo chamber, those might be the only sign posts you get until it's too late.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Conflict Resolution

What is that subject your child loathes the most? We've all got one; what's theirs? Math? History? Is it Language Arts, with all those damn predicates?

You need to know ahead of time what kind of cudgel - sorry, conflict resolution - you'll be using when those dark days of leading the horse to water and making it drink occur.

It's no good to say you'll make them do it; the question is, how? Imagine, if you will, an ordinary elementary age child who loathes grammar exercises and you're attempting to teach subject verb agreement to. He or she doesn't want to learn; they're trying to distract you with nonsense questions and drumming their feet against the chair. Next level - tears and tantrums, the "I don't want to!" and "This is stupid!" Levelling up again - Screaming and yelling, and, yes, throwing.

Kids don't (well, by and large) do this in school, but they'll often do this in home school. Do you know why? Because they can! You're the "safe" figure as much as the "authority" figure. You're at a disadvantage with these dual roles when it comes to a teaching position, and don't you forget it.

So, what do you do? Do you push through? What does that look like? Insisting this lesson is done at the expense of getting the rest of the day's work done? Extending your school hours indefinitely that day? Repeating this particular lesson ad nauseam? How far behind will that put your student in this subject, and how will he or she catch up? You're going to be as frustrated and hapless as your offspring.

(A quick word in your ear: if you find yourself revoking ordinary privileges as a result of a bad school day, you're far, far off course.)

This day comes as sure as the sun will rise, and it'll come a dozen more. When it does, will your child lose out at the expense of your student, or vice versa?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

OMG

When I started this blog a week ago, it was because earlier that evening a parent brought their child, "Hudson," to a playdate with my child, "Judson," stayed to chat, and mentioned the idea of withdrawing Hudson from school to homeschool.

Of course I asked why. Of course I did.

It was too difficult, Hudson's parent told me, to get Hudson to school on time every morning. Though their full - time job is as Hudson's parent, with no other children or responsibilites outside the home, it was too difficult, as a "night person," to get him to class in a timely fashion. Lately, Hudson's teacher had expressed frustration Hudson was missing math class every time he arrived to school late. A perfectly natural concern; you can't teach a student who isn't there, can you?

Hudson's parent informed me they'd told the teacher she should fit in the math Hudson missed during the remainder of the day.

(Sigh. That poor teacher.)

Frankly, I was appalled. However, I know from experience this is just the beginning. I was also withdrawn from school for a parent's convenience, and a HP's convenience is a bar that lowers every passing year. I distinctly remember my HP telling me them turning on a baseball game they wanted to see on TV "counted" as homeschooling - Hey, physical education! - but the moment that sentence came out of their mouth... well, even as a child, I knew then and there what the real game was.

Cross your fingers for Hudson, y'all. Maybe he'll get luckier than I did.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Second Verse, Same As The First

If there's anything worse than a homeschool parent (HP), it's a second generation HP parent.

If you know a second generation HP, or if you yourself are a second generation HP, only imaginary dragons are being slayed. A second generation HP has never attended school themselves, and have no first hand experience or knowledge; it's basically playing a classic game of "Telephone" at best. At best.

The HP on my street I mentioned earlier is second generation; HP was homeschooled by their mother, who graduated in the 70's. Allow me to give one specific instance of why this is relevant: teeth.

There was a fluoride "panic" in the 70's, when many people were frightened of using fluoride or having it added to the water. This occurred during our HP mother's high school years. Her child, the HP of today I know and have introduced to you, has two children with teeth so rotten they both required general anesthesia and multiple teeth capped over several dentist visits before their seventh birthdays. HP will not be convinced fluoride is safe, and their children are still paying the price as their teeth continue to deteriorate to this day. No evidence to the contrary - their own dentists, oral surgeons, research, common sense (or even the ability to recognize no other children of HP's acquaintance have extensive dental problems of this nature) - matters; that's what HP was taught. HP knows they are right, and HP is protecting their children from fluoride.

That is one instance. One. In one family. One.

If you are a second generation HP, you don't even know where your own blind spots are. Your shining convictions are merely the glare of tin foil hats to the rest of us.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Been There

A person on my street walks their dog several times a day. Every other hour, you can see them take their pet for a stroll.

Why does this bother me?

It's because they have two homeschooled children in their home who, if they've joined them on any of these walks, must have been concealed under an invisibility cloak. Another neighbor recently commented to my spouse how rarely they're seen. It's true they're hardly ever outside, generally making a brief once a week appearance in their yard and another walking from door to car for church. As a child, I wasn't permitted outdoors - including our own yard - unless a parent was present at all times, so I have a strong fellow feeling for these children. (Guess how often a parent who sets that type of rule wants to go outside? Hint: very little.) Homeschooled children only have what their HP give.

Perhaps you're not this type, and you'd never restrict your children in this fashion. But you'll see many kinds of distasteful practices in the homeschooling community you're about to join, from bargain basement educational neglect to outright abuse. In many cases, you'll be helpless. It's not illegal to keep children indoors for days at a time. It's not illegal to poorly educate them. It's not illegal to - well, the list is as long as my arm.

What's your plan when you see children being harmed? How much can you see before you feel compelled to act? What will you do if you find you can't help at all?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Better Be Tough

One thing I find Potential Homeschooling Parents (PHP) rarely consider is they'll be the ones introducing their child to every awful branch on the tree of knowledge.

Think about this: You'll explain the death of Anne Frank and photographs of concentration camps. You'll be playing Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit" in the context of lynchings and Reconstruction era / Jim Crow policies. You'll lead the discussion of current neo - Nazi activity in the world. You'll have to lead them through child labor laws and slavery, and Iqbal Masih and Malala Yousafzai. It will hurt their hearts, but it can't be allowed to crush their spirits. Is that a line you can walk?

PHP, have you heard of the 5 C's of history? In short: change over time, causality, context, complexity, and contingency. Properly trained teachers have a plan and method when introducing these heavy topics. Do you?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Is The Boogeyman In The Room With Us Right Now?

An acquaintance of mine is a Homeschooling Parent (HP). I asked, as one does, what made HP and HP's spouse decide to homeschool their two children.

Sex, baby, sex.

HP objected to the sex education offered in the local schools (both private / religious and public) and didn't want to expose the children to it. Their youth and innocence must be protected, after all.

Well, I agree youth and innocence ought to be protected, but this surprised me a great deal since the extent of the sex education offered was merely teaching children the areas of their bodies covered by a swimsuit were private, and should only be exposed to their doctors and parents in the proper setting. It also reminded children they could talk to adults (teachers, pastors, police officers, etc.) if somebody did not respect their private areas.

Nothing else was taught. There wasn't a whisper of sexual activity, or even biology. I asked HP why they objected to that, and do you know what?

HP had no idea that was what was taught. HP had never asked. HP had never looked any further in the matter. HP only knew schools taught "sex education" and assumed sex education is bad.

If you are a HP, or a Potential Homeschooling Parent (PHP), keep this story in mind. Don't get caught up in catch phrases, buzz words, and prejudices. There's a reason a flash light vanquishes the monster in the closet.

[youshouldnthomeschool]

Are You Lost Without a Compass?

How will you know, as a Potential Homeschool Parent (PHP), if you're staying on track? I address this question to the PHP among us, as a currently Homeschooling Parent (HP) usually doesn't know. Isn't that amazing? (For instance, I currently have a HP neighbor with a child who was excited to learn the letters of the alphabet. They were both unaware other public school children his age had already fully mastered this, engaged in phonics, and were practicing sight words. Another example of a child behind before they started and oblivious parents.)

How will you know if your student is below average, average, or above average in his or her studies? More importantly, how will you know if your pace of study is falling behind? If you're working slowly, either because your student is struggling or you are, how do you plan to catch up if you can even recognize the problem?

One of the most common problems I see among HPs is the assertion they are academically ahead of the curve when in truth they've no idea their child isn't anywhere he or she needs to be, and in fact are actually behind their cohorts. This is worrisome.

If you've ever shopped for a pair of women's jeans, you know perfectly well anybody can slap a number on the tag and call it what they like. Vanity sizing is the despair of a shopper. Vanity grading can be the downfall of your student if you're not careful.

I'm going to indulge myself with a quote from one of my favorite novels, Middlemarch, a study in a protagonist's idealism crashing head-first into real life. A neighbor tells our protagonist, "You will certainly go mad in that house alone, my dear." She continues: "We have all got to exert ourselves a little to keep sane, and call things by the same names as other people call them by. Sitting alone... you may fancy yourself ruling the weather; you must get a few people round you who wouldn't believe you if you told them. That is a good lowering medicine.”

In one very important sense, it's no good comparing your student to - well, frankly, your student. What are other children studying? What level are they at? How quickly are they mastering the material? What method are you testing your student by? How frequently?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

One of The Things You're Taking Away

Have you ever attended a Superbowl party? Worn your team's jersey, gathered with your friends, had the nachos and pizza, and yelled at the TV? What about opening night for a movie you've been dying to see? The newest Marvel superhero flick, the final Harry Potter or Star Wars release? How many people showed up in some kind of costume? How many groans and cheers at the screen did you hear? How many did you make?

Nothing's stopping you from watching a football game at home, or renting a movie on Redbox. But the shared experience is just different, isn't it? It enhances the experience, adds to it.

That is what school does. Nobody is pretending every school day is an exciting, long awaited event. Everybody's had a case of the Mondays, we all know what it's like to slog through things we don't like. But the shared experience is what makes it more.

Perhaps you can teach a child to read, and you can certainly buy them a slice of pizza when they do well. But you can't replicate the experience of an entire class of first graders egging each other on and helping each other out to reach a goal for a class pizza party.

Study groups in or out of school are arguably the lamest kind of fun - the equations or questions are tough, but your student and his or her friends are helping each other out, listening to music, cracking jokes, and getting it done. It's a mutual experience for mutual benefit and forms a bond. (Your homeschooled student only has you, and God help him or her if you're not the sharpest pencil in the particular area of study they're struggling in; you're their first and last recourse.)

Before you condemn your student to study solo, consider how much simple human interaction enhances the plainest moments of our daily lives and gives joy to the best ones. Why would you deprive a child of the camaraderie of peers who are also learning? What is the point? What purpose does it serve?

[youshouldnthomeschool]

"We've tried nothing, and we're all out of ideas!"

Before you decide to homeschool, let me ask you this: What have you done so far?

If your child hasn't started any form of schooling yet, what have you done to prepare them for any kind of schooling? Do you read to them 20 minutes a day, without fail? Do you make a point to run a set of flashcards with them every evening, no matter what? ("When I'm not tired!" doesn't count.) Have you engaged in any kind of consistent, deliberate learning activity? And, hey, now, don't come at me with Leapfrogs or edutainment tablet games - I do mean YOU, personally, one on one with your child.

If your child is already in school and you're bemoaning the lack of educational rigor, or feel your child is falling behind / not challenged enough - what have you done? I'll make the generous assumption you already have a cordial, mutually respectful working relationship with school staff and have exhausted all options there. How are you currently supplementing at home? What are you already providing to meet the need you've identified? There's a reason we put training wheels on a bicycle, after all. If you have yet to personally involve yourself in a frequent, sustained activity for your child's educational benefit above and beyond that required by law, you haven't even dipped your toe in the water as a Potential Homeschooling Parent (PHP). Trust me, you're not ready to swim.

An occasional family hike (while nice) isn't proof you can provide a physical education and singing the alphabet song (also good) doesn't mean you have the skill set to teach a child to read. You must be able to provide and transmit a curated set of actual skills your student can rely on to navigate the world. Start with one. Attempt to augment your student's life before you destroy it.