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the female killer in hollywood: a mini essay by silas denver melvin

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Full Moon in April by astrofalls

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Venus dress, 1949 by Christian Dior; gray silk net embroidered with feather-shaped opalescent sequins, rhinestones, simulated pearls, and paillettes.

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“Aspect of the ‘Murus Rectus’ (the ‘Straight Range’) of the moon.” A day in the moon. 1913. 

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𝐍𝐇𝐊 | 𝐙𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐲𝐮𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐆𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐙𝐈𝐏! 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐢 𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲

Actress and Singer Zhang Yingyue makes a rare appliance on TV to discuss the passing of BUCK-TICK's vocalist Sakurai Atsushi and his life as a musician in celebration of what would've been his 58th birthday.

For this episode, Yamashita Kenjiro interviews Zhang in ZIP's studio, alongside them visiting Hua Entertainment's newest office in Tokyo to go through the archives and share behind the scenes work with Sakurai.

During the interview, Zhang wore an all black velvet dress, with the same MIKIMOTO pearl necklace Sakurai wore in his photoshoot for GQ Japan, where she helped styled him. At the time of this photoshoot, Zhang was already appointed as creative director and asked by BUCK-TICK's team to style Sakurai.

"That was the one of the last few time we worked together," Zhang states when asked about the necklace, "The final time we worked was when he asked me to design their last album's cover."

Zhang reflects back at the time she and Sakurai first met in 2011, when her film Buddha Mountain was chosen to screen at Tokyo Film Festival, where she won the best actress award.

"We met through mutual friends and we kept contact until I returned to music in 2018."

At the time, Zhang was beginning her career as an international actress rather than a domestic performer in China. Her friend who's a musician happened to be friends with a few Japanese artists and through a visit at venue where BUCK-TICK performed, is where Zhang and Sakura had their encounter.

Although worlds apart, the two continued to talk and Sakurai offered support when Zhang chose to return to making music.

In 2020, Zhang and Sakurai released two singles together, titled Eve/Spring. The EP charted on Billboard Japan's Top 3 stops for March and was featured in Zhang's concerts. The two would interact again by Zhang appearing on Sakurai's radio show in October to discuss music, a month after she announced the birth of her twins.

"Going on his radio show was the best thing to do at the time," Zhang recalls, "I wanted to ease my way back to the public, but with someone I trusted."

Zhang also shared with Yamashita that Sakurai visited her home a few days after the radio show to meet the newest additions to her family. He has also been present at special events like her and her children's birthdays.

In 2023, Zhang collaborated with BUCK-TICK to design their album cover for IZORA. it would be the last time Zhang and Sakurai would collaborate together.

"It still feels surreal," she says, while looking somber staring at the album cover, "There was an idea B-T wanted me to convey and I helped in that aspect. There's now a whole new meaning to it."

The album cover features doves flying in an infinite, and a spiraling staircase with a watery reflection of the moon at the end. Many fans now interpret the cover as Sakurai's presence forever on this earth, even after death.

Zhang returned to collaborate on BUCK-TICK's Live DVD cover, which matches with IZORA's cover. This cover features the moon phase which Sakurai has passed on.

"I look back at the time I had with him as a friend with a lot of fondness, "Zhang says, "There's not a lot of people in the industry I respect, and he was one of the few I saw as a friend and someone to rely on. I have nothing but good memories of him."

When asked about dating rumors or spectulation of Sakurai's daughter signing under Zhang's Entertainment company by other guests on ZIP, she dismissed them and she would rather focus on what's important than the gossip.

Although Sakurai is no longer with us, Zhang hopes to continue working with BUCK-TICK when the opportunity comes.

"There was a lot I learned from Sakurai-san," Zhang says, "I learned to love better, to live my life in my own terms, to express myself and continue making art to heal myself and everyone around. My hope is that we all can learn from how he lived his life despite the odds being against him. I want nothing but his memory to continue on."

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The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1920–1923

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We did an opera-singing scene, and there was a dancing one too… I don’t know why it was never used. Maybe it was too funny.

Maggie Cheung & Tony Leung in a deleted scene for In the Mood For Love (2000) dir. Wong Kar-wai

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In the Mood for Love (2000)

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I was in the land of the moon and I’ve come back, and here you are and you are life.

Erich Maria Remarque, Arch of Triumph (tr. by Walter Sorell & Denver Lindley), 1945

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G. To get some motivation back, I will be rebooting this character. Nothing too big, just some minor changes.

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G. Professorship and trying to get this degree took over my life. But know that I'm doing okay and I haven't abandoned this blog or anything creative writing related. I will get to my drafts when I have time.

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𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐊𝐨𝐧𝐠, 𝑶𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒖𝒆. 🐚

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The Pittsburgh Press, Pennsylvania, February 25, 1942

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June Gehringer, “EARTH IS AN ANAGRAM FOR HEART, U FUCKING IDIOTS”

[Text ID: “We will bury this Earth in earth and / I will love you while we wait / for blood to grow.”]

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