inigo 🔪 ceo of dumbassery 🔪 oc creator and writer, kinda 🔪 2wenty2 🔪 i mostly talk about my urban fantasy menaces 🔪 proudly the only person posting in #powerrangersocs 🔪 (ic. pridewishes, sidebar by shirogane-edits)
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June 25 is Arven's birthday. He's 32 this year! For this one, we're back to the current year. We're having a chill celebration for Arven (ft his boyfriend).
(under the cut)
"Sorry I didn't want to do anything more exciting. I hope you're having fun anyways, Eli." Arven says, looking up from the figurine he's painting. His boyfriend laughs a little.
"Are you kidding? Any time spent with you is fun." Arven rolls his eyes affectionately at that. Cliché ass line as it is, he knows Eli means it.
"And besides, it's your birthday, Sunshine." he points his brush at Arven for emphasis. "You choose how we spend it. If you wanna just paint figures, I'm down."
Arven smiles. Eli's always so damn sweet to him, and it's always appreciated and reciprocated in kind — even if Arven acts like a jackass and (lovingly) bullies him routinely. Arven turns his attention back to the figurine in his hand.
"Good. It'd suck to have a painting partner who wasn't 'down' with the task." his boyfriend snorts, which makes Arven laugh a bit.
"Baby, I'm down with tasks you've never even heard of."
That makes Arven laugh, loud and honest. Between laughs he asks "WHAT?" rather loudly before laughing more. It wasn't even that funny, but it has him in stitches anyways. There's something about the way Eli said it that just cracked him right up. He barely noticed the figurine he's holding being carefully taken from him and sat on the paper covering the table.
"Hey, breathe a little there."
After a few breaths (some of which were interrupted by more laughter), Arven is steady again. He wipes his eyes, having laughed hard enough to cry only a little bit. He takes ahold of and squeezes his boyfriend's hands.
There.
Much more grounded.
"You can't just.. say shit and expect me not to laugh. Especially when it's stupid."
Arven's grin is wide, and with the sun hitting his face just right, his eyes are a hypnotic shade of amber. Even with his messy hair hidden by a stolen beanie, his glasses a little dirty from lint and specks of paint water, and his pajamas old and worn, he's a perfect ten in the eyes of the man sitting across from him.
"I love you."
The words catch Arven off guard. They're not surprising to hear, of course; The two of them have exchanged 'I love you's numerous times since they got together. Nonetheless, he wasn't expecting it after saying 'what you said was stupid', and especially not that gentle. It makes his face feel a little warmer and his heart beat a little faster. His grin morphs into a more soft, adoring closed-mouth smile.
"I love you too. What brought that on, exactly?"
"Do I need a reason to tell you I love you?"
"Well, no, not really. But you don't say it all gentle like that unless there's a reason."
Eli laughs. "You got me there. I just.. really looked at you and I couldn't not say it." That damn smile makes Arven's chest feel warm. It has for years — even before they got together.
"Well, I'm happy you find me attractive when I'm not more.. put together."
"I hope you know I'd find you attractive even if you were like, a mermaid and a centaur's son, but you were a fish from the waist up and a horse from the waist down."
Arven laughs and shoves his arm playfully.
"Y'know how fucked that would be? Like, if my parents really were a mermaid and a centaur, Christi would have for sure gotten lucky and had both human halves; I have literally the worst luck imaginable."
They both laugh at the idea of it. It was dumb, but entertaining all the same. The logistics of half-mermaid, half-centaurs is something Arven is quick to describe as 'deeply interesting' to him.
"Okay, game plan for tonight: we make mertaurs real in a dreamscape. I know we've been talking about finally trying out the Pokémon one for a bit, but I think mertaurs would be really funny. Whaddya think?"
"I think that's super goofy and ridiculous." Arven says with a laugh.
"So you wanna do it?"
"Of course I wanna do it! Who do you think I am?"
They laugh again, and Eli leans over the table to give Arven a quick kiss. It's short, but not any less sweet. Arven smiles, big and bright. He quite literslly is the embodiment of sunshine in that moment. This is easily Arven's favorite birthday to date.
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June 24 is Adrian's birthday. He's 32 this year! I felt like doing another flashback, so this story takes place on his 27th birthday. It's not 100% accurate to real life, as the pandemic was in full swing by this point in the real world, but shhh, this is fiction—just roll with it.
(under the cut; tw/cw for alcohol consumption, abandonment, and briefly touched on juvenile detainment and negative family relationships/dynamics)
It is 9:30pm and Adrian finds himself sitting alone at a table farthest from the entrance to the bar. With a sigh he raises the glass he's holding to his lips. The alcohol burns a bit on the way down and Adrian clears his throat. He feels pathetic, sitting here by himself on his birthday, but hey—he got a free drink out of showing up tonight. That's a win, right?
He languidly scans the room. No one he recognizes is out tonight. He texted his group chat earlier in the day about going out, but everyone was miraculously busy the entire day. Adrian knew better than to believe the trope he saw on television growing up: that he was being avoided because his friends were planning a birthday party. No one actually does that; Team A focuses on party set up while Team B keeps the person of the day busy until everything is ready. Adrian knows that because he's been on both teams over the years.
No one has paid him any mind apart from staff members asking him if he doing alright. No one needing another person on their team for a round of pool or darts, no friendly (though drunk) stranger offering to keep him company or let him join their friends, and definitely no beautiful or handsome strangers looking for a night of fun. Not that he necessarily needs that last one, but it's worth noting, he guesses. He's not quite sure anyone would want to approach a freshly twenty-seven year old man brooding into his drink of choice by himself. He knows he wouldn't.
Adrian sighs again, and empties his glass. This was easily his least exciting birthday to date. It's not the worst, thankfully. No, that honor goes to his tenth birthday, when Gina got apprehended and taken to juvenile hall in the middle of the party. Speaking of his sister, she hadn't even wished him a happy birthday today. Not that he's entirely surprised by this, seeing as Gina goes through phases of hating the family and never speaking to any of them, then loving them and wanting to be present.
Through with stewing in old memories and familial drama, Adrian rises from his seat and heads to the bar to close his tab for the night. At the end of it all, he only spent about twenty-three dollars (and some change) total. Could be worse. When his debit card is returned to him, he heads for the door to leave the establishment behind him. Once out the door, after exchanging 'have a good night's with the bouncer, Adrian makes his way back to his apartment on foot.
Maybe next year's birthday will be better.
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the worlds smallest archaeologist just dug up a single gold coin
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June 23 is Asterion's birthday. He's (chronologically) 32 this year! I decided to do something different with this birthday story—it's a flashback! Here we see the start to Asterion's 18th birthday (ft his mother and older sister).
(under the cut, enjoy!)
Asterion makes his way down the stairs at 11:16am to the sound of pans clattering in the kitchen. He quietly walks to the hallway the realtor insisted is a kitchen and finds his mother and sister debating on the correct pan to use for a box mix cake. While they're squabbling, Asterion clears his throat. The two women look to him in surprise.
"Uh.. morning?" Asterion's voice cracks a little on the last syllable, much to his own irritation.
"G'morning!" his sister smiles, setting the pan in her hand on the stove. She strides over and ropes her little brother into a hug. Asterion wraps his arms around her and squeezes.
"Happy birthday, Aster."
"Thanks, Hera."
The siblings separate, and Asterion smiles. When he looks to his mother, she's smiling as well. She sets her own pan down and opens her arms. Without hesitation, he meets her and hugs her. As Asterion's hands clasp behind his mom, her hand rests on his head.
She hums. "Happy birthday, my little star." he mumbles a 'thank you' into her shoulder.
Slowly, Asterion separates himself from his mother. He looks at the pans. After a couple of seconds, he points to the one Hera sat down.
"That one. The cake'll be thicker and taller, even if it isn't as wide as the other one."
"I told you, Mom!"
Their mother rolls her eyes affectionately, and concedes. She puts the losing pan back in the cabinet and moves the winner closer. Asterion rocks on his heels, hoping she'll somehow telepathically know he wants his presents. If only that were a real thing...
Hera lightly bumps his shoulder and nods in their mom's direction. She mouths 'just ask her'. With a dramatic, long-suffering sigh, Asterion walks over and looks over his mom's shoulder.
"Sooo.."
"So?"
Asterion can't bite back his smile. "When do I get my presents?"
His mom laughs. She was fully expecting his impatience. He's been like this since he was old enough to speak. Asterion backs up as she goes to turn.
"When do you want them?"
"Now, preferably." Asterion laughs a little. His mom hums and heads to the coat closet. He and Hera aren't far behind.
When the three arrive at the door to the coat closet, Aster bounces in place. The only thing he loves more than giving gifts is getting them. With that, the only thing that makes Christmas better than June 23 is the fact that the weather is nice and cold. Oh, and he gets to go to Michigan to see his extended family. His mom's voice tears through his thoughts.
"Okay, Aster. Here you go." she hands over a large fabric shopping bag. Asterion carefully takes it from her and heads to the couch.
He knows better than to open up anything until mom grabs her camera. Mom always needs pictures of everything the same way that she always needs to tell everyone she cherishes that she loves them. You can never have too many memories, or say you love someone too much. She always said that losing dad taught her that. Asterion tries to push the thought of his father away; today is supposed to be happy, not another day of mourning what he never had.
When mom comes back, she's all smiles. Her camera is on and ready. She motions excitedly with her hand for Asterion to start opening.
As he opens each gift he smiles and holds it up for the camera. Back to back, gifts he'd been asking for since the start of the year. The new Nintendo handheld (with Super Monkey Ball and Harvest Moon), a new case for his laptop, a couple of shirts for shows he likes, miscellaneous stickers for various media he likes, a pack of socks (something he's been needing for a short while now), among other little things. Hera hands him a card when he finishes opening up everything.
"I know you usually get the card first, but here."
With a raised eyebrow Asterion takes the card. The envelope is plain white with a yellow star sticker holding it closed in the middle. Mom, he notes. She's always closed envelopes like that. With careful hands he opens the envelope, making sure to not rip the sticker.
When he pulls out the card, it's one of the generic Hallmark birthday cards with a stock-standard well-wish for the occasion. Upon opening it, the printed message simply reads 'Happy Birthday'. His sister and mother added their own words as well.
'Aster���
Happy birthday, littlest of brothers! Can't believe you're already 18!! I can still remember you clinging to me when you started kindergarten saying "No! No! Sissy has to come with me!" I feel old lol
Anyways, I hope you enjoy the birthday money and have fun today :) Love you always!
-Hera'
'Happy birthday to my Little Star ✩
I'm so proud of how far you've come, Asterion. I'm very honored to be your mother. Watching you grow into the young man you've become has been a blessing. I wish your father was here to see you, but I trust that he's always watching over you — I know he's as proud as I am. I'm excited to see where the next 18 years takes you.
Love, Mom'
Asterion closes the card and hugs both Hera and his mom. He thanks them both and pockets the money Hera left in the card when he releases them. He notes that he is now fourty dollars richer.
"Oh, Dez and Illia are coming to get me at noon, by the way. They wanna take me bowling." Asterion says as he grabs the nearest phone off the table.
"That's mine, y'know."
"Need the time.." Asterion clicks Hera's phone on and sees that it's 11:57. "Dammit! I'm running late. I gotta go get dressed—is it okay if I just leave this here? I'll clean it up when I come back."
When his mom nods, he smiles and sets Hera's phone down.
"Thank you! And thanks for the gifts!"
With that, he runs to the staircase, up the stairs, and heads to his room. The door shuts when his mom yells 'don't run in the house!'
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#character: seven park#character: jay lovett#(seven's not even a boy but this applies to their friendship with jay)
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June 22 is Axel's birthday. He's 33 this year! I had a bit of trouble coming up with something to write for him, since I didn't really know what I wanted to write for him, but I managed to get this put together.
(despite the shorter length, i put this under the cut)
When Axel wakes up, he blearily pats around for his phone on the nightstand. He finally gets a grip on it and unplugs it from the charger. The screen lights up when the cord disconnects, and tells him it's a little after noon. Thankfully, he doesn't work Sundays, so he doesn't have to worry about running late. The screen goes dark before he can check his notifications.
"I'm sure he's been awake for awhile now. California's only an hour behind." Axel mumbles to himself, slowly sitting up. He clicks his phone back on and sees various notification badges, one of which is the Messaging app. Without hesitation, he taps it and enters his passcode.
When the app loads, he's greeted by a message from his partner. The timestamp reads 'sent at 6:15am'.
Happy birthday, Axel! 🎉 I know I already said it, but I'm sorry I couldn't reschedule my work trip for earlier and I have to miss out on the big day with you. Lucky for you, you're getting extra gifts, even if they're a day late. I'll see you soon, baby. I love you!
The message, naturally, makes Axel smile. He already got his gifts a couple of days early, but it wasn't quite the same as celebrating the day of. Against his wishes, his mind goes back to the years after the initial breakup when he didn't get to spend his birthday with him. He tries to shake the thoughts off and quickly types a response.
thanks
sorry for the late reply i wound up sleeping in lmao
very excited to see what you got me
i love you too ❤️
ik you're probably busy rn so let's call tonight
With that, Axel slides his phone into his pocket and stretches. Now that he's a little more awake, he can hear the rain hitting the window. Damn, now I really wish he was here. Axel stifles a yawn and grabs a shirt as he stands.
Of course, it was the CKY shirt he was gifted mere days ago. It brings a smile to his face.
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super simple low-effort ao3 summary methods that are 1000% better and 1000% less annoying than just saying you suck at summaries:
copypaste the first few lines of the fic. u already wrote ‘em. let ‘em be their own damn hook
if ur feeling fancy & don’t mind showing ur hand a bit, copypaste the first few lines of the fic that u feel are esp. Important or Interesting - the ones where u first start getting into the real meat of things
state the main tropes! theyre probably already in ur tags - just say them again - maybe as a full sentence if ur feelin fancy. or with a joke if ur feelin Extra fancy
ask a question. pose a hypothetical. eg what happens if u take [character] and put them in [situation]?
make an equation. [character] + [thing] = [outcome]
just write like a one-sentence summary of what the fuck is going down. just one (1) sentence. doesnt matter if it doesn’t cover every important aspect. or if it sounds bland. any summary sentence is gonna be miles better than “idk i suck at summaries”
just…explain the fic like u would to a friend? it doesnt have to be a polished back of the book blurb. it can just be “[pairing] coffee shop au, but like, still with murder, and also i made everyone trans. enjoy”
just stick a meme in there
honestly who cares
just put literally anything but a self deprecating comment in there & ur golden
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mimes a dismissive jerkoff gesture but im shaking and badly hiding that i orgasmed on the 2nd stroke
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June 21 is Attis's birthday. He's 35 this year! To celebrate, I wrote a little thing for him (ft. his husband). Just something cute and different from my typical birthday posts from back when I did them semi-regularly.
(under the cut bc it came out to almost 400 words)
"Happy birthday, baby."
The surprise on Attis's face is plain as day. He hadn't been expecting a gift, despite the occasion. He didn't care much for celebrating his birthday, and never had. Growing up in a single income household meant that the majority of the Wilson family's money went straight to bills and groceries; the most Attis and his older siblings got was a store bought birthday card in a colorful envelope, so he was used to not doing—or getting—anything.
Despite this, his husband always did things for him the day of. Breakfast in the morning, doing the laundry, taking him to the record shop downtown, getting him little knick-knacks and trinkets, a personalized card; never all of those things in a single celebration, or anything too extreme. That was the most Attis was willing to accept, and when it comes to his own birthday? What he says, goes.
"You didn't have to get me anything, Jamie, but.. thank you." Attis smiles a little as he opens the bag up. After removing the tissue paper, he's met with a little ceramic statue of a motorcycle. Before Attis knows it, his little smile becomes a full-blown grin.
"So.. you like it?"
"It's perfect. Thank you, again." Attis sets the statue down on the nightstand and gently pulls his husband into a hug. When he squeezes, Attis squeezes back a little tighter and lets out a content sigh through his nose. They reluctantly separate, but not before Attis swipes a kiss. The look on his lover's face causes Attis's grin to turn cocky.
"Shush.."
"I didn't say anything." Attis's expression remains the same. "Also, you shouldn't talk to the birthday boy like that, babe. Very ungentlemanly."
The two share a good laugh, despite the "joke" not being very funny. Maybe that's a natural part of entering your mid-thirties. Who knows?
"Well, hopefully the birthday boy will forgive me, considering I made him breakfast."
Attis's eyes widen in excitement.
"All is forgiven." Attis says, throwing the blankets off of himself.
His husband laughs as he stands, offering Attis a hand before he can run off to the dining room. When Attis accepts, he gets a kiss pressed to the back of it.
"I love you, so much. Happy birthday."
"Thanks. I love you, too."
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There is still time by @/luvnotee
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what if a creature was both strange and hilarious. multifaceted.
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the first draft won’t kill you. it will just chew you up and spit you out and make you better. like emotionally. or like. worse. but in a literary way.
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notes aeon has made about his friends in his silly little notebook
"this started as a way to remember stuff i learned about you guys when i first properly met most of you, but now it's just a habit at this point."
under the cut
atlas:
so apparently my best friend is here (how i did not put 2 and 2 together is beyond me)
messes with his right earring when he's nervous
good at verbally eviscerating people (i really shouldn't repeat any of that, even in a note, good god)
how he hasn't broken his spine OR the chair he sits in is beyond me (that can't be comfortable)
likes cute things — doesn't look it
LOVES cats
his glasses are always dirty (maybe i should keep a cloth in my pocket for him?)
i know he works in legal, but holy shit can he pull random laws and bylaws out of a hat like it's nothing
minecraft, animal crossing, and stardew valley are his go-to games
why does he know so much about the omegaverse???
really likes chewing on stuff (how hasn't he chewed through that headphone cord???)
has apparently flirted with a fake house plant? i need more context for this one..
ambrose:
makes really intense eye contact (he's an investigator — might have something to do with that)
very fashion forward (this isn't even an important meeting or anything — is this his version of casual?)
apparently flips his septum ring inward for work
demons?? did this man really say he works with demons?? holy shit, it's just one thing after another in the magical world, huh?
paints his nails to keep from biting them — favors dark colors. safe gift idea
likes horror (ask for movie/book/game recs at some point)
playful for an investigator
not a good healer, apparently
scar over the bridge of his nose was from an accident in high school — he tells the story like it's funny, but i'm deeply concerned (i hope that teacher doesn't still have a job)
did not expect him to know morse code OR how to read braille — did, however, expect him to know how to speak italian and french
has a criminal justice degree
taps his pen against his thumb a lot (nervous tic?)
xander:
met him in passing before now — i remember hearing something about him staying in washington for a bit?
very intimidating for a guy only a little taller than me
we used to live in the same apartment complex on brown road? he must've been on the other side of the property..
always wearing the same jacket (looks pretty roughed up)
carries a lighter (does he smoke?)
apparently only knows basic italian and swears (pretty sure he just called his cousin a son of a whore? according to ambrose, he was talking about the father)
listens to ska? interesting choice..
implied "thing" for vampires — live your truth, king
falls asleep (or comes close to) a lot during these meetings — i was told to just let him be when he does this
mentioned having more piercings at one point, but now he just has jewelry in his lobes and eyebrow
BONUS:
asterion:
the silver eyes are a little intimidating — thankfully he doesn't express less than positive emotions with them often
despite being "a sugar baby" (as xander jokes), he's pretty down to earth and chill and self-sufficient
makes lots of electricity-based puns (i expected vampire ones)
really likes mitski
crazy good at improv — need him on my team for that improv game i found online..
him and xander are pretty close (nice to see the guy opening up more ^‿^)
jumpscares atlas with his flash-stepping and it's kinda funny
loves brownies almost as much as atlas and xander; bake larger batches for next get-together
i've heard he's a bad driver, but i kinda wanna see for myself — his boyfriend has to be exaggerating
really good cook for a guy who doesn't need to eat human food
andrew:
veeeeery grumpy and irritable
unlike asterion, he's hardly expressing positive emotions with his eyes; silver is even more intimidating on him
somehow shorter than atlas (not by much but still)
knows a lot about dinosaurs and fossils — found a topic that makes him happy
only lets xander and asterion call him "andy"
has the world's most personal beef with tgi fridays? for some reason?
gives me the vibe he's actually pretty lonely? maybe in time i can be a friend to him
apparently used to really love halloween, but it's been soured for him (i wonder why?)
doesn't like refrigerated blood. interesting..
into a lot of different music (share playlists sometime)
#collection: the menaces#character: aeon graves#character: atlas mccormick#character: ambrose winchester#character: xander myers#character: asterion eisner#character: andrew sawyer#inigo.txt
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