zaddymaul - Tumblr blog

[zaddymaul]

castle // halsey

[zaddymaul]

Diagnosis: ✨ babygirl ✨ (in/sp)

[zaddymaul]

ibuprofen please save me from the dragon

[zaddymaul]

she's everything he's just kanan

[zaddymaul]

I don’t WANT to use dating apps I WANT a monster to decide I’m the perfect mate and court me appropriately!!! And then fuck me stupid sloppy!!

[zaddymaul]

tech: hunter, i need to borrow your scarf.

hunter: really? what for?

tech: i have acquired a number of highly visible contusions between my mandible and clavicle, primarily concentrated in the sternocleidomastoid region, via last night's hormone-driven escapades, and i worry about the social repercussions.

hunter: ?????

tech: phee gave me a lot of hickeys.

[zaddymaul]

do you guys also think bella swan would have a bit more of a personality if she had like. hobbies and pets

[zaddymaul]

list of gender neutral terms for your nonbinary siblings

1. Fucking Loser

[zaddymaul]

okay not to come back swinging but I was thinking about post-tech moments

imagine Hunter having to excuse himself to the fresher to break down because Omega said/did something that sounded so much like Tech. or did something she clearly learned from him. he didn’t realize how much of Tech was in her but now that he’s gone it’s all he can see. it would be comforting if it wasn’t ripping the wound open all over again.

(of course he doesn’t say anything about it to her, he just hugs her extra tightly)

[zaddymaul]

pretty noises

 hunter x fem!reader 18+

GIF NOT MINE

wc: 524ish

warnings: unprotected sex, little bit of exhibitionism, little bit of voyeurism, use of good girl, this is trashhhhh, begging, I don’t think theres anything else besides this is hot garbage 

Your breathy moans filled their barracks, barely above the noise of the rain that hit the window. They should all be sleeping but how could they when your sounds of pleasure are sweet coming from under their sergeant. He sure knew they were listening, but he was focused on the way your face looked as he devoured your clit with two fingers in you. 

“All those pretty noises mesh’la you might wake the boys up” Hunter says pulling away for a moment before starting to mark your thighs with love bites. Your walls clenched around his fingers at the thought. “Seems like you might be a little exhibitionist cyar’ika” you couldn’t contain the moan that came out. If they weren’t all hard already that moan did the job. Reaching into the bottom halves of their blacks to stroke their aching lengths may have been a bad thought when it first crossed their minds but to hell with that. All freeing themselves stroking to the sounds of your moans. 

“They’re listening so be a good girl and give them a good show” the words whispered gravelly in your ear before his teeth nipped your earlobe. His thumb found your clit rubbing it to the edge of your first orgasm of the night. He stopped when your body gave its first sign of release. The whine you released was the sound of angels singing to the batch. The babbling of begging Hunter to let you cum had him chuckling.  “I bet if you use your big girl words to beg, I’ll let you cum all over my fingers.”

“Please let me cum sarge” your pleading making each cock in the room twitch in anticipation. He returned to rubbing your clit with his thumb while his mouth explored your breasts leaving marks before taking a nipple in his mouth tugging it between his teeth. That brought you to the edge again, Hunter gave you a nod signaling you have his permission to cum. Your guttural moan filled the barracks, if they weren’t already awake bringing themselves to release that would have woken them up. He positioned himself between your legs, his leaking tip grazed your clit and teased your entrance before his hips snapped into you. He groaned at the feeling of your walls clenching around him. Each thrust into you made you moan louder. Wrecker was the first to indicate being awake and listening when he cursed after releasing all over his hand. The sounds he made after releasing made your stomach flutter. Your legs were wrapped tightly around Hunter as he started thrusting into you faster. The way his cock twitched you could tell he was close. His groans filled your ears while your nails raked down his back. 

“Where do you want me?” his question came out sounding rough but also soft. 

“inside please” the neediness in your voice caused him to come undone, releasing a deep groan in your ear before placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“When you’re ready for another round doll come to my bunk” Crosshair’s voice broke the moment of silence sending you into a fit of tired giggles.  

[zaddymaul]

I love it when fandoms find the most emotionally unaware pissbaby of a man and collectively go "babygirl"

[zaddymaul]

Crosshair is rescued and moves to Pabu with his siblings. He has a hard time adjusting to non-military life, but he's getting there. He meets you, another islander, and is absolutely SMITTEN. Doesn't know how to approach you, and doesn't want to ruin his chances at this new life, so he's super quiet and actually pretty sweet. He offers to help you with your gardening, maintenance on your boat, compliments your baking. Sure, he still gives you the occasional sarcastic remark and maintains his dry sense of humor, but he's making a distinct effort to not fuck this up.

When you run into his siblings they're like "You've met our brother Crosshair, right? He moved here not too long ago."

"Oh yeah, he's so nice!"

And they're like WHAT?! There must be another Crosshair on this island because our Crosshair is NOT nice. It takes them a while to realize that YEAH that's our Crosshair, he's just got a massive fucking soft spot for you. They've never seen him with a crush before and they are living for it.

[zaddymaul]

i want to be a lil fairy and drink dewdrops and eat berries and sleep in a flower 

[zaddymaul]

Din Djarin is insane. this guy takes his magic 50 year old baby to fifth grade fight club like “my baby wants to fight” and this 11 yr old kid goes uhhhhh dude im not gonna fight a baby he's the size of a rotisserie chicken and Din is like ohhhh ho ho, I just decided my baby's gonna kick your ass extra hard now. and then the baby does a double somersault and completely annihilates him at paintball. funniest shit I've ever seen

[zaddymaul]

it’s may the 4th eve so remember to leave out a plate of bugs for anakin

[zaddymaul]

i am. so sorry if i have ever used the phrase “i have an au where—” and led you to believe that there is an actual fic out there for you to read rather than, at best, a post where i explain the concept, and at worst it is simply something that lives in my brain