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The last Tumblr blog

The intended content of this blog has been preempted by Tumblr which has become part of yet another monopolistic behemoth which offered me a one page legal prerequisite for continuing, stating among other alarming things that they or their partners can harass or misuse any content or anyone’s emails they can gather from this site.   I am guessing Trump made them do it.   Or that Trump broke net neutrality and they just walked right in because its like, ok now.  Or that Trump thinks Obama somehow did that retroactively.    How disappointing.  

Why is it that our eyeballs count for so much?   Is there a price on our heads?   I believe we are all irresistible marketing targets to all of those companies out there using Big Data and Artificial Intelligence who are really willing to stomp on privacy and respect on their way into our wallets and minds.   I get that a business has to live and grow and that it needs access to people to tell them what fantastic things they have.   My wife has a business and we talk about marketing all the time.  You have to because business without marketing and sales is a fairy tale.  But you don’t have to treat customers like black market assets to be traded for exploitation which is what seems to be happening from within both government and business.   They want to track us and organize us in to nice little boxes, and control any urges that go against the current regime.    Which brings to mind a few other people that really liked to do that a lot: 

     Stalin, Hitler, Musolini, Idi Amin, Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Pol Pot, ...

In fact, here is a website that points out a lot more than me:

   https://www.ranker.com/list/list-of-famous-dictators/reference

You know all those movies where the evil guy tries to control the whole world and gets vanquished by the hero?   Those are actually not just stories but  represent a very long historical pattern.   In case you missed it, Quentin Tarantino who was criticized for showing gross inhumane scenes in “Django Unchained” relating to the horrors of slavery in the American south east said there were much more horrific things that he restrained himself from showing.   Think about that.  The real horrors of what people have actually done do to other people was too much for Quentin Tarantino, the king of showing nasty shit in movies.

IMHO we are living in a time where another foolish dictatorship could develop a lot closer to home and blood, pain and suffering could happen yet again.   And just  in case you thought all this naughty behavior was due to relics of a less enlightened time. there are plenty of dictators today that fit the bill still.

At any rate, I refuse to expose any of my readers to potential harm so this is, in fact my last blog from Tumblr. 

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The lessons of children

Today I am Mr. Mom.   My beloved is away on important matters back in the USSR USA.   I am really enjoying my kids these days.   They have completely changed my life in unexpected ways and I thought I would share a few poignant points from my little teachers.

Have a heart. 

We moved to Portugal, in part, to get away from the moronic American educational system.   It is a political football between left and right instead of just teaching kids the best way society knows how.   Like here in Europe.  

My kids are always catching me about little recycling mistakes and oddly I want to be caught in spite of being annoyed.   I care about other people and their kids too.  They are cute and funny to me too but I really do feel a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest for the kids and their parents that go through all the little things I go through too. 

I am aware that this is a moment in the stream of time and this too shall pass, but it is a good moment and when the time comes I will let it go, but for now it is a really beautiful one.   I used to be one of the biggest space captains you could imagine.   My attention was always on the causal relationships of everything on a most mythological scale.   The world was largely an abstract representation of ideas and forces splattered with emotional interludes.   I would often see internal photo shoots of my entire life from beginning till end and the lives of others.   Back on earth with children, my life is so much more focused and involved.   I have a heart now or at least a bigger one.

Be Flexible

I always thought I was really tolerant and forgiving.   Not true.    It is hard to see yourself through your own eyes, but my children,  these beautiful little mirrors do show me what bags of horseshit I carry around.   Bags of reactive horseshit from God knows where.   Bags of beliefs about right and wrong horseshit.    I hope that all the wrong choices I have made with my kids when I got bent will be forgotten.    Bent, as in not flexible like a willow in the wind.  Bent, as in what happens when you wrap your car around a lamp post.   I suppose it is possible for someone to believe they are always right no matter what, but with children,  it has become pretty clear to me that you should try not to break their fragile little hearts or shatter their beliefs too abruptly. 

Be Courageous

Children are a lot of responsibility.   The state gets involved (too much in my view),  a whole extended tribe gets involved, and the little buggars need you for absolutely everything.   They need you to be a doctor, a psychologist, a cook, ass-wiper,  protector,  authoritarian, financial genius and the right hand of every teacher in every class for all the homework you tried to forget and now have to really get. 

Kids have inspired me to work harder and longer and push through things with work and patience through sickness and pain than I have ever done before.    They make me take much more calculated risks.   Anyone who knew the former me would LOL at the thought of me restraining risky behavior.    I still take risks under the heading “0 risk = certain failure” but they are weighed on a much better scale now.

The End

I know a couple of guys whose children have long since become part of the working world and have children of their own. They sound jaded, like “Yeah, been there, done that” but there is a certain weathered grace I admire.   It looks like the sort of success you see in people who have run a marathon or two and are comfortable among that rarefied crowd.    I do know the picture I am painting here is a slice out of the whole of human experience, but it is my slice and I am ok with that.

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Osterwasser

Easter has come and gone.   The Germans have come, but not gone.

My wife’s biological father and his wife from East Germany are visiting and it is always a challenge for me to speak since there is no English involved.   At all.   The pro here is that I get much better at German every time they show up or I visit them.  The con is that I feel like I have gone back to kindergarten and babble like a fool.   Everyone in my family speaks German, including my 7 year old daughter, except me.  All of my verbal brilliance devolves into something like “Meet you goods.  Did they flight good. That’s good”.   They say nice things about how much I have improved but its like when you are praising your young kindergarten child for how nice a drawing is compared to when they were 2.

Actually, for the first time I am able to have a conversation with a few google translate lookups.   Her father is a welder and he was describing the tools he works with like a High Frequency welder.   I have been all around that stuff as an engineer with Boeing but the specialty stuff is always a challenge to translate and I do have to wip out my google.  No, not that google.

We had a family gathering in “The Algarve” which is the southern coast of Portugal.   Chocolate Easter Eggs were hidden and the 7 year old was suitably thrilled and the 14 year old as well.  The adults all had fun doing the hiding.  There was a lot of eating and sitting and talking.   And then the great escape to walk somewhere.   It’s Easter.   What are you going to do?   In all honesty it felt great to not work (so much) and laugh and play.   My daughter keeps me young because she loves to swim with me but at this time of year pool water is around 10 degrees C or less, even in the Algarve, which is doable but not so fun.   It takes manly virtue and a foolish little girl to get in there.   In the end after my body has barely acclimatized my little girl decides it wasn’t such a good idea after all.   

I also had  an adventurous trail run with my mother-in-law’s boyfriend.   English doesn’t have a good word for that.   He’s a nice Dutch guy and they have been together forever.   I would like to say Husband but that would be wrong.

So Osterwasser.  This translates to “Easter Water”.    This is what the adults drink for Easter which is, of course, not water.   It is actually home brewed high alcohol Egg Nog.

No I am not done yet.  You have to read more.

Since this is a blog about Portugal I have to say something about Portugal.    So sitting in Portugal talking in German with my brain madly trying to keep up with all of these Germans, whenever I bump into Real Portuguese™ People I start saying things like “entschuldigung” instead of “desculpe”.   Meaning “excuse me”.    And once in a gas station as I was paying the bill and was having a lovely little micro chat in Portuguese with the cashier, Birgit came in and asked me about a belt she was thinking about buying, in German.    I couldn’t do it.   My mouth opened and shut several times with nothing coming out.   I would have normally known the words but the transition from Portuguese to German just completely failed.

That’s all.  You can go now.

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Intercontinental Comparisons

Wow!  It has been 4 months since my last blog.   Family life has been one amazing journey for me but time is a challenge.

I have been contemplating differences between the US and Portugal lately so I thought I’d list a few interesting tidbits.

TRAFFIC.  Traffic in Lisbon is beastly even with google maps.   I am assuming that millenia of urban growth has turned cow paths into the modern insanity of highly questionable turns and super tight alleys that even a normal car has difficulty squeezing through.    Our daily journey from home to the kids’ school starts out in an easy-breezy rural-ish environment and ends up noodling through people and odd road habits.   Like the stop sign nobody notices and drives right through.  Or the people walking down a road with 2 way traffic that has room for only one car.   There’s a lot more forgiveness of stupid things here than in America for sure.  They do have road rage and honking tantrums to a certain extent but the Portuguese people are fundamentally decent in all things.   One of my happy reminders of history here is a huge Roman aqueduct we drive under from time to time.   You won’t see that in America.

HEALTH.  *Cough* , *hack*,  *gasp*.   Need I say more?  Europe in general is an ashcan for smokers.   They tell me it is much better in Portugal now but coming from the west coast of America it is hard to see.   You would think that after being here for 2 1/2 years I would have gotten over it and adapted.   It is omnipresent and nasty and they don’t appear to understand why anyone would object.   If you don’t smoke or have never smoked it is such a revolting smell aside from the obvious health impact.   I am guessing that for Europeans it does not smell bad even for the non-smokers since it is so ubiquitous and everyone is just used to it.  We have been back and forth with relatives and friends about it and the bottom line is we just can’t stand it.

  In another vein, Katrin, Max and I  went to see a naturopath recently and she only has unpleasant things to say about the Standard Protuguese Diet (SPD).  It is debatable whether it is worse than the Standard American Diet (SAD) but I am going to give the award to the Americans based on the fat body count.    It’s a lot of sugar, bread and overcooked things.   And fish which is what they are most proud of as a maritime nation.   I cannot say the native cuisine is anything to write home about but in the larger cities there are some outstanding restaurants.   It would be safe to say that our diet has improved significantly because we eat at home a lot more which means mostly organic delicious food that Katrin cooks.   That may sound a bit sexist but I just never really learned how to cook.  Fortunately Max has a talent for it too.    Portugal  is a culinary desert.  That is one ‘s’, not two.

The healthcare system here makes  a lot of sense.    There is a catchall system for anyone who can stand in line for hours.   If you have a little money you can get superior service.  I pay about $150/month for outstanding care for a family of 4.   Which beats the fuck out of whatever you call that diseased animal they call healthcare in America.

POLITICS.  This a great environment to be in for an American expat to get perspective on American politics.   For one thing, America only has 2 parties in spite of multiple attempts at making a 3rd party work.   In Europe it is not black and white like that.   There are multiple parties and sometimes the odd one wins.   Another thing is that the dominant perspective here is socialism and it is a good thing and not a communist plot to make you a terrified Gulag party member.   I am a big fan of freedom.     I don’t like international interventionism.   I am not a collectivist.   I am not an individualist.  I want everyone to contribute to roads,  schools, the military, policemen, teachers and helping grandma and people who need help feel safe and protected and I want all of those helpers of other people to be really well paid and respected.  Portugal is no stranger to corruption.  Here is Jose Socrates an ex-president caught laundering money.   Would somebody please finally convict Trump of something?  Anything.   Make it up.   We can call it a fake impeachment and he can go eat cake in a nice comfy cell somewhere.

ECONOMY.   Portugal has had big problems with corruption like a lot of other countries.  When I got here I had high hopes for the benefits of socialism but I have been surprised and disappointed.  It is not much better than the American system really.   The economy is divided by the haves and have-nots which has a lot to do with tourism and wealthy immigrants.   The Portuguese have suffered a lot financially but there are signs that they are on an upswing due to some smart moves by the EU.   Lisbon is a booming thriving city full of beautiful cars and million dollar homes and modern infrastructure too.

ART.   I love art and Portugal is full of it.   They have murals on lots of building and clever statues with poignant messages.  It is really fun and alive.   I wish this was done a lot more in America.

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Herrenfussball!

I played my first game of soccer in 2 years and before that somewhere around 1994.   Katrin introduced me to Gunther a german bookseller at the German School my kids go to who organizes it every Friday.   I am hooked and going back.   This is a fun bunch of guys, mostly teachers and faculty.    I don’t understand everything they say but it is fun to see the different attitudes and the ways they laugh off the little things in the game.   There are always mistakes which are the source of heckling and good natured humor.  The language of team sports is pretty universal whether it is basketball, soccer or ultimate frisbee.

I wish I could play better.  My body is definitely older and stiffer than it was before which sucks and I need to train and stretch better so I don’t get injured.   It is so easy to get caught up in the game and forget there are limitations.   Get that Ball!!   The first injury was my left foot twisting and cramping so I had to sit it out for 10 minutes.   The second I kicked a guy in the thigh and helped him up. Very embarrassing.  The third I kicked the ball at the same time as another guy and we both suffered.  The fourth incident I did the same thing.   After that I excused myself when I realized I was a bad accident waiting to happen.   I have a hard time pulling back and it is something I really have to learn.   At that family game in Amt Neuhaus, Germany I kicked the ball really hard as the goalie just as my beloved wife, who was on my side, jumped in front of me unexpectedly and tried to kick it at the same time and I damn near broke her leg.    So anyway you get the picture.   A little out of control.

They actually lied to me.   The actual name of the event can be translated as ��old guys soccer”.   Which I thought would be nice and easy.   I was there first and this guy in  his twenties shows up and we started kicking the ball.   It turns out I was probably the oldest guy there along with Gunther.    Oh man. 

I met a 30 something lady in Portland, Oregon who did ballet professionally.  I watched her do performances for over 20 years which became progressively more difficult to see because her body could not keep up with her skills.   Muscles and tendons don’t extend as they get older.   There is actually  a name for it: Sarcopenia.  It is manageable  but you need secrets and dedication to counteract it.

I think the real joy aside from just playing soccer is that here I am in Portugal having a pretty good time with an older body that can still have this kind of fun.   I can speak enough German and Portuguese to interact and t is not so scary as it all was 2 years ago.    The xenophobia that pervades the American psyche has been replaced with the idea that I am a citizen of the planet and not just America.   I am building a business, forming friendships and it seems as though I am accepted by this new world.  It is not like I am American or a socialist traitor.    I am both America and a socialst traitor ;-)  My world has expanded and I am liberated a  bit more from my own internal limitations.

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Praha

There has been a lot of positive changes lately in our lives.   Our beautiful house on Forest Park ln Aptos, CA has finally been sold.   Katrin has committed to a nice storefront in Lisbon and I am doing 2 programming gigs whilst trying to start a business with an architect in the Azores.   We are looking to buy a house and stop paying someone else’s mortgage again.  One day real soon we will have taken care of all the BIG STUFF.   And it can’t come fast enough.  We’ve been dealing with BIG STUFF for years now.

It isn’t easy to make all these changes, but it isn’t impossible either.   I am starting to think Katrin actually IS superwoman.  I tease her about trying to be superwoman but now I have my suspicions.   She does so much digging through process and decisions.   We talk,  I say things like  “that’s a great idea” and then she does it.  Then I get back to work.  Its a workable relationship (I hope) and I wish I could help more but for now we are in the middle of a lot of motion.   Running a business is a lot about making choices full time.  There doesn’t seem to be any really good advice and no clear right or wrong on a lot of things.   It is more like an artist staring at a blank canvas before they make their masterpiece.

I am currently in a hotel in Prague (”Praha” if you are Czech).  To learn the ropes of another aspect of the day job.    I am rewriting a big part of what they do.    They support the IETF whose mission is:

“ to make the Internet work better by producing high quality, relevant technical documents that influence the way people design, use, and manage the Internet.”

This is a big animal that meets 4 times a year all over the world.   It is an amalgamation of entities and interests that have no Supreme Leader.

I met a nice young lady on the plane who was from Slovakia who explained the history of how Czechoslovakia became The Czech Republic and Slovakia.  It was a bloodless divorce between two cultures that never should have come together in the first place.   Apparently they thought it was a good idea at the time to have more strength among the Slavic nations.

From her Slovakian eyes America lacks self-responsibility.   She sees people suing other people for things they should have foreseen, or their own stupidity, or whatever.   Amongst the Slavs the idea is that you have to watch out for potholes yourself rather than suing someone because there is one.  She tells me Slovakia is a tiny little country of only 7 million people or so, full of nature and lots of great hiking trails to go on.   I want to take a mini-vacation there to see now.

I feel compelled to say something about Trump here but I won’t.   I can’t really wrap that into anything about Portugal which is the theme of this blog.   Which is a good thing because if I were to say something about Trump it would not be nice and there are plenty of people saying not-nice things much better than I possibly could.   The really interesting question though is how the fuck can so many people have been such ignorant, naive suckers to think that Trump was a good idea.   How did so many people come to the point that they cannot see dysfunction, idiocy and self-destructive behavior?    So anyway I am not talking about Trump anymore here.   My fingers are moving away from the keyboard. Just a little bit more...

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How NOT to travel to Portugal

I am a really cheap guy when it comes to travel. When I rent a car on orbitz or kayak I go for the cheapest one. I don't mind walking or taking a long shuttle drive. However, I think I am going to be spending a little more. My poor wife deserves better. One funky little rental had a loud slapping wind shield wiper and they neglected to clean it. I booked my flight with kiwi.com which made it really difficult to change seats to aisle seats or to pay for baggage online. It was a 3 legged flight and I ended up going through security twice and picking up baggage off a carousel twice. I also had the pleasure of riding on Norwegian airlines in an Airbus 330. This was particularly uncomfortable to sit in for 11 hours. The seat was just barely big enough for my butt and there were uncomfortable bumps. Fortunately I was super tired so I slept through most of it. So my take away is never use Norwegian, kiwi.com and to stop being so damn cheap. A travel agent sounds so nice at this point. The good news is I have one last little flight and I will be back home.

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Life on the Edge

It is hard to describe how embarrassing it is to be an American and live in Europe with Trump in office.   Putin wants to disrupt the strength of Europe and the US and he is succeeding.    Nobody understands the idiocy of Trump or how so many people could have voted for him.  It is unfathomable.   They don’t know anyone that stupid.   They simply can’t relate.

I hope that things won’t get so out of control that my peaceful life here in Portugal is jeopardized.   Everything is flowing and beautiful.   I am working from home,  we have friends, the country generates a significant amount of renewable energy,  people are nice,  I love my kids and my pets.   I still love my wife after 8 years.  And we have some really cool dreams we are trying to fulfill.

I do miss the easy accessibility to the awesome nature in America.   I miss living in Seattle where I used to walk my kayak down to the ocean and paddle 4 miles over to Blake Island in the company of  Sea Lions and Orca Whales.  I miss Mount Si which I climbed countless times.    I miss Mt. Hood outside Portland where I hiked up the back side and camped out a lot.  I miss the Grand Canyon and the Betatakin in Northern Arizona.  And Mt Humphrey around Flagstaff, AZ.  I miss the ancient Anasazi ruins in the four corners reqion.   I miss Matilija Canyon outside Ojai, CA.   I miss Mt. Washington in New Hampshire that I hiked up 20 times or so.   And the lakes in Maine are a swimmers paradise.  I miss the Aurora Borealis in Fairbanks and standing in absolute silence in the middle of a snowy nowhere in -40F breathing in crisp refreshing air and seeing the winter glow of the sun against Aspen and Birch trees.   I really miss all the cross country skiing there and skating on frozen lakes.  I miss biking all over the Santa Cruz mountains.

I’ve discovered a few places in Portugal I like.   I have a 6 km run along the beach near Ribeira D’Ihas that sings to me and my two Podengo dogs.  I love Sintra with it’s castles.  Most of the Portugal I have seen doesn’t hold a candle to American wilderness but maybe  I have yet to find the special places.   In fact I have yet to explore a lot of Europe but I am sure there are natural treasures here too.

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Health Food in Portugal

One of my bigger concerns when moving to Portugal was being separated from health food stores.  I first started thinking about health foods and magic pills in 1975 with the Atkins diet.   I have no idea what a 15 year old teenager would find interesting in that at this point but it was part of the culture at the time and I’ve been carrying the official Health Food Nut card ever since.   Back then there wasn’t as much need for it as there is today and I’ve gained a lot of perspective at the grand old age of 56.  

In the 2 years since we have been here we have seen health food stores popping up everywhere.   There is one brand called Brio which just got bought up by Continente.   That was really disappointing.  That is like safeway buying your favorite health food store.   Or pepsi buying a juice company.  Ewwwwww.  You just can’t trust them anymore.

Portuguese are still pretty backwards when it comes to smoking in spite of all this increase in healthfulness.    Its pretty bad and I wish it would just go away.

I am proud that I contributed to a movement that is very important in a highly toxic world where 1 out of 3 women will die of cancer and half the men will as well.   My current thinking on health is pretty simple: exercise, sleep, don’t breathe, eat or drink polluted crap,  listen to your body,  avoid ElectroMagneticFields (EMFs), be fulfilled in whatever you are doing, have good relationships and detox regularly.   

I definitely married the right woman.  She is more disciplined about health than I am and is the energetic powerhouse that provides healthy organic meals and snacks for the entire family. 

Here are some photos from our kitchen this morning:

On the left is a power packed mixture of lemon, lime and turmeric that we drink every day with a little stevia.  The kids love it.   It’s like the tastiest lemonade you ever had.  On the right is Apple Cider Vinegar which I drink one tablespoon of a day in a glass of water and stevia.

We get organic (”biologic”) farm fresh food delivered to us every Tuesday from Quinta do Arneiro

Whole organic nuts which I munch regularly when I snack at work.  Look at all that organization!

That machine on top is an essential oils vaporizer from Doterra.   Katrin is hugely fascinated with essential oils.   I have been really surprised how effective they have been in our house: bee stings, infections, digestive problems, mosquitos, soap Katrin makes herself.  I am sure I am forgetting something.

Sprouts!  I used to do this all the time and we just got back into them.  Mung beans are my fav.

What self-respecting health food nut would not have a juicer.   This is our #1 trick for getting vitamins and minerals into kids.  Call it a smoothie.   That green stuff? oh ummm that is pixie dust.

That is a dehydrator.  It sucks a lot of power so I cannot fully approve but the end results are fantastic.  I’ve been threatening to build a solar version of this for years.

And here is my beloved kefir.  I use to spend between 6 and 18 bucks a day on this stuff before I realized I was 1) addicted and 2) not that rich.   I had a problem.   So I started home brewing it.   Everybody loves this stuff.  Kids, chickens, everybody.   It’s like champagne without the alcohol and better.

Fresh eggs from our chickens.   There was once a conversation like this:   Max (12 year old boy): I want chickens.  Seth: No way in hell.  Max: I want chickens.  Seth: Never, you see how you take care of the cat you wanted?  Max:  I want chickens and here is my homework on how to raise them.  Seth: No!  Katrin:  I want chickens.   Seth: really!?   And now we have the bestest high quality source of eggs.  And yes that is chicken poop on the outside.  Deal with it.

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Piriformis Syndrome

Today this post is going to diverge from my Portugal theme to make a post with some insights about how I have overcome this issue (mostly).   I have been dealing with it for the last 3 years intensively and have had back issues since I was 19 ( I am now 56 ).   Piriformis Syndrome is described best here.

A Brief History

My back went nuts for the first time after a great 10 mile run when I was 19.   I was then in chiropractors offices for decades afterwards since my back was never quite right.   I still like chiropractors and there are a few varieties but they were not the complete solution for me.    I’ve always been very physically active with a few periods of getting pudgy.   I have a lean body type.   I was very good at cross country skiing,  I did a LOT of hiking and biking and just walking.   I always found a soccer game to get into and later I fell in love with basketball for about 5 year and still later I fell in love with ultimate frisbee.   I’ve done a lot of kayaking, canoing, a little windsurfing, a little skiing, skating.   6 years ago I decided to get into doing a Triathlon.   I bought minimalist shoes and worked my way up to about 12 miles.   I liked running on the beach and one day I made it to mile 9 and my calves locked up so badly I had to hobble back the last 3 miles.   I had created too much scar tissue for my legs to work anymore without even knowing it. 

Prior to this my experience was that every so often my back would “go out”.    I mean really debilitating stuff.   I couldn’t walk easily, sleep was challenging,  getting in and out of a car was a questionable affair.   I was commuting with a motorcycle and getting my leg over the seat was almost undoable.   There were a few scary moments while on the bike where I couldn’t put my foot down at a stop.  A couple of years ago I was just walking up a hill and collapsed. 

I tried stretching a lot.   This helped a little.  I tried traditional physical therapy but it was so ineffective I consider it worthless.  I tried yoga but not very consistently.   That didn’t really help although I do have one friend who overcame his back issues going to Bikram Yoga everyday.   I found a Chiropractor in Santa Cruz (Dr. Jamie Bjerkhoel) who helped me a lot by raising my awareness about how to stretch and got rid of scar tissue with Active Release Therapy.   She was also the first chiropractor I had met who really understood the necessity of getting muscles working properly with spinal adjustment.   If your muscles are tugging on your spine incorrectly a spinal adjustment isn’t going to do much.  On the other hand a trauma to your spine can cause the muscles to maintain an imbalance.  Jamie among other people kept trying to get me to go do Pilates which I avoided for well over a year because I only saw women in there doing womanly looking things.   It looked like some kind of Jazzercize to me.  

I paid about $6,000 for personal Pilates instruction and it helped me a lot but it was also not the complete answer.   I got better verrrrry slowly and then several times some incident would happen that would set me back.  Ugh.  Very frustrating.

I moved to Portugal a couple of years ago and still feeling like a cripple I found an amazing Physical Trainer, “Nelson” at a Gym in Mafra.  This guy really helped me to become 90% functional.

My conclusions about what caused my Piriformis Syndrome

1) I was very bad at stretching consistently after exercise

2) Sitting on my ass all day.  In the software development world there are projects which require a lot of intense effort that can go all day and all night.  Sitting is particularly bad for humans over long periods of time.  Movement is good.   One of my fav online docs says it best: Dr. Mercola

3) I was too greedy to go to the next level in sports.  I was always trying to run farther, for example, before my structure had time to adjust.

4) Ignoring strength training.   I was predominately into aerobic activites which are fun but when you get to higher levels of performance it is just bat-shit crazy not to support all those hard working muscles.   The human body was not designed to use one specific group of muscles intensely while ignoring supporting muscles.  They all work together.

5) Stupid maneuvers.  One day I was cleaning leaves out of a gutter by twisting backwards with one hand on the deck railing, squatting down and crunching my left nut.     Another stupid maneuver:  lean over, twist, and lift.  Picking up a mattress say.  Also stupid: going to the gym and twisting side to side with heavy weights in your hands.    The lower back does not like to be twisted and stressed at the same time.

6) Psychological stress can really play a big part with back issues.  Part of this conclusion is suspicion, part of it is a highly coincidental historical pattern for me, and part of it is hearing it from other suspicious people.

Solutions

First off I am not a doctor and I am on my own journey to get much better.   I am much better than I was but not completely cured.  I am able to do all the sporty things I want.  I am not back up to running twelve miles but I am working on that.

1) Get diagnosed.  In my case, X-rays showed a very healthy spine.  I have never done an MRI which is much more definitive.   I was surprised that multiple practitioners suggested not getting one because the solution would be the same with or without one.   I am not sure I agree with the logic but since I am suspicious of things like MRIs that worked for me.   We are not all the same.  You could have any number of a conditions that could be misdiagnosed.  You could have a tumor.  You may actually have a damaged disk or a load of other things only a health practitioner would think of.   At least rule out the bad or obvious stuff.

2) Lessons from Pilates: 

- have a strong core.  there are muscles under muscles which govern balance and protect you in a  lot of interesting ways.   Particularly your stomach muscles.

- you have muscles you don’t even know exist.   They hurt when a pilates instructor makes you use them.  And they are very knowledgeable about finding subtle underlying weaknesses and strengthening them.

- one of the most effective things I do today is go for a 2-4 km walk and practice a particular technique I learned in Pilates.   It is difficult to describe with words and it took me a while to get it even with private lessons but here goes:

    Stand up tall, imagine you are being pulled up by a string from the top of your head.  You want to feel your lower abdomen contracting.    You will have to play with this to really get it.  You may have very weak abdominal muscles and you may not be able to feel it.   When I do this I feel any sensations of pain in my knee, foot or hip go away.   I am relieving the pressure on my spine by using the abdominal muscles.

3) Lessons from Jamie. (ART specialist/chiropractor)

- work with a coach.  in my case I really should have listened to her to get a running coach.

- laugh a lot

- don’t abuse your body.  “Every person in my practice pushed beyond a limit they knew they should not have crossed”

- stretch

- ART is painful but absolutely totally worth it.   Think of this as voluntary torture.

- Jamie kept asking me if the pain had traveled to my foot.  One day I did have pain in my foot and she said “Aha”!  That aha was a very strong clue to her that the source of my pain was because of a nerve in my lower spine and not from muscle or other type of trauma.   This is a chart similar to the one she showed me: dermatome chart

-genetics may play a role.  On the side where I feel piriformis pain I have a smaller hole through which my nerves run.  this means it takes less to irritate it.  In fact, once Jamie pointed this out to me I realized that for my entire life my left leg had always been a little draggy.   I frequently had a mild left hip or left knee pain which I realize now was from the pressure on this nerve.

4) Lessons from Nelson (Physcial Trainer)

- spend the money.  get a frickin Physical Trainer.  You will not do nearly as well on your own.

- strength training is AWESOME for rehab.

- improve very very slowly.   The one thing that Nelson did for me the best was to get me to be patient and slow down.  He often had me do a third of what I could.  

- if you feel pain, stop.  DO NOT PUSH through pain.  Those badass boys that say “no pain no gain” all have so much scar tissue they can hardly function now.   Finding how much you can push is a matter of experience and training.

- I actually loathed going to see Nelson because it did hurt and it was really really hard,  but afterwards I felt sooooo good and the benefits of one session lasted for days.

- I was shocked how weak my body had become and also shocked how much more I could do.

5) go see a massage therapist.   There are a lot of bad ones out there so do not be afraid to shop around.   Even Nelson, the very careful physical trainer went to see them when he went a  little too far.

6) Do not listen to people, even health practitioners trying to tell you you are old so you are going to have to live with it.   That may be true at some point, but that point is definitely not at 56 years old.

Other things to try

I have not tried Osteopathy or Foundation Training

[zedf999]

Portugal III

Once again I am back in Portugal (for the third time).  The storms of 2016 are behind me.   Rain storms.   Snow storms.  Political storms.  Death.  Pain and suffering.

In actuality a lot of good stuff happened.  The snow storm was fun.   The rain storms forced me to spend a few memorable nights with good friends.  The political storms woke a lot of sleepy apathetic people from their slumbers.   My mom really was done with this existence and wanted to move on and I had some precious last moments with her I would not take back.   And the back pain and suffering is mostly over and dealt with.   And I met a lot of really great friends and family I had not seen in a really long time.

Onwards!

I have a lot to be excited about, not the least of which is being reunited with my family.  It is good to be back. 

My perception of America has been altered quite a bit.   I feel freer here than there and I am struggling to express why.   America feels highly controlled.   The amount of stuff you can buy is impressive and there is an amazing renaissance culture in the Silicon Valley and a gritty liveliness in LA.   Seattle will always be an enigma for me but I was surprised to feel REALLY uncomfortable just driving along I-5 where too many people I have known died.  It was my first real big city experience and I have loads of pivotal memories from there.    But I always feel like I am in The Matrix in America.  Or something like that.  I have been accused of being paranoid and in my younger years maybe I really was.     Why do I not feel that way in Portugal?   To be honest I don’t know but I feel like I have been freed from a cage.   I have no agenda or interest in disparaging America,  but it is curious.

[zedf999]

Escape From America

It is a good time to be an American expatriot.   Trump and all.

I am going back to my beloved Portugal and my beloved wife and children and cats and dogs and the brilliant friends we have come to love there.

I am really hoping this is the last time I have to leave Portugal because of a job change.   The last two Decembers have been horrible.   The companies I have worked for just cut me off in abrupt unexpected ways.  I would take that personally but it is an industry standard technique in the US.   It’s horrible, mean and dirty and they don’t do it that way in Europe because they are civilized.   I have come to see America as backwards in many ways.  I used to think America was number one but it isn’t true now if it ever was.

Europe has long since been using chips in banking/credit cards.  They don’t understand the stripe.  Except for those strange tourists that bring them in.

The great battle for national health care in the US has long been in place there.   Its far cheaper and better.

They have mostly banned GMOs.  Not because of beliefs and opinions but because they respect science.   They are very good at governing based on science.   In the US it’s all about money and getting away with whatever you can.   The CDC is basically an arm of the pharmaceutical industry which appears to be trying to kill you.  The FDA is largely there for the benefit of corporations.   The Republican party has become the party of Big Money,  Christian zealots trying to outsmart and out-populate the rest of the country for Jesus.   The Democratic party has largely become an extension of Wall Street so Big Money has it working for it both ways.   And if you look behind the curtain, which you probably don’t want to do, you will find the Federal Reserve which is not a government institution running the country.   He who owns the gold rules.   You will also find “Dark Projects” funded to the tune of trillions of dollars by tax payer money.   You will also find Eisenhower’s Military-Industrial-Pharmaceutical complex.  America is pretty close to a failed state.   Government is broken.  The Constitution has been trampled on and is in practice dead.   All that is left is for investors to realize in full that the emperor has no clothes and there is no real money left.  The rape of America is almost done.

Europe is not perfect but in a lot of ways it beats the crap out of American insanity.    Critical thinking is normal there.   The intelligentsia in America gets brutally shoved aside by talk show hosts and conflict panels and PR campaigns.   I would unequivocally state that the vast majority of people cannot tell shit from shinola.   And not because people aren’t trying but because the bar to separate the wheat from the chaff has become incredibly high and time consuming.   The fox is in the hen house.  There are Leprechauns everywhere.

‘Nuff said.

[zedf999]

2017

Today is the 1st of January 2017.   My mother passed away and she is glad to be done with this world and the sickness of cancer.   I cannot say the dying process I witnessed was pleasant to watch.   It is disturbing.  But I am glad her suffering is done and from that viewpoint it is indeed a Happy New Year.

Death by cancer is mostly unnecessary.  If you have a loved one with cancer  please have them review https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/category/videos/  and https://www.cancertutor.com/.   There you will find many interviews with scientists and doctors who have had success in curing cancer and lots of free information about how to deal with it.

I was unable to convince a close friend or my mother to give anything there a serious look.   They both died in the most expected way following normal cancer treatments.

We are living in an age full of bad information, mis-information and dis-information.   The lawyers are involved.  Pharmaceutical companies are involved.   PR companies are involved.  Doctor’s are involved.  But mostly it is just us.   We allow it and lack the willingness to look outside the box even to our death.   Which is a lot of commitment to being stupid.

It is hard for anyone to see a healing gem that might help and if they do see it it is hard to trust and even then it is hard to go against the strong winds of influence and financial coercion surrounding cancer treatment.    Your health insurance will likely cancel ALL financial support if you are not with the chemo/radiation program.   You will be threatened, called an idiot and be scared the shit out of by doctors if you don’t do it their way.   And family members will likely be against you.   Fear of death makes for very bad decisions.

If you do decide to step outside the box and try something alternative then you are truly on your own unless you are in the hands of a competent doctor.   There are so many anecdotes, personal stories and helpful suggestions from personal contacts that a cancer patient has no idea what to do with.   You need a guide, a doctor and clues you can trust.

What you wont hear is that over 80% of all oncologists say they would not do chemo.   It is ugly and nasty.   It destroys your immune system.  It makes you very very weak and will likely kill you.  Here are some comparisons between orthodox and alternative treatments: https://www.cancertutor.com/compare/.   

I am no doctor myself and cannot offer any substantive advice, except that there appears to be well substantiated alternatives to the cancer treatment industry and it behooves one to seek them out.   

My take away from years of trying to be that helpful guy and finding out as much as possible to save the people I know is that “modern” cancer treatments are medieval, largely ineffectual and highly lucrative.   Alternative treatments offer some significant possibilities and I have personally met late stage cancer patients who have recovered using alternative treatments.   I think it is a fatal mistake to not acknowledge the existence of alternative treatments and it is equally fatal to close your eyes and follow orthodox doctors blindly.

[zedf999]

Xmas 2016

Merry Xmas Everybody!

There has been an unbelievable amount of turbulence this year.   A new job,  my mother on her deathbed, Trump as president,  Syria craziness, Brexit.    I am really sad to see these artists go: David Bowie, George Michael, Prince, Mohammed Ali, Zsa Zsa Gabor.   All in all it feels like a year of death and tragedy but mostly change.

Death happens, but so does life.   One door closes.  And another opens.   There are silver linings in every tragedy and one of the best is a greater awareness.   Tragedy, death and disaster wake us up and make us reach beyond our comfy little dens to offer us a chance to be bigger and better than we were before.

Christmas is special.   It is a pause from all of that.    I love breaking out of my comfort zone for the purpose of giving more and having a good reason to tell people I love and care about them.   In my world it is too easy to be lost in doing and not appreciating or seeing.   Hello. 

[zedf999]

Shadows

I am currently sitting in the Lisbon airport waiting to hop on a plane back to California.    The Bay Area is the happy hunting ground for what I do for a living and since yet another start up has failed I find myself in a very familiar place of ambiguity.   I have no job or contract yet but have interviewed enough to know the odds are very high and may be able to start when I get back immediately.

It is sad to go but I am also excited when change happens which is what kept me taking contracts in so many different places before.   In my circle of family and friends I am probably the most transient of them all in multiple ways.    Not changing is actually scary to me because it feels like I am getting comfortable and the feeling of stagnation is a monster under my bed.  Intellectually I can see that that isn’t necessarily the case with other people, it appears to be my private little neurosis.   Maybe others feel this way.  

I am sad to part with my family for this time and we will be reunited.  It is a common pattern in Lisbon for German fathers to leave their wife and children cyclically to bring in the buckos.  The last five years have been very domesticated for me in spite of living in 3 different houses and I have really come to appreciate the constant glow of love and growth in that arena.   Now it almost scares me to back into my historical norm. 

My mother is in the last stages of her life and it is not so happy for anybody.   I will go back home and hopefully be able to let her know what she really meant to me.  Everybody loves her.  When I was little my friends wished she was their Mom.

This life in between the known and the unknown has been both a terror and a thrill.   Things just seem to work out most of the time so I have gained a little trust in just letting go.   My daughter would be proud of me and start singing that Frozen song: “Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore .....”

Alright, it’s boarding time.   I must continue my journey into the shadows between life and death, success and failure.

To Be Continued ....

[zedf999]

I met a great human being last Friday in the Azores. He is the owner of http://tada.pt a project aimed at exposing tourists to eco living in structures he designed for maximum strength volume and livibilty. After sleeping in one a couple of nights I am sold.

[zedf999]

Trump

Social media is all about people putting in their two cents about politics at the moment. I don’t want to miss out so here is mine.

Pros (see http://www.npr.org/2016/11/10/501597652/fact-check-donald-trumps-first-100-days-action-plan).

- now is a really really good time to realize that you have more power with how you live than with how you vote. Buy clean food. Use alternative energy. Dont buy from slave labor. Don’t smoke. Don’t buy drugs. Stop buying so much shit. Do those things and all the parasites have nothing left to eat.

- NAFTA and TPP are dead. This alone will be super fantabulous. The end result is that we will not be enabling transnationals to dictate our national decisions and we and Europe will not have GMOs shoved down our throats (as easily). Fuck you Bayer/Monsanto.

- a lot more illegal people will go home. Any nation that doesn’t protect it’s borders is inviting trouble. People coming in the hard (normal) way should be the norm.

- reduced taxes for everyone and the rich pay their fair share. ( from his website ). Doesn’t that sound a lot like Bernie? https://www.donaldjtrump.com/policies/tax-plan .

- obamacare will die. The one part of obamacare I liked was that people with existing conditions were not left behind. The other parts just made the health insurance companies rich. And the insurance companies only support a medical paradigm which is truly fucked up beyond belief. And people like my brother with small businesses will not be FORCED to pay. We should all be paying for a national system that has been proven to work in Canada and Europe and has the least financial impact on the mostest.

- national security will improve. I am in the security industry at the moment and you probably have no clue about the all out war going on in cyberland. But it is bad. Really bad. And yes the Chinese and the Russians are out to get us. It is not imaginary or conspiratorial. There are long lists of names of attackers..

- a very LOUD message of the people is that the establishment aint workin. I really want to see the establishment die. Obama was a centrist. Not a leftie. Which means that he did a lot of good but a lot of people did not get helped. He was crippled by the pubes of course so it is difficult to criticize too much.

- the public illusion of good relations with Russia will improve.

- common core will die.  YES!!!!!  As a parent this is truly a joyous thought.  This was an unbelievably bad idea that confused teachers, students and parents.   Parents can choose where their kids can go to school.

- guns will not be taken away.   This is one area where I part ways with lefty politics.   Australia proved that people just use different weapons.   And if you make a law about not having guns, only the lawless will have them and people cannot protect themselves.  If you are unfortunate enough to live in an area where bandits and thugs rule this becomes an obvious idea.   People need to be able to protect themselves.   And hunt.  Having said that I really do not want anyone to be packing micro-nukes in their back yard.

Cons: - racism, paranoia, misogyny, isolationism, and vulgarity all get a facelift. It is a good day for the worst of human nature.

- Trump could easily be the guy to get us into multiple very nasty wars.

- there is no president who is going to control the financial horror show that comes when investors fully realize the US is flat broke. In a a way I am glad that Trump is the one to be there when it happens.

- a lot of innocent good muslims and mexicans are going to get hurt.

- the Pubes will likely get their way about abortions.

- Citizens United will live another day and continue the decay of America.

- America is no longer a republic or a democracy. It is a “Corporate Oligarchy”. It has been that way for decades but nobody seems alarmed enough to do anything about it. There are TV shows to watch you know. This is likely to get worse.

- America had a choice between good and half-evil. The good was Bernie and the half-evil was Trump.