zeke-ewan - Tumblr blog

[zeke-ewan]

Sometimes I dream that I'm the most important person in the world.

Then I wake up and reality sets in and I may not be the most important person in the world, but I'm the protagonist of my own life. And if I don't make sure I behave like the protagonist, then it might end up like an Austin Powers movie with me playing my own villain.

Still a work in progress, but isn't that life? If I was finished I'd be ready for whatever's next, and unfortunately I require proof of life haha what a terribly frustrating paradox. Pascal's wager works both ways, in my opinion.

[zeke-ewan]

IF YOU'RE ON CENTRELINK PLEASE GO CHECK YOUR REPORTING DATE

Mine changed, yours probably did too! Why? Well, those real people who work at Centrelink need a break too, the poor people.

I don't care if this gets shared but please if you're on Welfare, go check your reporting date and SET AN ALARM TO REPORT IF YOU NEED IT.

If you have a friend on Centrelink please just check if they know <3

[zeke-ewan]

If they think we are able to ruin industries, why do most of us not have even a mortgage yet? Wouldn't we have come for the "Monopoly Larp" most of them are playing, first?

Or... Are we not trying hard enough? Rally the troops, how do we ruin the housing market? Oh wait. It's already in effing tatters lol and barely any of us are even playing yet.

[zeke-ewan]

Anyone else remember "The Guild"?

Wonderful web series that I hope helped Felicia Day skyrocket to more screens. I have honestly spent so much time listening to "Do You Wanna Date My Avatar" on repeat

It was around the same time I got hooked into deep-cut pop cult-ure online, and honestly it was pretty wild but also wholesome.

Another notable nodstalgia to Parry Gripp - "Girl at the Video Game Store", a particularly relatable song back when I was a girl who worked at a video game store. Now I'm a guy who worked at a video game store lol.

Where was I going with this? Oh right! The thing about "The Guild" that made it so easily relatable, was that they never to my memory actually mentioned "the game" they were playing. I personally was trying to de-toxify my WoW relationship at the time, and felt seen and related to.

So with what I'm writing, and I'm sorry if you've tried to encourage me to work on something else, and I thank you for trying to help motivate me. Part of this arduous journey is learning when I should stay the course and when I should veer laterally to something entirely different.

The reason I made this post, is that what I am writing involves a person with an undisclosed mental health condition. And I desire to keep that vague, on purpose.

One reason is just like The Guild, I want people to be able to relate to the protagonist, who is ideally, a quality representation of the struggles of mental health, without excluding those who resonate with a particular symptom, but haven't "collected" that diagnosis.

Diagnosis didn't save me; support did. And I have no idea what kind of support I actually have, I can only assess what is in front of me. So what am I going to do with that?

Hopefully, make good art.

So if you'd like to see something in a protagonist who wants to show the world just what we can do... well, perhaps pop a reply, or an ask. What am I wanting you to "ask"? Well, I've actually got plenty of questions to see us going for a while, so if you don't mind, please let me know what experience of living with severely-affecting mental health conditions would you like to see in a story? I have no idea if I will even finish a book or pilot pitch, but I'm sure as heck going to start. Care to join me? Then please, imagine, feel, think, deduct, and send the ask. What's the worst that could happen? I promise if you're respectful, I'll be respectful.

And if no one takes me up on this? Well, I'll just keep on writing, and maybe you'll see this as part of an article or something. Oh well ^_^ Thanks for reading, if you did. I'm hesitant to post anything on here that is actual content, as recently everything I've thought of has been turned into something already, and I'm unable to draw true correlation of course, but sometimes I suppose I should keep my cards to myself, lest there be spying eyes algorithms trying to nick my ideas lol. Or was that the last of my recent paranoid episode finally fading out? I sure hope so.

[zeke-ewan]

The best thing about being polyamorous is:

Hall Passes are completely different, just require more communication because it might actually happen lol, assuming the desired parties are also consenting XD

[zeke-ewan]

you aren’t an idiot for giving them a chance, a second chance, or a third chance. you aren’t an idiot for trusting them. you aren’t an idiot for wishing things had gone differently. you aren’t an idiot for expecting them to treat you the way you treated them.

[zeke-ewan]

Santa can you hear me?

Please if you're granting wishes, I only want some basic income until I manage to finish any of my creative works, and ideally someone gentle to teach me what I "need" to know to do the thing.

But if I can't wish anything for myself, or if I only have 1 wish: please look after my partner and my mum, and make it the best holiday for them ever, somehow.

[zeke-ewan]

I am a major cinephile which means I just love movies and shows please it's not a nasty thing to fear.

What does that mean? I will likely remind you of your past, because I'm studying it presently to see how it affects the future.

I dare you to try to change my mind. Literally, please lol. If I incite anything in you other than fear and concern, tell me your thoughts!

[zeke-ewan]

Does anyone know if Jack Black is nice?

I was just listening to some Tenacious D, and had a wild idea for a "Pick of Destiny" Reboot, made for the ones who were brought up with origin stories like Kickapoo.

[zeke-ewan]

If I could one day be compared to Anthony Burch for story-telling,

well, then I'll know I've surprised some people, and hopefully, inspired some people. What a dream?

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, and you enjoy Table Top RolePlay Games/D&D etc, please do yourself a favour and go listen to Dungeons and Daddies (*not a BDSM podcast), wherever you get your podcasts lol.

If I had wishes that would be granted, I would love to be a guest on that podcast. I've got like.. 10 original characters I could use haha. If only <3 I would even be ENTHUSIASTICALLY willing to play a guest villain.

P.S. If you're not into D&D stuff, he also wrote 95% of Borderlands 2. Honestly amazing. I wish Tiny Tina's Wonderland was an RPG like Fable instead of a shooter, I want spells, not guns. Please, world? Bonus points if Andy Samberg is there again omigosh I'd love to play TTRPG with him and Wanda Sykes, though I'm not sure if Wanda would have the patience to hang out with someone like me. I'd love to get to know her, see if she's nice, cos she says a lot of mean things but I'm always here for understanding intention, rather than judging by behaviour, when given the chance <3

Also would love to play games with Beth May, Will Campos, Matt Wilson, and all of the crew.

[zeke-ewan]

Gate-keeping legal cannabis is systemic racism, and I'll be really surprised and impressed if you can change my mind. P.S. I'm white and racism affects white folks too, gentle reminder, this is why we all need to be on the same page... somehow..?

Hey I'm no Seth Rogan but I'd love to imagine a world where the rest of the world sees the sheer volume of tax dollars being collected from legalised cannabis where it has been legalised, and decides that it would be an amazing way to fix huge deficits in national debts, however that works. I'm no expert, just been reading lots of peer-reviewed studies instead of news articles when I can help it.

I try my best to 'trust the experts' but over and over again they are constantly not listening to my vast experience of actually living with myself for my whole life up to now, or worse, contradicting each other.

I really don't understand how the health professionals keep playing based on the stigma of cannabis and its relationship to racism.

Whenever I ask for a referral to speak to a cannabis doctor - to see if I would even be a suitable candidate based on my historical use of the damn stuff - I get a different answer!

"No, it's too expensive, just get the illegal stuff" - with respect, I'm terrified that if I were to use the illegal stuff I may end up in the prison system of which I am mortally terrified.

"It interacts with your medication and causes paranoia." OKAY I'll deal with the paranoia too then! No medication comes without side effects, please ask anyone AFAB what the side effects of their contraceptive medications are, I'm willing to bet you'd prefer they stay on them if they can, so we don't have to talk about those pesky petty abortion laws - which in case anyone forgot, does not truly stop those who need them from accessing them, it only stops those who NEED them from accessing them SAFELY.

The ones that really grind my gears are the ones who stigmatise cannabis use purely due to the fact that the product they are attempting to trial was obtained illegally.

This unfortunately is also easily transferrable to anti-abortion laws. Keeping something illegal despite uncountable scientific studies identifying its potential across vastly different circumstances, is conservative and naïve in my personal opinion.

Also, my health care treating team has been throwing around terms like bipolar, mania, schizophrenia et al. And I'm here to say that I'd be willing to gamble that I can still function with paranoia, because I've been acting like I'm not seeing subliminal messages that seem targeted directly at me but I am working hard to not let that impact the rest of my life, because I'm also an avid atheist and require proof or at least evidence to support wild claims.

Call it Schrodinger's bluff - I'm either biding my time for the best job in the world with support and mentoring and learning and nnnnnnnngh finally some effing money for my work OR I'm formulating one of the most interesting books ever to be published... one day... Only time (and further research) will tell me which! Or, purque no los dos? SIENTO - purque no los todos. And that is about 50% of the Spanish I remember ^_^;

Oh also I forgot to mention exactly why I think cannabis discrimination is inherently systemic racism. Well that's because Adam already explained it perfectly for Buzzfeed with Adam Ruins Everything. Honestly, I don't think he ruined anything. I can't understand why "learning why/how it works" is possibly ruining it. I desperately want to know how the whole world works! Alas I need to continue practicing moderation and balance. Wish me luck haha

Glhf xx

[zeke-ewan]

I would like to respectfully disagree that this is something that 'bigots' post, as I strive to be far from bigoted, however if I am doing it wrong I would welcome some insight from someone who believes they know better, but please bring facts and compelling, fluid points, because otherwise it's a rant, not a debate/discussion ^_^

Hi I'm fat and fantastic. My partner is skinny and both subjectively and objectively, also fantastic. We both have problems shopping for clothes and dealing with temperature fluctuations. Fatphobia isn't only dangerous for the fat, gentle reminder <3

Fatphobia is why doctors continuously deny my partner's desperate pleads for help to put on and keep on a bit more weight.

Fatphobia is why my mother hasn't yet had her hip replacement despite the fact that her hip is literally decomposing inside her body because the 'risks' of surgery are 'too high' while she is 'so fat'. I argue that the risk of death from the necrosis in her body is a higher risk. I am not a doctor, I just over-think everything. Also, she has asked for medicinal assistance to lose weight, and been frequently denied, expecting her to drop life-long weight unsupported with a busted hip. And no money. How, exactly?!

Every time a doctor brings up a BMI test for anyone's health, I cry a little inside. I thought the latest science had debunked the BMI test as harmful and obsolete years ago. Please cite proof I'm wrong if you feel the need to 'correct me'. Proof not needed for speculation but please be constructive.

I so desperately want to trust the experts but wow do they really need to start also trusting their patients/clients, because with respect, I've been dealing with me a heck of a lot longer, and when a doctor allows me to explain what I have been witnessing, experiencing, and why I think it happened, they allow me to get closure on the hypotheses I've developed by myself.

The bunny hopped away, but if anyone interacts with me for this I will happily engage - just trying to practice moderation ^_^

Glhf xx

We would be in a significantly better place as a people if “old” and “fat” could be neutral descriptions of fact and not seen as insults by default.

[zeke-ewan]

IMHO: David Tennant as 'the Bridge Doctor'; I think it was a good move. In this essay I will...

Talk at length about this whole thing, if invited.

For now, I will share main points, and if anyone wants more, you know what to do - it's tumblr. This isn't super long but I still hate taking up dash space, so:

I am inspired to write this because I watched this video ... ("The REAL Reason David Tennant is Back as Doctor Who" by Joe Brennan on Youtube). And I would like to politely add my own opinion, as I am one of the "nostalgic fanboys" mentioned in the video, but I also consider myself able to learn and change perspectives, as I highly value the adaptive nature of scientific research.

"The News" to which I am responding, is that David Tennant will play The Doctor, while we await Ncuti Gatwa who is working on another project. Some opinions are concerned this is too much fan service, despite "Tentwo" being somewhat of a placeholder, as Ncuti is presently too busy to film Who.

Key points of which I think when considering this move:

If you really have selected the perfect person for the role, wouldn't it make more long-term sense to hold their role for them while they make the necessary accommodations? I can surely say that if someone headhunted and offered to change my life with the role of a life time (though I think if it were my first role, I'd have another character in mind for myself, if I were able to make wishes haha) I sure would need to make some necessary adjustments!

Joining something as phenomenal and endless as Doctor Who has got to be one of the biggest honours in Sci-Fi, pop culture, etc, along with a number of other popular or obscure titles that have endured as long (I would like to nod to Star Trek, Star Wars, Red Dwarf). And adjusting one's life to accommodate filming such a title would take much preparation.

Personally I welcome the nostalgic nod to the anniversary with the 'Fan service doctor'. Sometimes, when able to show growth through throw-back, nostalgia is okay, for a moment. In a world where the nostalgeneration (my term, anyone a fan?) who watched our parents fear the technology then integrate it into our entire society. The millennials were the ones who grew up riding bikes then couldn't afford our own cars, so please give us a break when we get excited to see hopeful faces from our upbringing, or at least me, if I am alone in this feeling.

I was promised success upon completion of school, then failed school, over and over and over. But I have fond memories of watching Doctor Who with my mother, who remembered it a bit growing up, despite not being an avid Sci-fi fan.

I could explain my points further, except I am attempting to practice sleep hygiene and it's already past my bed time, so I must away.

I think it's okay to take a breather with some gentle nostalgia to celebrate a monolithic anniversary, so that we can say that we didn't miss that huge milestone, but still keep the role open for the perfect next candidate.

Personally, I'd rather wait for the dream role than rush into an ill-suited one. Sure would help the wait, knowing what's at the end of the tunnel, but at this point, I'm not even sure what I'm 'waiting on' any more. And I'm determined to make this waiting room as interesting as possible - when the main quest is out of reach, do side-quests! I just hope the main quest becomes clear again soon, even if I have to write the dang code myself, lol.

[zeke-ewan]

we’re gonna make your dick so fake buddy

[zeke-ewan]

I think I have the ability to see any potential innuendo possible.

I am going through second puberty in my early 30s and I've snorted at so many inopportune times, it's always been a problem.

But I figured out how to monetise that.

If you're writing or designing something and you'd like to check if there's any way it could be seen as a joke - run it by me. If there's a joke there, I'd wager I can spot it, maybe 9/10 times.

Comedy is my hyper fixation; if there is a cheeky joke in your content, I'll be surprised if I don't find it o7

For example, if I had laid my eyes upon the logo for the Australia Women's Network when Scomo was ready to launch, I could've made a decision whether to let him know the logo's got a big dick on it, or I could've chosen to hold my tongue because it's almost a secret nod to trans women so like... I guess I just wanna be on the inside of the jokes XD

[zeke-ewan]

Hi, Austin Powers Fandom, please lend me your open minds... *ducks*

If anyone shows even the slightest actual direct to me hint of interest in a huge-mega Austin Powers fanfic/fan-made 4th movie... I will begin drabbling my ideas for what it looks like. Tags: queer, woke, hilarious. I've been waiting on Mike Myers to do it for 20 years, and 50 shades happened, so like. What's left to lose? No one gives a crap about me now, so why not write some nonsense?

But I also have a superhero comic/series idea.

And I have an idea for a reality TV show that could be compelling and intriguing, dramatic and accountable, and also help reduce homelessness? But wholesome, too?

Got plenty of inspiration though, just really wanting some direct assurance that one of these ideas is something I should roll with. Because left to my own devices, I will make none of them XD

[zeke-ewan]

I think we all (and like, I mean people who belong on tumblr, that's what I mean by "we") agree that we don't even want to take it from them! We just wish the luxury of not having to choose between life-saving medication or quality of life-retaining good food was not so viciously defended by those who have far more than the rest, yeah?

I personally don't even want to rob any "haves" of their money, I would like to earn it. I'm just having trouble putting together my portfolio, but I was going to start doing pump-up posts of the "public figures" who have inspired me over the years (and most recently also). Hopefully that will get the creative inspo focused on that book idea I'm mulling over.

Can I get an Amen