zennagreenwitch

[zennagreenwitch]

I just want to know who this benefits.

Another Kremlin policy to kill Americans put in place by MAGA traitors.

[zennagreenwitch]

I have an almost-year-and-a-half-old toddler and honestly? This is pretty much what it’s like. The main difference between cat care and young toddler care is that the toddler requires more frequent poop cleaning than the once-daily box scooping sessions.

Likes to push things onto the floor

Communicates with wordless sound, growls, facial expressions, and headbutts

Bonus: caretakers will often be able to accurately interpret these communications while outsiders remain confused

Will stand directly on your boob if given half a chance

Likely to bite to get attention

Doesn’t understand personal space

Enjoys smacking you and then running away

Randomly lays on the floor and yells

Develops aversions to previously loved foods for no discernible reason

Desperately wants to be On Top of things

Sometimes enjoys being picked up and carried around, but may also squirm and yell if touched

Wants in your lap right when you realize you have to pee

Will not allow you to use the computer by yourself

“WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!?!”

i was thinking about this (pointlessly) in the car: i don't like the term "cat mom" or "cat owner" to describe the relationship between my cats and i. im not a mom figure to them, nor do i even see them that way+it conjures up imagery of awful, humorless millennials. "cat owner" is legally true but too cold and distant, making it seem like i dominate them instead of fawning over them. im more of a cat.....respecter. i dont know!

i just got done "yelling" at shelley (she doesnt understand me so i just "babababa!!! >:(" in a mad voice) for clawing the carpet and showed her to use the cardboard scratcher by pretending to use it myself. this is not motherhood or ownership its some new stupider thing

[zennagreenwitch]

Bilbo, physically wrestling his auctioned-off belongings back from Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: “Now I understand why Thorin was Like That.”

Bilbo: wait I get it now. The dragon is a metaphor for greed and power. We need to ‘defeat’ it by being humble when we get the treasure.

Thorin: Bilbo, for the last time, it’s a real dragon and it has my gold

[zennagreenwitch]

Nothing else quite replicates the functionality… but also, the new one costs way more than the lab can afford and no one will approve a grant for the new one because the old one works just fine and besides, you can’t migrate the old data to the new system because they’re incompatible.

It’s sort of like how you get new editions of textbooks that universities automatically adopt because the old versions are out of print now but the only difference is three diagrams, the challenge problems, and the QR code for the online homework software. Companies that sell textbooks and specialty lab equipment typically don’t make much off a given product- not that many people buy them in the first place, and then lots of people will pass them around and/or use them forever instead of buying new ones and making the graph go up. So they find ways to make people buy the new ones instead of maintaining the old ones.

You could also think of it like cars. Imagine if most people bought maybe one car their entire life and painstakingly maintained it- tuned it up and replaced worn parts, but didn’t buy a new one until the old one literally fell apart, like completely exploded or crushed by a falling piano. Car companies aren’t making money on new sales, not even when they add new features, because the old one drives fine and I don’t really NEED an iPod adapter. So, to combat this, car companies stop servicing older models. Well, fine, most people in this wacky made up hypothetical world are so opposed to buying a new car that they simply teach themselves to repair and maintain their vehicles. So the companies change the parts they use and stop producing the old ones to force people to upgrade their cars. Unfortunately, cars are so cost-prohibitively expensive that people with older models start trading old parts and teaching each other hacks to adapt the new parts.

We’re currently at the point where the metaphorical car companies are modifying roads so old cars no longer operate on them.

abandonware should be public domain. force companies to actively support and provide products if they don't wanna lose the rights to them

[zennagreenwitch]

summer breaks are so wasted on 14 year olds what if i’m 24 and have lame fanfiction to write

[zennagreenwitch]

When a fic doesn’t fit my head canons but it’s well-written

[zennagreenwitch]

*wokely* tell me what genitals you have, stranger i just met

[zennagreenwitch]

You know the saying about how those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it?

Yeah, I don’t think it’s the “knowing” part.

[zennagreenwitch]

The last medication you took is now your wizard name, are you happy with it?

[zennagreenwitch]

[zennagreenwitch]

It’s a couples test because if you’re working with another person, you have to be an actual team. You have to be willing to patiently explain that this piece is peg A while that piece is peg B- see this one is a little longer and there’s only two but there’s like six of the other- or have them tell you that you need to wait to put shelf D into side Y because side X needs to go on first and also you are sitting on peg B. And I thought you grabbed the little packet of screws?

And some people really do not have the patience to explain or be explained to, and some people will just sit there waiting for the other person to take the lead, but others will fight over who’s in charge of the instructions, and some people like to dump the whole thing out like a puzzle while others keep everything neatly arranged in alphabetical order, and some people prefer to figure it out on their own and only consult the instructions when they get stuck while others go through the entire instructions sheet and take inventory of the parts- and contact customer service if missing anything-

It’s a good indicator of how well your personalities mesh, how well you work together, and can you patch things up when you hurt their feelings because they lost the little screw packet? Are you able to bounce ideas off each other when you realize that there’s no screwdriver? Did they make you feel stupid when you skipped a page and got confused?

Building flat pack furniture alone is easy and often satisfying. Building it with a platonic friend or roommate is like a team building exercise- not necessarily fun but not that bad. Building it with a romantic partner that you haven’t been with for all that long is possibly the grounds for your First Fight.

I have come to admit that my own toxic trait is that i DO hold a quiet disdain for people who think that putting flatpack furniture together is hard. Why is IKEA furniture in particular regarded as some Ultimate Test for Couples - "If you build it without killing each other, he's the one, haha!" ???? Like, listen, I get it, i've got a fuck'd wrist nowadays so I DO find that hammering peg A into slot B is considerably more difficult than it used to be, but the task ITSELF? It's like building lego, y'all. Except that at the end of it, you end up with not just some sort of miniature spaceship (admittedly very cool, if not particularly useful) but a functional and stylish side table. It's the perfect enrichment. I smashed together three Billy bookcases last summer with nothing but a screwdriver, a pencil, and the love in my heart, and I had the time of my life. Do you, too, not feel a thrill in your heart at the satisfying feeling of a cam lock twisting into place? Do not the tiny little crinkly bags of screws remind you of candy wrappers to be torn open and piled gleefully upon the floor, like a child at Halloween emptying your haul onto the living room carpet? Am I the freak, or are you? I am willing to accept the former but i die on this hill regardless

[zennagreenwitch]

i like the phrases "it's not for me," "it's not my thing," and "i'm not the target audience" because they're the most concise way to express "this thing that you enjoy has merits but idgaf about it" without being aggressive

[zennagreenwitch]

How many of these movies have you seen that people said “you haven’t seen [blank] yet??” to me about

[zennagreenwitch]

okay now I'm curious and I dunno if this is really such an archaic foreign thing to young people today or if I'm just out of touch

Please reblog, I'd love to see a lot of responses!

[zennagreenwitch]

i think fiction should be abolished. if yo uwrite about a character dying you should be put on trial in real life for murder