Zeph | she/her 28 | ♏️🏳️🌈 official™️ zookeepericon by Bun! | twitter if u want
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good things will happen 🧿
things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿
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ive gotten so much mileage out of this tweet. every time i see something on the internet that makes me mad i just think to myself "people in real life: hey man how's it going" and i keep it pushing
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i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least
#he also posts a lot of really cool and informative animal videos#he's one of the only people on tiktok i care about tbh
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they would NOT fucking have communication skills that good
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you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.
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”Oh I’m not leaving”
(siblings)
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christmas in less than a week no snow temperatures regularly hitting above 50°. IN MASSACHUSETTS
#we had snow on halloween and then none again since#it's not even getting below freezing til next week??#im in the midwest i dont think this is supposed to happen
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Humor me, Tumblr,
Your extremely nerfed fairy godmother appears and offers to magically resurrect one discontinued corporate food item for you, in perpetuity.
What do you ask her for?
Personally I'm still pining for peanut chexmix.
#girl scout double dutch cookies#they only sold them for the one (1) year I was super active in girl scouts but FUCK they were good
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Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp) Monk Must practice a martial art Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice) Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government) Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.
#druid for sure#i'm technically a county employee so i guess warlock too#and wizard with a zoo animal tech degree
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what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid
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I fell in love with this cute little fella... red-crested turaco 😍




#animals#I LOVE TURACOS SO MUCH#the guinea turaco back at school was the best bird I loved him so much
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look I'm a lesbian but I 100% agree men need to dress sluttier and you know I'm being selfless bc I get nothing out of this. dress sluttier it's good for you
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“don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years
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