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wait actually, sick and twisted au where parse is actually british and he got his nickname because his juniors teammates (jack included) were mocking how he called "pass" across the ice

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rare check please post incoming:

holster trying to prank jack: oh man I'm so hungry I could eat Kent Parson

jack:

jack: what

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the last thing u see before getting eviscerated at beer pong… might as well give up now

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best boys

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in which youtuber nursey keeps each of his videos on individual memory sticks and youtuber dex loses his mind

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Bobby/Alicia/Ransom 🧐

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Imagine someone trying to egg jack on, saying bad stuff about his mother and bad bob, watching the hockey game, gets wind of it, his voice booming over the ice like “wHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT MY WIFE YOU FUCKTRUCK”

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JOHN RICH & THE BIG PICTURE ✏️

CHAPTER 6: Harmless Little Doodles John Rich desperately grasps for control—over his career, his art, and his feelings for a certain hunky movie star. Maybe all at once? read update here!

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freshman: it's so cool that the alumni visit so often, even the nhl players!

dex: ...nhl players? like plural??

freshman: yeah! i had no idea that alexei mashkov even went to samwell, but the goodie bags he gave us are really cool! they even had signed game pucks!

dex:

dex: uh, first of all, tater didn't go to samwell. second of all, where did you say he's giving out these goodie bags?

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Holster goes into Samwell thinking he’s gonna hate Jack because Jack’s soooo talented at hockey and soooo well connected and soooo rich but he actually hates Jack because Holster mentioned SNL and Jack was like “Oh. Is that … a class”

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SAMWELL MEN'S HOCKEY TEAM WHO NEEDS TO COME GET THIS MAN

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who from smh is most likely to go on snl bc my initial thought is holster

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occasionally someone will like one of my old posts on here and i'll click on it and be transported 4 years into the past to a golden age of omgcp shitposting

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holster tells jack that bad bob is his and ransom’s hall pass and jack calls his parents to tell them that family weekend is cancelled this year actually. yeah like for the whole school.

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Camilla Collins was Shitty's first kiss back when he was 14 and when she & Jack start dating Shitty's like I've never felt closer to you brah and Jack's like. can you put on pants before you say stuff like that

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holster at his first family weekend: woah, bad bob, more like bad bod! how is he still in such good shape?

jack: i'm begging you never say that again

holster: do you mind if i go talk to your dad?

jack: yes i fucking do