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hi.
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with finals and holidays approaching, my activity will be considerably lower. i’ll still be here to plot and chat, but writing will have to wait for the days when i’m not packed with university stuff.
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𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚈𝙰𝙻 ⸺ 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚈 it untangled behind the cloying veneer that made the very lifeblood of her existence. there was no hindrance to resolute footsteps, stomping towards the catacombs where the dead weaved and had golden hair. but a cry departed frostbitten lips once she was there, a strangled lament at the desolation. SO MANY OF THEM, YET SO EMPTY. ‘ wake up ! ‘ an unexpected echo, vehement, rancorous, complemented fingers tightening around the iron railing above her husband’s hoard. nothing. ‘ wake up right now ! i promise ⸺ i swear i will take you home, but you have to wake up . . . you have to. ‘ she crumbled underneath the futility of her endeavor, SINKING AND DROWNING IN SALTWATER. nothing. was there anyone left to be saved ? ‘ you have to. ‘
@bledyshka
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SHE!
#good morning to you and marya always#i'm most likely not going to be active today since i'm quite busy but as you already know#i'm always down for plotting and chatting !#have an amazing day <3
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( @epistemos ) WRITES : ‘ aloe, holly, hollycock, hydrangea ‘ BOTANICAL HEADCANONS ⁽ ᴬᶜᶜᴱᴾᵀᴵᴺᴳ ⁾
ALOE : how does your muse handle grief ?
this truly depends on the context. there are times when her grief is poignant, loud : she will cry her heart out, scream, throw things. if a particular situation that’s causing her grief is something she perceives as an injustice to her or someone else ( this is especially evident in the case of yelenas and vasilisas ), she’ll demand answers and may even turn aggressive. then again, oftentimes her grief is silent and suffocating : she’ll bite the inside of her cheek and ache in silence, away from everyone and everything. eventually, in part due to her military training, she’ll bury that grief in the deepest corners of her heart and live on with it.
HOLLY : how strong is your muse’s sense of intuition ? are they aware of it ? do they ever fear that it is only paranoia ?
she’s aware of the fact that she’s got a strong sense of intuition, and it’s saved her life many times. however, marya’s more prone on relying on her rationale. she assesses each situation very carefully, breaks it apart into the tiniest of pieces only to put it back together with as many possible outcomes as she can think of.
HOLLYCOCK : how strong is your muse’s sense of ambition ? what’s something they strive for in life ?
her sense of ambition more often than not translates into stubbornness. if she’s striving for something in particular, she will stop at nothing until she succeeds - even if that feat proves to be dangerous or self - destructive. as for her life goals, to put it simply, she craves peace and a sense of belonging.
HYDRANGEA : how much does your muse value communication in their relationships with others ? are they prone to being misunderstood ?
she values communication in personal relationships of whatever kind. however, she’s known for being quick to jump to conclusions about others or their thoughts solely because of her brain spitting out all these different possibilities. as for marya herself, she’s definitely misunderstood often in a sense where she’s pretty brusque and can therefore give a wrong impression or say something in a way where it doesn’t overlap with the actual context.
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𝐀 𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐆𝐀𝐌 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝚂𝙾𝙸𝙻 𝙵𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳 𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝚄𝙿𝙾𝙽 scalding flesh, drenched in the heavy odor of interminable battles. gaze, unyielding, followed the labyrinthine intagli of her trusted dagger as it scythed through rotting sinew and artery ⸻ death bloomed from the silvered chasm, BOWING FINAL AND RED BEFORE ITS CATALYST. marya soared, ferine, alert, but what remained were only the inarticulate bellows of her soldiers and her own cadenced breath. SUDDENLY, PAIN ⸻ TANGIBLE, THROBBING as it shattered her clavicle, blood already saturating the fabric of her uniform. marya staggered behind the nearest trunk, sinking to her knees, palm trembling and pressing onto marred shoulder. somewhere in the blurring imago she caught a figure, indiscernible, ‘ bandages —— quickly. ‘ chin motioned towards the leather pouch around her waist before falling to the side, just barely holding onto daylight.
@embrosyn
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𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃, 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙳𝙸𝙵𝙵𝙸𝙲𝚄𝙻𝚃𝚈 & 𝙶𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙵.
# ЗИМНЯЯ. independent, private and selective marya morevna of catherynne m. valente’s deathless. slavic folklore and headcanon influences. 18 + only. heavily plot - based. immortalized by petra.
CARRD / SIDEBLOG / PINTEREST
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𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐌𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝙱𝙻𝚄𝚁𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝚀𝚄𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂, 𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙾𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙾 the tightness of her throat and the aching of her ribcage. a woman, a wound ⸻ bloodsoaked limbs carried her betwixt dwellings of teeth and skin, away from garneted cupolas and into shadowed verdure that held what little of comforting familiarity she could find in a place that seemed farther than ever before. DEATH WAS BUT A MYTH UNTIL IT WASN’T, until it became palpable underneath her fingertips, and it left no peace. solitude proved fleeting as she discerned an apparition, a stark disparity against the eclipse, and firmly gripped the heel of her rifle. ‘ step forward and state your business at once. i won’t ask again. ‘
@epistemos
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YOU LOOK LIKE A WINTER NIGHT. 1 / ? mutuals can reblog.
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* 𝑮ODEATETH :
eyes, they can be teeth if you look close enough .. [ curved sharp & when they sunder .. ) [ there is this desperate, foul need for them to touch any surface with a pulse ) it is a cruel reminder of some leviathan living in the sleeves of his skin & persists into this depleted amount of exhaustion .. woes of a killer, they say .. “ vladymir novikov .. ( name is stated on introduction. ] have we met ? ”
& @zimnaya . “ it is a cruel reminder . ”
𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒, 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙰𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙰𝙳𝙴 more than necessary to disguise her tedium. marya morevna was accustomed to santé - ing with strangers, to meaningless palavers she had to stomach in order to ensure their certitude. A PREREQUISITE IN THE GAME OF PAWNS & BUSINESS MATTERS. the absence of liquor in her crystal old fashioned precipitated elegant withdrawal to the corner of the vast marmoreal lounge. she made sure to honey her virulent stare.
another query soon writhed in her direction and she took it in, by a force of habit, preparing the manuscript she so efficiently utilized. YET WHAT SHE SAW WASN’T THE NORM ⸻ it pulled at her middle and fuddled with the equanimity of her ( up to that point ) impeccable disposition. for the first time that night, she was enticed. beryls latched onto the latter’s, hand extending in a cordial greeting that came naturally for a woman her standing, ‘ i don’t believe we have, mister novikov, ‘ ONE COULD EASILY SEE A WOLF, A PREDATOR, far from hiding behind canopy, ‘ which is strange, because i know everyone in this room but you. marya morevna. ‘
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“Memory demands so much, / it wants every fiber / told and retold. / It gives and gives / but for a price,”
— Denise Levertov, from This Great Unknowing: Last Poems; “Memory demands so much”
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𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. bold what applies. italic what sometimes applies. strike what never applies.
𝙷𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂. being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laugh lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.
𝚂𝙰𝙳𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. running makeup. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit. withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.
𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝚁 furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.
𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚁 wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot. making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.
𝙴𝚇𝙷𝙰𝚄𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.” shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired. passing out.
#tbt.#there's so much to unpack here & there are so many exceptions .....#but generally i've made this keeping in mind younger marya while doing the italics#and the bolds are mostly things that are without exception#if you want me to elaborate on anything please send me a message !!#also yes#she's definitely the kind of person who won't notice that she's tired until she passes out#and that makes perfect sense considering her military career
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( @argenpluma ) WRITES : ‘ we all know the story of how the queen becomes a queen. ‘ THE LANGUAGE OF THORNS PROMPTS ⁽ ᴬᶜᶜᴱᴾᵀᴵᴺᴳ ⁾
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐏 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐔𝐘𝐀𝐍'𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝙵𝙴𝙻𝚃 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚅𝚈 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙶𝙴𝚁𝚃𝙸𝙿𝚂 calloused and bruised by the steel of her rifle ⸻ by the throats of phantoms with bleeding silver from their ribcage. marya could hardly remember the warmth of her velvet duvets, the tartness of wine or kasha smoothing over her tongue . . . . there was only frost nipping at her tired flesh now, only stale bread filling up her mouth, only death crooning at her ear and kissing her sunken cheeks as it left cadavers in its wake. an exhale departed the woman’s lips, a swirling mist lamenting over what was lost but for a fleeting moment. 𝚂𝙾𝙻𝙳𝙸𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚀𝚄𝙴𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙿, 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚈𝙰 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴𝚅𝙽𝙰. 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝚃𝙷. and so, the woman turned away from the table studded with lost battles and bloodstained parchment and towards the opening of her silken tent.
the moon hung large and pale, raven strands iridescent as they soaked up its company in the deafening silence. her heart ached, twisting into her with a promise to stay evermore ⸻ that anguish, so raw and red, was the only thing alive within her. ( 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐀 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐀 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍 ), a voice bloomed from the depths beyond, pulling onto her limbs with a stinging familiarity. oh, my dearest renya. but marya did not falter, not even as the knot in her maw tightened. tears pooled behind bruised eyelids, at bay. always at bay. she didn’t allow herself to reminiscence FOR HE WAS DEAD LIKE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ELSE. and she knew better than to come undone. ‘ sad creatures, us queens. ‘, a confession that leaves a bitter aftertaste, a wistful smile offered as she turns back towards her pavilion, ‘ we only become what we are when we stop looking back. ‘
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#coming from the upper middle class education was something marya was lucky to have#education up until the russian revolution was for the most part elitist and the lower classes usually remained illiterate#what's interesting is that marya lived through two different types of educational systems#one of imperial russia#with a focus on humanities and languages#and that of late tsarist / early soviet russia#based on the concept of vospitanie ( a deliberate effort to shape children into characters fitting for the soviet ideology )#combined with the emphasis on technology and science#in this regard marya managed to learn english french and german as a part of her englightenment era-esque education#+ due to her father being a merchant and marya being a curious lil' bean#still writing an essay but have this#tbt.
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—Anna Akhmatova, The Last Toast, tr. by D. M. Thomas
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𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺.
↬ THE LANGUAGE OF THORNS, midnight tales and dangerous magic. ( 2017 ) by leigh bardugo.
sentences taken from or inspired by the collection’s dialogue & narration.
+ feel free to change pronouns !
i. AYAMA AND THE THORN WOOD.
‘ love speaks in flowers. truth requires thorns. ’
‘ we all know the story of how the queen becomes a queen. ’
‘ we should leave this place. ’
‘ no doubt it will come and devour us all. ’
‘ the beast will laugh you right out of the wild lands. ’
‘ you know how the stories go. interesting things happen only to pretty girls. ’
‘ is the wood much worse than a garden overgrown with pricklers ? ’
‘ stupid girl ! do you wish to become a monster ? ’
‘ strike me. cleave me in two. ’
‘ you’re as thorny as the wood. ’
‘ there is but one rule in my wood. speak truth. ’
‘ perhaps you might show mercy freely. ’
‘ just eat a bit of the sun to fill the sky, and you will feel empty no longer. ’
‘ what nonsense ! of course that’s not how the story ends. ’
‘ some people are born with a piece of night inside, and that hollow place can never be filled. ’
‘ what do i care for winter ? no season touches this wood. ’
‘ you know the only bargain i will make. ’
‘ sometimes the unseen is not to be feared and those that are meant to love us most are not always the ones that do. ’
‘ bad fates do not always follow those that deserve them. ’
‘ no prince is worth your life. ’
‘ are you so eager to be eaten ? ’
‘ they have told me to return with your heart. ’
‘ you think to love a monster ? ’
‘ a man like you is owed no words. ’
ii. THE TOO CLEVER FOX.
‘ you are doomed to a miserable life. ’
‘ better to be hungry now than to be sorry later. ’
‘ what will everyone say when they see such a face ? ’
‘ we have not gone so soft as that. ’
‘ you think that we will let you live on foolish promises ? ’
‘ you have bested me. that much is clear. ’
‘ will you not free me ? ’
‘ you will have a fine time of it, i can tell you. ’
‘ i can bear ugliness. i find the one thing i cannot live with is death. ’
‘ if you will only cease your talking, i will gladly go. ’
‘ where he went, he bled the woods dry. ’
‘ what’s a bit more blood ? ’
‘ you should leave this place. you are not safe here. ’
‘ with such big eyes, i think you see too much. ’
‘ will you not tell me what troubles you ? ’
‘ why do you stay with him ? you’re pretty enough to catch a husband. ’
‘ just because you escape one trap, doesn’t mean you will escape the next. ’
‘ first i must find my courage. ’
‘ few can resist the sight of a pretty girl crying. ’
‘ the trap is loneliness, and no one escapes it. not even me. ’
‘ in the wood, even songbirds must be survivors. ’
iii. THE WITCH OF DUVA.
‘ there was a time when the wood ate girls. ’
‘ be back before dark. the trees are hungry tonight. ’
‘ who can say what shapes an appetite ? ’
‘ this is my home, you can’t just send me away. ’
‘ don’t be foolish. there’s plenty of light. ’
‘ well then, come help me stir the pot. ’
‘ i will warn you just this once. go. ’
‘ you cannot come and go from this place like you’re fetching water from a well. ’
‘ hope made me stubborn. ’
‘ stay there and keep quiet. i don’t need rumors that i’ve been taking girls. ’
‘ i will not have you bring a monster to my door. ’
‘ you know that you are welcome to remain here with me. ’
‘ i will follow her. i will peck out her eyes. ’
‘ believe me. say you believe me. ’
‘ dark things have a way of slipping through narrow spaces. ’
iv. LITTLE KNIFE.
‘ it is dangerous to travel the northern road with a troubled heart. ’
‘ if you are lost in your own thoughts, you may find yourself stepping off the path and into the dark woods. ’
‘ she was beautiful from the moment of her birth. ’
‘ why must i be the one to hide ? ’
‘ do you think i am so foolish or so cruel ? ’
‘ water only wants direction. it wants to be told what to do. ’
‘ always you have done my bidding, but what good are you to me now ? ’
‘ soon i will be very rich, but will i have a good man ? ’
‘ that is a question for the river. ’
‘ your tongue is not fit for my true name. ’
‘ will you come with me, and be bride to nothing but the shore ? ’
‘ she was terrifying in her beauty, bright like a devouring star. ’
‘ remember that to use a thing is not to own it. ’
‘ should you ever take a bride, listen closely to her questions. ’
v. THE SOLDIER PRINCE.
‘ this is the problem with even lesser demons. they come to your door in velvet coats and polished shoes. ’
‘ you will find great love and more gold than you could wish for. ’
‘ he’s a charming fellow, but most unusual, and peculiarities seem to follow him. ’
’ it seemed harmless at the time. ’
‘ he needed a girl, still malleable, one that he could make admire him. ’
‘ this is pleasant. this is enough. ’
‘ are you my soldier ? are you my prince ? ’
‘ i have not come to fight, only to talk. ’
‘ wanting is why people get up in the morning. it gives them something to dream of at night. ’
‘ i am perfectly real. ’
‘ she loves you, though, and that will make it harder. ’
‘ best not to ask. i think the answer would please no one. ’
‘ we can stay forever in the land of dreams. ’
‘ kiss me. take me from this place. ’
‘ i sent you to die a hundred times. ’
‘ i eat the wonder in their eyes. ’
‘ you were an idea in my head. you were nothing, and to nothing you will return when i think of you no more. ’
‘ you wanted only that i might live. you would sacrifice your own life to make it so. ’
‘ are you my darling ? are you mine ? ’
vi. WHEN WATER SANG FIRE.
‘ you wish to strike a bargain. ’
‘ make me someone new. ’
‘ this is the problem with making a thing forbidden. it does nothing but build an ache in the heart. ’
‘ easy magic is pretty. great magic requires that you trouble the waters. ’
‘ no one expects me to accomplish anything. ’
‘ i can smell your ambition like blood in the water.’
‘ i know that you should keep it like a secret, not shout it like a curse. ’
‘ yes. i can imagine it all. ’
‘ you are worth more than that. you should not have to earn him. ’
‘ hope rises like water trapped beneath a dam, higher and higher, in increments that mean nothing until you face the flood. ’
‘ there is no pain like the pain of transformation. ’
‘ take your pleasures as you will. ’
‘ come, and i’ll tell you all you wish to know. ’
‘ he made me dream of things i cannot have. ’
‘ i do not care for dancing. ’
‘ look into the mirror, and try to deny it. ’
‘ you have never been like the others, and you never will be. ’
‘ we were not made to please princes. ’
‘ i am not quite mortal either, and i have many lives to live. ’
‘ i wouldn’t care if you were part human or part frog. ’
‘ my voice is not enough. ’
‘ you know i was never strong. ’
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