zizano-s

[zizano-s]

It took me a long time to develop a sense of sociability, i don't know why but it feels that I only became an actual social individual after the pandemic. I guess I only started to value connections outside of my family after being away from any other type of connection for such a long time. Don't get me wrong, my family is still the most important type of connection I have, but it is not the only one I actually care about anymore. But one thing that bothers me in making connections for the first time with people who are used to making it is the fact that it matters to me much more than it matters to them if my supposed relationship doesn't work I will be just one of his many infatuations in life and if for some reason I become less close with my best friend - to which I don't know if I am the best friend of btw - I will be just one of the people in his life that he resonated with in his life and to me he is going to be the very first person that understood me. The fact that I am so emotionally and socially behind my peers is not a secret to me it is, in fact, something that bothers me a little.