zoisnottheboysavior

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Ladies, gentlemen, and gentlethems, my GertVi fic is officially posted.

[zoisnottheboysavior]

jinx listening to music on her headphone

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Some role swap au doodles for a friend of mine

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Guys. I actually wrote the Gert x Vi fanfic au thing I wanted to write! Whattttt. Everyone clap and say “YAY ZO🤩🤯‼️”

Bit of a summary: after Caitlyn asks Vi to become an enforcer, Vi strays further away from Piltover and finds Gert instead of Loris.

A/N: forgive me for any mistakes, it’s 3:40 in the morning and I didn’t even plan to post it until I started writing it, so I refused to sleep until I finished it because I have too much time on my hands. I’ll edit and post it on ao3 once I’m more sane and coherent, but for now, enjoy!

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Vi thinks that, in the very moment when Caitlyn asked her to be an enforcer, some kind of switch must have flipped in her brain. 

A switch flipped, and now she’s drunk off her ass, walking away from Caitlyn’s too large house with no actual direction in mind. Any positive feeling Vi felt towards Caitlyn seemed to wither away with each step. The change from what she felt not even twenty minutes earlier was so unexpected it scared her, so much so that Vi had to physically stop walking and ask herself what she was doing.

Of course she won’t leave Caitlyn, not like this. Not during the worst time of her life. Not when Vi is the one who left her, and Vi’s sister is the one that kidnapped her and killed her mom.

Not when this is all your fault. Her brain very helpfully tells her (in a voice that sounds too much like Jinx, she thinks)

Right. So of course Vi has to go back.

But then she remembers how she felt Caitlyn’s words like a punch to the gut. How it felt like she was being strangled when she was reminded of how it felt to watch her parents die at the hands of enforcers. How it felt imagining herself as the one to do that damage. The air had been knocked out of her lungs in that moment, and Vi had taken enough blows and been shoved to the ground enough to know what that felt like.

The difference now is that this wasn’t something Vi could just shake off. Vi felt deep in her soul that this wasn’t something her and Caitlyn could come back from.

That’s not to say that she didn’t want to. Caitlyn’s all she has, and Vi would be lying if she said she hadn’t developed feelings for Caitlyn over these past few days. 

But Vi keeps walking.

Because she shouldn’t just let that shit slide. She can’t. No self respecting woman would, right? 

Doesn’t seem like you have much of that left these days, that stupid Jinx-like voice speaks again.

“Oh, fuck off.” Vi mumbles back.

(Distantly, she realizes she’s actively communicating with a voice inside her head, and part of her wonders if this is how Jinx feels all the time. No, no, Jinx must feel much, much worse, Vi knows that for sure. Vi briefly wonders if she’ll get any worse. She thinks she might deserve it.)

And Vi’s so insanely frustrated, so exhausted. She’s…scared, and she really wishes she was hearing and seeing Vander instead of Jinx right now.

Oh, and now that she realizes it, Vi has little to no idea of where the fuck she is. She’s in one of the most desolate parts of Zaun she’s ever seen, a few small, rundown houses that are far from suitable for living, not a single sound that her ears can detect.

Vi is far from soothed by the silence. Everything that’s happened to her since the day she got out of Stillwater has caught up to her, here and now.

She can feel the panic rising in her chest, feel tears coming to her eyes, feel her hands shaking, and now all she can do is collapse into a crumbling brick wall and onto the ground.

What snaps her out of her freak-out is the sound of boots crunching on dirt.

Just perfect. Of course there would be someone here to witness her breakdown.

The boots get closer and closer, so Vi pulls her hood over her head and keeps to herself.

The person walks right past her before doubling back and stopping right in front of her.

And, Vi, she doesn’t look up at first. She stares down at her wrapped fists and wills the person to just walk away, because she really doesn’t want to get into a fight in her current state right now.

But she feels this person’s gaze on her, and they’re not moving, so Vi looks up.

The thing that catches her attention first is the woman’s blue hair. That teal-ish blue that’s too similar to her sister’s.

And then it’s the hairstyle that gets Vi, locs parted to the side while the rest hang to the back, brushing against her neck. Then it’s her eyes. Then her cheekbones. Then it’s the shape of her lips and the scar on the right side of her top one.

It’s all so familiar, and just as Vi’s piecing it together, the woman gets this look on her face like she’s also just realized who Vi is and goes, “Vi?”

Vi nods, because the woman knows her and she knows this woman, and they both know that they know each other and now Vi doesn’t really know what to say or do.

“Yeah, yeah, uh, that’s me.” Vi trips over the words and nearly literally trips as she gets up off the ground. “Long time no see, Gert.”

“When did you get outta Stillwater? What’s it been, like, two years? You look…” Gert tilts her head and smiles, looks Vi up and down. “Well, you don’t look that different, to be honest. Still strong.”

Vi smiles because Gert smiles, and she doesn’t really have much else to smile over, so why not get caught up in some small talk with an old friend?

“Uh, I got out, like…a week ago, I think.” Vi answers casually. “And you don’t look too different, either. Just the hair, I think.” Vi notes, that shade of blue messing her up again.

“Shit, a week ago? Vi, seriously?” Gert asks, that easygoing tone she had on a second ago now gone and replaced with genuine concern. 

She makes her way over to wall Vi’s leaning on and leans on it with her, as if that was her plan all along, like she came here specifically to talk to Vi.

“Mhm.” Vi nods, shying away from Gert’s worried gaze as she decides what to change the subject to. “But, uh, the hair. What’s that about, anyway?”  

Gert’s always been the type to dye her hair with whatever color she could find, but Vi’s seen way too many people with blue hair recently. 

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a…new development.” Gert chuckles to herself a bit and shrugs. She doesn’t elaborate but Vi kind of wants her to. “But hey, uh, if you ever need a place to crash, I gotcha.” 

Then she’s setting her studded bag down onto the dirt and rummaging through it, pulling out a notebook and scribbling something onto a corner of the page before tearing it off and handing it to Vi.

Vi stands up a little straighter, eyes widening as she realizes what’s on it. “Gert, you really don’t need t-“

“Take it, Vi.” Gert insists, actually grabbing Vi’s hand and pressing the paper into her palm. “I know how it feels to be…here. Freshly out, no where to go, lost. Alone.”

Vi looks away from her then, swallows the lump in her throat and tries to shove down the shame filling her. She knows what this must look like: she is alone. She’s drunk, crying, she probably just looks like she’s reached her lowest (she has) and Gert must think the worst of her.

“But, just take things one step at a time. You’re not alone, kay?” Gert pushes herself away from the wall, that gentle, earnest smile on her face. “I’ve got somewhere to be right now, but don’t a stranger.”

Vi looks down, looks anywhere but Gert to avoid shedding the tears welling up in her eyes right now.

“Ay.” Gert lightly kicks Vi’s boot, that relaxed tone back to her voice again. “I’m serious. Come around whenever. Got it?”

Vi smiles, and it comes easier. “Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Gert, seriously. It’s…it’s nice seeing a familiar face.”

“It’s nice seeing your face too, Vi.” Gert shrugs her bag back over her shoulder, turns around, and walks away. Vi looks back down at her hands, no longer shaking. When she looks back up, Gert is gone. Maybe a bit of Vi’s despair left with her. 

Hmm. Vi still has no idea where to start, still.

Well, at least now she knows she can.

So she pockets the address Gert gave her, pushes herself off the wall, and starts walking.

One step at a time.

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Vi sketch commission for @waezi2

In the scenario described (as an 'alternate S2E7' situation), Powder passes away during the heist and Vi later becomes a carpenter.

[zoisnottheboysavior]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Now, kith 😚

[zoisnottheboysavior]

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Hhhrgg by no means a new thought i just wanna reiterate how much it sucks that all the characters in arcane who were shown to be suicidal sacrifice themselves, but also Jinx is “still alive” like its either a copout or you admit your glorifying suicide. This has all been said in much more eloquent ways before but im going through it and hating on arcane is such a comfort for me

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Come back, I have to tell you the plot of a fic I’ll never write and get you excited about it so we can all be disappointed with me later

[zoisnottheboysavior]

also, what do they mean 'the cycle of violence only ends when you find the reason to walk away'? i'm glad silco's reappearance as a ghost could be interpreted as 'jinx seeing things' because he had known his daughter's troubles and came to understand her sufferings even deeper before he drew his last breath. that's why he reassured her that he didn't see her as anything other than perfect despite everything. why then, would his ghost suggest something jinx could very well interpret as 'ending her life'? and they even phrased it in such a way that it incorporated guilt and 'we can't do anything about it because it had been like that for centuries'.

it could mean as well that he's suggesting jinx 'walk away' very far for the cycle to stop, but that, once again, is putting the blame on her. as if silco would ever blame her for anything, he never blamed her even for her own crimes.

the only way i am buying that scene is if silco repeated the 'have you had enough?' line, which could mean that he would not blame his daughter if she would choose to fall down now because it also pains him to see her so broken. that i think is a very silco thing to say because that man used his last breath to make sure his daughter won't carry the guilt. and why bring up his and vander's fight into this? before he died, silco came to understand why vander turned away from their goal. silco chose that path as well by refusing to give his daughter to the council. he understood that there's a sense to choosing a person over a cause. and now, he's saying there's no person or cause, just cycle of violence. what the heck. if anything, i would not see his character, especially after everything he had realized in his life, reduce his daughter to a pawn in someone else's or even the universe's game. that even her death is 'a part she had to play'.

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Oh my girl, you deserve the world💔 I'll never forgive them for what they did to you💔

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Give vi two little sisters

Give isha two big sisters

Give jinx two sisters

Give Vander three daughters

Give the girls a dad

NOWWWWWWWWW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[zoisnottheboysavior]

Hi! I've just decided to start sharing my drawings here too, my main social is Twitter and I haven't used Tumblr in a while so bear with me.

I'm still in love with this drawing (and with them)

[zoisnottheboysavior]

"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

[zoisnottheboysavior]

kai and laurie and highschool designs :-)

[zoisnottheboysavior]

One thing I genuinely can't understand is how I'll see people argue that the ending of Arcane is disappointing on purpose, right. Like it's supposed to be a tragic ending, nothing is fixed because the system is bad, you're supposed to understand that this is an intentional commentary on the division that classism between Piltover and Zaun has- and then will turn around and say the Caitvi sex scene is perfect because it represents the end of the cycle of violence and that Piltover and Zaun are united now through them. Like, you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you're staking the symbolic union of two factions that have been in a severe power imbalance on the relationship between two people, you have to follow through on that. Either go all the way and show that the power imbalance still exists and treat it like the unhealthy dynamic that it is, or actually put in the work to show that the power imbalance between Piltover and Zaun has changed.