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found this three year old draft buried in my files. is it funny? I don't remember

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Keep up the great work, lads

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Imagine visiting a neighbour's apartment for the first time and everything they own seems to have a label sticker on it, labeling what it is. Like everything. You're sitting down at their table for coffee when you finally gather up the courage to ask why, exactly, does their toaster have a label on it that says "toaster".

And they just shrug and nonchalantly explain that oh yeah, my roommate is an immigrant, new to the country and still learning the language, so I figured that it'd be useful to have little everyday vocabulary scattered all over in places where they'll see them every day.

So you're relieved that there's a sensible explanation but kind of incredulous because these things are fucking everywhere. You noticed a doorknob that has a sticker saying "doorknob" on it, and the table you two are sitting at has separate labels for "table", "tabletop" and "table leg" on it. Is the labelling some kind of a long-time hobby they keep doing or did they do all of this all at once?

And they laugh like ohh of course not, no way I could've done all of this myself. I let the other neighbour's kids do it. I borrowed two different label makers from a friend, handed one to each kid and told them that the one who can label more things around the apartment wins.

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Welp, that's it. For the first time ever, I have had a shitpost do better on Bluesky than it did on Tumblr. It's been a privilege knowing you all.

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"you love enough and you love to death"

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How does one hate a country, or love one? […] I know people, I know towns, farms, hills and rivers and rocks, I know how the sun at sunset in autumn falls on the side of a certain plowland in the hills; but what is the sense of giving a boundary to all that, of giving it a name and ceasing to love where the name ceases to apply?

— Ursula K. Le Guin – The Left Hand of Darkness (1969, p. 212)

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hey man. nice regional dialect. mind if i apply some baseless assumptions about your personhood to it? i was also gonna prescribe morality to it as well. if that’s cool with you

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I try to microwave Mickey Mouse to make a statement on corporate greed but I accidentally grabbed the Kingdom Hearts version of him out of my unethically small Cage of Mickeys and now he's flipping around dodging the beams like Yoda fucked an ant

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this meme is so niche

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@philosophilia Come and get your food.

(Not tagging the others, because I think they might be getting tired of this.)

Edit: Nvm.

@fresh-cup-of-antimatter @forestkingcringe @amanicfanaticsfanartac

(drat tumblr ate my draft)

Part 3 of What if: Reclaimers!

In this future the Heralds have already been helping defecting Organon find purpose, what's one more? Sure he's a bit... Intense? Obsessive? Unconditionally loyal? But the more hands the better.

Toni was very surprised at first to hear the the brothers managed to put their heads together and not only have a decent thought, but show results in starting a movement among the population. She absolutely loves to stir the pot where she can and make sure they're still the same stupid boys she grew up with.

Argus is definitely under a lot of pressure, but his priorities always stay with family first, close friends, and then everyone else. Fork begrudgingly realises he also has to help everyone else to get Argus' attention. He'll do it, but he won't enjoy it.

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We used to have goth girls in every animated show. They wouldn't let you make a cartoon from 90-00s without at least one goth chick.

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RULE NO. 1 OF WOUND CARE: ignore itttt :33

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My roommate thought she hated cooking and then she moved in with me and started using knives that were actually sharp and realized cooking is fun. Sometimes I wonder how many other situations are like this. It's not you, or your skills. It's just the lack of correct tools. Everyone knows you need a knife in the kitchen but no one mentions a sharpening stone.

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