zorrxchicle

[zorrxchicle]

i have the smoker's demeanor and sadly an already low pulmonary capacity and high risk of cancer

[zorrxchicle]

i wish i was being hydraulically pressed rn

[zorrxchicle]

Hypothetical scenario: Alex is visiting someone else's house overnight– a friend, relative, etc, NOT a sexual or romantic partner. Alex masturbates in private while there, using only their hands and/or toys that they brought from home. There's no trace of them doing this.

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[zorrxchicle]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[zorrxchicle]

they should have tried having gay sex. it wouldnt change anything about their situation but then at least they could say they gave it a go.

[zorrxchicle]

I'm trying to train my colleague to feel more confident in Excel

(I am, and I'm not tooting my own horn here, extremely advanced at Excel. my formulae often run through 20+ clauses and autocalculate the entire sheet from one manually entered item. I knew this would be a challenge for me to calibrate because I have a tendency to assume everything I can do well is easy because I have low self esteem, so I was ready to start at the basics - maybe a quick single-clause IF function or a SUMIF if we were feeling fancy)

so I sat down with her yesterday too work through a model sheet I built her, and quickly found she didn't know:

what an = was for

that you could do a basic addition function (=A1+B1), and this delighted and impressed her

that you could click and drag or copy a cell and the formula will recalculate based on its relative position (I started to explain that you can stop it doing that if you want by using a $ in the cell reference and she said no, please stop I think that's too much for me)

and I'm not saying this to shame her because she's not stupid or unwilling to learn, it just threw me because I don't remember ever not having a knowledge of the basics of Excel. Like over the last 8 years I've learnt a LOT and I was very much doing basic mathematical functions on it when I started office work, I know I learnt a lot (and also that I have an instinctive aptitude for the specific logic that Excel uses), but I've always known what Excel is for.

anyway we were talking today and come to find out that she just. did not cover Excel at all in IT at school (we're the same age, btw, this isn't a generational thing)

then I was talking to Sam and it slowly dawned that actually I did an additional short-course GCSE (Business And Communications Studies, which was basically IT for administrators) that was mandatory in my school, so I assumed it was a national core subject like Maths or English or Science. Turns out no, my school were just stuffing their GCSEs (I did 16 GCSEs)

and now I'm reeling cause I'm like OH. OH FUCK. IS THAT WHY EVERYONE'S MICROSOFT SKILLS ARE SO UNBELIEVABLY BASIC????? because I truly did think that everyone my kind of age did at least a few years of Microsoft Office type ICT training in high school.

let me know in the tags how old you are and what country you went to school

(also substitute Numbers/Google Sheets if you don't use Microsoft, we're just talking about any spreadsheet programme)

[zorrxchicle]

You don’t even know my blood type. 

I’m AB Positive. Universal recipient.

[zorrxchicle]

guys what's your methods? personally i think about doctors examining me, works like a charm

[zorrxchicle]

[zorrxchicle]

THE VVITCH 2015 | dir. Robert Eggers

[zorrxchicle]

[zorrxchicle]

rice bowl with egg yolk sauce + whatever else is in my fridge dinner i love you

[zorrxchicle]

Ledo Lume Novo 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚🌌🔥🌊🪻🌿🪴

[zorrxchicle]

"marriage is the ONLY way to get these protections" "there is NO WAY to hack a legal arrangement to cover everything that marriage grants" "kiddos you don't remember what it was like before we could get married, we finally got rights because we could get married" Okay But You Recognize Why That's Bad, Right. Like that is really, really bad that you have to enter a specific type of relationship to get legal rights. That is A Problem. You recognize that that is Not A Good Thing, Right

[zorrxchicle]

one more email…

[zorrxchicle]

The Handmaiden (2016) dir. Park Chan-wook