zweyehander

[zweyehander]

big fan of whatever’s going on between these two

[zweyehander]

art of a BIG JRWI APOTHEOSIS SPOILER ahead !

click for better quality!

"...what did I do?"

me when I listen to fucked up and evil podcast Just Roll With It. I've been fully swept away by Apotheosis... just something about it, man. Phenomenal job to everyone.

[zweyehander]

[zweyehander]

don’t ask me why all my favourite characters are red I don’t know either

[zweyehander]

lil clam doodle inspired by Memento morì leaves a debt by @ghostiezone !! Going insane everytime I think of this fic.

[zweyehander]

doodles while I listened to bitb, !!!BEWARE OF SPOILERS!!!

Click for full images ^^

[zweyehander]

HES COMING BACKKKK WE WINNN THESEEEEEEEE

[zweyehander]

lil clam doodle inspired by Memento morì leaves a debt by @ghostiezone !! Going insane everytime I think of this fic.

[zweyehander]

Artblock been kicking my ass again. Time to draw more clam.

[zweyehander]

KOTA!!! KILL!!! RAHH!!!

💥

[zweyehander]

keeperschamp? 🥺🥺

OF COURSE!! more over here sometimes

[zweyehander]

good luck w ur storm!!!!!!! hope ur ok!!!! /gen (i hope it's over soon)

for the fanfic thing (WHEN U HAVE TIME NO RUSH FR) i've come to req this scene bc it fucking haunts me dog it's so AUGHHHH

AWAWAWAAA. THIS SCENE. it haunts me too and i am the one who fucking wrote it!!! goddd ok. this is gonna be long probably i think about ram and his trigger event a lot ok. im also going to talk a little about ram's friend group here and just ram in general you've open the fucking doors ur getting a novel as a response. get ready

this entire scene was like. inspired by and loosely based on me and my friends hanging out whenever we get together so it's like. Extra doubly horrifying for me. like we're all responsible and chronically anxious and would never do this shit but like what if we weren't!!!! what if at some point in our much stupider teenage years we Had been the type to play around with dangerous shit while drunk!!!! absolutely horrifying awful situation to even think about!!!! like as a horribly paranoid and anxious person a lot of the greats trigger events are like. me pushing my own horrible fears onto these guys and having them come out the other side anyway and eventually being ok afterwards. that is super important no matter how horrifying and gut wrenching and haunting the situations are at the time they happen!!!! (of course the greats all eventually die horribly anyway BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW)

ram and his friend group are like. super important. 2 me. ok. i couldn't expand on them much in the chapter bc i didn't wanna make it like 20k words BUT it's super important that like. they're mostly queer kids in texas in the 90's. lex and ram are probably the only ones officially Out TM more or less publicly and their parents are like. barely in the picture anymore!!! ram's dad (christian white guy with one billion ideas abut how A Man should be) tried to teach him how to hunt one (1) time and then gave the fuck up. son too fruity to hold a fucking gun right never gonna make it in this world go be a faggot with your weird faggot friends i'm done investing my time in you!!!! and his mom (mexican immigrant who moved for work and married this white fuckass for citizenship) was like. not exactly better about it publicly bc now she Also has to be christian about it but like. she was secretly a little nicer. like yeah i know your dad sucks but you are kind of a fruitcake. just date that nice girl lex i know you two get on well and it might be a bit easier. cmon sweetie lemme get you an ice pack for that bruise you know you shouldn't get in a fight with your papa when he's already mad etc etc. him being mixed didn't rly come up in his chapter bc it was more focused on his trigger and his queerness but i always planned to bring it up in a later chapter of the call (did not think it would take me this long to write the call but i'm!!!! still workin on it!!! we will get there we will get to it!!!)

like. he doesn't know shit about gun safety he doesn't know shit about safety in general his entire life has been about trying not to be like his dad and following his white queer friends around like a lost puppy because there is Literally No One Else in his life he can rely on. even after his trigger he is trying so so so hard to reconnect with any of them but every single one except for lex is like. done with him. like You fucked up ram this is on you this was your fault!! even though the gun changed hands so many times and it wasn't entirely on him it was a horrible rube-goldberg machine of little things with the gun in different hands that got gale killed!!! not that lex is perfect either but like. ram being the scapegoat was always how it was going to end up. it was always going to end up on his shoulders!!!

i wish i made his race more obvious in the chapter and i kinda wanna go back and edit it just a tiny bit to make it explicit because it absolutely plays a part in how he was treated after the fact!!!!!! especially by stacy the token straight girl in the group who i specifically wrote to like. emulate the vibes of Scared Christian White Girl. of course she's the most upset at ram about it out of all of them!!!! she doesn't even realize that's why she's mad at him specifically!! max is also definitely the straightest guy in their group. i feel like u can tell he's trying so so hard not to call ram a slur in the scene of them in class together. max definitely the kind of guy to convince ram to do something dangerous and stupid and illegal and be like no it's fine i don't get in trouble for this stuff it's literally fine (fully aware that he is white as hell and whatever consequences come for their actions will be harder for ram and liked watching ram get in trouble for shit max also did). max and stacy probably talked sometime after the incident and collectively decided Yeah it was ram and lex's fault!!!! you know how those queers are!!!!!

god this ended up being kind of about the entire chapter not just this snippet. BASICALLY TLDR: ram is a 19 year old mexican kid who is also extremely bisexual with barely any connection to his culture outside of his mom who has to act as WhiteTM as she possibly can in texas, and he has barely any kind of support system outside of his one group of mostly white friends!!! of course he's gonna fucking play russian roulette with his stupid white friends who are also some of the only queer people he knows!!! what the fuck else is he supposed to do!!! he's not gonna say no!!! that doesn't even cross his mind!!!

one last thing also. him sliding the gun across the floor in this specific snippet was in fact the gun cocking and firing one of the blank shots. he didn't mean to but if he hadn't fucked that up gale's shot would have also been blank. again not entirely ram's fault because of the amount of Shenanigans but he realizes that's what happened later and thinks oh so yeah this was entirely my fault. i killed him. im a terrible person and nothing i do will ever make up for this !!!!!

[zweyehander]

Haiiii, saw your apotheosis doodle request, could I get a lil doodle of Master Haan? That dude has such a sick design I'd love to see it in your style!!

[zweyehander]

Oh god?? The myth is here????

[zweyehander]

where did all the ghostknifers go can anyone hear me

[zweyehander]

i think that William Wisp should get to be a little more weird. i think that the room should go cold when he uses his powers. i think that lights should mimic that same blue his body gives off. lights should flicker and tvs should get all staticky.

he should be a little more creepy, a little more eldritch

i think that normal, every day civilians should get a little but creeped out by him. not able to identify what specifically is wrong about him, but knowing that somethings up

[zweyehander]

base by @fishieguyy thank you kindly

Theres a theme here... or two..... but it was really fun to figure out what Chet would look like and also figure out the others, Renwick gave me some trouble but we figured it out and are now cool.

Heres the blank base if you want to make your own!! an enjoyable experience for all you should do it. (under cut)